Pokemon Black, Day 10

Last time on Pokemon Black, Celestial Tower!

I continue up and run into an elgyem.


It uses its strong psychic power to squeeze its opponent’s brain, causing unbearable headaches.

Okay, but what the hell is it? Bulbapedia?

Elgyem is based on greys, one of the more popular kinds of alien. Its rocky physical appearance may be a reference to the stone circles of Europe, which were allegedly created by visiting extraterrestrials. The colored dots on its hands resembles the colorful faces of the invaders in the 1953 War of the Worlds film; however, the aliens in the film had green, blue and red dots while Elgyem has red, green and yellow. Judging from its Pokédex entry, Elgyem and its evolution may also be based on the Area 51 alien conspiracies or the Roswell incident.

Okay. I guess that kind of makes sense if we assume Japan has a completely different idea of what the greys look like and also is insane.

And now I’m at the top. Huh, that was fast.

There’s Skyla…and no pokemon. Damn. So it’s a ghost?

I was right. What I saw was a hurt Pokemon. Don’t worry though! It’s fine now!

Wait, you mean, like in the sense it was hurt when it died so it still needed comforting? Or in the sense you stole my catch?

I gave it a Max Revive, then it felt better and flew away!


Hee hee! Don’t I have great eyesight?

Hate you.

No matter how far away things are, a Pilot’s eyes can see them!

It amazes me that people can say with a straight face that they think the whole pokemon capitalization thing is canon because it’s in the games. Dear god, just look at this!

Then she tells me that since I came up here (pointlessly…) I might as well ring the bell. It soothes the pokemon.

Also, the character of the person ringing the bell is reflected in the sound.

Hm. Then might some sounds not be soothing?

Talking to her again: Come on, don’t be shy! Hm. Suspicious. Why doesn’t she ring the bell? What is she, shy? Or aware it’ll reveal her inner evil?

Apparently the sound is pretty.

Farla, you are a kind and strong person.

Yet again, I lament the fact that there’s no actual variation here. I never had any chance to show this.

This did irritate me with Crystal’s plot, but it wasn’t pushed so far into the forefront that it was a big deal.

Anyway, you can fly from the top of the tower, which is nice.

To the gym. Looking at the pillars, no one’s gotten here before me.

The gimmick this gym is getting shot out of cannons in what honestly looks like an extremely unsafe system.


My ducklett is doing quite well. Aqua ring + burn from scald + fly is a wonderful thing.

The bit where you hop through hoops is very nicely done, and the bit where you smack into the wall is funny.

But I spammed revival herbs on my pokemon rather than trek back to the pokecenter to heal, because I didn’t want to crawl through the animations again. And there wasn’t any actual puzzle component.

Oh my god her outfit. Nintendo. Flying is COLD. People wear real clothes when they fly!

Swoonbat L33
Unfezant L33
Huh, her unfezant actually knows razor wind. Never could figure out what the point of that move is.
Swanna L35

So now pokemon up to L70 will obey me.

…shame my team’s barely cracked L30.

She also tells me she saw Team Plasma heading to the next city. Uh, did you also tell the authorities about this? I’m just a stranger you ran into recently.

Oh! Hey there N!


…so, waiting to ambush me on my way out after a gym fight, knowing I probably didn’t heal my pokemon with items afterward. Clever boy.

N: They may say it is for understanding one another better, but what Trainers really use battles for is to complete.

This is true.

And they hurt each other’s Pokemon! Am I the only one who finds this terribly painful?

…seems like it. Sorry, N. Taking over the world really is looking like a better and better option by the minute.

Whatever… I’m going to talk to your Pokemon. I’ve been living with Pokemon since I was born, so it’s easier for me to talk with them than with people.

…Because pokemon never tell lies.

Hey, Krokorok. Would you tell me what kind of Trainer Farla is?

OK, OK, got it. So Farla was born in Nuvema Town, lives with Mom, and was given the Pokedex to start off a journey to see the world.

…I wonder if he’s supposed to talk to my starter here. Because Maka was caught way after all that.

Still, this Krokorok trusts you for some reason. That’s good! If every person and Pokemon cared about one another like you two do, I could watch over the future of people and Pokemon without having to liberate Pokemon from people who just use them.

Huh. See, this to me strongly suggests that the average trainer must not be very good. Before this, I was assuming N’s ability to understand pokemon was really limited and worked in weird ways – I mean, in order to chat the first time he wanted a pokemon battle, and he seemed to have a lot of trouble understanding them. But here, it seems he can just straight up chat with anyone’s pokemon, which in turn means other pokemon must be giving different answers.

Ghetsis is using Team Plasma to search for some special stones– the Light Stone and the Dark Stone…

If I can’t use those to force the respective eeveelutions in addition to whatever legendary stuff they’re presumably connected to, I will cry.

These stones hold the essence of two legendary Pokemon. It is said that when they lost their physical form, they fell into a slumber and were transformed. Now, they wait for the hero’s arrival… I shall resurrect a legendary Dragon-type Pokemon from one of these stones

Oh. So that’s what’s with the focus on fossils. We’re dealing with legendary fossils here.

and become its friend. That will show the world I am the new hero. Everyone will follow what I say!

Actually, it’d be cool if this did work. I mean, it sounds silly to me because I don’t have any cultural baggage about a legendary dragon, but if someone with white feathery wings showed up tomorrow to endorse a political candidate, I would take it seriously, and I’m an atheist. Imagine how much stronger a response you’d get with a culture like Pokemon’s, where they’re always going on about various things showing mystical proof or endorsement of your character, like the sound a bell makes when you ring it.

Back to the conversation. N shakes his head back and forth.

My vision is to change the world without using force. Trying to change the world with force will just make others resist. If people resist, the ones that will be hurt are the innocent Pokemon used by foolish trainers. You understand.

Oh, I do. I never really expressed this well in Pokemon Revolution, but the fact the majority of the battles are pokemon vs pokemon was supposed to be part of how weirdly socialized the pokemon are because trained pokemon spend most of their time attacking strangers for no reason. It worked out well for Eon, though.

Kudos for N having a better moral compass.

Pokemon are not just tools for people to use! As a result… Pokemon and Trainers who care about one another, like you and your Pokemon, will be separated. And that does break my heart a little.

And then he walks off. Ah, so that’s how we keep the antagonist stuff rolling. He’s expressing a very reasonable position, but then finishing by saying it’ll have some extreme effects.

On to the next cave, then.

Joltick just evolved into…I swear I’ve seen that digimon before. It’s called galvantula here.


When attacked, they create an electric barrier by spitting out many electronically charged threads.

And it doesn’t evolve again. Back to the PC. Tynamo looks intriguing, and my pokedex has expanded to suggest it’s got a later stage.

An unfezant appears! A girl.

Males swing their head plumage to threaten opponents. The females’ flying abilities surpass those of the males.

I assume that’s fluff and there isn’t actually a nidoking/nidoqueen stat divide for these guys.

Oh, Cheren’s come running up behind me.


Is that how it’s always going to be now? I want to run into the rival ahead of me, otherwise what’s my motivation to try to beat him places?

He’s only got four pokemon and they’re in the lower end of the L30 range. His starter’s still L35 and hasn’t evolved. I do run into some trouble because most of my team is weak to water.

Suddenly, Douchy McFlamehair appears to say he liked our battle. Go away.

Cheren says he just lost because he was weaker.

…And, honestly, it bothers me when you call it a fine battle despite that.

It does seem somewhat like an insult.

Alder: Oh, honestly, Cheren. Just accept it the compliment without the stinging remark.

Passive-aggressive dick powers go!

I’ve asked you this before, but what do you plan to do after becoming strong?

Cheren: If I get strong and become a Champion, that will be the reason for my existence. I want to prove that I’m really living.

Eh, so there’s problems with that, but hey, he’s a kid. You can’t really expect them to have ready adult goals. This is a perfectly good goal where you achieve it and then realize you want more, or you don’t achieve it and realize you should have a different goal. Time and experience fix this fine. It’s not like he said, “Then I rain fire and death upon everyone!” or something.

Point is, chasing after him asking him what his long-term goals are every five minutes is like interrogating elementary school kids. “Oh, so you want to be president, huh? Well what do you plan to do next? And then what? Hm, are you sure you’ve thought this through?”

Alder: Hmmm… You remind me of Marshal. Of course, having something you want to become is important.

I sense a but.


Here we go.

what is even more important is what you do with your newfound power.

See, just mentioned this. He doesn’t have any murder fantasies. He doesn’t have any plans of what to do. He’s just aiming for the thing itself, not using it as a stepping stone for some other goal. You know what? That’s fine.

Finally, flamefucker justifies his existence a bit and hands over a surf HM, then finally, finally goes away.

Cheren says he doesn’t know what he wants to do with his power, he just wants to become a strong trainer. He heads into the cave.

I follow and find he hasn’t gone far. And worse…Clay.

Clay: What a surprise. Seein’ ya here while I was inspectin’ Twist Mountain. Th’ two of ya seem a bit more rugged than the last time I saw ya. A li’l bit, anyway…

Cheren: Is that so.

Clay: By th’ by… You folks seen that Team Plasma crowd lately?

Why, are you feeling like rolling over and letting criminals walk all over you again? I can punch you and take your money. I mean, if you want.

After all the trouble, we Gym Leaders met up and had a chat. But we’ve got no clue where they are. It’s like they’re hidin’ under a rock.

So I guess Skyla didn’t bother passing what she saw on. Or maybe they’re just keeping Mr. Appeaser out of the loop. God knows if I was her I wouldn’t want him getting involved again.

Well, not much to do but wait for ’em to move. Anyhow, this’s none o’ yer concern. Squirts like the two of ya should just enjoy travelin’ with yer Pokemon.

…until Plasma shows up and I order you to do all the legwork again, I mean.

Anyway, he says to check out the mountain and says we can train at “his” mountain as long as we like. Then he goes away.

Cheren says he was bracing to get dragged into dealing with Plasma again, then goes off as well.

And oh. Looks like they’re stripmining the place. Ugh, it’s hideous.

Hm, a woobat. But I keep fainting them.

And Dwebble’s evolving. Into a crustle.


…so hideous.

Competing for territory, Crustle fight viciously. The one whose boulder is broken is the loser of the battle.

Anyway, my team’s taking a beating, so I’m off to heal. I’d take the candle ghost, but as I mentioned my team takes a beating to water types already. I think I’ll raise a deerling, I don’t have any plant types.

Current Team:

PhotobucketKrokorok L36
PhotobucketArchen L35
PhotobucketDarumaka L33
PhotobucketDucklett L31
PhotobucketTynamo L31


  1. Ember says:

    Psst I am stalking your reviews and I think you left one on the wrong story

    1. Farla says:

      I suppose it’s inevitable copy paste would eventually bite me.

      Oh! I think I see. Damn, so many other stories where swapping reviews wouldn’t have done much.

      1. Fool says:

        What? o_O Where’s the misplaced review?

  2. purplekitte says:

    This is one of my favorite N sections. Just when I was getting annoyed at Plasma being hypocritical and batshit, he comes around and says well thought out and legitimate things. And yeah, I reacted exactly the same way to Alder in this section.

  3. Beattie Lesnick says:

    “The majority of battles are Pokémon vs Pokémon”

    1. Farla says:

      Sweetie, I’m talking about where I deliberately wrote pokemon attacking other pokemon. I know reading is hard but I promise if you take a few breaths and get some oxygen in there, you’ll be able to do it!

      1. Roarke says:

        My favorite part about this comment is that “animal-rights-advocating” is used as an insult. That really sells it, imo.

        1. SpoonyViking says:

          I was more baffled by the “violent” part, really.

          1. Roarke says:

            No, it’s like, ‘violent’ is, at least, an insult, whether or not it’s true. ‘Animal-rights-advocating’ is basically like being insulted for being ‘a rational person who cares about animals to some extent’. Whether or not it’s true, the fact that it’s being used as an insult says more about the author than the person being insulted.

            1. Beattie Lesnick says:

              I’m talking about like you think you know WHAT they’re thinking and trying to impose human values on them.

              1. illhousen says:

                Upvoting yourself: still a bad tone. You do know that this can be easily checked just by holding cursor above the number of votes, right?

                Anyway, as to the issue at hand, we actually do have a pretty solid understanding of what animals think. They don’t share human values, obviously, but nobody claimed otherwise. That said, there is a good reason why cockfighting is not considered a wholesome activity nowdays.

                When it comes to pokemon, though, everything becomes much more murky because they’re fictitious creatures. They don’t think anything, they don’t have values, they’re just a bunch of ones and zeroes or words on paper, depending on the medium. How they’re portrayed speaks more about people depicting them than anything.

                And the way they’re portrayed in various mediums often boils down to a weapon you can equip at will and little more than that. That is simply unsatisfying narratively if nothing else and can be rather disturbing when you think about it.

              2. Roarke says:

                You don’t get to talk about upvoting, illhousen. You never upvote ANYONE. My validation-starved ass checks every single time someone upvotes me, and it’s NEVER YOU.
                Why won’t you notice me, Senpaaaaaiii~

              3. illhousen says:

                Hey, I did upvote (well, given a like) to two people once. On another forum. A year or so ago.

                It’s a consequence of hanging out on one forum back at a start of my Internet presence where the number of upvotes and downvotes (Karma) you could give was severely limited (one point per 50 posts you leave on the forum or so). You’d need to do something really impressive there to get a Karma, mostly revolving around generating good content.

                I kinda carry the same attitude around.

              4. Roarke says:

                I mean, we’re trying to impose human values on you, even though we don’t know what you’re thinking. I guess it’s just a habit of ours.
                Also, ignore illhousen. Keep upvoting yourself; it’s hilarious.

              5. Farla says:

                Here’s the beautiful thing about rights: you don’t have to exercise them. If I think weasels want a chance to swim, and you think they hate going in water, and we give them access to a pool, only weasels who want to swim will go in.

                So when someone argues vehemently to never give them access to one because they obviously don’t want it – well, why?

            2. SpoonyViking says:

              Ah, you know how many see “pacifist” as being equivalent to “weak and cowardly”? It’s the same rationale behind using “animal-rights-advocating” as an insult: it’s sort of like calling someone a “tree-hugging hippie” (which, in turn, is probably a result of the distorted logic that says “You care about silly things, like the environment? Why don’t you spend your energy caring for REAL ISSUES?”).

              1. Roarke says:

                Like guns. The guns must be free. They shouldn’t be imprisoned in a separate locked container from their ammunition. It defies the natural order.

              2. illhousen says:

                “I have a question for you. Do you believe in gun control? Who would take
                gun control over population control anyway. Population control is
                quality control.”

              3. Roarke says:

                “An armed society is a polite society.”
                Incidentally, Bully was a good game. I think it might have been released under some weird name like Canis Canem Edit (Dog Eat Dog) in countries other than American, though.

              4. illhousen says:

                I think I’ve heard about it, though it appears to not be my thing.

                The quote was from Middens, by the way, which I really should review one of those days. I have the screenshot fodder and everything. It’s like, imagine if Chara were a gun and you’ll get the gist of it.

              5. Roarke says:

                Chara is already a gun. Chara doesn’t kill people; people (you) kill people (monsters). Chara just helps. And then kills everyone regardless of your wishes.
                So, yeah, a gun.

              6. Farla says:

                Hm. You know, I wonder if ironically, guns prevent this politeness by being the sort of overkill that gets people killed. Videogames that arm you heavily but punish death produce very polite behavior, but videogames still let you try again after you fuck up the first few times.

                By all accounts, the American south was both extraordinarily polite and extraordinarily brutal due to an established dueling culture – however, they weren’t pulling out AK-47s and mowing everybody down, they were keeping their thumbnails sharp for eye-gouging. One might disagree about the balance of polite society vs people having all their eyes still in place, but their behavior was in line with their goals. Now they’re just a bunch of nutjobs shooting people at random.

              7. Roarke says:

                You should play Bully. It’s a good game.

                And yeah, I’ve always wondered about Southern politeness/hospitality, or whatever they call it. Back in the day, I thought the region was morally bankrupt and only succeeded in having this surface etiquette slathered on top. That was me being a silly naïve teenager, honestly. I have the feeling nowadays that there was probably more to it.

              8. Roarke says:

                So I watched the video (I was at work when you made the comment). Good stuff, as usual from Yahtzee (though lately I’ve preferred his written work). “It’s almost as if the NRA were right all along” sells it, haha.

              9. SpoonyViking says:

                Pffft. Guns are the refuge of the weak.
                Now swords, on the other hand… :-P

              10. Roarke says:

                … are still the refuge of the weak. Use your bare hands, you pansies!

              11. SpoonyViking says:

                Bah! Swords are elegant weapons for a more a civilised age!

              12. Roarke says:

                I’ll concede one of those two points.

              13. Axel Grease says:

                I really should have phrased it better. I think the environment deserves to be treated well, specifically the ocean (I have convinced other people to stop eating seafood on this reason)

            3. Farla says:

              It’s because all is finite and happiness is a lie. That’s also why feminism is evil.

              If I say I don’t want women to be raped, I’m saying I want those rapes to happen to men instead. If I say I don’t want men raped either, I really mean I want different men to be raped instead.

              So if I say I want animals to have better treatment, what I mean is I want humans to suffer instead.

              1. Roarke says:

                It’s because all is finite and happiness is a lie.
                So suffering is a constant, and the only thing we can change is which group that suffering happens to. That definitely sounds like something the privileged group would think of to resist social progress.

              2. Axel Grease says:


              3. Farla says:

                I’m sure this is a really witty reference that’d completely put me in my place if only I had the context.

  4. Axel Grease says:

    Why do you love violence?

    1. Farla says:

      In this case, because it’s a funny contrast to the blandass storyline where I just stand around while assholes talk to each other.

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