Last time, crazy villain flamehair and his creepy conversation with popular actor lady!

The people in this cafe appear to actually be at one because they like drinking coffee and most of the conversation is about that. How interesting.

I hear Lysandre’s gathering young people for society’s sake.

So the moral is the youth is prone to being footsoldiers for evil cults.

Leaving, I suddenly get a holo clip thingy, from Orange, who appears as in blue. He informs me that route 5 is currently stuffed with wild pokemon.

When I try to head there, a guy in a pink suit spiky box shouts Hey! then more normally continues, Nice to meet you, friend! They call me Mr. Bonding. Have you heard about O-Powers? No, but I’ve been using them. Also, terrible, terrible name. Less said the better.

He says Serena’s expression shows she hasn’t. Dammit, game. Then explains them as things that do stuff, and gives me attack and defense.

Continuing onto the route itself, a lucario runs over to me.

Wait! Lucario!!! someone spiky-box shouts. They’re really overusing that function more and more, aren’t they?

And some roller skater shows up with another one in tow. She explains she was doing some training and that her lucario likes me, perhaps because of my aura. Serena can then say either Thanks! or You think so? I’ll go with the latter. And yes, that prompts an aura explanation.

This Lucario is always getting worked up in battle with my other one. Maybe it’s just been waiting for a Trainer to appear who’s strong enough to challenge it… Then she introduces herself as the Shalour gym leader Korrina. So two female gym leaders in a row! She heads off and after a delay, so does her lucario.

Just beyond is a skate park where there’s a railing you can hop onto! Yay! Also, some trainers finally. I need money. It’s a twin pair who use the not-pichus, with a dumb AI that has them both using helping hand. Then using helping hand to boost thunder wave.

Huh, looks like squirtle now learns water gun before bubble, because she just turned L13 and that’s what I’m being offered. Also, bubble is now power 40 instead of power shit, making it exactly like water gun but better.

Ah, and now the kids are saying such things as What’s “co-opper-ashun”? Pokemon battles are hard… so I guess Serena’s passed my complaints on. Is the AI varied?

Ah, and here’s a not-absol, furfrou! AND IT’S A GIRL YAY.

Trimming its fluffy fur not only makes it more elegant but also increases the swiftness of its movements. So either all trims give you a flat speed boost or different trims do different things. Also, how would that possibly evolve.

Pancham. Also a girl! Looks kind of silly, though.

It does its best to be taken seriously by its enemies, but its glare is not sufficiently intimidating. Chewing on a leaf is its trademark.

Haha, perfect.

Gulpin. And hey, caught it immediately in a pokeball. Friends!

It has a small heart and brain. Its stomach comprises most of its body, with enzymes to dissolve anything.

Just beyond looks like it’s more plot in the form of my least favorites Green and Orange.

My goodness… begins Green. Pokemon hordes are certainly intense… So I missed it. I guess it isn’t a time thing.

Yeah! They’re just like a dance team made up of Pokemon, aren’t they? Orange, I don’t give a damn about dance. Go away.

Oh, Tierno, do you ever think about anything besides dancing? GREEN, ACKNOWLEDGING A FLAW DOES NOT MEAN IT IS FIXED

Nope! Even during Pokemon battles, I’m always checking out their moves! Orange says obliviously. Die already. And my feet just start moving, too! I can’t even help it, y’know? Like with Swords Dance! I love it! I guess that’s why I can never win… Why the hell don’t you just stick to watching stuff on TV and get out of the plot already! Oh, hey, it’s Lady S! Do your Pokemon know any sweet moves? Show me in a battle!

Well at least I’ll get to find out what his pokemon is.

You know what the game didn’t do? The game didn’t lovingly pan over his bare legs.

Hm, a L12 corphish. Doesn’t even know water moves, or else he’s too dumb to use them.

Good to see you, Serena… Excuse me, I meant Lady S.

We gonna fight?

It really does seem as thought Tierno can only think about dancing and moves. When a horde of Pokemon popped out, he just stood there watching them…

Well, yeah, Trevs! Coming up with the world’s best Pokemon dance IS my dream, after all. Stop talking, Orange. I was born to dance! I won’t ever stop! Not with moves like this!

Green, instead of trying to slap some sense into him, responds with, That’s indeed a perfect dream for you, Tierno! I guess I should show just as much dedication to my dream of completing the Pokedex, then! It’s good to be serious about some things! Oh, uh, Lady S? Do take this Honey, won’t you? You see, using Honey will encourage Pokemon hordes to appear. Though if you are going to challenge a whole horde… You may want to use moves that can hit multiple targets.

Just beyond is a trainer with a L12 kadabra that kicks my team’s butt. Knocks out my litleo, almost does to my bunnelby before I switch to Flabebe.

And hey, just found a hidden object in one of the rocks. So those are still a feature. Then there’s a slope. To my disappointment I don’t slide back down if I stop moving.

Plusle. It’s a shame these two are unusable thanks to earthquake.

It cheers on friends with pom-poms made of sparks. It drains power from telephone poles.

Skiddo! Hi, cutie! And she’s a girl too!

Thought to be one of the first Pokemon to live in harmony with humans, it has a placid disposition.

So…Kalos is where the whole pokemon/human thing started? Or possibly there’s some other contenders and all the different regions argue over who was first.

And doduo.

A two-headed Pokemon that was discovered as a sudden mutation. It runs at a pace of over 60 miles per hour.

…so there’s another one-headed version around? What?

Ah, a horde! Of scraggy. Razor leaf works on all of them! This is fun.

Its skin has a rubbery elasticity, so it can reduce damage by defensively pulling its skin up to its neck.

I should probably try raising the racist pokemon sometime.

Flabebe seems to be interested in the other pokemon’s scent. What?

And an oran tree! So none of that watering business. I kind of liked the planting, but as a minigame, yeah, it was a pile of crap and grinding. I’d like to be able to plant them, maybe water a bit, and have them remain indefinitely.

Bunnelby just learned take down! That’s a bit strong of a move. By comparison Fennekin only just learned flame charge.

Also, I have money. Time to see what I can do with my hair. Seems I can’t go darker and be full goth.

Abra! Teleports.

Okay, finally figured out one thing about fairy, it’s bad against poison.

To the next area!

Thank you for using the Holo Caster, says a creepy smiling graphic. It’s sort of like a smiley crossed with the AOOOOOOOOOO symbol. Lysandre Labs

IEEEEEEEEE THROW IT AWAY EW CREEPY MURDERER COOTIES

developed the Holo Caster to make the lives of Pokemon Trainers richer, fuller, and more convenient. We hope you’ll continue to enjoy the fine services this device provides.

And I continue along.

Ooh, when my pokemon are healed their images go up on the screen above, only just noticed that.

Fennekin’s evolving! Now she’s a braixen, and her tail has a stick coming out of it to look like a broomstick why u do this designers.

Also, the pokedex is one of those not-haiku so common from last generation:

It has a twig stuck in its tail.
With friction from its tail fur, it sets the
twig on fire and launches into battle.

Abra!

It sleeps for 18 hours a day. It uses a variety of extrasensory powers even while asleep.

Fighting is not very effective against fairy, apparently. Which means that normal/fairy hybrids wouldn’t be weak against it, and reminds us of how this means that azurill can’t be part fairy since previously they took double damage.

I think that’s everything.

Well. Current team:

Flabebe L17 (when will you evolve?!)
Fletchling L16
Braixen L16
Litleo L16
Bunnelby L15
Squirle L15