Camphrier Town
A town where you can taste the ages.

Now, the buildings! Inside one is a counterculture guy and two counterculture girls. Counterculture guy is in charge of the servers for the pokemon-in-PCs thing. You know, actually seeing the servers is pretty creepy when you stop to think about it. If there’s a fire or something, do they all just die? What happens when a hard drive fails? Personally I’d go with the idea that the computers running is keeping them in digital form and if anything interrupts that they pop back out, but looking at this, that’d probably be fatal too – all pokemon in Kalos reappearing on top of each other in one little room? Not going to go well.

Also, I get thief, which most of my team can learn, so they do so, even though they also mostly favor special moves.

Outside: It’s about that time again, huh… That lazy lug will be back soon… So…something! No idea yet. Person? Pokemon?

Another person: We differentiate ourselves from Lumiose City with our quiet atmosphere of timelessness. I guess that’s why the “road” is just some flat rocks and dirt. Must be miserable anytime it rains.

There’s a hotel, where the poor guy at the desk informs me that he runs the place singlehandedly. Another person gives me a full heal.

Outside someone welcomes me as a “dear visitor” and gives me a berry juice. Inside the next building, someone gives me a sweet heart, then someone else wants to see a fire type, which I certainly have, then I get a berry. Nice place!

The old manor lord was very generous. He was very different from the king who lived in the palace.

What what? Maybe this’ll tie into the lazy whoever mentioned earlier.

Inside the pokecenter, I find the name rater, who is useless to me. Another guy says, Every day that passes just like the day before… Doesn’t it make you a little nervous when you’re this happy? Starting to get a little nervous that one of the people working on the script is having trouble with depression.

Ah, and up top is a castle complete with moat and drawbridge, so that’s why it was mentioned.

It’s Pinkie and some blackbelt. Hi, Lady S!

An acquaintance of yours? Two visitors to Shabboneau Castle? I can’t remember the last time we’ve been so busy!

So this place is less tourist town and more complete backwater that can’t improve anything due to being a complete backwater.

This castle, chateau if you will, was the manor house of a noble family. It may be a little run down, but that’s because there’s history to this place. During that history, the owners of this castle gave away a lot of their stuff to everyone, so that’s why it feels so empty. The end.

Pinkie, proving once again to be quite on the ball, responds, That’s it?! Don’t you have anything related to Mega Evolution? Pinkie, if they knew about it they wouldn’t need us to investigate it.

Blackbelt is baffled. That’s it. What in the world is Mega Evolution?

… goes Pinkie. Then someone appears from behind!

Sir! It’s back again! Oh boy!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Is it that time of year already? well, there’s nothing I can do about that now… I need to go to Route 7, but please take your time and have a look around.

I wonder what that’s about, says Pinkie. Why don’t we go to Route 7, too?

Well, I know that it’s presumably scripted and has no relation to time, but Serena doesn’t! So yes, we better hurry so we don’t miss whatever’s about to go down.

At the wall – so yeah, this is another walled city, but this time without gates, just big holes defeating the purpose of walls – someone standing there says, Shabboneau Castle must look pretty different to you than it does to me. We are different people, after all. Um, okay.

I exit, and Pinkie runs up behind me. Lady S! They said they were going this way! And she indicates which branch to take. I cannot go the other way without her yelling me back into line. Give me a bit more control, game…

Hm, but just beyond it branches again and I can go a different way. I see a pair of people and they tell me to come this way. They need me to take care of their berry field. So I can plant berries too. So…that better not mean the other berry trees are single use.

Also, apparently I now need to worry about weeds and bug pokemon. On the other hand, I can now compost berries into mulch, so I can get a good self-sustaining thing going on.

Back to the plot! It’s a snorlax.

Lady S! What is it? I just said. Ooh, and as the screen pans I see pokemon in a fenced area with toys. Soon I will have eevee eggs.

Here we go again. It’s sleeping so soundly, the end of the world wouldn’t wake it. Now now, Blackbelt, I’m sure some violence can fix this.

Look! It’s practically a mountain, right? It’s blocking the road completely. I’d be more grateful the bridge is even holding. Come now, sir. Use the Poke Flute! Oh, wait… Do you even have it anymore?

…

Nope. I handed it over, Blackbelt says.

Or you could say it was taken… By the owner of the palace. Will I get to beat them up? Probably it’ll end with them learning a lesson about being nice to the little people and not the toppling of an archaic and fundamentally corrupt order.

What? Huh? What’s a Poke Flute? Dammit, Pinkie.

Basically, the Poke Flute is what we need to wake up Snorlax. To the point. But the Poke Flute is currently at Parfum Palace. OH BOY FETCH QUEST~

Oh, that’s it? All we need to do is go get it, then! Music note, of course. I am in full agreement. Come on, Lady S! Let’s go! Another music note. I should just look up a way to make the character display. The Parfum Palace is just past Route 6! And maybe at a place like that, we might learn something about Mega Evolution! I’m glad Pinkie’s taken it on herself to remind me of the ostensible plot, I always forget that immediately. That’s the problem with video games – if you just keep walking, you’ll eventually hit the next plot point and everyone will be oh you’ve come to ask about THING I FORGOT HALF AN HOUR AGO. Part of why I kept getting lost in FF7, they give you rope to hang yourself with there.

Quick though, let’s chat with the other people.

Blackbelt: Snorlax is only sleeping, after all. When it gets in the way, we used to just wake it with the Poke Flute, but..
Other guy: Stuffing your face and then sleeping… That’s not a bad way to live.

Found a heal ball. That’s really such a pointless item.

The first guy I meet on the way says that it’s an easy stroll from this direction, but from the other… Yeah, I’m going through the reeds, looks like. Why is it designed this way?

Oh boy the other people are trainers! First has L11 pokemon, so yeah, I’m hideously overleved even without fighting wild pokemon. Damn.

Hm. I think I’ll try bleeding off some experience points in evolving pokemon I’m not going to raise. Shame there’s no way to set the exp share to just one pokemon.

YES! Flabebe is finally evolving. Unlike Bunnelby, she did not grow on me, which is why she’s the highest level, I was trying to get rid of her. And…she evolved into a bigger version of herself. Well, off she goes. Now I’ll use two slots to raise a metapod and kakuna.

Anyway, on to the palace, which is very shiny. Gawkers around have the usual opinions about it – on the one hand, ridiculous and extravagant, on the other, wouldn’t it be nice if it was yours?

Approaching the gilded gates, I’m informed a ticket in will be a thousand yen.

You’ve got to be kidding! Pinkie says, spikyboxing her rage. It costs money to go inside? Seems reasonable to me – it’s someone’s (very expensive, yes) house, and we’re just going to be tramping around and maybe trying to shove things in our pockets, why should they want us there?

But such reasonableness is not here today: You see, the owner of the palace follows the school of thought that you can never have too much money. Well, palace upkeep is expensive.

Yeesh! This is how the rich get richer! YEAH PINKIE LET’S BUST OUR WAY IN POKEMON TRAINERS CANNOT BE STOPPED

But no she hands him the money. Hm, if I somehow had less than a thousand, would she pay for me? Or would he say he’d take what I had?

The proceeds from the entrance fee help pay for repairing and restoring the palace. Probably…

And…apparently I can only stay on the path. I am really not liking that part of the game, they’ve made it so you’re much more hemmed in.

The door opens into a room of gold statues!

Where is it? spikeyboxes some guy. Like I said, really overusing that. He runs in a circle. Where could it be?! My Furfrou! My beloved little Furfrou has disappeared!

Pinkie empathizes about how upset she’d be if her pokemon was missing, so she suggests we help.

I am a traveling minstrel, wandering the world.
Please listen to my song and hear my words…
The Kalos region, now upheld as fair,
From ancient days an ugly past doth bear.
The woes of war did knock on every door,
Till man nor Pokemon could take no more,
Three thousand years ago, upon this shore.

I’m asked if I want to give a tip. I’m liking how many ways this gives you to blow through money, I always end up with so much. That said, that was terrible verse, no. Mildly grateful for the info, but good god, this is not your talent.

Further on, someone claims that What’s special about this place isn’t just the beauty of the architecture itself. It’s about how the paintings and sculptures work in harmony with the surroundings. This is true only in that the surroundings are so garish that the paintings and sculptures can’t out-garish them.

Into a room!

This room used to serve as a waiting room for Pokemon before they were brought out for a battle.

Hm…

Little kid: You mean Pokemon just waited here calmly? Pokemon are so funny!

This is interesting. So pokemon battles well predate pokeballs. It may have been something only the rich could afford, or possibly this waiting room is like the people who stick diamond-crusted collars on their pets, normal people had something similar but less insane. Did pokemon demand a fancy waiting room if they were going to wait peacefully and not eat people?

In the next room, I’m informed it used to be full of awesome stuff like jewelry and medals but now isn’t.

On to the beautiful balcony.

Long ago, the king and his Pokemon would enjoy their meals at this table. So humans and pokemon were close.

Ooh, found an amulet coin.

I heard that a forbidden tome once existed that contained the secret to bringing Pokemon back to life. It’s probably just a rumor, though. We’ve certainly got nothing of the sort in our library!

Well you sure know how to get my attention! Serena, check out every inch of the bookshelves.

There’s a book called “The Transforming Pokemon and the Mysterious Stone” on the shelf. It’s about a certain incident that occurred in Shalour City. Something about a Pokemon that changes its form at the beginning of a battle. The person next to the Pokemon is holding a mysterious stone… Could that have something to do with it?

It sounds like everyone already agrees the answer is yes.

Also, please let the pokenecromancy book be somewhere. He said it exists, but just isn’t in his library, so it could be in another one.

Down the stairs to check out the other side of the lower area. People are discussing how great the king must’ve been to build this, until finally someone says This palace was built after Kalos won a war with neighboring regions. I’ll bet a lot of people and Pokemon lost their lives… Thank you! Palaces are not reasons to venerate your overlords.

In another room, we continue this trend: The owner of this palace only inherited it, you know. It’s not as though he earned it. and Just because the parents were great, it surely does not mean that their children will also be great. In fact, the opposite is often true! Although I’m still not convinced the parent was great in the first place.

Don’t try to sleep in the king’s bed. It’s ir-regal! Ha ha! Hey! Are you trying to use Mean Look at me?

Serena is not a fan of puns, it seems. Also, when I go into the room she promptly hops into bed to take a nap. So not a fan of being told what to do in general.

Alright, returned to where I started with still no sign of some probably overgroomed poodle pokemon.

Ah, but there’s middle doors I missed. Tell me about these doors, guy who’s standing there.

Past this door is the pride and joy of the palace–the too-vast courtyard. Ha! Someone’s tired of dealing with that.

Pinkie pops up behind me and says she’ll go look in the back.

Hey, I can’t rollerskate here!

Someone says that apparently some king made rules about when people were allowed to look at the garden and rightly points out this was insane.

I find a cut HM and also an explanation for what’s special about the trees this gen – they’re apparently prickly. Well in that case I’ll destroy every one.

Okay, found poodlepokemon, and it naturally runs, and Pinkie explains it’s a puzzle, tells me where to put her, refuses to let me stick her in another spot when it’s obvious that isn’t working, makes me fail another dozen times, then suggests I put her in yet another spot to deal with the problem, then tells me how to arrange her once that’s done. Let me do the puzzle myself, game!

Pinkie then compliments me and says it’s all because I understand how pokemon feel. What?

Then the guy shows up punning a lot and saying this proves their bond and being really happy and saying he’ll set off fireworks. Pinkie now thinks they shouldn’t have reunited them because If I were a Pokemon, I’d hate to have a Trainer like that! Hm so is this part of a plot But I really love fireworks, so let’s make the best of it! Nope. Also, don’t we need the pokeflute? We need to ask about the pokeflute.

At the back, some people are discussing how there must have been contact between Kalos and Unova since there’s statues of their two legendaries. Well, sure, I mean we know Kalos was able to wage war on somebody.

The king who built this palace rules the entire Kalos region all on his own, just like an ancient king from 3,000 years ago.

Wait, what? So he’s way more recent, but somehow no one’s giving dates, and apparently he and that ancient king are the only ones to ever do that? How does this work?

Hey, there’s a sign up saying you’re not allowed to surf. When I get surf I’m coming back and seeing if Serena will take that sign as seriously as she did the no sleeping in the king’s bed.

To the balcony!

Um… says Pinkie. You know… I really hope we get to be great friends, Serena… Aw, don’r worry, you’ve been a surprisingly tolerable NPC, especially for a non-gary. If only alt-me would step up for the battling component, though…

We haven’t even seen them yet, but I know I’ll never forget these fireworks! ‘Cause I watched them with you, Serena.

…oh, you mean “great friends”!

And fireworks! I probably should’ve waited for night or something, but still pretty okay.

… Wow! That. Was. AMAZING! I never ever want to forget this, so I’ll keep this memory in an album in my heart!

Cue other guy running up to spikeydialoguebox. And that was my wonderfrou fireworks show for my Frofou!

They react as I do: turning (presumably to glare disapprovingly).

I assume you’re satisfied with that.

OH! But no, it’s not her yelling at him for “rewarding” us with a display for his pokemon. I almost forgot! Yes, the pokeflute. She explains the snorlax business. He tells his guy to get it for us. Surprisingly easy!

It was Shabboneau Castle’s treasure, but I took it as payment for a loan. Oh, so you weren’t just being an asshole. A rich guy like me and a common person like that just didn’t go together. Wait what?

And now we’re being told to always return what we borrow. Again, what? Does he mean we should give it back, or that don’t take out bad loans like that other guy did or else this’ll happen?

I want to make lots of memories on my journey… But I think I’ll try and forget about him… Really? I didn’t think he was particularly bad. Oh well, nice to see the game getting on the hating rich people boat regardless.

You can’t imagine how stressful running this place is for him… says the butler guy. Spoke too soon.

That may be so, but… Oh, that’s right. She remembers to ask about mega evolution. He summarizes the book we read earlier. Then he gives a protect HM and leaves.

The owner of Shabboneau Castle uses to be friends with that guy! Can you believe it? Isn’t that crazy?

I really feel like there’s something lost in translation here. Maybe he’s supposed to be using super douchy honorifics.

Pinkie then explains we’ll give the flute back after waking snorlax. As he’s standing there, we could just give it back directly, but whatever.

So…what’s up with this guy? I don’t particularly like him but I’m not hating him either, he’s just there but Pinkie hates every hair on his head, despite being moved to pity when she first heard he was missing his pokemon.