Jun 28David Rain

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12023081/

Dear St Elmo’s Fire,
Thank you for reviewing. I have gone through the story and I believe I have corrected all of the errors you mentioned accordingly. Thank you for your advice and for your time.
Sincerely,
David Rain

Jun 28Trinabear

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12021626/

Geesh Elmo, are you some sort of grammar proofreader that you have to review on what kinds of icons the writer is using? I guess that must bother you a lot. Personally, I would review on the content, characterization, depth of story, etc., unless of course, there are so many errors peppered thru-out the story such as misspells, age differentiation, and overall horrible language usage that one cannot possibly even read the story at all, much less immerse themselves in it. Of course, I just stop reading the story when it is so poorly written and look at the readers main page to see how old, or young, they are.
You also said that the writer was unprofessional for apologizing beforehand if the reader believes that the story is terrible. Well, just to give you a heads up, and you can quote me if you like, or not, I don’t particularly care, but I am going to hazard a guess and say that this author is NOT a professional writer. Therefore, what you said was just being a tad bit rude and mean. Therefore, you didn’t really give this writer any encouragement at all. You scolded them for apologizing for the story beforehand and gave some (unwanted I am sure) dime store advice about revision, revision, revision until they are comfortable with it. My guess is that they are comfortable with it. That’s why they posted the story in the first place. I don’t think that they were going to turn this story into English class for a grade. Believe me. I have read many fics on this site in which the writers apologize beforehand to the readers if they don’t like the story. I see nothing wrong with that. It tells me that the authors understand how valuable my time, as a reader is, and how sorry they are for wasting it, if I find their story to be terrible. But you just see it as having no faith. I see it as being nervous for putting a bit of themselves to be judged in Fanfictionland. that’s all.
As to wether the writer uses the ‘ icon, along with italics is perhaps, their business, but I could certainly tell the difference between the ‘ icon and the ” icon that they were using. Of course, I do know how to adjust my screen on my computer to enlarge my type………do you???
If you believe that I have come across as being unfair to you for your simple review, then let me ask you these questions, and you must honestly answer this yourself: ” Do you feel that your review was based on the content of the story in question, or did you even read the story and instead, skim thru it for grammatical errors? Do you think that your review was more along the lines of being helpful, or instead was negative and written just to show your superiority over quotation marks and italics? Did you even go past chapter one?” Nah, I didn’t think so…..

Jun 29Vile Slanders

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12021931/

First off, in regards to the swearing.

Decency is an element that defines a certain aspect of a character. Restricting one’s language to politically correct terminology is a choice of the character, which generally denotes a certain moral gravity about the character.

When it comes to profanity, the opposite is also true. In literature, a character is defined by their actions and their interactions. By highlighting a certain moral depravity in a character, by say: zealous over use of profanity, the character assumes a standoffish aspect: which either repels the reader or intrigues the reader.

Now, you clearly do not understand what manner of writer I am. This is perfectly acceptable. The vast majority of writers wish to create likable characters and explore perspectives that good-willed individuals are familiar with. It is not overly rude of you to assume that I am one of the countless advocates of such a common discipline. So allow me to make this perfectly clear for you now:

-I do not take any pleasure in exploring a known land. I am far more intrigued with pursing and understanding the makeup of a reviled country. So: Blue using prodigious amounts of profanity in his introduction, isn’t my attempt at being “clever.”

It’s the character of Blue expressing his ideology in such a manner that the audience can identify his moral standings, and from there: form an opinion of the character as well as the likely avenue of the story in its early phase.

I’m not offended that you disliked my interpretation of the character Blue. Alienating a large portion of my audience is a consequence that I accept whenever I elect to delve into the reviled country.

Second off: the “Butt-raping.”

You are unfamiliar with my interpretation of the world of pokemon. I attempt to inject a heavy dose of reality into my work. After having applied social Darwinism to the very basis of pokemon, the world that developed from such an archetype shares far more in common with contemporary earth than it does with the canon’s fetching fantasy about benevolent monsters.

As such, eleven year old children exploring the hostile world that I envisioned would be subjected to real-world dilemmas and situations. The comment about arboks eating Red, as well as the comment about hobos butt-raping children, is introduced with a casual tone in order to dissuade my audience from the canon’s common lore. If you don’t like, that’s fine. Such is a judgement to be expected whenever one meddles with the established canon’s lore.

And finally, yes, I agree. The one-sided discussion is difficult to follow. The dashes are placed as such to denote a pause in Blue’s dialogue. In the past, when I utilized one-sided introductions, I generally gave the second party an unidentifiable interjection. This is done so that my audience can provide their own predictable input on the constant stream of the first party’s questions, and then my following aim is to provide a broad enough answer from the first party: in order to cover the audience’s expected answer to the first party’s prior question.

The literary technique that I’m attempting to utilize is far from perfect in its execution. I am currently experimenting with a variety of approaches, in an effort to discern which execution is the most comprehensive. This is one such example of my rampant experimentation. And thanks to your input, I should add: I know that this model needs to be re-accessed or completely scrapped altogether.

But on one final note in regards to the length:

Length is irrelevant. The goal of a story is to provide a series of points that add up into metaphor. If I can make a defining point in as little as a thousand words, then I have succeeded in providing a chapter for my story. The point I made in this chapter was to highlight the basic templates of the two main characters, Red and Blue; while also providing hazy details as to the world they live in. In Blue’s case, I feel as though I succeeded in my venture. In Red’s case…

…Well, he’s supposed to be something of a mysterious figure. I tried to incorporate this aura of the unknown in the introduction, but upon reviewing my work: I arrived to the conclusion that I might have overdone the mystery.

Regardless of the innumerable shortcomings this story presents, I still intend to expand on it while following the template that I originally based it upon. So my parting advice to you, as a critic, is:

Remove yourself from your bias of meriting a sterile vernacular. In literature, we are forced to work with fewer elements than other forms of entertainment have access to. In order to capitalize on the sole element that we have access to, one must embrace literature in all of its diverse mechanisms in order to formulate accurate portrayals. Words have power. Some words are designed explicitly for abusing a less than noble power. To shelve these less than noble words in adherence to a societal etiquette is to neuter ourselves of an entire branch of powerful literary tools.

In other words, don’t dismiss the use of profanity in literature as a juvenile and arrogant practice of the author. Rather: apply those same judgements and their intents to the offending character. If you truly wish to provide sound criticism instead of your own personal ethics, you may have to explore material that invokes discomfort. Otherwise, you sound like a self-righteous tool on a self-empowerment trip. It’s not cute, it doesn’t afford you the morale high ground, and it most certainly isn’t clever.

Jun 29AuraCaster

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12023309/

Thank you for the feedback, I knew I would mess some things up in the beginning, but hey, people learn from their mistakes, again thanks for the feedback, I will deffinetly put some of that into play for chapter two.

Jun 29Griffin87443

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12024280/

come on this is my first story I have never done something like this before go easy

Jun 29HarbingerOfDread

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12024560/

Thank you. I did not know this and I will try to fix this at my earliest convenience.

Jun 29Vinylshadow

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12024587/

I’ll keep that in mind and make the changes eventually, thank you

As for Mewtwo’s characterization, I’m not going for 100% canon compliance, so it’s likely going to be all over the place

Jun 30Calem Phoenix

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/11995911/

Oh, they are? Well…
I didn’t look at the A Guidelines before posting this, that’s why. I’ll delete it.

Jun 30SlothFanfiction

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12025780/

Well thank you for the constructive criticism. Wasn’t actually a troll fanfic though. I will use your advice in future posts though.