[17] The Other Pokereviews, Part 112

One really great story featuring real-world mythology and an extremely well-written pokemon POV, and otherwise nothing of note.

Anime count: 11

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12951976/1/gay-fanfic

Try harder.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12952037/1/The-First-Day-In-Alola

Hi! I’m doing a round of reviews around the site, hoping to help give people constructive criticism instead of just vague appreciation or flames. If you do choose to take my advice I will be glad, but you don’t have to feel like I’m making demands of you. I usually try to point out things that could help with future stories, so they can be useful even if you don’t want to edit the current story. Feel free to disagree with my interpretations and don’t be afraid to let me know why. I will be pointing out grammatical errors as well; please understand that I am not trying to be judgmental, but that I honestly believe corrections can improve the story.

Titling the story in the document itself looks a little weird.

You should separate your author notes with a horizontal line; otherwise, they look like part of the story.

[“Ahh, could anything be more soothing? The first evening spent under Alola’s calm moon! I feel like I could stay out here all night!” Mom thought to herself]

This sounds a bit strange – only Elio would call her “Mom”, yet if this is showing her thoughts, the perspective is either omniscient or her own. Surely her name isn’t “Mom”?

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like trainer or professor or gym.

[petting it on it’s head]

You want “its”. “It’s” always means “it is”.

You’re formatting dialogue incorrectly. Dialogue is written as [“Hello,” she said] or [“Hello!” she said], never [“Hello.” She said] or [“Hello”, she said] or [“Hello” she said]. This is because dialogue and speech tags are considered to be part of the same sentence, so they have to flow together. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb. In that case, the second part IS considered a separate sentence, so it’s written as [“Hello.” She grinned], never [“Hello,” she grinned]. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like “laughed” or “giggled” is in the second category. (“Speak” is also not a speech verb.) Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s [“Hi,” she said. “This is it.”] not [“Hi,” she said, “this is it.”] or [“Hi,” she said “this is it.”] And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s [“Hi. This,” she said, “is it.”] The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks (or single quotes) with thoughts. This is because quotation marks for thoughts make it look like your characters are talking out loud, which is confusing to the reader.

[“I think it’s something like 4am. We’re in a different time zone now, so I’m not really sure.” Mom admitted.

“So, Elio… Are you pumped to meet some Alolan Pokémon?” she asked.]

You also only need to make a new paragraph when there’s a change in speaker, so these lines can go in the same paragraph.

[“Cousin? And why do you not have a shirt on?” Elio thought to himself.

“You gotta be tired after that long trip all the way out here to Alola! You feelin’ any jet lag?” Kukui asked. Elio nodded a yes to the man.]

It’s odd that you’re having Elio behave like the silent protagonist of the games when you have him talking in the extracanonical scenes. It’s fine to change the canon scenes a little to let the protagonist converse.

[And why does he keep calling me cousin?]

I’m… honestly not sure why you keep harping on this so much. It’s a general if slightly outdated term of endearment, just like how we call our friends “bro” nowadays.

Why doesn’t Elio think of releasing Stella to save himself from the fall?

This is decently-written, but there’s not much here. You basically just recount the events we’re already familiar with, and your major addition doesn’t actually change much. I could understand this as the intro to a longer story where Stella’s presence will have an influence on the plot, but as a standalone it feels a little empty. Novelizations are strongest when they provide new perspectives and details on the events we’re familiar with; if you’d like an example, the story “Another Verse” does this well.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12952051/1/Captain-s-Daughter

Blocked, previously reviewed. Anime.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12952052/1/Changed

Blocked, don’t recognize them.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12952066/1/Pokemon-Rewrite

Blocked, don’t recognize them. Anime.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12952102/1/Ash-the-Aura-Master

Blocked, don’t recognize them. Anime.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12952235/1/chains-of-the-warlord

Your title needs to be fully capitalized.

Not using paragraphs makes me not want to read your story.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12952362/1/Aeon

I don’t watch the anime, so I’m not going to be able to review this story on content. Please tag your story as anime fic to avoid this problem. Find your story under “Manage Stories” and select it from the dropdown menu that says “World: Any” in the “Category” section.

[You may also leave suggestions in the comments.]

That is review-baiting, which is banned on this site. If you want suggestions, you have to take them through PMs, not reviews.

You should separate your author notes with a horizontal line; otherwise, they look like part of the story.

Titling chapters in the story itself looks kinda weird; the dropdown menu should suffice.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like trainer or professor or gym.

[“Samuel,” Delia’s voice, cold and quiet, instantly cut through Oak’s complaining.]

When narration doesn’t contain a speaking verb, it’s a separate sentence and is punctuated accordingly. So this should be [“Samuel.” Delia’s voice, cold and quiet, instantly cut through Oak’s complaining.]

Blocked after this.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12952386/1/guidance

Hi! I’m doing a round of reviews around the site, hoping to help give people constructive criticism instead of just vague appreciation or flames. If you do choose to take my advice I will be glad, but you don’t have to feel like I’m making demands of you. I usually try to point out things that could help with future stories, so they can be useful even if you don’t want to edit the current story. Feel free to disagree with my interpretations and don’t be afraid to let me know why. I will be pointing out grammatical errors as well; please understand that I am not trying to be judgmental, but that I honestly believe corrections can improve the story.

I appreciate that you’re not capitalizing pokemon.

You should separate your author notes with a horizontal line; otherwise, they look like part of the story.

Titling chapters in the story itself looks kinda weird; the dropdown menu should suffice.

[The human approaches you again, with t behind her.]

Something seems to have gone missing here.

This is really good. I love stuff from pokemon perspectives, and you do an amazing job of depicting how the vulpix’s thoughts are alien to us and also how alien the humans’ behavior is to the vulpix. I particularly love all the notes about communication and dialect subtleties, as well as the casual magic being thrown around. This looks really interesting.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12952439/1/Black-and-White-Saga-Trainers-Dragons

Blocked, previously encountered. Anime.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12952473/1/The-Adventure

Hi! I’m doing a round of reviews around the site, hoping to help give people constructive criticism instead of just vague appreciation or flames. If you do choose to take my advice I will be glad, but you don’t have to feel like I’m making demands of you. I usually try to point out things that could help with future stories, so they can be useful even if you don’t want to edit the current story. Feel free to disagree with my interpretations and don’t be afraid to let me know why. I will be pointing out grammatical errors as well; please understand that I am not trying to be judgmental, but that I honestly believe corrections can improve the story.

You might want to pick a more original title. There are quite literally thousands of titles in this category that are variations on, if not identical to, this one.

[A young girl, Ella, sees something she was not meant to see. Thus, kicking off an adventure that will shake the entire world.]

You may also want to pick a more original summary. This could describe literally thousands of stories in this category alone. What makes your story unique?

[Every step brings you closer; every obstacle skirted around one less in your way. Then, you see him; a shifty rat of a man]

This is improper semicolon usage. As a general rule of thumb, you should be able to replace semicolons with periods and still have the resulting sentences make sense; for instance, what I’m doing here. You want a comma for the first semicolon here, and a full colon for the second.

I’m not sure why you’re using second-person for the dream when it seems to be from Ella’s perspective. First-person seems more appropriate for that.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like trainer or professor or gym.

You need to split this into more paragraphs. Each paragraph should correspond to a subject, not just a POV change. POV changes should also have an additional indicator beyond just a paragraph break.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12952606/1/Don-t-be-Fooled

Hi! I’m doing a round of reviews around the site, hoping to help give people constructive criticism instead of just vague appreciation or flames. If you do choose to take my advice I will be glad, but you don’t have to feel like I’m making demands of you. I usually try to point out things that could help with future stories, so they can be useful even if you don’t want to edit the current story. Feel free to disagree with my interpretations and don’t be afraid to let me know why. I will be pointing out grammatical errors as well; please understand that I am not trying to be judgmental, but that I honestly believe corrections can improve the story.

I appreciate that you’re not capitalizing pokemon.

I’m not too fond of using the term “legendaries” in fic. It’s very much a fandom term, as it’s a shorthand for the canon term “legendary pokemon”. It’s also much too general given the actual range of power of legendaries. Legendaries like latios seem to be merely rare beasts, while legendaries like Palkia are godlike.

[all ready charged]

In this context you want “already”, one word.

This is a bit short for a first chapter, but still intriguing. I like stuff about uncontrollable legendaries, and I’m pleased to see Dawn got promoted to a full professor.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12952980/1/Silver-Eyes

Blocked, don’t recognize them.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12953217/1/Whoopsie-Doodle

Blocked, don’t recognize them.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12953242/1/A-Wishmaker-Reborn

Hi! I’m doing a round of reviews around the site, hoping to help give people constructive criticism instead of just vague appreciation or flames. If you do choose to take my advice I will be glad, but you don’t have to feel like I’m making demands of you. I usually try to point out things that could help with future stories, so they can be useful even if you don’t want to edit the current story. Feel free to disagree with my interpretations and don’t be afraid to let me know why. I will be pointing out grammatical errors as well; please understand that I am not trying to be judgmental, but that I honestly believe corrections can improve the story.

[A Human dies and is reborn as jirachi]

That’s a bit vague for a summary. What implications does this have? What is the human going to do as Jirachi? What is the story actually about?

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or human… well, apparently you are. But you *shouldn’t* capitalize animal or human or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. If you’re interpreting the legendaries as singular entities, their names fall under this category. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like trainer or professor or gym.

[days ago]

This isn’t a video game. You should establish time and place through context or narration. Non-general scene transitions are jarring.

All sentences need to end in punctuation, not just when you feel like it. Put a bare minimum of effort into this.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12953295/1/A-Pokemon-Story-Sinnoh-Adventures

Hi! I’m doing a round of reviews around the site, hoping to help give people constructive criticism instead of just vague appreciation or flames. If you do choose to take my advice I will be glad, but you don’t have to feel like I’m making demands of you. I usually try to point out things that could help with future stories, so they can be useful even if you don’t want to edit the current story. Feel free to disagree with my interpretations and don’t be afraid to let me know why. I will be pointing out grammatical errors as well; please understand that I am not trying to be judgmental, but that I honestly believe corrections can improve the story.

You might want to pick a more original title. There are quite literally thousands of titles in this category that are variations on, if not identical to, this one.

I appreciate that you’re not capitalizing pokemon.

[I really wanted a Chimchar.]

You did so here, however.

[I can’t believe you’re going to start your adventure today..]

Ellipses are always three dots, never more or less.

[Come on mom]

When a title (such as “mom” or “dad”) is used in place of a name, it’s capitalized like one.

[“I’m sorry to inform you both that the three main starter pokemon were already grabbed yesterday.”]

Professors handing out starters actually isn’t a thing outside of Johto and Kalos. In all the other games, you get the starters by accident or through a favor because the professor knows you personally. It’s possible Emily’s mom worked something out with Rowan in advance, but you should explain that if so.

[looked like it costed more money that I could even dream of]

You want “cost” in this context.

The battle here is decently written, but this overall feels very empty. You haven’t changed much about the standard game opening, and there wasn’t much there to begin with. The thing is, while fighting for gym badges is exciting to play, it’s not as fun to read about when you can’t participate in the battles yourself. You should think about what details of your own you want to add to flesh the story out – a different starter isn’t really enough to carry a whole journey on its own, especially as Emily gets more pokemon and the starter becomes less relevant.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12953299/1/Artie-s-First-Time

Blocked, don’t recognize them.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12953311/1/Earn-there-trust

Your title needs to be fully capitalized.

You want “their” in your title. “There” refers to a location.

This is a mess. You need to try harder. If you have trouble with grammar, you can get a beta reader to help you. Start looking here: fanfiction (d o t) net/topic/11834/42724996/1/Beta-Signup

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12953746/1/Ash-s-Fun-Adventure

I don’t watch the anime, so I’m not going to be able to review this story on content. Please tag your story as anime fic to avoid this problem. Find your story under “Manage Stories” and select it from the dropdown menu that says “World: Any” in the “Category” section.

[well fun is something that is interpret it based on his views]

I genuinely don’t understand what you were trying to say here.

You should separate your author notes with a horizontal line; otherwise, they look like part of the story.

Titling chapters in the story itself looks kinda weird; the dropdown menu should suffice.

[He smirked as he pulled her strapless dress down and saw her large breast free from it.]

Does she only have one breast?

I don’t see what this has to do with Pokemon. If you want to write original characters, just do that instead of stapling canon characters’ faces onto theirs.

Blocked after this.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12953755/1/And-The-World-Falls-To-Ash

I don’t watch the anime, so I’m not going to be able to review this story on content. Please tag your story as anime fic to avoid this problem. Find your story under “Manage Stories” and select it from the dropdown menu that says “World: Any” in the “Category” section.

I guarantee you do not need a speech key. If basic actions aren’t obvious from context, something has gone more wrong than a key can fix.

You should separate your author notes with a horizontal line; otherwise, they look like part of the story.

[Pallet Town]

This isn’t a video game. You should establish time and place through context or narration. Non-general scene transitions are jarring.

You’re formatting dialogue incorrectly. Dialogue is written as [“Hello,” she said] or [“Hello!” she said], never [“Hello.” She said] or [“Hello”, she said] or [“Hello” she said]. This is because dialogue and speech tags are considered to be part of the same sentence, so they have to flow together. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb. In that case, the second part IS considered a separate sentence, so it’s written as [“Hello.” She grinned], never [“Hello,” she grinned]. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like “laughed” or “giggled” is in the second category. (“Speak” is also not a speech verb.) Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s [“Hi,” she said. “This is it.”] not [“Hi,” she said, “this is it.”] or [“Hi,” she said “this is it.”] And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s [“Hi. This,” she said, “is it.”] The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks (or single quotes) with thoughts. This is because quotation marks for thoughts make it look like your characters are talking out loud, which is confusing to the reader.

Generally, this is a mess. I should not have to tell you that sentences need to end in punctuation. Put a bare minimum of effort into this.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12953842/1/Legend-Never-Die

I don’t watch the anime, so I’m not going to be able to review this story on content. Please tag your story as anime fic to avoid this problem. Find your story under “Manage Stories” and select it from the dropdown menu that says “World: Any” in the “Category” section.

I appreciate that you’re not capitalizing pokemon.

You’re formatting dialogue incorrectly. Dialogue is written as [“Hello,” she said] or [“Hello!” she said], never [“Hello.” She said] or [“Hello”, she said] or [“Hello” she said]. This is because dialogue and speech tags are considered to be part of the same sentence, so they have to flow together. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb. In that case, the second part IS considered a separate sentence, so it’s written as [“Hello.” She grinned], never [“Hello,” she grinned]. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like “laughed” or “giggled” is in the second category. (“Speak” is also not a speech verb.) Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s [“Hi,” she said. “This is it.”] not [“Hi,” she said, “this is it.”] or [“Hi,” she said “this is it.”] And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s [“Hi. This,” she said, “is it.”] The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks (or single quotes) with thoughts. This is because quotation marks for thoughts make it look like your characters are talking out loud, which is confusing to the reader.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12953960/1/Pok%C3%A9mon-Primal-and-Umbra-Re-Mixed

Hi! I’m doing a round of reviews around the site, hoping to help give people constructive criticism instead of just vague appreciation or flames. If you do choose to take my advice I will be glad, but you don’t have to feel like I’m making demands of you. I usually try to point out things that could help with future stories, so they can be useful even if you don’t want to edit the current story. Feel free to disagree with my interpretations and don’t be afraid to let me know why. I will be pointing out grammatical errors as well; please understand that I am not trying to be judgmental, but that I honestly believe corrections can improve the story.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like trainer or professor or gym.

[The scene where Volcanixx, the fiery moth-like Pokémon and Blizzardon, the icy tiger-like Pokémon clash against each others and the narrator tells the story of the world of Pokémon.]

Uh… this is prose, not a movie script.

This is very confusing and hard to follow. I recommend getting a beta reader to help you. Start looking here: fanfiction (d o t) net/topic/11834/42724996/1/Beta-Signup

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12950990/1/Moonstone

I don’t watch the anime, so I’m not going to be able to review this story on content. Please tag your story as anime fic to avoid this problem. Find your story under “Manage Stories” and select it from the dropdown menu that says “World: Any” in the “Category” section.

I appreciate that you’re not capitalizing pokemon.

You’re formatting dialogue incorrectly. Dialogue is written as [“Hello,” she said] or [“Hello!” she said], never [“Hello.” She said] or [“Hello”, she said] or [“Hello” she said]. This is because dialogue and speech tags are considered to be part of the same sentence, so they have to flow together. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb. In that case, the second part IS considered a separate sentence, so it’s written as [“Hello.” She grinned], never [“Hello,” she grinned]. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like “laughed” or “giggled” is in the second category. (“Speak” is also not a speech verb.) Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s [“Hi,” she said. “This is it.”] not [“Hi,” she said, “this is it.”] or [“Hi,” she said “this is it.”] And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s [“Hi. This,” she said, “is it.”] The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks (or single quotes) with thoughts. This is because quotation marks for thoughts make it look like your characters are talking out loud, which is confusing to the reader.

You’re overusing uncommon speech verbs. Don’t be afraid to use said; lovely word, won’t bite, usually more fitting than whatever fancy verb you’re using in its place. You may have heard to avoid said because it’s so bland and boring, but that’s actually its greatest strength. Nonstandard speech verbs stick out; they’re used for emphasis, when how something is said is important to the story and you want the reader to stop and take notice. If you use that emphasis for every single line, the reader will become oversaturated, lessening the impact when you actually do want emphasis on a speech tag.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12954808/1/Do-No-Harm

Hi! I’m doing a round of reviews around the site, hoping to help give people constructive criticism instead of just vague appreciation or flames. If you do choose to take my advice I will be glad, but you don’t have to feel like I’m making demands of you. I usually try to point out things that could help with future stories, so they can be useful even if you don’t want to edit the current story. Feel free to disagree with my interpretations and don’t be afraid to let me know why. I will be pointing out grammatical errors as well; please understand that I am not trying to be judgmental, but that I honestly believe corrections can improve the story.

I appreciate that you’re not capitalizing pokemon.

You should separate your author notes with a horizontal line; otherwise, they look like part of the story.

[They were no longer seen as animals who needed to be monitored. Some people’s bonds with pokemon grew closer because of this. Others saw this as an opportunity for profit, the laws protecting pokemon grew lax.]

For example…? That’s a really significant statement, you shouldn’t just cut it off without further explanation. In order to gauge how bad this is, we need to know exactly what the state was before (canon is unclear but does not seem to afford pokemon many protections) and exactly what laws were changed. Specifics matter a great deal here.

[otherwise i’d be double checking my bag every 10 feet, not that i’d need to bring anything with me]

Proofread.

[I opened my eyes to see an audino holding me up teary-eyed.]

This needs a comma before “teary-eyed”.

[It’s hunger and been replaced]

Typo on the “it’s”, and I think you meant “had”, not “and”.

This is pretty insubstantial for a first chapter. You very briefly mention the state of the world and then have a single scene with the protagonist with little context to help us understand what’s going on. I don’t know who this person is, what their plans are, or where they’re going from here, and that means I have no idea what the story is going to be about. Remember that your first chapter is your opportunity to hook your reader – it should be an effective preview of what the overall story will look like.

The part that interests me here is the worldbuilding, but you don’t give enough information for me to get a good idea for what’s going on. Why would treating pokemon like people lead to worse treatment than the current setup of ripping them from their homes and forcing them to fight in blood sports? When the bar is already set so low, it’s hard to see how mutual communication would make things worse.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12955900/1/Where-Are-You-Dad

I don’t watch the anime, so I’m not going to be able to review this story on content. Please tag your story as anime fic to avoid this problem. Find your story under “Manage Stories” and select it from the dropdown menu that says “World: Any” in the “Category” section.

I appreciate that you’re not capitalizing pokemon.

You don’t need to label POVs when they’re obvious from context.

You’re formatting dialogue incorrectly. Dialogue is written as [“Hello,” she said] or [“Hello!” she said], never [“Hello.” She said] or [“Hello”, she said] or [“Hello” she said]. This is because dialogue and speech tags are considered to be part of the same sentence, so they have to flow together. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb. In that case, the second part IS considered a separate sentence, so it’s written as [“Hello.” She grinned], never [“Hello,” she grinned]. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like “laughed” or “giggled” is in the second category. (“Speak” is also not a speech verb.) Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s [“Hi,” she said. “This is it.”] not [“Hi,” she said, “this is it.”] or [“Hi,” she said “this is it.”] And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s [“Hi. This,” she said, “is it.”] The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks (or single quotes) with thoughts. This is because quotation marks for thoughts make it look like your characters are talking out loud, which is confusing to the reader.

[TIME SKIP:WHEN THEY ARE AT KALOS]

This isn’t a video game. You should establish time and place through context or narration. Non-general scene transitions are jarring.

2 Comments

  1. Negrek says:
    guidance is really good! I’d definitely recommend that one to anybody who enjoys Pokémon POV stories or OC journeyfics.



    2
    1. APen says:

      Rec seconded! I love discovering good new stories from these reviews.




      2

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