A neat take on the Giratina battle in Platinum, an OT fic that actually looks decent, and a story about pokemon rescuing abused trainer pokemon where the pokemon all act like humans.

Anime count: 14

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13002226/1/Weird-circumstances

Hi! I’m doing a round of reviews around the site, hoping to help give people constructive criticism instead of just vague appreciation or flames. If you do choose to take my advice I will be glad, but you don’t have to feel like I’m making demands of you. I usually try to point out things that could help with future stories, so they can be useful even if you don’t want to edit the current story. Feel free to disagree with my interpretations and don’t be afraid to let me know why. I will be pointing out grammatical errors as well; please understand that I am not trying to be judgmental, but that I honestly believe corrections can improve the story.

Your title needs to be fully capitalized.

It’s better if you separate your author notes with a horizontal line; otherwise, they look like part of the story. You can do this through the in-site editor.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like trainer or professor or gym.

[she muttered as she trudged through the sludge, her hand gripped tightly around an unseen object]

Unseen by whom? This chapter consistently appears to be narrated from her perspective, so it’s a little strange to see this bit that implies an objective observer.

[his hair blonde]

You want “blond”. “Blonde” is the feminine form.

It seems odd to me that she’d notice the details of his face before his shirt, especially when the logo of the Rocket uniform is so blatant; that seems like the first thing someone would notice.

[he wore no gloves, his pants foot loosely, and his boots were short and black.]

This is a little awkward; my mind wants to extend the parallel structure to “his boots” as well, and I had to read this twice to get it. This might be better rephrased, or just biting the bullet and saying “he wore his pants foot loosely” even though it’s repetitive.

[“Storm’s not gonna stop for a while. Might as well get comfy,” he spoke again]

“Spoke” is, ironically, not a speech verb. It’s okay to use “said” instead.

[The Fearow he had leant her to fly]

I think you meant “lent” – “leant” isn’t being recognized by my spellcheck.

This is a pretty good opening. I like that the protagonist has an established career and we’re starting in the middle of things. I don’t really get how quickly she concludes Jack is an okay guy, though – he only gives her his name and a promise that he won’t attack her, both of which could easily be lies, and then insults her. All in all his behavior pings to me as a dangerous criminal who wants to *appear* human and releateable to make the mark let down their guard. It would be clearer if we got more of Alyssa’s chain of reasoning here, especially when it does seem perfectly logical for her to be prejudiced against all Rockets if she had a traumatic experience with them.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13002095/1/Hell

Blocked, previously encountered. Anime.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13002077/1/Blood-call

Hi! I’m doing a round of reviews around the site, hoping to help give people constructive criticism instead of just vague appreciation or flames. If you do choose to take my advice I will be glad, but you don’t have to feel like I’m making demands of you. I usually try to point out things that could help with future stories, so they can be useful even if you don’t want to edit the current story. Feel free to disagree with my interpretations and don’t be afraid to let me know why. I will be pointing out grammatical errors as well; please understand that I am not trying to be judgmental, but that I honestly believe corrections can improve the story.

Your title needs to be fully capitalized.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like trainer or professor or gym.

It’s better if you separate your author notes with a horizontal line; otherwise, they look like part of the story. You can do this through the in-site editor.

You’re formatting dialogue incorrectly. Dialogue is written as [“Hello,” she said] or [“Hello!” she said], never [“Hello.” She said] or [“Hello”, she said] or [“Hello” she said]. This is because dialogue and speech tags are considered to be part of the same sentence, so they have to flow together. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb. In that case, the second part IS considered a separate sentence, so it’s written as [“Hello.” She grinned], never [“Hello,” she grinned]. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like “laughed” or “giggled” is in the second category. (“Speak” is also not a speech verb.) Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s [“Hi,” she said. “This is it.”] not [“Hi,” she said, “this is it.”] or [“Hi,” she said “this is it.”] And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s [“Hi. This,” she said, “is it.”] The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks (or single quotes) with thoughts. This is because quotation marks for thoughts make it look like your characters are talking out loud, which is confusing to the reader.

This is really confusing and hard to follow. You need to read up on punctuation and sentence structure and/or get a beta reader to help you. Start looking here: fanfiction (d o t) net/topic/11834/42724996/1/Beta-Signup

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13002023/1/The-Harbinger-of-Destruction

Blocked, I think I recognize them but they have no other stories listed. Anime.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13001606/1/Pok%C3%A9mon-Aura-wars-4-Pok%C3%A9pocalypse

Blocked, don’t recognize them. Anime.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13001589/1/Ashlynn-Yue-Mew-Ketchum-s-Journey

Blocked, don’t recognize them. Anime.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13001416/1/Raindrops

Centering all text makes it difficult to read.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13001387/1/Beginning-of-the-legend

Covered by Talarc. I am not blocked.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13001351/1/It-s-Not-Always-Black-and-White

Hi! I’m doing a round of reviews around the site, hoping to help give people constructive criticism instead of just vague appreciation or flames. If you do choose to take my advice I will be glad, but you don’t have to feel like I’m making demands of you. I usually try to point out things that could help with future stories, so they can be useful even if you don’t want to edit the current story. Feel free to disagree with my interpretations and don’t be afraid to let me know why. I will be pointing out grammatical errors as well; please understand that I am not trying to be judgmental, but that I honestly believe corrections can improve the story.

[Mneme knew that when she and her friends, Bianca and Cheren, received their first Pokémon, they would be going on a journey together. What she didn’t know was the events and emotions that she and her Pokémon would go through. She knew that she would meet new people and Pokémon; she just didn’t know how…interesting they would be.]

So pokemon aren’t people?

This is a little vague as a summary; it could describe hundreds if not thousands of stories in this category. I can’t tell if this is to be a straight novelization or if there’s going to be a twist, and in either case what the theme of the story is going to be. What about the B/W story appeals to you? What parts do you plan to focus on and explore?

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like trainer or professor or gym.

Titling chapters in the story itself looks kinda weird; the dropdown menu should suffice.

[Something about that voice combined with those feelings just feels…wrong, even without the fact that it is all in my head.]

This confuses me a little. If she’s lucid dreaming and thinks this is all in her head, why does she react with such genuine panic and terror to the voices?

[It doesn’t matter if I have been having that dream more often recently, but dreams are so surreal, and I still want to figure out who that voice is and what they mean by “stone”. What is so important about it?]

And then this, also – this only really makes sense if she thinks the dreams are caused by an outside force. If it’s just her brain making up nonsense, it shouldn’t matter what the stone is.

[“OK,” Bianca says]

It’s written “okay”, four letters. It is not an abbreviation for something else, nor is it pronounced “ock”, therefore it should never be written as OK, Ok, O.K. or ok.

I do have to say that “Mneme” is a very strange name to see alongside “Cheren” and “Bianca”. I understand that it’s likely your name/your character’s name, but it might be better to change Cheren and Bianca’s names to match, or handwave it as Mneme being an immigrant to explain why she has such a different name from the people in the same town.

Your description is perfectly decent, and if this was original fiction I think this could be a fine opening (if a little on the short side). But the thing is… we already know all of this. Your readers are already familiar with the characters and the game’s opening. It can be interesting to revisit canon scenes if you use them to illustrate a specific point or take an unusual perspective (chapter 29 of the story Unoriginality is a great example of this), but I don’t really see that here. The interpretations of Cheren and Bianca established here seem pretty standard, and other than the dream no significant events have been added. It’s okay to skim over details we already know; especially early on, it’s important to get to the meat of the story. What are the parts you’re really looking forward to writing? What grabbed you about B/W’s story enough to make you want to novelize it?

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13001259/1/absol-in-the-forest

I should not need to tell you that sentences need to be capitalized. Put a bare minimum of effort into this.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13001171/1/Prof-Hazel-files-Aura

Blocked, previously reviewed. Anime.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13001095/1/The-Master-of-Grass-Pokemon

I don’t watch the anime, so I’m not going to be able to review this story on content. Please tag your story as anime fic to avoid this problem. Find your story under “Manage Stories” and select it from the dropdown menu that says “World: Any” in the “Category” section.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like trainer or professor or gym.

You’re formatting dialogue incorrectly. Dialogue is written as [“Hello,” she said] or [“Hello!” she said], never [“Hello.” She said] or [“Hello”, she said] or [“Hello” she said]. This is because dialogue and speech tags are considered to be part of the same sentence, so they have to flow together. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb. In that case, the second part IS considered a separate sentence, so it’s written as [“Hello.” She grinned], never [“Hello,” she grinned]. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like “laughed” or “giggled” is in the second category. (“Speak” is also not a speech verb.) Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s [“Hi,” she said. “This is it.”] not [“Hi,” she said, “this is it.”] or [“Hi,” she said “this is it.”] And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s [“Hi. This,” she said, “is it.”] The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks (or single quotes) with thoughts. This is because quotation marks for thoughts make it look like your characters are talking out loud, which is confusing to the reader.

It’s better if you separate your author notes with a horizontal line; otherwise, they look like part of the story. You can do this through the in-site editor.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13001054/1/Revenge

Blocked, don’t recognize them.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13001030/1/Opportunity-in-the-Grass

Blocked, don’t recognize them.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13000798/1/A-Boy-And-His-Meteor

I don’t watch the anime, so I’m not going to be able to review this story on content. Please tag your story as anime fic to avoid this problem. Find your story under “Manage Stories” and select it from the dropdown menu that says “World: Any” in the “Category” section.

The legendaries are genderless in canon. Automatically referring to them as male is sexist.

Using hyphens without spaces in place of dashes is confusing. To avoid people thinking you’re hyphenating words, you should put spaces around the hyphen, or use a double dash.

You’re formatting dialogue incorrectly. Dialogue is written as [“Hello,” she said] or [“Hello!” she said], never [“Hello.” She said] or [“Hello”, she said] or [“Hello” she said]. This is because dialogue and speech tags are considered to be part of the same sentence, so they have to flow together. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb. In that case, the second part IS considered a separate sentence, so it’s written as [“Hello.” She grinned], never [“Hello,” she grinned]. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like “laughed” or “giggled” is in the second category. (“Speak” is also not a speech verb.) Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s [“Hi,” she said. “This is it.”] not [“Hi,” she said, “this is it.”] or [“Hi,” she said “this is it.”] And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s [“Hi. This,” she said, “is it.”] The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks (or single quotes) with thoughts. This is because quotation marks for thoughts make it look like your characters are talking out loud, which is confusing to the reader.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13000584/1/The-Farm

Blocked, don’t recognize them.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13000528/1/The-Journey-of-Dale-Gaines

Hi! I’m doing a round of reviews around the site, hoping to help give people constructive criticism instead of just vague appreciation or flames. If you do choose to take my advice I will be glad, but you don’t have to feel like I’m making demands of you. I usually try to point out things that could help with future stories, so they can be useful even if you don’t want to edit the current story. Feel free to disagree with my interpretations and don’t be afraid to let me know why. I will be pointing out grammatical errors as well; please understand that I am not trying to be judgmental, but that I honestly believe corrections can improve the story.

[Dale Gaines is a new trainer whose journey is to help out his family and friends who live all around the Obrya region. How will it go? What friends will he make? How will his pokemon team hold up? That is all for him to find out on his journey.]

This could describe literally thousands of stories in this category. Summaries should tell us more than just the genre. What’s your plot?

It’s better if you separate your author notes with a horizontal line; otherwise, they look like part of the story. You can do this through the in-site editor.

[While some wait until they are the right age and go out and catch their own pokemon and use it as their own. But most often whatever way you go about trainer go out and explore the world with their pokemon.]

These are both sentence fragments.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like trainer or professor or gym.

You’re formatting dialogue incorrectly. Dialogue is written as [“Hello,” she said] or [“Hello!” she said], never [“Hello.” She said] or [“Hello”, she said] or [“Hello” she said]. This is because dialogue and speech tags are considered to be part of the same sentence, so they have to flow together. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb. In that case, the second part IS considered a separate sentence, so it’s written as [“Hello.” She grinned], never [“Hello,” she grinned]. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like “laughed” or “giggled” is in the second category. (“Speak” is also not a speech verb.) Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s [“Hi,” she said. “This is it.”] not [“Hi,” she said, “this is it.”] or [“Hi,” she said “this is it.”] And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s [“Hi. This,” she said, “is it.”] The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks (or single quotes) with thoughts. This is because quotation marks for thoughts make it look like your characters are talking out loud, which is confusing to the reader.

[Ok let’s look at this through each pokemon.]

It’s written “okay”, four letters. It is not an abbreviation for something else, nor is it pronounced “ock”, therefore it should never be written as OK, Ok, O.K. or ok.

This is very oddly written. I feel like Dale is reading a story to me rather than experiencing it himself. I understand the impulse to explain as many background details to the reader as possible to set the stage, but it’s actually better to jump straight into things. What’s really interesting about stories is the plot, action, and characters, so we’ll get most invested if we see those things in action straight off. Once you have readers hooked, then they’ll lap up all the background information you want to give. But you need to make people ask the questions before you give the answers.

However, even aside from that, your protagonist feels very robotic in the way he is able to emotionlessly analyze every pokemon for the optimal choice. People making perfectly logical choices all the time generally aren’t interesting to read about. I think you could do more to develop his personality and give him some more wrinkles.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12999864/1/Diversity

Blocked, don’t recognize them. Anime.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12999622/1/But

Blocked despite claiming they want criticism. Don’t recognize them.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12999431/1/Forbidden-Love

Blocked, don’t recognize them.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12999025/1/A-Ranger-s-Beginning

Hi! I’m doing a round of reviews around the site, hoping to help give people constructive criticism instead of just vague appreciation or flames. If you do choose to take my advice I will be glad, but you don’t have to feel like I’m making demands of you. I usually try to point out things that could help with future stories, so they can be useful even if you don’t want to edit the current story. Feel free to disagree with my interpretations and don’t be afraid to let me know why. I will be pointing out grammatical errors as well; please understand that I am not trying to be judgmental, but that I honestly believe corrections can improve the story.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like trainer or professor or gym.

[Follow Terence Carter, an 18 year old Pokemon Ranger as he travels Hoenn determined to be the world’s greatest Pokemon Ranger. Along the way, he meets new friends and Pokemon as well as fulfilling his Ranger duties. Look forward to the adventure to come!]

Summaries should tell us more than just the genre. What’s your plot?

[“Up and at ’em,” I throw the shades open]

When narration doesn’t describe how dialogue is said, it’s its own sentence and is punctuated accordingly. So this should be [“Up and at ’em.” I throw the shades open]

[I’m back in my home region of Hoenn, determined to become the greatest Pokemon Ranger in the world. What better way to do that then to challenge the Hoenn League and grow stronger alongside my Pokemon.]

Uh… a lot of ways? This is like saying you plan to become the best veterinarian by winning a dog show. The relevant skills are tangentially related, but there isn’t actually a lot of overlap. It’s alright if you share the games’ love of battling and want to write a story about that, but the cool thing about rangers is that they show that battling isn’t the only acceptable skillset or career path. Is there a reason why you didn’t want to use a normal trainer for this role? What is his ranger-ness going to mean for the story?

[The other, still angry continues it’s attack.]

You want “its”. “It’s” always means “it is”.

It’s better if you separate your author notes with a horizontal line; otherwise, they look like part of the story. You can do this through the in-site editor.

This felt bland, honestly. Neither of the main characters capture my interest; they don’t appear to have any particular motivations or personality flaws that could add stakes to the adventure. If you do have more complex things planned, it might be a good idea to bump them up a little or even start the story there, with Terence and Arin as established trainers. Remember that your audience is already familiar with the games and their format, so you don’t need to cover every moment of the standard journey if it’s not relevant to the greater plot.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12998958/1/The-Auspiciousness-of-Brendan

Hi! I’m doing a round of reviews around the site, hoping to help give people constructive criticism instead of just vague appreciation or flames. If you do choose to take my advice I will be glad, but you don’t have to feel like I’m making demands of you. I usually try to point out things that could help with future stories, so they can be useful even if you don’t want to edit the current story. Feel free to disagree with my interpretations and don’t be afraid to let me know why. I will be pointing out grammatical errors as well; please understand that I am not trying to be judgmental, but that I honestly believe corrections can improve the story.

[Restarting a save file was nothing new for Brendan he’d done it hundreds of times over and over again it was second nature to him. This time was different though he didn’t lose his memories like he usually did in each reset. This time after waking up he’s realized that he’s in a reset but wants to find out why things have been playing out differently than they usually do.]

These sentences are all run-ons. You need to add commas.

You’re formatting dialogue incorrectly. Dialogue is written as [“Hello,” she said] or [“Hello!” she said], never [“Hello.” She said] or [“Hello”, she said] or [“Hello” she said]. This is because dialogue and speech tags are considered to be part of the same sentence, so they have to flow together. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb. In that case, the second part IS considered a separate sentence, so it’s written as [“Hello.” She grinned], never [“Hello,” she grinned]. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like “laughed” or “giggled” is in the second category. (“Speak” is also not a speech verb.) Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s [“Hi,” she said. “This is it.”] not [“Hi,” she said, “this is it.”] or [“Hi,” she said “this is it.”] And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s [“Hi. This,” she said, “is it.”] The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks (or single quotes) with thoughts. This is because quotation marks for thoughts make it look like your characters are talking out loud, which is confusing to the reader.

This premise is really overdone, and it wasn’t that interesting the first time.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12998661/1/Pokemon-White-Flood

Blocked. I think they may have been one of the people making those porn SYOCs way back when.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12998195/1/What-if

Blocked. Their name looks familiar but I don’t seem to have reviewed their previous stories.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12998148/1/Grey-Chronicles-A-Rainbow-in-a-Grey-World

Blocked, previously reviewed.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12998093/1/Pokemon-Uprising

Hi! I’m doing a round of reviews around the site, hoping to help give people constructive criticism instead of just vague appreciation or flames. If you do choose to take my advice I will be glad, but you don’t have to feel like I’m making demands of you. I usually try to point out things that could help with future stories, so they can be useful even if you don’t want to edit the current story. Feel free to disagree with my interpretations and don’t be afraid to let me know why. I will be pointing out grammatical errors as well; please understand that I am not trying to be judgmental, but that I honestly believe corrections can improve the story.

[Emma finds herself in a dystopian future. Through many trials, can she find her way back to her old world?]

Summaries should tell us more than just the genre. What’s your plot?

It’s better if you separate your author notes with a horizontal line; otherwise, they look like part of the story. You can do this through the in-site editor.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like trainer or professor or gym.

You’re formatting dialogue incorrectly. Dialogue is written as [“Hello,” she said] or [“Hello!” she said], never [“Hello.” She said] or [“Hello”, she said] or [“Hello” she said]. This is because dialogue and speech tags are considered to be part of the same sentence, so they have to flow together. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb. In that case, the second part IS considered a separate sentence, so it’s written as [“Hello.” She grinned], never [“Hello,” she grinned]. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like “laughed” or “giggled” is in the second category. (“Speak” is also not a speech verb.) Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s [“Hi,” she said. “This is it.”] not [“Hi,” she said, “this is it.”] or [“Hi,” she said “this is it.”] And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s [“Hi. This,” she said, “is it.”] The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks (or single quotes) with thoughts. This is because quotation marks for thoughts make it look like your characters are talking out loud, which is confusing to the reader.

[And this here is my daughter Michael.]

Is that a typo? Michael is typically a male name.

That ended abruptly.

This is very strange and hard to follow; I get the feeling like I missed a chapter or something. It might help if you slowed down a little and explained the protagonist’s thoughts more.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12997918/1/Pok%C3%A9mon-Snippets-Valerie

Hi! I’m doing a round of reviews around the site, hoping to help give people constructive criticism instead of just vague appreciation or flames. If you do choose to take my advice I will be glad, but you don’t have to feel like I’m making demands of you. I usually try to point out things that could help with future stories, so they can be useful even if you don’t want to edit the current story. Feel free to disagree with my interpretations and don’t be afraid to let me know why. I will be pointing out grammatical errors as well; please understand that I am not trying to be judgmental, but that I honestly believe corrections can improve the story.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like trainer or professor or gym.

You’re formatting dialogue incorrectly. In English, Dialogue is written as [“Hello,” she said] or [“Hello!” she said], never [“Hello.” She said] or [“Hello”, she said] or [“Hello” she said]. This is because dialogue and speech tags are considered to be part of the same sentence, so they have to flow together. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb. In that case, the second part IS considered a separate sentence, so it’s written as [“Hello.” She grinned], never [“Hello,” she grinned]. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like “laughed” or “giggled” is in the second category. (“Speak” is also not a speech verb.) Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s [“Hi,” she said. “This is it.”] not [“Hi,” she said, “this is it.”] or [“Hi,” she said “this is it.”] And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s [“Hi. This,” she said, “is it.”] The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks (or single quotes) with thoughts. This is because quotation marks for thoughts make it look like your characters are talking out loud, which is confusing to the reader. Also, a new speaker requires a new paragraph.

This ends very abruptly. It’s generally not a good idea to end your first chapter on a cliffhanger; it’s better to get your reader invested in the story, as cliffhangers rely on investment.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12997853/1/The-UB-invasion

Blocked, previously reviewed.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12997817/1/Bellwether

Blocked, don’t recognize them.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12997789/1/Tale-of-a-Suicune

Blocked, previously encountered. Anime.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12997694/1/Safe-Haven

I don’t watch the anime, so I’m not going to be able to review this story on content. Please tag your story as anime fic to avoid this problem. Find your story under “Manage Stories” and select it from the dropdown menu that says “World: Any” in the “Category” section.

[WEEEEEEEEEEEEE-LINE BREAK]

You can add real horizontal lines in the in-site editor, or by adding hr tags to your source code.

You’re formatting dialogue incorrectly. Dialogue is written as [“Hello,” she said] or [“Hello!” she said], never [“Hello.” She said] or [“Hello”, she said] or [“Hello” she said]. This is because dialogue and speech tags are considered to be part of the same sentence, so they have to flow together. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb. In that case, the second part IS considered a separate sentence, so it’s written as [“Hello.” She grinned], never [“Hello,” she grinned]. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like “laughed” or “giggled” is in the second category. (“Speak” is also not a speech verb.) Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s [“Hi,” she said. “This is it.”] not [“Hi,” she said, “this is it.”] or [“Hi,” she said “this is it.”] And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s [“Hi. This,” she said, “is it.”] The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks (or single quotes) with thoughts. This is because quotation marks for thoughts make it look like your characters are talking out loud, which is confusing to the reader.

[Chapter End]

This isn’t necessary due to the way the site is set up. A line is better if you want to separate your author’s notes.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12997598/1/Paradise

Hi! I’m doing a round of reviews around the site, hoping to help give people constructive criticism instead of just vague appreciation or flames. If you do choose to take my advice I will be glad, but you don’t have to feel like I’m making demands of you. I usually try to point out things that could help with future stories, so they can be useful even if you don’t want to edit the current story. Feel free to disagree with my interpretations and don’t be afraid to let me know why. I will be pointing out grammatical errors as well; please understand that I am not trying to be judgmental, but that I honestly believe corrections can improve the story.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like trainer or professor or gym.

[It clearly wants tummy touches]

Missing punctuation here.

Using fanfic to make incredibly trite and shallow jabs at topical politics seems really pointless to me. The political bits seem like they’re coming from a completely different universe compared to the pokemon bits. If you want to write about politics you should make a blog post, and if you want to write about pokemon battles you should just write about pokemon battles. Right now they’re just distracting from one another.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12997524/1/My-Real-Adventure

Hi! I’m doing a round of reviews around the site, hoping to help give people constructive criticism instead of just vague appreciation or flames. If you do choose to take my advice I will be glad, but you don’t have to feel like I’m making demands of you. I usually try to point out things that could help with future stories, so they can be useful even if you don’t want to edit the current story. Feel free to disagree with my interpretations and don’t be afraid to let me know why. I will be pointing out grammatical errors as well; please understand that I am not trying to be judgmental, but that I honestly believe corrections can improve the story.

[Well… I guess this is happening. I am 17 years old and I am kinda special. I have powers… Well, I can control aura like how Riolu and Lucario can. There are more people like me with different gifts. With the help of my partner, Aidan the Lucario and my Shiny Gardevoir, Destiny, the 3 of us will find the others and hopefully save the world.]

So they’re a giant sue, then.

Look, I understand the desire to give your character cool and shiny things, but a character is more than just their powers and possessions. You’ve just told us a lot about what this character has, but nothing about who they *are*, which ought to be the core of the story and the reason why we are invested in their struggle. How do they feel about having these powers? How do they feel about having a special destiny? What exactly does this destiny call on them to do and how do they feel about the sacrifices they have to make? Why do they have not one but two incredibly rare pokemon? Is that meant to tell us something about their character, or did you just add them in because you like them?

You should think about why you wanted to make this story. That will help you plan out what you want to do going forward, and it will help you find and engage your audience as well.

Titling chapters in the story itself looks kinda weird; the dropdown menu should suffice.

[-Sinnoh; Jubilife City; 1st Person P.O.V.-]

This isn’t a video game. You should establish time and place through context or narration. Non-general scene transitions are jarring. You also don’t need to label POVs when they’re obvious from context.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like trainer or professor or gym.

[I have a special ability. I can talk to Pokémon and understand their language.]

Okay, so… I want you to think about the implications of this. The world of Pokemon is one where humans treat pokemon like we treat animals: they are captured from the wild without their consent, carted around in capsules, and kept as pets. If you were to suddenly discover animals could not only talk but displayed exactly the same intelligence as humans, wouldn’t you be a little disturbed by how we treat them? Wouldn’t this motivate you to change the way we as a culture treat animals, not just to be nice to the animals under your care?

This is especially awkward when you have the pokemon opening with fear and revulsion towards humans, and then learning a very special lesson that the protagonist is One Of The Good Ones. I mean…

[“I lost my family long ago… It was due to Team Rainbow killing my father and mother and kidnapping my older sister, Victoria,”]

How is “kidnapping” different than what trainers normally do? The games like to paint Team Rocket as the evil version of trainers, but they don’t do a good job of explaining how “poaching” is actually any different than the regular capturing all trainers do.

Essentially, James’ behavior would make perfect sense if Aiden was a human or even another species on equal footing with humans… but he’s not. What you’re holding up as a horrific atrocity happens to pokemon like Aiden all the time. If James is so outraged by it, he should be outraged against the trainer system as a whole.

That, combined with all the special destiny stuff and James himself having magic powers makes this feel more like an original fantasy story rather than Pokemon fanfic. You might want to try sketching out a version of this chapter where Aiden is an elf or something and see if that works better for the story you want to tell. Remember, original fiction is always an option, and isn’t as restrictive as fanfic.

Finally, it’s better if you separate your author notes with a horizontal line; otherwise, they look like part of the story. You can do this through the in-site editor.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12997377/1/Aftermath

Hi! I’m doing a round of reviews around the site, hoping to help give people constructive criticism instead of just vague appreciation or flames. If you do choose to take my advice I will be glad, but you don’t have to feel like I’m making demands of you. I usually try to point out things that could help with future stories, so they can be useful even if you don’t want to edit the current story. Feel free to disagree with my interpretations and don’t be afraid to let me know why. I will be pointing out grammatical errors as well; please understand that I am not trying to be judgmental, but that I honestly believe corrections can improve the story.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like trainer or professor or gym.

[Cyrus died. The initial outrage of the devil Pokémon had slain him and his team in an instant, leaving a champion and a trainer face to face with the incarnation of evil.]

There is really no indication that Giratina is literally the Pokeworld equivalent of Satan. It’s aggressive when disturbed, but so are all the legendaries. Cynthia, who is an expert on the mythology, doesn’t seem to consider it evil, and its attack on Cyrus was in self-defense. Giratina is certainly creepy and dangerous, but describing it as “the incarnation of evil” seems a bit unfair.

[When the dragon fell limply on the ground, scarred, bleeding and unconscious, what was a trainer to do but panic as they became the next target.]

But… Cynthia has five other pokemon, and so does the MC. They could keep fighting. If you meant to convey that Giratina curbstomped it so further resistance was obviously futile, that wasn’t clear and you should make it more explicit.

[he stated it in the eyes]

I think you meant “stared” here.

[it’s sole purpose]

Typo.

[That second is all he needed to understand.]

The rest of the story is in past tense, so this should be as well.

[Giratina charged his own ball of energy]

You previously refer to Giratina as “it”, yet it’s a “he” here.

The description here was really great. I love the initial bits showing how shocking an interruption this must be to the trainer’s previously happy-go-lucky adventure, and I love that the god pokemon can’t be beaten by normal means, as it should be.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12997327/1/Time-Heals

Blocked, previously reviewed. Anime.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12997315/1/Shadowland

Blocked, don’t recognize them.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12996804/1/Dreams-Come-True-A-Pok%C3%A9mon-One-shot

Hi! I’m doing a round of reviews around the site, hoping to help give people constructive criticism instead of just vague appreciation or flames. If you do choose to take my advice I will be glad, but you don’t have to feel like I’m making demands of you. I usually try to point out things that could help with future stories, so they can be useful even if you don’t want to edit the current story. Feel free to disagree with my interpretations and don’t be afraid to let me know why. I will be pointing out grammatical errors as well; please understand that I am not trying to be judgmental, but that I honestly believe corrections can improve the story.

You’re formatting dialogue incorrectly. Dialogue is written as [“Hello,” she said] or [“Hello!” she said], never [“Hello.” She said] or [“Hello”, she said] or [“Hello” she said]. This is because dialogue and speech tags are considered to be part of the same sentence, so they have to flow together. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb. In that case, the second part IS considered a separate sentence, so it’s written as [“Hello.” She grinned], never [“Hello,” she grinned]. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like “laughed” or “giggled” is in the second category. (“Speak” is also not a speech verb.) Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s [“Hi,” she said. “This is it.”] not [“Hi,” she said, “this is it.”] or [“Hi,” she said “this is it.”] And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s [“Hi. This,” she said, “is it.”] The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks (or single quotes) with thoughts. This is because quotation marks for thoughts make it look like your characters are talking out loud, which is confusing to the reader.

[Oh, son… Will you be able to show me those smiles after a few more months?]

This is jarring, as the story is in third-person up to this point. You should italicize this to make it clear this is a thought.

[Flashback…]

This isn’t a video game. You should establish time and place through context or narration. Non-general scene transitions are jarring.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like trainer or professor or gym.

Ah, that was a clever twist. I suspected something like that was going on. The ending felt a bit too unsubtle, though – the amount of technical exposition detracts from the emotional payload, especially when it’s pretty obvious what happened. This is a case where less is more, I think.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12996776/1/Wild-Sanctuary

Hi! I’m doing a round of reviews around the site, hoping to help give people constructive criticism instead of just vague appreciation or flames. If you do choose to take my advice I will be glad, but you don’t have to feel like I’m making demands of you. I usually try to point out things that could help with future stories, so they can be useful even if you don’t want to edit the current story. Feel free to disagree with my interpretations and don’t be afraid to let me know why. I will be pointing out grammatical errors as well; please understand that I am not trying to be judgmental, but that I honestly believe corrections can improve the story.

[A wild Pokémon named Gothitelle]

You’re not named “Human”. Your pokemon characters deserve actual names. Yes, I know the Mystery Dungeon games do this. Doesn’t change the fact that it’s ridiculous and confusing.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like trainer or professor or gym.

[The Pichu scampered off to it’s friends.]

You want “its”. “It’s” always means “it is”. It’s also weird to me to see pokemon referring to each other as “it”, when we know they have genders.

[“Ugh…” she rubbed her face.]

When narration doesn’t describe how dialogue is said, it’s its own sentence and is punctuated accordingly. So this should be [“Ugh…” She rubbed her face.]

Using hyphens without spaces in place of dashes is confusing. To avoid people thinking you’re hyphenating words, you should put spaces around the hyphen, or use a double dash.

[Lucario absentmindedly slipped his hand (paw?)]

…Well, which is it? It’s very weird when narration appears confused about what it’s describing.

[“Can I touch you?”

A few moments]

There’s a missing line space between these paragraphs.

[the ‘doorway’ (there was no door)]

Including author’s notes in the middle of a story is not a good idea. Stories run on immersion and suspension of disbelief; interrupting the story and pointing to the wires shatters that, much like an actor breaking character in a theater production.

This is an interesting premise, but it’s a little undercut by your pokemon’s behavior being so human-like, right down to apparently having no issue operating items that should require opposable thumbs. This feels more like a generic fantasy story about a conflict between humans and elves (right down to living in a glamoured forest sanctuary, even) than something uniquely Pokemon.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12996739/1/Within-the-Sea

I don’t watch the anime, so I’m not going to be able to review this story on content. Please tag your story as anime fic to avoid this problem. Find your story under “Manage Stories” and select it from the dropdown menu that says “World: Any” in the “Category” section.

It’s better if you separate your author notes with a horizontal line; otherwise, they look like part of the story. You can do this through the in-site editor.

I appreciate that you’re not capitalizing pokemon.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12996075/1/POKEMON-BIG-BROTHER-SIGNUPS-OPEN

Non-story and interactive entries are banned on this site. You should advertise on a social media site instead.

Also, ignore that previous guest reviewer, they are trying to impersonate someone.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12996510/1/Bolt-Yellow

Hi! I’m doing a round of reviews around the site, hoping to help give people constructive criticism instead of just vague appreciation or flames. If you do choose to take my advice I will be glad, but you don’t have to feel like I’m making demands of you. I usually try to point out things that could help with future stories, so they can be useful even if you don’t want to edit the current story. Feel free to disagree with my interpretations and don’t be afraid to let me know why. I will be pointing out grammatical errors as well; please understand that I am not trying to be judgmental, but that I honestly believe corrections can improve the story.

[In a world where gamers are upset we didn’t get a Yellow Version remake, I present to you Bolt Yellow! Yellow Version meets Black and White as a new take in the Unova Region. Mostly based on Black1/2 and White1/2 games and Anime and lightly based on Yellow and the original Anime.]

Okay, so… the thing is, those games didn’t have much in the way of plot. The new gameplay features were what made Pokemon Yellow fun. What’s needed for a story is very different, and this summary doesn’t tell us important things like what the plot actually is. Simply having a different starter isn’t actually enough to carry a whole trainer story. Imitating the anime’s format might help, but then, we’ve already seen the anime. You should think about what you really want to do with this story and what makes it unique, and advertise that up front. Lead with your best foot forward and you’ll hook the most readers.

And indeed, this chapter does have a lot of interesting and original content that appears to be building to a real plot – but unfortunately, I can see you haven’t gotten a lot of attention for it. You might have better luck if you edit your summary to talk more about your plot.

I appreciate that you’re not capitalizing pokemon.

[His trainer doesn’t voice any remorse only a stern tone.]

This needs a comma after “remorse”. You make similar errors all throughout this, and it makes your story a little hard to follow. You should read up on punctuation rules and sentence structure.

[“No, Emolga,” The trainer snaps.]

This may be a typo, but in case it isn’t: Dialogue is written as [“Hello,” she said] or [“Hello!” she said], never [“Hello.” She said] or [“Hello,” She said] or [“Hello” she said]. This is because dialogue and speech tags are considered to be part of the same sentence, so they have to flow together. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb. In that case, the second part IS considered a separate sentence, so it’s written as [“Hello.” She grinned], never [“Hello,” she grinned]. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like “laughed” or “giggled” is in the second category. (“Speak” is also not a speech verb.) Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s [“Hi,” she said. “This is it.”] not [“Hi,” she said, “this is it.”] or [“Hi,” she said “this is it.”] And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s [“Hi. This,” she said, “is it.”] The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks (or single quotes) with thoughts. This is because quotation marks for thoughts make it look like your characters are talking out loud, which is confusing to the reader.

[She always found it annoying how the creator’s of the suits assume]

That apostrophe shouldn’t be there; plurals don’t require aspotrophes.

But yeah, this is a really solid opening. You grab the reader’s attention with an intense opening that lays the seeds of a future subplot, and you do a good job of introducing the main characters without having to go through the motions of the standard game opening we’re already familiar with. Good job!

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12996435/1/Ash-s-Game-room-Pokemon-Sun

If Ash’s role in this is important, this should be labeled as anime fic. If the game is more important, it’s just distracting to use him, and you should probably make an OC instead.

[professor’s kukuis]

That should be “Professor Kukui’s”. Names are capitalized, and so are titles when they’re attached to names. You also only need to put the possessive on the last word.

You have quite a lot of odd misspellings and capitalization errors here. They don’t break the story, but they are distracting and you should get a beta reader to help you with them if you have trouble.

I’m not entirely sure where you’re going with this – if this is just about someone playing the game, Let’s Plays already exist.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12996405/1/Distance

Blocked, don’t recognize them.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13002605/1/Annihilate

Hi! I’m doing a round of reviews around the site, hoping to help give people constructive criticism instead of just vague appreciation or flames. If you do choose to take my advice I will be glad, but you don’t have to feel like I’m making demands of you. I usually try to point out things that could help with future stories, so they can be useful even if you don’t want to edit the current story. Feel free to disagree with my interpretations and don’t be afraid to let me know why. I will be pointing out grammatical errors as well; please understand that I am not trying to be judgmental, but that I honestly believe corrections can improve the story.

[Alola and Hoenn, the two regions out in the frontier. All the other regions are far to the west, in or near the mainland.]

I’m not sure what you mean by this. Alola is Hawaii and Hoenn is Japan, so they’re a world apart. Unova (New York) is closer to Alola than Hoenn, and it would be to the east, not the west. Kalos (France) is also closer to Alola going east than west.

[I was born in Hoenn, in a place called Littleroot Town. I live with two parents and no siblings in a house opposite Professor Birch’s lab. I’m a 12 year old boy (I’m turning 13 tomorrow) who wants to become a pokemon trainer.

The process to becoming one in easy. When a child turns 10, they can choose to switch from normal education to pokemon trainer school. The child then takes 3 years of courses, and if they pass, they get a trainer’s license and a starter pokemon.]

That’s not at all how it works. The PCs start at 10 in the games, you encounter trainers even younger than that, and the manga explicitly show kids catching pokemon on their own without getting a starter handout. If you want your trainer character to have extra schooling it’s fine to say they did that, but saying it’s a requirement for all trainers just needlessly cuts down on the breadth and potential of the setting. Pokemon training being so accessible is what makes the setting what it is.

Also… I understand the urge to explain basic information to the reader to set the stage, but opening the story with description or exposition is actually not a good idea. Readers don’t actually need to know this stuff just yet to enjoy the story; things like how the character acts and what they’re doing matter much more in the long run. Show don’t tell, etc. This early on, you should stick to information that is immediately relevant. More minor details can come after readers have gotten invested.

[I got my license yesterday, and I’m getting my starter today My teachers say it’ll be a good match for me.]

Dropped a period here.

You’re formatting dialogue incorrectly. Dialogue is written as [“Hello,” she said] or [“Hello!” she said], never [“Hello.” She said] or [“Hello,” She said] or [“Hello” she said]. This is because dialogue and speech tags are considered to be part of the same sentence, so they have to flow together. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb. In that case, the second part IS considered a separate sentence, so it’s written as [“Hello.” She grinned], never [“Hello,” she grinned]. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like “laughed” or “giggled” is in the second category. (“Speak” is also not a speech verb.) Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s [“Hi,” she said. “This is it.”] not [“Hi,” she said, “this is it.”] or [“Hi,” she said “this is it.”] And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s [“Hi. This,” she said, “is it.”] The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks (or single quotes) with thoughts. This is because quotation marks for thoughts make it look like your characters are talking out loud, which is confusing to the reader.

[4 members of the elite four]

In prose, numbers less than 13 or so are written out with letters.

[“Ummm ok?”]

It’s written “okay”, four letters. It is not an abbreviation for something else, nor is it pronounced “ock”, therefore it should never be written as OK, Ok, O.K. or ok.

[“What in the name of Arceus just happened?”]

Using Arceus in place of God sounds ridiculous and has no basis in canon. It’s fine to just use “God”.

I like that more happens here than the standard pokemon handout opening, but it’s still not very clear where the story is going. This is too insubstantial for a first chapter. Remember that your first chapter is your opportunity to hook your reader – you don’t need to put all your cards on the table, but you need to have something to show. Start where your plot starts; you’re not obligated to cover every mundane detail leading up to the inciting event.