A decent fic about a character from the ancient Pokemon musical, and a fic where the legendaries are wooden bureaucrats. Otherwise, same old same old.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12444075/1/The-ackward-couple

This is completely incoherent. You need a beta reader. Start looking here: fanfiction {dot} net/topic/11834/42724996/1/Beta-Signup

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12443968/1/Encounters-and-Confessions

[The Magnet train, it goes from Goldenrod to Saffron City with almost no stops in between.]

This is a comma splice. You need to split this sentence in two or use a different transition.

You’re slipping between past and present tense, which is extremely distracting. Try to keep your tenses consistent.

You’re formatting dialogue inconsistently. Dialogue is written as [“Hello,” she said] or [“Hello!” she said], never [“Hello.” She said] or [“Hello”, she said] or [“Hello” she said]. This is because dialogue and speech tags are considered to be part of the same sentence, so they have to flow together. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb. In that case, the second part <i>is</i> considered a separate sentence, so it’s written as [“Hello.” She grinned], never [“Hello,” she grinned]. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like “laughed” or “giggled” is in the second category. (“Speak” is also not a speech verb.) Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s [“Hi,” she said. “This is it.”] not [“Hi,” she said, “this is it.”] or [“Hi,” she said “this is it.”] And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s [“Hi. This,” she said, “is it.”] The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks (or single quotes) with thoughts. This is because quotation marks for thoughts make it look like your characters are talking out loud, which is confusing to the reader. All of this still applies even if the dialogue ends in a ? or !.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12443809/1/PKMN-Black-and-White-Meeting-at-the-Ferris-Wheel

I appreciate that you’re not capitalizing pokemon. “Pokemon center” shouldn’t be either, though.

[it’s a chance encounter with a certain brunette female trainer that his travels in Unova have truly begun]

Referring to people by hair color sounds kinda weird, especially for a romance. Descriptions should be relevant to the character as a person.

You should separate your author notes with a horizontal line; otherwise, they look like part of the story.

[people and pokemon]

So pokemon aren’t people?

[The attraction in question has a very huge and noticable ferris wheel in the backdrop.]

“Backdrop” doesn’t work this way; the noun form is a theatrical term, and can only refer to literal stage scenery or metaphorical mood akin to stage scenery. “Background” is probably the word you want here.

Also, “noticeable”. Spellcheck. “Ferris” should also be capitalized.

[Man would like to ride on something like that.]

This is confusingly worded – is he saying that the structure is so magnificent that Man, the species, would like to ride it? It sounds like you dropped some words and this is supposed to be something along the lines of “Man, I would like to…”

[Her attire consists of]

The rest of the story is in past tense, so this should be as well.

[To Miguel, she was an amazing beauty that took his breath away, “Uh…Uh…is that right?”]

When dialogue is paired with a non-speaking action in narration, the narration is a separate sentence and is punctuated accordingly. So this should be [To Miguel, she was an amazing beauty that took his breath away. “Uh…Uh…is that right?”] for instance.

[So that said lets get going!]

Typo.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12443953/1/Ash-s-Lunar-Journey

This belongs in the Anime world. Find your story under “Manage Stories” and select it from the dropdown menu that says “World: Any” in the “Category” section.

You should separate your author notes with a horizontal line; otherwise, they look like part of the story.

Titling chapters in the story itself looks kinda weird; the dropdown menu should suffice.

Read this: fanfiction {dot} net/topic/11834/55376155/1/Capitalization-Thread You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor. Or nighttime. Before you message me about this, please check the thread to make sure your argument hasn’t already been addressed.

You’re formatting dialogue incorrectly. Dialogue is written as [“Hello,” she said] or [“Hello!” she said], never [“Hello.” She said] or [“Hello”, she said] or [“Hello” she said]. This is because dialogue and speech tags are considered to be part of the same sentence, so they have to flow together. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb. In that case, the second part <i>is</i> considered a separate sentence, so it’s written as [“Hello.” She grinned], never [“Hello,” she grinned]. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like “laughed” or “giggled” is in the second category. (“Speak” is also not a speech verb.) Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s [“Hi,” she said. “This is it.”] not [“Hi,” she said, “this is it.”] or [“Hi,” she said “this is it.”] And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s [“Hi. This,” she said, “is it.”] The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks (or single quotes) with thoughts. This is because quotation marks for thoughts make it look like your characters are talking out loud, which is confusing to the reader.

This is far too insubstantial for a first chapter. See here for more information: fanfiction {dot} net/topic/11834/142411850/1/First-Chapters

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12443895/1/Ethan-and-Airalyn-the-Gardevoir-s-Adventures-in-Kanto

I appreciate that you’re not capitalizing pokemon.

[“Is that a Ralts?”]

You did here, though.

Older characters going through the same journey that 10-year-old can handle is generally not a good idea. Read this for more information: fanfiction {dot} net/topic/11834/142926917/1/TRAINERS-START-AT-TEN

[Background: Ethan Barkson is a 12 year old boy that lives in the Kanto region. Ethan lives in a small house with both his parents, and a sister, in Pallet Town. When he was younger, he decided to stay in school up to 6th grade, instead of 4th grade like the other children. Ethan wanted to receive more of an education before he left for a journey. Now that he has finished the 6th grade, Ethan’s journey will begin this summer!]

If this information is relevant, it should come up in the story naturally. Opening with an infodump like this disengages readers.

You’re formatting dialogue incorrectly. Dialogue is written as [“Hello,” she said] or [“Hello!” she said], never [“Hello.” She said] or [“Hello”, she said] or [“Hello” she said]. This is because dialogue and speech tags are considered to be part of the same sentence, so they have to flow together. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb. In that case, the second part <i>is</i> considered a separate sentence, so it’s written as [“Hello.” She grinned], never [“Hello,” she grinned]. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like “laughed” or “giggled” is in the second category. (“Speak” is also not a speech verb.) Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s [“Hi,” she said. “This is it.”] not [“Hi,” she said, “this is it.”] or [“Hi,” she said “this is it.”] And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s [“Hi. This,” she said, “is it.”] The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks (or single quotes) with thoughts. This is because quotation marks for thoughts make it look like your characters are talking out loud, which is confusing to the reader.

Also, a new speaker means a new paragraph. Not following this rule makes your story unreadable.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12443716/1/The-Devil-s-Apprentice

This belongs in the Anime world. Find your story under “Manage Stories” and select it from the dropdown menu that says “World: Any” in the “Category” section.

[the nights sky]

Typo.

[The view was dark, the air was cold but it had an element of beauty to it.]

This is a comma splice. You need to split this sentence in two or use a different transition. You have many similar errors throughout; you might want to read up on comma usage, or find a beta reader to help you.

Read this: fanfiction {dot} net/topic/11834/55376155/1/Capitalization-Thread

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor. Before you message me about this, please check the thread to make sure your argument hasn’t already been addressed.

[His companion for almost 4 years]

In prose, numbers less than 13 or so are written out with letters.

You’re formatting dialogue incorrectly. Dialogue is written as [“Hello,” she said] or [“Hello!” she said], never [“Hello.” She said] or [“Hello”, she said] or [“Hello” she said]. This is because dialogue and speech tags are considered to be part of the same sentence, so they have to flow together. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb. In that case, the second part <i>is</i> considered a separate sentence, so it’s written as [“Hello.” She grinned], never [“Hello,” she grinned]. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like “laughed” or “giggled” is in the second category. (“Speak” is also not a speech verb.) Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s [“Hi,” she said. “This is it.”] not [“Hi,” she said, “this is it.”] or [“Hi,” she said “this is it.”] And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s [“Hi. This,” she said, “is it.”] The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks (or single quotes) with thoughts. This is because quotation marks for thoughts make it look like your characters are talking out loud, which is confusing to the reader.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12443463/1/Starting-Out-Small

[Bold- Move and or Item

Bold and Underline – Pokedex Entry

Italics – Thoughts and different languages’]

I guarantee you do not need this key. If basic actions aren’t obvious from context, you’re doing something wrong. In particular, you shouldn’t use bold for standard actions in prose, as it’s an extremely jarring format. Using it for moves/items is especially unnecessary; this isn’t the video game.

[She ran. It was all she could do really. She knew if she turned back, that he might get her and use her for experiments. Not the science kind but rather the kind where mothers and fathers only do those activities. She shivered just to think about it. Her father was abusive to her mother and did those things in front of her, much to her mother’s horror. And then he proudly and smugly announced he was going to do the same thing to her.]

This is really stilted and confusingly worded. It also doesn’t match the tone of the scene – characters in a tense situation shouldn’t have the time to calmly analyze their situation in articulate detail.

Read this: fanfiction {dot} net/topic/11834/55376155/1/Capitalization-Thread

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor. Before you message me about this, please check the thread to make sure your argument hasn’t already been addressed.

You’re formatting dialogue incorrectly. Dialogue is written as [“Hello,” she said] or [“Hello!” she said], never [“Hello.” She said] or [“Hello”, she said] or [“Hello” she said]. This is because dialogue and speech tags are considered to be part of the same sentence, so they have to flow together. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb. In that case, the second part <i>is</i> considered a separate sentence, so it’s written as [“Hello.” She grinned], never [“Hello,” she grinned]. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like “laughed” or “giggled” is in the second category. (“Speak” is also not a speech verb.) Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s [“Hi,” she said. “This is it.”] not [“Hi,” she said, “this is it.”] or [“Hi,” she said “this is it.”] And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s [“Hi. This,” she said, “is it.”] The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks (or single quotes) with thoughts. This is because quotation marks for thoughts make it look like your characters are talking out loud, which is confusing to the reader.

Also, a new speaker requires a new paragraph.

[she comforted]

You’re overusing unusual speech verbs. Don’t be afraid to use said; lovely word, won’t bite, usually more fitting than whatever trendy verb you’re using in its place. You may have heard to avoid said because it’s so bland and boring, but that’s actually its greatest strength. Nonstandard speech verbs stick out; they’re used for emphasis, when how something is said is important to the story and you want the reader to stop and take notice. If you use that emphasis for every single line, the reader will become oversaturated, lessening the impact when you actually do want emphasis on a speech tag.

[YOUR THE BEST!]

You want “you’re”. “Your” is the possessive.

It’s written “okay”, four letters. It is not an abbreviation for something else, nor is it pronounced ook, therefore it should never be written as OK, Ok, O.K. or ok.

It’s nice to see a story actually start with action for once, but you should probably get a beta reader. Start looking here: fanfiction {dot} net/topic/11834/42724996/1/Beta-Signup

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12443421/1/A-forest-journey

Your title isn’t fully capitalized.

This belongs in the Anime world. Find your story under “Manage Stories” and select it from the dropdown menu that says “World: Any” in the “Category” section.

You should separate your author notes with a horizontal line; otherwise, they look like part of the story.

This is a mess. You need a beta reader. Start looking here: fanfiction {dot} net/topic/11834/42724996/1/Beta-Signup

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12443196/1/Bulbasaur-s-Peril

[Part one. Part 2 coming out soon, hopefully.]

Unless this is a standalone short story, you should really make part 2 a separate chapter instead of a separate story. Otherwise, this story is in violation of the rules and will be taken down.

[“…prepared for evolution, please meet Venusaur in the flower forest…”]

Is Venusaur the only venusaur in existence? This makes as much sense as you being named “Human”. Yes, I know the Mystery Dungeon games do this. Doesn’t change the fact that it’s ridiculous and confusing. Your characters deserve actual names.

You’re formatting dialogue incorrectly. Dialogue is written as [“Hello,” she said] or [“Hello!” she said], never [“Hello.” She said] or [“Hello”, she said] or [“Hello” she said]. This is because dialogue and speech tags are considered to be part of the same sentence, so they have to flow together. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb. In that case, the second part <i>is</i> considered a separate sentence, so it’s written as [“Hello.” She grinned], never [“Hello,” she grinned]. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like “laughed” or “giggled” is in the second category. (“Speak” is also not a speech verb.) Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s [“Hi,” she said. “This is it.”] not [“Hi,” she said, “this is it.”] or [“Hi,” she said “this is it.”] And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s [“Hi. This,” she said, “is it.”] The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks (or single quotes) with thoughts. This is because quotation marks for thoughts make it look like your characters are talking out loud, which is confusing to the reader.

Also, a new speaker means a new paragraph. Not following this rule makes your story unreadable.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12443183/1/X-locke-3-final-book-Life-and-Death-A-pokemon-X-nuzlocke

I’m not clear why you couldn’t just make this all part of the same story. Regardless, non-story chapters are banned on this site. You should include actual story content here.

Read this: fanfiction {dot} net/topic/11834/55376155/1/Capitalization-Thread

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor. Before you message me about this, please check the thread to make sure your argument hasn’t already been addressed.

[Katie: Wow you got lazy on the recap

Sparks: aw zip it]

This is not nearly as original or amusing as you think it is.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12442939/1/Dawn-s-badge

I appreciate that you’re not capitalizing pokemon.

Your title isn’t fully capitalized.

This belongs in the Anime world. Find your story under “Manage Stories” and select it from the dropdown menu that says “World: Any” in the “Category” section.

You should separate your author notes with a horizontal line; otherwise, they look like part of the story.

You’re formatting dialogue incorrectly. Dialogue is written as [“Hello,” she said] or [“Hello!” she said], never [“Hello.” She said] or [“Hello”, she said] or [“Hello” she said]. This is because dialogue and speech tags are considered to be part of the same sentence, so they have to flow together. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb. In that case, the second part <i>is</i> considered a separate sentence, so it’s written as [“Hello.” She grinned], never [“Hello,” she grinned]. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like “laughed” or “giggled” is in the second category. (“Speak” is also not a speech verb.) Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s [“Hi,” she said. “This is it.”] not [“Hi,” she said, “this is it.”] or [“Hi,” she said “this is it.”] And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s [“Hi. This,” she said, “is it.”] The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks (or single quotes) with thoughts. This is because quotation marks for thoughts make it look like your characters are talking out loud, which is confusing to the reader.

[(Moment’s later)]

This is jarring; it’s better to use generalized scene transitions. Time and place should be clear from context or narration.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12442423/1/Meloetta-and-the-dimensional-freeze

Your title isn’t fully capitalized.

Read this: fanfiction {dot} net/topic/11834/55376155/1/Capitalization-Thread

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor. Before you message me about this, please check the thread to make sure your argument hasn’t already been addressed.

[Meloetta floated through her home world as fast as it could.]

Keep pronouns consistent.

This is far too insubstantial for a first chapter. Remember that your first chapter is your opportunity to hook your reader – in other words, to show them what makes your story unique and worth reading. A single scene with no context does not do that. See here for more information: fanfiction {dot} net/topic/11834/142411850/1/First-Chapters

Also, just because you call your original characters the names of Pokemon characters doesn’t make this Pokemon fanfic. This is an original fantasy adventure story and belongs on Fictionpress or Archive of Our Own.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12442342/1/Ash-Coma-or-NOT

This belongs in the Anime world. Find your story under “Manage Stories” and select it from the dropdown menu that says “World: Any” in the “Category” section.

[Ahola Region]

It’s “Alola”, and “region” shouldn’t be capitalized.

[Ages:

Ash- 14

Dawn- 13

Brock- 18

Misty- 16

May- 14

Max- 8

Clemont- 15

Serena- 12

Bonnie- 8]

This isn’t necessary. If this information is relevant, it should come up in the story.

[Ash’s bedroom- Pallet Town, Kanto… 1:30 AM]

This is jarring; it’s better to use generalized scene transitions. Time and place should be clear from context or narration.

You’re formatting dialogue incorrectly. Dialogue is written as [“Hello,” she said] or [“Hello!” she said], never [“Hello.” She said] or [“Hello”, she said] or [“Hello” she said]. This is because dialogue and speech tags are considered to be part of the same sentence, so they have to flow together. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb. In that case, the second part <i>is</i> considered a separate sentence, so it’s written as [“Hello.” She grinned], never [“Hello,” she grinned]. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like “laughed” or “giggled” is in the second category. (“Speak” is also not a speech verb.) Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s [“Hi,” she said. “This is it.”] not [“Hi,” she said, “this is it.”] or [“Hi,” she said “this is it.”] And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s [“Hi. This,” she said, “is it.”] The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks (or single quotes) with thoughts. This is because quotation marks for thoughts make it look like your characters are talking out loud, which is confusing to the reader.

Read this: fanfiction {dot} net/topic/11834/55376155/1/Capitalization-Thread

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor. Before you message me about this, please check the thread to make sure your argument hasn’t already been addressed.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12442216/1/Strange-Little-Family

Titling chapters in the story itself looks kinda weird; the dropdown menu should suffice.

You should separate your author notes with a horizontal line; otherwise, they look like part of the story.

[It had been 10 years]

In prose, numbers less than 13 or so are written out with letters.

You’re formatting dialogue incorrectly. Dialogue is written as [“Hello,” she said] or [“Hello!” she said], never [“Hello.” She said] or [“Hello”, she said] or [“Hello” she said]. This is because dialogue and speech tags are considered to be part of the same sentence, so they have to flow together. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb. In that case, the second part <i>is</i> considered a separate sentence, so it’s written as [“Hello.” She grinned], never [“Hello,” she grinned]. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like “laughed” or “giggled” is in the second category. (“Speak” is also not a speech verb.) Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s [“Hi,” she said. “This is it.”] not [“Hi,” she said, “this is it.”] or [“Hi,” she said “this is it.”] And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s [“Hi. This,” she said, “is it.”] The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks (or single quotes) with thoughts. This is because quotation marks for thoughts make it look like your characters are talking out loud, which is confusing to the reader.

Read this: fanfiction {dot} net/topic/11834/55376155/1/Capitalization-Thread

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor. Before you message me about this, please check the thread to make sure your argument hasn’t already been addressed.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12442093/1/The-Quest-to-be-the-Best

This belongs in the Anime world. Find your story under “Manage Stories” and select it from the dropdown menu that says “World: Any” in the “Category” section.

Read this: fanfiction {dot} net/topic/11834/55376155/1/Capitalization-Thread

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor. Before you message me about this, please check the thread to make sure your argument hasn’t already been addressed.

[Also here are the modifications that i made to the Pokemon World:

1] There are 9 regions, the six till kalos and after that Farrencore and Dovahkin as 2 regions like the other six with their own gyms and pokemon and stuff and finally Sholtour Islands, an entire region roughly thrice the size of Orange Islands which is the Headquarters of the World League.(I omitted Alola because i dont really like the anime much and i dont have a 3ds so i dont know much about the region)]

Holy crap, dude, proofread. There’s no excuse for not capitalizing “I”.

[Pokemon-Dazzling and Awe inspiring, the amazing creatures that thrive on this planet, in numbers too large to even begin to count, numerous and varied to be sure!

People and Pokemon, Together, compete against each other in a Pokemon Battle, Hoping to one day become champions, stronger and greater than all others in the world! Battles bring people and their pokemon closer; they strengthen the bonds of friendship and love shared by trainers with their pokemon as they compete where only the best of the best and the greatest of the great can triumph!

In this beautiful world of Pokemon, though, not everything is perfect. Wherever there is good, there must also be evil, for good and evil are but sides of a coin. And as always, whenever evil rises, so does a hero, a hero full of goodness, whose heart is pure and untouched by any negative thought of the world, a hero whose ideals shine so bright that they obliterate all traces of the darkness that evil brings with itself.

One such hero is a young teen named Ash Ketchum, whose trademarked z marks on the cheek; his ebony hair, chocolate brown eyes and monumental appetite are well known in the world. And yet his true journey is just beginning…

Join him as he seeks to become a Pokemon Master, as he sets out to become the strongest trainer ever in this enthralling tale of bravery, selflessness, mind numbing pokemon battling, of goodness and how it will always triumph over evil and above a tale of love, as it is always love that motivates any good deed, love for friends, for family and for Pokemon…]

There’s no need to recap canon information. You’re writing fanfiction; everyone here is already familiar with this.

[Three Years Ago, Lumios City Conference Final]

This is jarring; it’s better to use generalized scene transitions. Time and place should be clear from context or narration.

[said the young ebony haired trainer]

This is extremely awkward-sounding. Epithets should be uniquely relevant to the character and scene, not blanket physical descriptions.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12441948/1/Pokemon-Mystery-Dungeon-Gates-to-Imbecility

Read this: fanfiction {dot} net/topic/11834/55376155/1/Capitalization-Thread

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor. Before you message me about this, please check the thread to make sure your argument hasn’t already been addressed.

[Third person POV]

You don’t need to label POVs when they’re obvious from context, and this is especially true for third-person. I would also recommend against using first-person for multiple POVs as this implies you are doing, as it makes it hard to keep track of characters.

Using quotes, even single quotes, for thoughts is confusing, because it makes it look like characters are talking out loud.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12444526/1/Immortals

This is not Pokemon fanfic. This is an original fantasy pantheon with only passing resemblances to the Pokemon canon. If you want to write an original fantasy story that’s great, but please post it on Fictionpress or Archive of Our Own instead of here.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12444543/1/Packing

This belongs in the Anime world. Find your story under “Manage Stories” and select it from the dropdown menu that says “World: Any” in the “Category” section.

[Misty answered by narrowing her eyes and dumpinh a jet of icy water directly into his face, “I’ll like to see you in my room in five minutes.”]

When dialogue is paired with a non-speaking action, the narration is a separate sentence and is punctuated accordingly. So this should be [Misty answered by narrowing her eyes and dumpinh a jet of icy water directly into his face. “I’ll like to see you in my room in five minutes.”]. Also, you’ve got a typo. Spellcheck.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12444713/1/A-Place-To-Belong

Read this: fanfiction {dot} net/topic/11834/55376155/1/Capitalization-Thread

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor. Before you message me about this, please check the thread to make sure your argument hasn’t already been addressed.

You should separate your author notes with a horizontal line; otherwise, they look like part of the story.

[The last of the humans and Pokémon had left the destruction sight]

I can’t parse this. Do you mean “destruction site”?

[He? Was he really a he? It had never been specified, and he had never had the option to consider it before now. He supposed he was a ‘he’ since that was what he seemed to be identifying himself as, even though he was technically genderless.]

This sounds really forced and stilted. He shouldn’t have to think about this regardless of if he’s agender or male; a truly genderless being wouldn’t care at all, and if he has an intrinsic sense of maleness he shouldn’t have any reason to question this.

[along with the many other things he had Learned,later,]

You seem to have missed a space and possibly other things here.

[Even though he had self-destruct in a way very different from the way other Pokémon would Self-Destruct]

It sounds like you mean the past tense here – “self-destructed”?

[Blowing himself up was merely a coup to deceive his maker and former master, Giovanni]

I don’t think “coup” is the word you want here. “Ploy”, maybe?

[unburying]

Is not a word. You need to phrase this sentence differently.

[Reassembly wasn’t suitable enough of a word for the process. Regeneration would have been more appropriate as his body continued to repair itself until he was as good as new.]

This sounds awkward in a way I can’t quite place. I think it might look better with parallel structure, with “Regeneration would have been more appropriate” as its own sentence to match the first one about reassembly.

[Thank Arceus for his counterpart]

How would he know about Arceus?

[MechaMew2wuld even go as far as top say]

Something went wrong with this sentence.

This is well-written, and I feel you include a good amount of detail without being overwrought. The descriptive tone matches Mechamew2’s own contemplative attitude.

However, this seems to be based on anime characters, in which case this belongs in the Anime world. Find your story under “Manage Stories” and select it from the dropdown menu that says “World: Any” in the “Category” section.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12444758/1/An-Emerald-Journey

Read this: fanfiction {dot} net/topic/11834/55376155/1/Capitalization-Thread

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor. Before you message me about this, please check the thread to make sure your argument hasn’t already been addressed.

You should separate your author notes with a horizontal line; otherwise, they look like part of the story.

Not using paragraphs makes me not want to read your story.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12444801/1/Sky-High

Any particular reason why Rayquaza is male in this?

Read this: fanfiction {dot} net/topic/11834/55376155/1/Capitalization-Thread

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor. Before you message me about this, please check the thread to make sure your argument hasn’t already been addressed.

Your writing is very confusing and hard to follow. Are you not a native speaker? You should get a beta reader to help you. Start looking here: fanfiction {dot} net/topic/11834/42724996/1/Beta-Signup

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12441367/1/Yuki-Neko-s-Journey

You might want to pick a more original title and summary. There are quite literally thousands of titles in this category that are variations on, if not identical to, this one.

[A four year old child by the name of Yuki Neko is starting her pokémon journey. You see she was given the rare opportunity to start a pokémon journey before you reach the designated age of ten. To gain this honor the person must send many well written cards to the pokémon league. When the league found out how old she was they originally thought that they should not let her start a pokémon journey, but she sent the most cards so she would have won anyway. After that they stopped that contest so it would not happen again.]

What??? If they control the league, why don’t they have veto power over their own decisions? And why would they start such a thing in the first place? 10 is already really young to start a journey.

Opening your story with a character waking up for the day is generic and horribly, horribly overdone, and to be honest, it’s so incredibly dull and boring a start that even if I hadn’t seen it, very literally here, hundreds upon hundreds of times before, I would still tell you you should have started at some other, interesting point. Also, no one will ever care what your character is eating for breakfast.

[My dear, I have a Squirtle]

While I appreciate that you’re not capitalizing pokemon, species names shouldn’t be capitalized either.

[stated the wise, factual professor.]

He didn’t state it, though; he said it conversationally. You’re overusing unusual speech verbs. Don’t be afraid to use said; lovely word, won’t bite, usually more fitting than whatever trendy verb you’re using in its place. You may have heard to avoid said because it’s so bland and boring, but that’s actually its greatest strength. Nonstandard speech verbs stick out; they’re used for emphasis, when how something is said is important to the story and you want the reader to stop and take notice. If you use that emphasis for every single line, the reader will become oversaturated, lessening the impact when you actually do want emphasis on a speech tag.

This is far too insubstantial for a first chapter. Remember that your first chapter is your opportunity to hook your reader – in other words, to show them what makes your story unique and worth reading. If you have a plot, start there; you’re not obligated to cover every mundane detail leading up to the inciting event. See here for more information: fanfiction {dot} net/topic/11834/142411850/1/First-Chapters

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12441303/1/Galactic-Hero

This belongs in the Anime world. Find your story under “Manage Stories” and select it from the dropdown menu that says “World: Any” in the “Category” section.

Yammering with characters in the author’s note is not nearly as clever or amusing as you think it is.

Titling chapters in the story itself looks kinda weird; the dropdown menu should suffice.

Read this: fanfiction {dot} net/topic/11834/55376155/1/Capitalization-Thread

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor. Before you message me about this, please check the thread to make sure your argument hasn’t already been addressed.

If you use horizontal lines to separate your author’s notes, you should use a different symbol for scene breaks; otherwise, your notes look like part of the story.

[(A/N: Ash’s suit is the same from the BW episode: “An Epic Defense Force”)]

Including author’s notes in the middle of a story is always a terrible idea. Stories run on immersion and suspension of disbelief; interrupting the story and pointing to the wires shatters that, much like an actor breaking character in a theater production.

You seem to have some spacing issues. Since FFN doesn’t let you use indents, you should make two lines between paragraphs to avoid your story looking like a wall of text.

You’re formatting dialogue incorrectly. Dialogue is written as [“Hello,” she said] or [“Hello!” she said], never [“Hello.” She said] or [“Hello”, she said] or [“Hello” she said]. This is because dialogue and speech tags are considered to be part of the same sentence, so they have to flow together. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb. In that case, the second part <i>is</i> considered a separate sentence, so it’s written as [“Hello.” She grinned], never [“Hello,” she grinned]. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like “laughed” or “giggled” is in the second category. (“Speak” is also not a speech verb.) Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s [“Hi,” she said. “This is it.”] not [“Hi,” she said, “this is it.”] or [“Hi,” she said “this is it.”] And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s [“Hi. This,” she said, “is it.”] The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks (or single quotes) with thoughts. This is because quotation marks for thoughts make it look like your characters are talking out loud, which is confusing to the reader.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12441269/1/May-s-Pokemon-Center

This belongs in the Anime world. Find your story under “Manage Stories” and select it from the dropdown menu that says “World: Any” in the “Category” section.

You should separate your author notes with a horizontal line; otherwise, they look like part of the story.

Titling the story in the story itself looks kinda weird.

Read this: fanfiction {dot} net/topic/11834/55376155/1/Capitalization-Thread

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor. Before you message me about this, please check the thread to make sure your argument hasn’t already been addressed.

[(A woman never reveals her age :P)]

Including author’s notes in the middle of a story is always a terrible idea. Stories run on immersion and suspension of disbelief; interrupting the story and pointing to the wires shatters that, much like an actor breaking character in a theater production.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12440702/1/Pok%C3%A9mon-The-Promise-He-Kept

This belongs in the Anime world. Find your story under “Manage Stories” and select it from the dropdown menu that says “World: Any” in the “Category” section.

Read this: fanfiction {dot} net/topic/11834/55376155/1/Capitalization-Thread

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor. Before you message me about this, please check the thread to make sure your argument hasn’t already been addressed.

[“Hello” – Speech

‘Hello’ – Thoughts

“Hello” – Pokémon speech or Aura communication

‘Hello’ – Thoughts of Pokémon

-Hello- – Speech typed on a device

[Hello] – Pokédex]

I guarantee you do not need this key. If basic actions aren’t obvious from context, you’re doing something wrong. Furthermore, using quotes, even single quotes, for thoughts is confusing, because it makes it look like characters are talking out loud.

[He stood eyeing the field, his red eyes, covered by his raven black hair on his fringe and his bangs that fell just above chin level in length.]

You seem to have lost track of this sentence, also this is infodumping. Opening a story by physically describing the protagonist sounds like a good idea in theory, but such dry information actually disengages the reader. It’s better to work in physical descriptors more naturally later.

[It was clear he went through hard and rough training, if the scar, just below his eye, and his level of skill were any indication.]

You don’t need that first comma.

[“Glaceon, use Hail to activate your Snow Cloak ability and standby for my next order.”]

Bolding game terms is needlessly distracting. This isn’t a video game.

You’re formatting dialogue incorrectly. Dialogue is written as [“Hello,” she said] or [“Hello!” she said], never [“Hello.” She said] or [“Hello”, she said] or [“Hello” she said]. This is because dialogue and speech tags are considered to be part of the same sentence, so they have to flow together. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb. In that case, the second part <i>is</i> considered a separate sentence, so it’s written as [“Hello.” She grinned], never [“Hello,” she grinned]. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like “laughed” or “giggled” is in the second category. (“Speak” is also not a speech verb.) Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s [“Hi,” she said. “This is it.”] not [“Hi,” she said, “this is it.”] or [“Hi,” she said “this is it.”] And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s [“Hi. This,” she said, “is it.”] The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks (or single quotes) with thoughts. This is because quotation marks for thoughts make it look like your characters are talking out loud, which is confusing to the reader.

[it’s mark]

You want “its”. “It’s” always means “it is”.