Dragon Quill

Last time on Mockingjay, Peeta’s still a mess and Katniss joins the army.

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Last time on Mockingjay, Peeta realizes Katniss is a slut because she kissed someone else while they weren’t together. Katniss realizes he’s so right, she’s a terrible person.

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Last time on Mockingjay, nothing makes sense and everything is stupid. But then Katniss gets shot! ::::D

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Last time on Mockingjay, Gale proposes a perfectly reasonable plan of attack and everyone is horrified by the idea of killing people in a war.

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Last time on Mockingjay, Peeta now hates Katniss so he’s a nonperson. Katniss throws another tantrum and insists she can’t possibly stay in the same zip code as him, so she demands to be taken elsewhere. Elsewhere turns out to be 2.

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Last time on Mockingjay, did we really need sex slave Finnick? No. No we did not. Also, Peeta tries to kill Katniss.

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Last time on Mockingjay, Katniss has lost it, so they risk the lives of many people to try to save Millstone.

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Last time on Mockingjay, Prim is the antichrist.

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Last time on Mockingjay, Peeta says they’ll be dead by morning. Peeta, don’t make promises you can’t keep.

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So.

I’ve been writing summations/rewrites between each section break.

But where do I go with this?

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Last time on Mockingjay, everyone agreed Katniss is really awesome and they all lied to cover up how she ran off and did her own thing. Then Haymitch threatened her with involuntary surgery and Peeta gave another interview.

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Last time on Mockingjay, Katniss was Jesus, the protagonist of a B action flick, then the sort of asshole who prefers to look at a burning hospital and say that they’re probably all dead so it’s more important to swear vengeance than to concern herself with saving anyone. I’m pretty sure these things are only all compatible with the help of some of the especially apocryphal books.

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Last time on Mockingjay, a bunch of people got together to tell Katniss about what their favorite awesome moments of her being awesome were, because she’s so awesome. Then they decided to send her into the field with a film crew so she could be awesome while they recorded it.

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Last time on Mockingjay, oh god we’re doing that thing again where Katniss shows off her sue flaw of not being able to be fake. Also, Haymitch is back. I like Haymitch less with each appearance, so I’m pretty wary.

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