I think I’ve gotten all the information I’m going to get on Chara, so I’ll submit them less from now on. But they’re still my go-to default for the crappy fics, and the crappy fics are the only ones that seem to update, so enjoy the show!
He blinked and a smirk curled his lips as he looked at the girl amused. His mind whirled with the possibilities that she could bring him and what she could make possible.
The narration lets us inside Havan’s head to reveal he’s a self-centered dick before his introduction is even over, thus completely defeating his purpose.
This one is a little interesting: The author gave a blanket apology for all the rejected characters because, “You had amazing characters that I felt I couldn’t show their true identities without changing them and making them more my characters than yours.” So this is one SYOC author who didn’t get the memo, it seems.
Havan appears for one line, and also the story appears to have died.
Havan appears and is hilariously incompetent. Gaze upon this beauty:
Luna blinked “No… I didn’t buy any pokeballs…” she murmured.
“Do you need some?” Jacob asked “because other trainers could try and claim them if your pokemon don’t have pokeballs,” he explained when he saw her hesitation.
The professor nodded in agreement “He’s right… Although I’m afraid I don’t have any pokeballs left…” he glanced to Havan hopefully “do you have any to give her?”
Havan looked hesitent as he reached into his bag hanging on his shoulder “Yea… but I might need them…”
Jacob rolled his eyes and reached into his own bag. He pulled out several pokeballs and thrust them into Luna’s hands. The both ignored Havan’s dramatic huff.
Amazing. Not only is he hoarding to the point of jeopardizing his social capital, he loudly proclaims that he totally could have helped but won’t because he’s a selfish dick. I’ll have to clarify that point in future submissions!
”What – cease tormenting this young lady at once,” a new voice cut in, suddenly. It was an older blond boy with clothes too immaculate for having been in a storm. He had a gallade at his side, proud and tall. Oh, Helen realized, they must have teleported in without walking through the rain. Must be nice, she thought, wishing her abra was strong enough to take people with him yet. The boy pointed a finger at Raven, his face proud and indignant. ”Ranger, why aren’t you arresting this violent woman?”
Raven was nearly foaming at the mouth in rage, doing her case no favors, Caesar looked openly annoyed by the whole thing, and Hannah was cheering the boy on (and conveniently hiding behind him).
”Ah,” Helen said, holding her hands up, ”It’s not like that, mister, Raven is just a bit concerned, see, because her pokémon is sick and she needs to go to the center-”
The boy’s expression cleared in the blink of an eye. ”Ah, I see, then please allow me to be of assistance,” he said grandly, taking out a pokeball, ”I am Havan D’Rath, and my audino, Feyja, is skillful in the medical arts! She can provide you with relief until you are able to go to the center.” Tossing the ball with a flourish, he paused in a half bow, as if expecting cheers.
But Raven didn’t say much, all her attention completely focused on her pokémon, and only muttered ”thanks” without even looking at him. Caesar offered him a nod. Hannah went back to sneering at Raven.
Havan’s smile dimmed.
Realizing it, Helen made sure to smile and thank him warmly, and he shook off her compliments humbly but couldn’t quite hide his grin.
This one has both Havan and Chara (under the name Riley), as well as a ton of Farla’s OCs. This author went for broke with Havan’s theatricality, which at least makes him interesting, but it’s so over-the-top it seems like it should just make people annoyed with him. They also had him look very obviously upset when someone didn’t immediately give him praise for helping him, because subtlety is hard.
It was a pity the rain had washed the blood off so soon, Riley liked the feeling it gave. The city of Petalburg rose in the distance, its lights dim in the dark of almost dawn. A frown crossed the child’s face.
”Petalburg. That’s no fun,” muttered Riley, bouncing the pokéball lightly in one hand. The swampert had fought bravely. It had watched its trainer die, which gave Riley a certain pleasure. Still, a witness, to be disposed of soon, far far away. But there was no harm in playing with it a little first, was there? Something special must be planned. ”Perhaps if I – oh, it’s as they say, the early swellow catches the wurmple.”
Chara appears briefly at the end for some generic sadism; we’ll have to see how that progresses. The author’s own villain character is actually very similar to Chara, so I’m interested to see how the redundancy plays out.
Another victim of inevitability:
So before hand, I thank everyone who submitted characters and I am super sorry. I started this story with a idea, sadly, I didn’t act on the plot or think about much, I had the idea, so over the last few months, I talk with some friends and they help me piece my plot together, they also gave me better ways to start the story, I haven’t lost my motivation for this story, but I’m not happy with how I started the story, so I will be redoing it, along with the form. If you wish to still have your character in the story, PM me and I will give you the form, if there are any new people who want to join, you can PM, and I will give you the form. Again I am sorry to everyone who did submit a character, you can resubmit if you like, I just wasn’t happy with myself or how I started the story, thank you for all listening. I’m also gonna say this, on January 1st or 2nd, this story will be deleted, so I’m hoping to get the new & updated story/chapter as soon as I can. Thank you for those who understand and again I am really sorry, if you have any questions, feel free to PM me.
I requested a new form, so stay tuned.
Kidra’s debut. Kidra, loosely based on the character from The Reconstruction, is my attempt to see how people would react to a perfect saint who also happened to sleep around and wear makeup.
Walking beside her was her friend, Kidra Silvery, who just continued to glare at the back of Rhys’ head. Iolana and Kidra shared a few classes, which led to them becoming friends. In fact, it was Kidra that truly initiated the friendship. She had one of those personalities. Some people who met her would call her a “go-getter”, others abrasive. If she saw something she wanted, she would try her hardest to get it. Either way, she was friendly none the less.
Unlike Iolana, she wasn’t dragged out of her bed. They had run into Kidra on their way out of the dorm. Iolana didn’t know why Kidra was out so early, she didn’t really explain herself. However upon seeing Rhys drag Iolana out in her pajamas, Kidra went on the defensive. Iolana tried to calm the situation, but that didn’t stop Kidra from being suspicious of Rhys. Kidra inserted herself in the group, making Rhys or Iolana unable to say anything.
Fortunately, this author seems to be portraying her well; she’s friendly and protective of the other girl, which means there’s a positive female friendship revolving around women supporting other women, which is great.
“This better be good,” the blonde said.
“No one even invited you, Silvery,” Rhys stated with an irritate tone. “If you don’t want to be here, then just leave.”
“Seriously?” the blonde snapped back.
She seems to be a lot poorer at social interactions than I intended, however; I do wonder where they got the idea she was abrasive. She’s in an unusual situation right now, though, so she may act differently later on. We’ll have to see how this progresses.
A Nuzlocke fic. I submitted Chara and said they targeted trainers. Apparently the author decided this meant they were supposed to lay this all on the table immediately:
“It seems that I am early!” announced the young person.
Blue examined him and noticed that he can’t make out if the person was male or female.
“Umm… are you going to participate in the Nuzlocke Challenge?” asked Blue nervously.
“Well, of course!” answered the person.
“I am Riley… serial killer extraordinaire!” introduced the person.
“Serial killer?” said Blue confused.
“Aiming for the pokemon… is dumb when you can aim for the person!” said Riley.
“I don’t know where you’re going!” said Blue.
“Hahaha, I win if they are unable to battle for without the trainer, the pokemon will never recieve any orders to attack!” continued Riley.
“I am also deemed very kind to pokemon so I can attract any trainer’s pokemon to join my ranks and together we can be powerful!” said Riley laughing maniacally.
Riley then stopped laughing then entered the Pokemon Center.
Blue was speechless. There were three weird contestant, a weird host, a weird friend and only one normal Blue to battle them.
We’ll have to see what happens when they actually fight.
Chara is a girl in this. The author copied my description word-for-word…poorly:
Next, a girl with chin-length mahogany hair, bright red eyes, and pale skin with rosy cheeks appeared from the right. She a waifish build, and was below average in both height and weight. She was wearing a thin smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. To the casual observer, whether she was really a “she” was debatable. Her outfit consists of a green-and-yellow striped sweater, brown shorts, and a heart-shaped locket. The sweater is worn and has dark brown stains, probably from mud or something. Next to her was a surprising sight, a Decidueye with a similar look to her trainer.
In addition, Chara uses nicknames despite me telling the author twice that they don’t:
“Arrow, see to this, will you.” Chara ordered flatly, gesturing for the Decidueye to step forward.
Chara is also far too chatty:
“Arrow is part ghost type, so your fighting and normal type attacks don’t do shit.” Chara explained, clearly enjoying her opponent’s frustration.
“What did I just tell the other one?” Clay snapped.
“Lay off, Grandpa.” Chara retorted. “Arrow, Steel Wing.” the female trainer ordered.
In the next chapter, Chara turns out to be pals with the protagonist and is fine taking orders from him:
Chara was walking down the street, having just won a badge. “That was too easy, don’t you think?” she asked Arrow, who nodded. Hearing a rustling from behind, she pulled the throwing knife from her belt and threw it behind her.
Andre caught it by the handle and smirked. “You still throw like a toddler.” he stated, tossing the knife back.
“Didn’t know it was you, boss.” Chara shrugged, putting her hands behind her head. “So, what’s new?”
“The Plasmas are back.” Andre replied, “I’m gathering the gang.”
“Alright, so who’s next on the list?” Chara asked, turning to face her friend.
“The only one in the gang, and possibly the world, who you actually like.” Andre said, grinning behind his scarf.
“And where is this person?” Lias asked, coming up behind Andre.
“Who’re the brats?” Chara asked, regarding them coldly.
“Play nice, Chara,” Andre ordered, matching her tone, “The girl is a hybrid like us. The Plasmas are hunting hybrids for some reason.”
Chara actually seemed shocked by this. “Do they know where the others are?” she asked.
“Not yet, but neither do we, and I was hoping you could help us there.” Andre replied.
“So you need me again?” Chara asked teasingly. Andre shot a glare her way and she sighed. “Last I heard from Mary, she was headed for Icirus City. We should head there to find her.”
So once again, the author is jamming a round peg into a square hole. We’re also seeing regression to the mean: they’re being written as a pretty ordinary person who’s just extra violent rather than a sociopath who can’t function normally at all.
Conversation with the author reveals that this is because Andre is such a super scary villain sue that even Chara is intimidated into playing nice for him, because he can use Darkrai powers to mindrape people. The author has yet to answer my question of why Chara can’t just slit his throat in his sleep. Also something something tragic backstory where they were tortured by Team Plasma, because that makes sense.
Qualstio’s debut. Qualstio is based on the character from The Reconstruction, but aged down and given a more focused purpose. My idea was to embrace his pettiness but also give him an excuse for it by playing up his traumatic backstory, raising the question of if he would have always been a terrible person or if there are extenuating circumstances that should allow us to forgive him. The high-minded idea was to deconstruct characters like Harry Dresden: the put-upon male jerks who think the world revolves around them but who the narrative assures us are actually just misunderstood good guys deep down.
“Who are you, and what do you want?” I questioned the stranger.
He narrowed his eyes slightly and straightened out his jacket. He looked as if he had just gotten out of the local asylum, if there even was those around here.
“I am Qualstio. Why the fuck would you care?” He snapped at me.
Unfortunately, it seems that either I didn’t get Qualstio’s mannerisms across properly, or this is regression to the mean again. While he’s not as cool and collected as he likes to think he is, he’s not this bad at controlling himself, else he’d never have survived this long. Then again, it doesn’t surprise me that authors would use him to make their own misery sue look good by comparison. I’ll have to be more subtle in the future.
“Then fight both of us. Or are you too pussy?” She snarled at him.
At this point he seemed straight surprised, and the smirk was lessened considerably. He pulled out another pokeball and nodded. He then threw them out, revealing a vulpix and an abra. He also pulled out an older Pokedex model, and scanned Etelia.
“A female Blaziken with the Speed Boost ability…knows Knock Off, Thunder Punch, Sky Uppercut, Brave Bird, Blaze Kick, and Poison Jab….” He mumbled under his breath.
He nodded again, but this time in satisfaction. His Pokemon walked in front of him to battle. Me and my sister’s Pokemon side by side, facing opposite his Pokemon.
I took the first move.
“Etelia, use Knock Off on that abra!” I shouted as Cali had Magic use Wish and a follow-up Scratch on the vulpix.
He evidently wasn’t expecting that kind of combination, because he panicked and didn’t immediately order them to do anything.
“Dodge it! Don’t let them get ahold of you!” He screamed out.
It didn’t matter, as his abra had already been knocked out, and the vulpix was hanging on by a string. Magic scratched at it again, and it too fainted. Qualstio looked furious, and his eyes seemed to burn as if on fire. A sudden force intruded upon my mind, and I mentally fought it. I could barely see my twin and our Pokemon doing the same. Apparently he couldn’t keep it up for long, because it soon stopped.
He stepped back and returned his Pokemon, tired from the force exerted on us. He started to run, panickedly away from us.
And this is just stupid. His whole thing is avoiding conflict.
Another one bites the dust:
This is against rules, but I have no choice.
So I had started this story and I had a lot planned for it, but I just couldn’t get the time and thoughts together to continue it. I also made another account under the username ‘FallenLightning’, where I plan to post the fanfic due to a few problems with this one.
This fic is getting a reboot under a slightly different title from my other account and I will delete this story soon afterwards. The positive feedback on my battle scene especially was motivational, so thank you for that
If you would like to resubmit a character or submit a newer, different one, feel free to do so. Just PM me under the username ‘FallenLightning’.
Sorry for the inconvenience, I hope you still decide to follow the story based on anything you currently like about my writing. Thank you