Last day, sort of. Some good, some bad.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7787770/1/A_Model_Outlook

Well, that was vile.

[Most likely because it was dirt and rags. ]

Poor people in first-world countries usually have access to decent replacement clothing. In fact, they usually need a lot of it or they’ll freeze.

[When I finally learned to read when I was fifteen]

You can’t just “finally learn” to read past a certain age. Teaching completely illiterate teens how to read is difficult, requires a lot of time, and they’re probably never going to be fluent like someone who learned earlier. Teaching illiterate, severely neglected teens who were malnourished most of their life is going to go even worse.

[My mother didn’t work. Or, at least, not in the traditional sense. ]

Prostitution is definitely work.

[I was four at the time, and didn’t understand what was wrong, ]

Crying = sad is something humans come preloaded with. If a four year old is playing happily with her toys while her mother sobs, the kid was probably born a sociopath.

[and waited for father to return. ]

When used in place of a name, it’s capitalized.

[She loathed me; I could see it in her eyes whenever she looked at me. I still cannot fathom why she kept me if she disliked me so much. I would ask her, but expecting the dead to talk is surely a sign of insanity. If I had to guess though, it was because she was obligated by her religious or moral beliefs.]
[She didn’t beat me, or anything quite as drastic. ]

Considering they lived in a hovel and she had to have sex with people to earn food, if she actually didn’t care about her kid, she could have just stopped feeding her. Also, there’s no religion I know of that says you can’t give your kid to an orphanage. People keep kids they resent all the time because they also still care about the kid.

[The rare times that my father was home were some of the happiest. I loved him quite a lot, and he was the only reason I didn’t run from home sooner. ]

So her mom isn’t abusive and feeds her, but her father’s awesome because he comes home occasionally and apparently does nothing to provide for them.

[I realized that I hated my mother. She kept me, even though she lived in poverty. ]

And her dad doesn’t take her or even bring her to an orphanage, so I don’t see why he’s getting a pass.

[And most heinous of all, she had my father. When he was home, I did all I could so that he would spend more time with me, than with the woman he was married to. Alyssa didn’t deserve a man like my father]

Because…?

And then she leaves and runs into another man, who invites her home and feeds her and cleans her up and gets her clothing, and all he wants is for her to help out at the house. Because men who take fourteen year old girls home instead of to the police are just such nice guys!

[I didn’t like the woman. She treated him with what seemed like barely contained disdain. ]

And then the nice man murders that evil, evil bitch for not doing what he wants, and our lovely narrator lies to the police so he won’t get in trouble and that’s how she becomes a model, because a psycho who hates women is exactly how Elesa acts in canon.

“This was originally written as a sort-of background for my canon claim of Elesa.” Oh, roleplay. Could you not be the root of so many terrible decisions.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7788065/1/Joshs_kanto_adventures

This is terrible. Look up a basic grammar guide before you post.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7788130/1/Pokemon_Explorers_Destinies_Intertwined

[Today was one of those relaxing and boring days with nothing to do, and naturally I just spent the day lying in bed doing nothing. ]

Those aren’t interesting to read about, and so shouldn’t be your opening. Start when things actually start.

[I found you passed out on the beach and brought you here.” The Vulpix asked ]

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” he said or “Hello!” he said, never “Hello.” He said or “Hello.” he said or “Hello,” He said or “Hello” he said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, in which case it’s written as “Hello.” He grinned, never “Hello,” he grinned or “Hello,” He grinned or “Hello.” he grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” he said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” he said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” he said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” he said, “is it.” If there’s no speech verb in the break, you use a dash, like “Hi. This – ” He looked around. “- is it.” And the same punctuation and capitalization applies to thoughts.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

[Little did I know, this was where Clare and I’s new adventure was going to begin. ]

Not “I”, “my”.

Also, your first chapter shouldn’t be taking place before the adventure begins. You should actually be giving some sign of what the story’s going to be about by now.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7788152/1/Midsummer_Nightmare

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” he said or “Hello!” he said, never “Hello.” He said or “Hello.” he said or “Hello,” He said or “Hello” he said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, in which case it’s written as “Hello.” He grinned, never “Hello,” he grinned or “Hello,” He grinned or “Hello.” he grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” he said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” he said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” he said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” he said, “is it.” If there’s no speech verb in the break, you use a dash, like “Hi. This – ” He looked around. “- is it.” And the same punctuation and capitalization applies to thoughts.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7788482/1/Hybrid

Don’t use quotation marks for thoughts.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” he said or “Hello!” he said, never “Hello.” He said or “Hello.” he said or “Hello,” He said or “Hello” he said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, in which case it’s written as “Hello.” He grinned, never “Hello,” he grinned or “Hello,” He grinned or “Hello.” he grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” he said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” he said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” he said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” he said, “is it.” If there’s no speech verb in the break, you use a dash, like “Hi. This – ” He looked around. “- is it.” And the same punctuation and capitalization applies to thoughts.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7788484/1/Ancient_Ways

[In an age before the invention of modern pokeballs, man and monster were in harmony. Each was capable of feats beyond modern comprehension. ]

How exactly were humans capable of matching pokemon in terms of superpowers? Also, if they were, why would that make them be in harmony?

Paragraphing has rules. You start a new paragraph with a new subject. The goal is not to divide your story up into even blocks. Also, a new speaker means you start a new paragraph.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7788484/2/Ancient_Ways

[The Human boy ]

If it’s not a name, it’s not capitalized.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” he said or “Hello!” he said, never “Hello.” He said or “Hello.” he said or “Hello,” He said or “Hello” he said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, in which case it’s written as “Hello.” He grinned, never “Hello,” he grinned or “Hello,” He grinned or “Hello.” he grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” he said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” he said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” he said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” he said, “is it.” If there’s no speech verb in the break, you use a dash, like “Hi. This – ” He looked around. “- is it.” And the same punctuation and capitalization applies to thoughts.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7788684/1/I_Hope_We_Could_Meet_Again

[No one knew yet if elf and dwarf really exist. ]

Use the plural, your grammar is terrible. And yes we do.

[This story began when this girl wished, as her hands intertwined to be as one. She closed her eyes, breathing slowly. Her lips slighted apart as her voice sounding her wish. ]

Really, really terrible. Get a beta reader, this is an absolute mess.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7788755/1/Catching_Distant_Clouds

[Her mother paused her movements and sighed melodramatically, “he didn’t even do anything to deserve ignorance, Touko. I raised you better than that” she slightly scolded, ]

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” he said or “Hello!” he said, never “Hello.” He said or “Hello.” he said or “Hello,” He said or “Hello” he said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, in which case it’s written as “Hello.” He grinned, never “Hello,” he grinned or “Hello,” He grinned or “Hello.” he grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” he said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” he said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” he said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” he said, “is it.” If there’s no speech verb in the break, you use a dash, like “Hi. This – ” He looked around. “- is it.” And the same punctuation and capitalization applies to thoughts.

Write out numbers with letters.

[“Because I’m stealing you, Touko” he whispered, and without a seconds glance, he picked up the young girl, and carried her potato sack style out onto the lawn, she screamed while maliciously hitting the man in his back, though due to his recent growth, he bore no flinch towards her actions. He dominated her. ]

…well, disturbing, but I’m glad you seem to recognize this is messed up and horrible, not romantic.

[My excuse is that they’re freakin’ adorable.
anyways! I hopees you likes this! Sorry its so spontaneous & short.
its like it physically impossible for me to create long stories. ehehe.
N is so cute, & Touko has the most boss pair of daisy duke’s i’ve ever seen C: ]

…or not.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7788828/1/Princess_Maid

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” he said or “Hello!” he said, never “Hello.” He said or “Hello.” he said or “Hello,” He said or “Hello” he said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, in which case it’s written as “Hello.” He grinned, never “Hello,” he grinned or “Hello,” He grinned or “Hello.” he grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” he said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” he said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” he said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” he said, “is it.” If there’s no speech verb in the break, you use a dash, like “Hi. This – ” He looked around. “- is it.” And the same punctuation and capitalization applies to thoughts.

This seems like original fiction.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7789230/1/Ebony

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” he said or “Hello!” he said, never “Hello.” He said or “Hello.” he said or “Hello,” He said or “Hello” he said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, in which case it’s written as “Hello.” He grinned, never “Hello,” he grinned or “Hello,” He grinned or “Hello.” he grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” he said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” he said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” he said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” he said, “is it.” If there’s no speech verb in the break, you use a dash, like “Hi. This – ” He looked around. “- is it.” And the same punctuation and capitalization applies to thoughts.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Use spellcheck.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7789563/1/Masked

[Blue gave a breathy sigh, “I do as well but it’s the only way.” ]

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” he said or “Hello!” he said, never “Hello.” He said or “Hello.” he said or “Hello,” He said or “Hello” he said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, in which case it’s written as “Hello.” He grinned, never “Hello,” he grinned or “Hello,” He grinned or “Hello.” he grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” he said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” he said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” he said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” he said, “is it.” If there’s no speech verb in the break, you use a dash, like “Hi. This – ” He looked around. “- is it.” And the same punctuation and capitalization applies to thoughts.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7789950/1/Lucarios_Sorrow

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” he said or “Hello!” he said, never “Hello.” He said or “Hello.” he said or “Hello,” He said or “Hello” he said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, in which case it’s written as “Hello.” He grinned, never “Hello,” he grinned or “Hello,” He grinned or “Hello.” he grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” he said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” he said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” he said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” he said, “is it.” If there’s no speech verb in the break, you use a dash, like “Hi. This – ” He looked around. “- is it.” And the same punctuation and capitalization applies to thoughts.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7790300/1/Pokemon_Advanced_Revolution

Your story is not an actual TV show, it does not need a transcript for an opening song. I can’t believe I have to explain that.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

After this point I start running into a ton of deleted stories. What’s really confusing is there were still ones that were obviously rule-breaking but still up, so it doesn’t seem like it was a crackdown. Maybe people were trying to avoid me and figured they’d just wait the extra day? No idea.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7790766/1/The_Days_at_Rusboro_High_School

This is terrible. Look up a basic grammar guide before you post.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7790957/1/Pokemon_Gijinka_New_Horizons

[small team of scientists were working with the DNA of Pokémon from around the world for the use of medicine for humans, like Chansey genes as an antibody ]

That’s not how antibodies work.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

[the greatest of safety precautions were taken to prevent it from getting loose into the environment, for it would be attracted to the humans it was designed for. No expense was spared to keep it under control. ]

That’s not how DNA works.

[At first, Gijinka were viewed as abominations. Wars were fought in the streets between trainers and Gijinka. ]

Why would they immediately get classed as abominations instead of deformed humans? I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but very few societies wage war against people who are disfigured in some accident. No one says, “Well, those people have smallpox scars, let’s hunt them in the streets!”

[When the fights got too severe, the government of the Kanto and Johto regions intervened. They put laws in place stating that all Gijinka have the same unalienable rights as humans. ]

Why wouldn’t they say this immediately given all of them actually are humans. It’d be one thing if these were pokemon taking on human traits, but they’re solely ordinary humans with parents and friends.

[Austin was lucky. Upon discovering that their children had become Gijinka, most parents kicked them out of the house to fend for themselves ]

Another thing few societies do is kick their six year old children out for getting sick, and none of them are modern ones.

[“All right, the rules are simple,” said the ref, “Trainers only use one Pokémon each. The battle is over when one team is unable the battle. Trainer Nicholas, select your Pokémon.” ]

If you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” he said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” he said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” he said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” he said, “is it.” If there’s no speech verb in the break, you use a dash, like “Hi. This – ” He looked around. “- is it.” And the same punctuation and capitalization applies to thoughts.

Look, the actual kid gets pokemon thing was done competently, and a setting with some people being part pokemon could be interesting. But adopting the same idiotic backstory as every other pokemorph fic, where people immediately decide the answer is to slaughter them, is not such a great decision. And on the other side of things, this story has yet to give any sign what being part-pokemon means for people besides involving them in the idiotic persecution subplot.

All pokemorph stories are always focused on the poor oppressed pokemorphs thing and never the people have turned into mini nukes thing.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7791092/1/Emiles_Story

[The back door (I don’t know what it’s called) ]

“Back door” works fine. Don’t put notes in your story.

Repeating the opening of the games isn’t interesting. Repeating the same jokes complaining about the truck as every other story about that opening definitely isn’t.

Write out numbers with letters.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” he said or “Hello!” he said, never “Hello.” He said or “Hello.” he said or “Hello,” He said or “Hello” he said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, in which case it’s written as “Hello.” He grinned, never “Hello,” he grinned or “Hello,” He grinned or “Hello.” he grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” he said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” he said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” he said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” he said, “is it.” If there’s no speech verb in the break, you use a dash, like “Hi. This – ” He looked around. “- is it.” And the same punctuation and capitalization applies to thoughts.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7791927/1/A_Pokeventure

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Don’t switch first person POV, just write in third.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” he said or “Hello!” he said, never “Hello.” He said or “Hello.” he said or “Hello,” He said or “Hello” he said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, in which case it’s written as “Hello.” He grinned, never “Hello,” he grinned or “Hello,” He grinned or “Hello.” he grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” he said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” he said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” he said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” he said, “is it.” If there’s no speech verb in the break, you use a dash, like “Hi. This – ” He looked around. “- is it.” And the same punctuation and capitalization applies to thoughts.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7791999/1/Legend_of_Faye

The next story turned out to actually be good and my reviews talk about what happened in it, so you may want to read it now instead of continuing.

Hm. This looks interesting, and it’s nice to see the focus put on everyone’s reaction to the legendary instead of the legendary itself.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7791999/2/Legend_of_Faye

And wow, things have gotten epic. It’s an interesting balance here, the moltres this unstoppable force before the combined trainers, and yet at the same time, Faye actually being able to go up against it, even if it is incredibly dangerous.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7791999/3/Legend_of_Faye

[“I should have realised if one of them was there, the other one would show up, and I was still flying around on a bloody water-type. And… you know. Everyone told me I didn’t know what I was doing.” ]

I love the practicality of this. It’s not that she should have realized both scary god pokemon would appear so fighting was futile. It’s that she should have been ready for electric attacks. I’m not sure she completely learned the lesson of not messing with legendaries or if it’s just that she’ll have to be sure she can take on all of them.

Also, yay for the articuno being hateful instead of forgiving them all just because they finally released it under incredible duress.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7792154/1/The_return_to_the_past

[AN: This is my first story ever and it may be really bad cause I’m 13 years old and are from Sweden so I hope you can forgive me for bad spelling and wrong word ]

No. This site has beta readers. Get a beta reader who isn’t from Sweden and/or isn’t thirteen to correct your mistakes.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7792386/1/The_Three_Poketeers

This is terrible. Look up a basic grammar guide before you post.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7792936/1/New_Worlds_Symphony

[The Squirtle ]

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

[My mind flashed back to an article in the Pallet Post a year ago. “Ace Trainers Release Pokémon!” it blared. “Pallet Town-Viridian City route overrun by Pidgeots and Raticates!” I guess a couple of trainers had felt bad about capturing Pokémon and decided to let them go… They were quoted in the article as to having been persuaded by a Team something-or-other. Phantasm? Orgasm? I’d forgotten… I snapped back to the present. “This road is filled with powerful Pokémon. I’m here to make sure you don’t get hurt.” ]

This is an interesting idea. Not enough people think about what sort of changes humans might cause to the world. Why haven’t other experienced trainers showed up to catch them, though?

[“When we arrived at Viridian City, I and Gallade- still a Ralts back then- did a bit of training and tried to continue on our journey. The Viridian Gym Leader blocked our way. He said only Pokémon native to Kanto could go into the Viridian Forest. I tried to explain to him that Ralts weren’t an invasive specie, but he would have none of it. Ralts and I had to go back to Pallet Town. ]

Invasive species. Species is singular.

And this doesn’t make sense. There’s no reason he couldn’t have caught a native pokemon with Ralts’ help, left his starter at the pokecenter, and walked through the forest then retrieved his pokemon on the other side.

Also it just doesn’t make sense that a gym leader could do this when so many trainers must have mixed teams, and there’s no sign that the traditional starters are Kanto natives.

[The Pidgeot’s gaze seemed to soften a little. Finally, she chirruped a soft, melancholy goodbye and slowly flew away.]

Nice to see things resolved peacefully instead of just endless battles.

[I knew she was one of the Pokémon abandoned by the Ace Trainers, and felt nothing but pity. She must have thought I was her trainer… ]

If they miss their trainers, why haven’t people solved the problem by giving them to new trainers?

Also, ace trainer is gamespeak. It makes sense for a newpaper article to talk about it that way, but you can’t treat it like it’s an actual group title.

Unsure of this. It’s got some nice notes so I’d like to stick it in the decent C2, but it’s also got wallbangers.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7793095/1/Acceleration_and_Expansion_Diamond_and_Pearl

Write out numbers with letters.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” he said or “Hello!” he said, never “Hello.” He said or “Hello.” he said or “Hello,” He said or “Hello” he said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, in which case it’s written as “Hello.” He grinned, never “Hello,” he grinned or “Hello,” He grinned or “Hello.” he grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” he said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” he said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” he said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” he said, “is it.” If there’s no speech verb in the break, you use a dash, like “Hi. This – ” He looked around. “- is it.” And the same punctuation and capitalization applies to thoughts.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7793801/1/Pokemon_Quest

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” he said or “Hello!” he said, never “Hello.” He said or “Hello.” he said or “Hello,” He said or “Hello” he said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, in which case it’s written as “Hello.” He grinned, never “Hello,” he grinned or “Hello,” He grinned or “Hello.” he grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” he said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” he said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” he said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” he said, “is it.” If there’s no speech verb in the break, you use a dash, like “Hi. This – ” He looked around. “- is it.” And the same punctuation and capitalization applies to thoughts.

I’m not sure what to make of this. You’re making Oak a copy of the game, right down to ALLCAPS words, which really doesn’t work outside of a joke story. But the rest of it seems to be written like a regular OT fic. At least you have Blue winning.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7794065/1/Pokemon_Mystery_Dungeon_a_Special_Destiny