January Romance Pokeauthors, Week 4

Mopping up the last few stragglers. Mostly boring, though one author got hilariously affronted at the concept of someone criticizing porn.

Also, “I’m respecting you by not blocking you.”

re: Your review to I Just Want To Win
59m agoDRADX
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12286315/
chill out with the quotation marks thing or at least tone it down i’ve seen some good stores use Single quotes an no one complains about it.

I didn’t even give the message about single quotes for this one so I have no idea what they’re talking about.

re: Your review to Company
39m agoShinenite
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12333412/ 

Thanks for the feedback! This is practically my first attempt at writing anything like this, so it’s nice to see what can be improved, especially since English isn’t my native language. Proper formatting and capitalisation is something I tend to lack at times. I’ll take a look through the story with your advice in mind and fix what I notice.

Your Review
2h agoShivero
Hey, I made a Pokemon fan fiction called Aeroes a while back, and I abandoned it due to circumstances with my family. I just got to read your review and I want to thank you for not sugar coating it. I had some people I know review it, and they didn’t bother to help. They just praised the trash I had made. I want to thank you for your review and I will take it into account when I write my new stories. Thank you.
Thank you for speaking up.
1h agoSolopuppy
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12334725/ 

I don’t object to what you say. I’m quite inexperienced at the format this website takes or should follow, so to have someone tell me makes me grateful you told me now.To refer to the beginning of your review, while it is true the scene takes place “mid-scene” as you would put it, it simply continues immediately from the end of the previous one. Whether you’ve read that one is up to you, however it would be advised to since this IS technically supposed to be a continuation to that. As to why I decided to make it a separate story, it’s because it is. While it shares the characters from the first, the story is in itself different and is not the same in that concept. In that sense, it’s more like a second chapter to a story. If this is frowned upon in this community, please do share. I’ll be happy to move my works to another website should it be against the wishes of the people who read my works, however badly written they may be.Regarding your second issue, I wholeheartedly agree. I’ve gone onto the thread you suggested and seen the argument against capitalising Pokemon species. While I would prefer to leave “Pokemon” in lower case, Google really does not like leaving Pokemon in lower case, so I might leave it as it is. If this bothers you, please do speak up again. As the the species, ie. cyndaquil, darkrai, etc., while I am more used to capitalising them due to habit, it could serve me well to leave them in lower case. At least for the time being. If I get complaints or questioned on why I changed it, I may change my mind. But for the time being, I shall go along with your suggestion.

Overall, I’d like to thank you for saying something to help me improve as a writer. I’m still very new to something like this so getting helpful feedback helps a lot. I hope you enjoy the story as it goes along, and if not, then that’s your prerogative. Once again, I’d like to thank you for helping me understand some things I did not know/ understand before you messaged.

A grateful writer,
Solopuppy

re: Your review to Frozen Charm
1h agoItWasGlace
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12334171/ 

If it makes your temper feel better, this story wasn’t really meant to be too publicly seen since I only posted the rough draft… that was typed on NotePad 1 week ago (I already rewrote multiple chapters last night when I published this first part to get the actual file out there). Also, just because you do not believe that Pokémon fanfics involving high school are not interesting does not make it any less enjoyable for others. We all have opinions and your may not suit what I am writing about. I guess if you don’t enjoy what I’m writing, just don’t read it! 3

secs ago[this story wasn’t really meant to be too publicly seen since I only posted the rough draft]

Then why did you post it.

[Also, just because you do not believe that Pokémon fanfics involving high school are not interesting]

I said no such thing.

7h agoI put it out there as a personal reminder to start working on the story once I got home from work, you also said that it was unnecessary to bring Pokèmon into a high school setting, that was how I interpreted it, your tone makes me wonder a bit more than with other people, that’s all.
Ya Review
7m agopsytronix
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12334885/ 

And that’s, y’know, your opinion, Elmo.Thanks for the review.

secs agoGrammar is not a matter of opinion.

11h agoYou and I, sir, just have two different ways of doing things. For me, speech and the block describing who said it, and how, are two different sentences all together. And, having dialogue run on for more than one line is just poor writing/layout.With every new line of dialogue, and yes, to me, this includes after an ellipsis from a character, you should have a new line for it.

Thanks for your time.

secs ago[For me, speech and the block describing who said it, and how, are two different sentences all together.]

They aren’t. Please read an actual book sometime and pay attention to how it formats dialogue.

3m agoSure they are! To me, in the least. You had no reason whatsoever to write that review, but hey, that was your opinion in action, man.How are you doing, by the way?

secs agoYou believe that “She said.” is a complete sentence?

50m agoNot complete, no, but a sentence in and on itself.

How’d your New Year celebrations go?

secs agoIt is a sentence fragment. Speech verbs require a referent; in this case, it is the dialogue itself. Once again, read a book.

13m agoElmo, mate, this is literary pornography.

I mean no offence, but what do you hope to accomplish here beyond talking shit?

secs ago[Elmo, mate, this is literary pornography.]

So?

I am hoping to improve the grammar of the stories here.

3m agoThere’s no need to quote what you’re replying to, I get you. I may be retarded, but that doesn’t mean I’m stupid.

Like, this is porn. Literary porn. Why do you care about improving the quality of grammar here?

secs ago[I may be retarded, but that doesn’t mean I’m stupid.]

You clearly don’t understand what “retarded” means, so I think it does, actually.

[Like, this is porn. Literary porn. Why do you care about improving the quality of grammar here?]

Why do you place such little value in your own work?

3m agoYou are taking me too literally, and I’m taking the piss, Elmo.WHAT ARE YOU

Also, who says I’m placing little value in my own stuff? I’m just bamfuckinboozled on why someone would come here and criticise porn, man.

secs ago[Also, who says I’m placing little value in my own stuff?]Well, you seem to be saying that your story is meaningless trash that isn’t worth the effort of making it comprehensible. So I’d say you are.

[I’m just bamfuckinboozled on why someone would come here and criticise porn, man.]

Because I criticize everything. Your story just happened to be included in that category.

However, if you, personally, don’t want my criticism, you can block me.

2m agoI rarely block people. I just love to talk shit.You’re very robotic if you can’t parse the scene, man.

In what category?

Also, can you read this? Ȩ͈̜̠͙̥̱͙͇͕̩͕͎̯͎ͤ̅ͭ̈́̀̎ͮ̔̏ͭͬ̒͂̓ͫ͋͐̚͢͟L̢̃̈́̑͒ͩ̒̈́ͣ́̅̆̓͏̮̘̳̬̗̭͖̟͓̞̩͡͝ͅͅM̡̛̖̳̗͍̜̪̜̪̫͓͚̼̤̗̤̼̩ͫ̐͌͊̋͌ͯ͠Ȍ̬̮̰̗̪̩̮̲͇̟̯͋̉͒ͧ̿̎ͩ̚͞͝͡’̴͉͔͈͙͇̦̼͉̗̫̺̠̒͂̏̎̀́ͬͣ͛͊ͯ͛͒͑ͭ̐̀S͖̰͈͈̱͈̙͎̞͕͑ͣ̽͆́̀͢ ͍̦̙͕͙͔̪̻͚̾͗ͪ͂ͥ͛͟͡͝W̨̿̏̃̉̃̆ͫ̅̀̀҉̯̘͍̳͚O̜̳̹̗̗̬͎̟̹̼ͧ̂̅ͮ̊ͭ̇̆ͦ̓̊ͣ͘R̟̭̟͖͙̫͚͈̩̜̬̫͉̖͋̈́̑̽͊̓̉̿̔͑́̚͘͜ͅͅͅL̨̠̼̮͖̞̺̠̗̳̖̳̍͆̔̿ͮ̌̈̋͛̂ͯ͆ͪ̈́̑̽ͫͦ̂͝D̏̎͂̀̃̔̕҉̷̯̤̱̯̯͔̺̘̟͇̘͝ ̔̇̐̄̌̒̐ͯ͒̑ͯ̓̍̾͐̊̍͏̨̬̦̮̦̫͉͚̻͚͜D̴̬͖̼͚̗̉ͬ̌ͦ̋̈̈̌Ǫ̟͇̫̐̇̄̏̓͛ͥ̈́̈́̂ͥ̉͒̏͛ ̛͎̪̲̭̘̲͔͕͖̲̱̺ͯ̽ͦͥ͒ͧ̏́͢ͅY̶̵̹̦͙̟͈̱̮̻̠̗̺͖̗̜̘̊͊̉̾̑̍̉͗Ö́̄̇̓ͬ̔͑ͫͪͯ͂ͨ͏̶̶̢̗̞̳̟͇̼͈͙U̢̩̣͕̦͓̱̽̄̋̒ͤ͂̋̐͋̉̽̔̂̐̊̔ͮ̕͜ ͨ́́͆̐̆̇̓ͨͦ̾̅ͬͨ̃҉̵͓̻̠͈̥̼̺͖̲̭̰̖͚̺͎̺̭͟͝ͅG̴̰̼̙͔̏ͦͬͮ̿̓̓̑̚Ḝ̜͓̝̮̞̳̩̞̬̭̺̫̘̞̰̭̲̰̯ͥͮ̆͛̓̓̇ͯ̊̈̒̈́͛̍͂ͧ͛́̚Ṫ̸̸̪̭̬̺̫̬̺ͩ̉ͩ̈́͊̄̅̊̍ͯ͡ ̡͈̦̦̺͕͇͉ͮͩ̂̂̊̂͗͘T̶̢̧̝̝̙̰̬̣̘͚̪̺̟̤̱̩̞̤̭͌̄̿̿̽̀ͮ͆̊ͤ̿͐̍͐͢ͅH̨̳̜̬͈̰̍͂̅̒ͤ̓͛̀͡͠E̵̶̢̜͈̳̖͓̬̭̹͂͐ͯ͑͑̐̄ͨ̋ͫ͢͟ͅ ̶̴̰͎̞̜̫͖͔̠̭̙̩ͪͤ̏ͣ̍͒̐ͨ̆̊̓͐͂̃͗͌̏̀̚͜͝J̴̧̢͚͖͇͖̦̪͓̜̪̝̲̘͖̯̦͇ͧ́̓͑͆͊̑ͫͬͫͪ̃͌̉̅́͟Oͦ͆ͫ̌̽̂̍̀̋̃̍̉͑̂҉̷̞̤̤̺̳̜̖̱̹̱͈̰̗̤͘K̴̶͉̺͕̺̪̱̝̞̥ͯ̑̀͛̈́͒̈́͊ͨ́͘E̿ͮ̋͗̔̑̌͗͒̃͝҉̙̤͖̦̺͇͕̺̣̰͍͓̺̠ͅ ̹̫̺̞̬̖͚͓ͨͨ͌͗ͧ͂̔̔̒̔̐̈́͌̅ͬ̋̂͌̽̕͠͡E̺͇̦̼͓͇͎̓ͪ͂ͯ̈̊ͬ̆̓ͬ̒̀̎́͢L͓̝͙̦̫̺͕͔̤̮̮̺̥ͦ͑ͬ͆̒ͪͬ̋̌͟͜Ṃ̷͇̺͖͉͚̓͋ͮͤ͂͑̊͛̓̆͗͛̑͂ͨ͢͠ͅƠ̷̤̲̥̠̫̩̯̻͕̒͌ͮ̿̅̾͛ͥͩ̌͒ͫͫ͜

24m agoHuh. You know what? You may be right.

My bad, Elmo.

???
Review you wrote
3m agoMr.obviouse
Sorry its not up to par with my normal writing ability, I had to post it from my galaxy s3 mini, I have my laptop now and I’m going to fix it as soon as possible, oh and I wright OK because that’s what I’m used to doing, If its really that big of a deal than I can change it.
P.s. About the whole crappy description, I cant think of how to summarize the story without giving away a major spoiler, so that’s honestly the best I can do, if you think you can do better send it to me and I’ll give you credit for it.
thank you for your help
5h agoMilesDavyJones
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12331579/ 

Hi Elmo,Thank you so much for taking the time to not only read my story but also make such a long PB with so much information.
I am still very new to this thing and community and your message is extremely helpful and I will definitely
use it to improve myself.Thank you.

re: Your review to PokéLemons
4h agoLunarrio
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12335068/ 

I keep on forgetting about the capitalization on pokemon’s names as half the time I name the pokemon what the species is.I forgot to delete the chapter in the story – I write it on WordCounter to see how many words I have and what words I am too repetitious of.I also forget about the dialogue. I also meant to make the second part not capitalized at the start, for the second part of the quote. I was half asleep when I wrote it, so I will go back and correct the mistakes and make sure that these aren’t problems in future chapters.

Thanks for telling me that.

re: Your review to Mithradite
8h agoLeikiz
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12335622/ 

That’s… that’s a really good point. I checked my older Pokemon stuff, and I did it there too. I have literally never noticed it.Thanks for pointing it out. I’ll try to remember it if I do any more Pokemon stuff.I appreciate it.

re: Your review to She Is Love
1m agoT2 Angel
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12336965/ 

Thank you again. Please do not contact me again.

secs agoDo you not know how to block people?
37m agoI do. But I’m asking you politely. I’ve made it clear before that I have written the stories in a way I’m comfortable with. I’m respecting you by not blocking you. Please respect me in that I understand your critiques but I have written the stories in a way I am comfortable with.
secs agoNo, that’s stupid. If you don’t want me to interact with you, block me. How do you think it’s more respectful to make me have to remember every single person who doesn’t want me to review them? This is what the block feature is for. Use it.
21m agoNow, you’re being rude and disrespectful. Good bye.

Took them a weirdly long time to block me, but they finally did.

re: Your review to Dreams Redeemed
1h agoLeaflame
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12337090/ 

Thanks a lot for your review. Since I am new to this, what you told me will definitely help when it comes to formatting grammar. Actually, I did put in new paragraphs for new speakers, but somehow it turned up as a single paragraph. It would be nice if you could tell other friends of yours on FFN so that they can view it too. Thanks again.Keep smiling,
Leaflame.

 
re: Your review to I Wouldn’t Mind That
22m agoMossDeepThinker
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12336489/ 

You’ve reviewed both my other stories, talking about capitalisation. Honestly, I’ll do it how I think fits. Grammatically correct or not, this is at no detriment to anyone’s reading.Yeah, I’d think of a better excuse for why I used ‘adorned’, but no. That was ignorance.I’ve changed the story to a T, I’d have to agree in retrospect. Also, I was implying that Serena was talking about Calem turning 16, as she mentioned that Calem wasn’t even that old. In the UK at least, you have to be 16.

I was imagining a very teasy, jokey Serena when I wrote this. It was meant to sound a little creepy, but I should have explained Serena’s character a bit more.

Overall, not my best writing. Thanks for reviewing, anyhow!

secs ago[Grammatically correct or not, this is at no detriment to anyone’s reading.]

If it’s grammatically incorrect, it is a detriment to reading. Grammar exists to make writing easy to understand. As a specific example, the canon tends to use pokemon species as a given name, e.g. Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. I am sure you can see how capitalizing all instances of pokemon species is confusing in that context.

1h agoOkay, anyone’s but your reading.
Thanks
52m agoAnonymous Trainer
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12338724/ 

First of all thanks for your review, and no I am not going to object you as you are right. I will correct the mistakes in the first chapter and be careful in the further chapters.

Regarding the Review
1h agoThank you for pointing out the mistakes I will be sure to refrain from making them again.
You have given me valuable inputs about the grammatical and structural errors present in the story, but you didn’t say anything about the story itself, as in its plot and other things.
My story and your advice
1m agoMikeJason007
Okay, I get it I’m not tarde A material, but thanks so much dude. I was confused as to what the fuck am I supposed to do. This review is so helpful lad. Thanks
Your Review
35m agoYusei-pal473
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12339560/ 

Appreciate your critique, pal. Now let me let you in on a little something: Everyone’s a critic. It just depends on the author and whether or not their writing style is going to change. I’m a stubborn piece of work, so you’re preaching to the choir.However, I will tell you this: If you actually read the damned summary AND the A/N at the beginning, you would know that this is a request from the core of justice and that Zyon is his OC. Putting the theme song in was his idea, not mine. The only two times I would ever use a song in a fic are:1) If it’s a one-shot songfic.

2) If I felt like doing something silly.

On a normal basis, I wouldn’t even consider it.

re: Your review to Dissonance and Harmony
4m agoatryius
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12333754/ 

Thanks for this review! I see some authors write like: ‘”Hello,” he said.’, and it can confuse me sometimes, but I use it nonetheless.Thanks for the tip!

I apologise for my mistakes. I’m a new user.
36m agoDr.GreenAndMr.Blue
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12340754/ 

1: You are right, that first ‘or’ shouldn’t be there.2: It’s more like a family thing that I have, we ‘capitalize’ greetings very often in my own language. But yes, I am aware of my mistake, and I sincerely apologise for it.3: Indeed. I am not an american, I’m from another country. But I’d rather not talk about it. I am ashamed of my country.

4: Hmm…Now that you mentioned that, yes…She could’ve used her powers. I apologise once again for my mistake.

5: Actually, when I was writing this part, I imagined snivy using her vines to perform this actions, but it seems that I haven’t explained how she did those actions. I sincerely thank you for showing my mistakes to me. I am a new user around here, so I’m still learning how to do good chapters, and learning a bit more of English.

I once again thank you for showing my mistakes, and I apologise for them. Thank you for reading my fanfic, anyways. I appreciate it. Have a good day.

Thanks
6m agoTheFranticShiper
Thank you for telling me how to improve the story. I will try harder!
re: Your review to If I Could Reach You
1h agoLucidClockwork
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12342502/ 

Hey there! Thanks for taking some time to review my story! I really appreciate it.Thanks for the constructive criticism too, I’ll do my best to edit my mistakes but however for the mass comma usage, I don’t think I’ll be able to fix that. Of course, I’ll try my best to improve my writing but it’s hard to simply change a writing style. My writing skills are fairly rusty and I’m not very proud of this chapter as I am with my other stories, I’m just glad that there are reviewers like these who can help me hone my skills.I hope you enjoy the rest of my story!

re: Your review to Beach Day
11h agoJolty11
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12343761/ 

Thanks for leaving a review and giving me some pointers! I’ll try to keep those in mind when I decide to write again. I try my best when I write, although grammar was never my best subject. For capitalization I just did it because the games did. I can see what you mean by overusage of some words, too. I was in a bit of a hurry to get this one published. I want my writing to be the best it can be for my readers, and I really appreciate it when people such as you point out little things like this that I should pay attention to in order to improve my skills. Thanks again!

okay
16h agoCrestICEing00
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12345881/ 

im sorry about the errors did you at least like the story so far?

secs agoI can comment on the story when I can read the story.
 
re: Your review to Vera’s Diary
14h agopolo5004
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12346050/ 

I agree with all your advice and I rewrote the chapter based on that (So if anybody sees you complaining about something that seems to be absent, consider your comment to be my trophy of shame). I will also take this in mind when writing new chapters.However, I have to nitpick something. I think your last paragraph is wrong. For example, at the end of the first chapter, Nicky used shadow ball on Vera. While in the pokemon world this would not be that uncommon, it’s not something you could see in a real life-based original fiction.Sure, I could probably make an original fiction where there’s an explanation for this, but it would be too time consuming for something I meant as a silly project (Also, i suck at descriptions, especially for characters).

Otherwise, I feel your advice was spot on. Thank you.

Also, Legendaries are still capitalized because, like in the games, there’s only one of each. These are technically their names.

secs ago[However, I have to nitpick something. I think your last paragraph is wrong. For example, at the end of the first chapter, Nicky used shadow ball on Vera. While in the pokemon world this would not be that uncommon, it’s not something you could see in a real life-based original fiction.]

That doesn’t make them pokemon, that just makes them humans with magic powers. You could easily write original fiction about that; God knows there’s a million stories like that already. If you’re writing for a specific fandom, the elements you choose to use should be important. Is there something you want to do or say by making these characters pokemon that you can’t do in a mundane setting? If not, you should just write a mundane setting.

Also, I recommend you get a beta reader. There’s a thread here: https://www.fanfiction.net/topic/11834/42724996/1/Beta-Signup

8 Comments

  1. Hinebras says:
    “Elmo, mate, this is literary pornography.”
    Hey, porn is not immune to criticism!
    We deserve better quality to jerk off to. Ask any porn site with premium memberships.



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  2. APen says:

    [this is literary pornography]

    Did they mean literally pornography? Because I’m not quite sure what literary porn would entail. Porn with literary devices and decent grammar?




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    1. Keltena says:

      Alternately, maybe they meant “literary porn” in the same way people mean “food porn” or “scenery porn”: gratuitous ~literary~ writing and flourishes with no real purpose or meaning behind it all except to appeal to people who enjoy those things. …Which, honestly, I would find much more tolerable than when done unintentionally.




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      1. mcbender says:

        I think they were actually trying to say “it’s just written porn” because literary just means writing, don’t you know? That’s the only way I can square the phrase with the dismissiveness they want to go along with it.




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        1. Act says:

          This was my interpretation as well.




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  3. Act says:

    Neither here nor there, but: I always like seeing the back-and-forth you have with authors; I think it’s interesting.




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  4. Hyatt says:
    Huh. I actually recognize one of the authors, from another fandom.



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