Today, questions about pokemon personhood, some of which are N related.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12802801/1/Castle-of-Veracity

This is a summary, not a prologue. It’d be okay to have this on top of your actual first chapter but it shouldn’t be posted by itself.

Write out numbers with letters.

[It’s been 2 years since Ghetsis succeeded in liberating most of Unova’s pokemon.]

So, the problem here is that N and Ghetsis had very different ideas about what the final situation should look like. N wanted pokemon to run around freely somewhere there were no humans, Ghetsis wanted all the pokemon in one big pile that was just for him. And the end of the game strongly suggests he was planning to take N out the instant he stopped needing the guy.

Now, it’s not impossible that Plasma could continue to have something resembling the co-rulership we see during the game. N is surprisingly easy to isolate and even easier to manipulate, and there could be a situation where Ghetsis thinks he needs N to finish consolidating power and/or Ghetsis is concerned that the dragons will take him down if he tries a direct attack.

But that’s what this summary should be focused on. N and Ghetsis coexisting is extremely implausible, so you need to spend time explaining how that works. Similarly, [After successfully obtaining both legendary dragons, all the Unovan’s pokemon were captured.] – how did they get both dragons? Did the protagonist decide to join N? Did the protagonist not exist and N triggered the second dragon later on? Did the protagonist’s loss mean that truth and ideals were both on N’s side? Almost all the legendary pokemon seem to be pokemon more than legends, but the two dragons actually do seem to key off of truth/ideals in some way and don’t operate independently.

[Rumors that Reshiram has escaped ]

So what would that look like? How can truth “escape” when it seems to appear based on if a suitable person is around, so it’d just disappear again if they weren’t? And again, why wouldn’t this lead to a clash between N and Ghetsis?

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12802820/1/Lawrence-of-Michigan

[The snow fell. And it fell, and it fell, and fell. The gale-force wind blew against the walls and into the room. ]

It seems like there aren’t collapsed walls or broken windows, so a combination of snow and wind shouldn’t lead to gusts inside the house. Insulating is the one thing a heavy snow’s good at.

[From the boy’s jacket, he pulled a cast iron ankh]

If you’ve got a magic dohicky that turns people into pokemon or human/pokemon hybrids, I’d suggest some shape that isn’t a specific religious shape. And him turning into a riolu/lucario doesn’t have any more to do with Egypt than him turning into any other pokemon would, if that was the reasoning you were going with.

[The boy did not like domestics. It bored him.]

Okay, so, he’s not being asked to do chores, and she’s not talking about anything to do with the house in any other way, which leaves either he refers to his own mother as a “domestic” or, I really hope, you mean like “domestic policy” because she’s talking about Nixon and weren’t aware that “domestics” means something else entirely.

[The sound of a 1949 Chevrolet Suburban roared near the forest, drawing closer until. . .collision. The SUV crashed into a tree, nearly taking it down and crumpling in the hood.]

The details in this are really weird. He didn’t merely hear a car, he heard the sound of this exact model? Meanwhile he has no idea what the tree right in front of him is.

[Lawrence hopped onto the side of the car to look inside. There were three emptied beer bottles, confirming his suspicions. ]

This seems forced. Most drinking and driving, especially in snowy weather, involves first going to a bar and then later going home. And the people who do drink while driving are remarkably fond of chucking the bottles out the window as they go. And the driver is currently splattered all over and he’s just calmly circling to see if he can find a way to feel self-righteous – you realize cars crash all the time in snowy weather just because it’s slippery, right?

[“Hey, Law, your ears look a bit weird. They’re attached now, they weren’t just yesterday.”]

Seriously, who notices this stuff? You tell the average person that there’s a difference between attached and unattached and they’ll often have to check their own ears to remember which it is. I could buy his friends noticing something was different, could buy them narrowing it down to his ears (especially if it’s several people noticing together), and him personally knowing, but for one person to glance at him and immediately know exactly what’s different is a real stretch, if not as much of one as the car.

[Rather, he tried, but his handwriting was exceptionally poor due to the fact he didn’t really have a thumb anymore. At least it was still legible, so he grabbed some tape and affixed it to his door, some of his new fur sticking to the tape. At least it was easy proof, without them actually seeing him. Then again, it’s not like it couldn’t have been any other blue strands. He wrote a bit in his notebook, but didn’t ultimately have a lot to do. He tried card games, but that got old, then he tried drawing, but he wasn’t great at that]

So you know that hands turning into paws is doing to do bad things to fine motor skills – but after he struggles to write a simple note, he’s still able to write small enough for a notebook, manipulate cards, then draw. Try doing all that in mittens with your thumb taped to your palm.

There’s a bizarre review from the author on this one.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12803043/1/A-Pokemon-s-Betrayal

Got this author before.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12803123/1/Shudo-cross-Modern-Ash-The-Trainer-who-Questions-Humanity

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things – or used in place of one, like “mom” can be. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

[What if Shudo era ideas and concepts stuck around]

It’d help if you were slightly clearer on what you’re referring to. The fact people on the forum you’re on have talked about this to death doesn’t mean people on a completely different site will know exactly what conclusions you guys reached. Even making a guess you’re referring to the talk about what the original anime’s ideas were, [In Shudo-verse people like Lysandre and even Cyrus? They make sense. The world they live in is fundamentally broken. ] is not at all what I got out of it. I’m not even disagreeing here, I have no idea what the chain of reasoning was to connect those two thoughts together. If you’re going to have a big author’s note explaining your premise, it should be intelligible to people who aren’t reading exactly the same stuff you are already.

[It was early in his journey, something children all around the world were expected to take in some way, shape, or form. Once you graduated school after ten years (a pre-learning socialization period and nine tiers of further learning), society expected you to leave home if you were not tied by trade or labor and see the world.]

Especially when we can already see this isn’t at all using the starting point of kids are expected to do this at ten when them being considered independent at that age was even more explicitly part of the Shudo setup.

[Most became low paying, low skill jobs, the underpinning of society with their dreams lost in an abyss of misery. Some joined criminal gangs like Team Rocket. Every kid at age fifteen vowed to not be this, few managed to avoid it.]

And it’s not like it makes sense with this stuff. If your pokeworld is a dystopia where the 99% are miserable and underpaid, why not send them off at ten? Why bother forcing extra education on them then sending them out into the world right when they’d be useful in those low skill jobs? Like, in America, you can make fourteen year olds work. Send them off at ten, let them fail, shove them into the workforce. Given the pokeworld seems more laissez faire than us, employing twelve year olds seems reasonable – that’s the age we let kids do farm work. And on top of that, the younger you have people getting slotted into their adult jobs the more this fits with the inevitable feel of this – it’s way more unfair for a ten year old’s poor performance as a trainer to result in them getting a crappy job as a twelve year old than a fifteen year old’s poor performance landing them a crappy job as a seventeen year old.

…okay, so now you’re recounting the anime’s events but…these are just the anime’s events. They aren’t suddenly bad because of the addition of whatever you mean about Shudo’s stuff, they were always precisely this bad.

[It was true, a reason marriage was so rare beyond how many young people (mostly men) became ‘useless, broken adults’ from failure was the fact that journeys were partially encouragements to get young people moving around and knowing people.]

Meanwhile, this actually suggests some pretty awesome social services. The reasons people are encouraged to marry have a lot to do with economic pressures. If women are willingly getting pregnant with no expectation of a second provider, if in fact that’s considered a positive aspect of the pokemon journey set up, then actually raising the kids must be heavily subsidized, which in turn implies a society that values/gets use from those kids. It can’t just be a holdover from ancient days or else people wouldn’t be willing to get heavily taxed to support young kids, and without that single moms would just abort their way out of being single moms. Their society must be working really hard to make sure people don’t need to get married.

[At least, that was what some of the historian type people theorized. Ash just assumed it was a side effect of telling fifteen year olds they were legal adults free to do anything they want, not supervised, and left alone together in remote places few could bother them in.]

No, the side effect of that alone is mandatory birth control shots for everyone before they were allowed a license and abortion clinics on every corner street. Societies that make a big fuss over preventing women from aborting also make a big fuss over preventing them from having sex in the first place.

Really the big question is why this society wants lots of kids running around. My guess would be that for one reason or another, removing large numbers of pokemon from the wild was important for human society, and everyone going out trying to be a trainer does this best.

[Something like, ‘but do you like humans’, but that seemed off. What Pikachu was aiming for wasn’t the word humans.]

[“People?” Ash offered as Pikachu nodded, which left Ash only more confused.

“So what, you’re worried if I still like people?” Ash voiced the full question Pikachu asked.]

And this is really bizarre, since it means you have a fic about pokemon treatment, where Ash knows pokemon are saying things and he just can’t always understand them, except even the pokemon still say they aren’t actually people. And that’s sure not a Shudo thing – all the stuff getting translated as “people” is “human” originally. If you want whatever distinction this is supposed to be, humans the individuals verse humanity seems like the better fit.

[“You were at the Battle Club earlier, so you battle. If you can know what a Pokemon means to say, why would you battle?”]

Also, this comes up an awful lot in N fic, but in the games he initiates pokemon battles. He just always does it with whatever pokemon are in the vicinity. His issues are about humans keeping pokemon.

So, end of the fic and I still have no idea why Ash started at fifteen and figured this out at twenty, rather than starting at ten and figuring it out at fifteen. He even sounds more like a fifteen year old with how he’s just working out his own feelings on the subject.

[Anyone who wants to take the idea merely must PM me and in the story take acknowledge me as the ideas creator, and are free to ask me what I was thinking of doing to compare notes and form what they’re interested in doing.]

…what idea? The idea that Ash notices people being mean to pokemon, which he does in canon, or the idea he’s started to notice it’s a pattern, which is the obvious next step, or the idea he and N (that anyone and N) might find common ground, which was something dozens and dozens of people thought up like five minutes after N was introduced? This is just you recapping what’s been staring everyone in the face for years. You can’t call dibs on it.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12803270/1/Eclipse

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things – or used in place of one, like “mom” can be. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

A first chapter needs to be more than someone sitting in a cushion.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12803318/1/The-Dragon-Princess-of-Time

Yeah, I gotta echo the other reviewer in not getting the gijinka thing.

Honestly, all the pokemon elements here don’t just seem unnecessary but actually serve to make it harder to follow. You say there’s a latias and a salamence, and I’m picturing an actual latias and salamence cramming themselves into a school while if you said humans with superpowers, it wouldn’t feel like my mental image of the characters was locked in a death struggle with what you’re talking about. It’s similarly hard to follow the world history talk when I keep trying to connect it to something in canon. And there’s still the usual question of how they divide themselves up along typed lines when some pokemon change type when evolving.

It all really feels like this would work better as just pure historical fantasy with people who have magical element affinities and some have more than one.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12803395/1/Ultra-Pokemon-Adventure

There are just shy of ten thousand stories just on this site in this category with “pokemon” in their title. “New” features in almost two thousand. There are over six hundred “chronicles”, more if you include misspellings, even more with “begins” and “beginning”, and even more “Character Name”‘s whatever. There are a thousand with “legend”. There are two thousand with “journey”, seventeen hundred with “story”, three hundred fifty with “quest”, and almost three thousand with “adventure”. The different region names appear another thousand or two times. “Saga”, “region” and “champion” come in around a few hundred. In sum, you should try to choose an original title that has to do with your story in particular, not something that indicates it’s yet another story about a pokemon trainer.

Opening your story with a character waking up for the day is generic and horribly, horribly overdone, and to be honest, it’s so incredibly dull and boring a start that even if I hadn’t seen it, very literally here, thousands upon thousands of times before, I would still tell you you should have started at some other, interesting point.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things – or used in place of one, like “mom” can be. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Paragraphing has rules. You start a new paragraph with a new subject. The goal is not to divide your story up into even blocks. Also, a new speaker means you start a new paragraph.

While it’s nice to see an established trainer as a starting point… [rako looked over to Amina, seeing the odd amount of determination on her face scared him she was always so childish but if if a Pokmon or human friend is in trouble she’s ready to help “Don’t worry I got you!” She glared over to the Spearow and began to cross the bridge despite the protest of her two pokemon “Amina stop! The brigde-” Draco called out “Might give out!” Shadow finished as she stumbled over an opening making Drako and Dagger tense up “Don’t worry little one, I got you!” She leaned over the scared as heck little pokemon and swatted at the Spearow “Get away! She’s not for food!” ] …there’s not much point if the fact they’re trainers doesn’t matter and the plot’s still the same rehash of the game.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12803405/1/Pokemon-Ultimate-Journey-Cancelled

There are just shy of ten thousand stories just on this site in this category with “pokemon” in their title. “New” features in almost two thousand. There are over six hundred “chronicles”, more if you include misspellings, even more with “begins” and “beginning”, and even more “Character Name”‘s whatever. There are a thousand with “legend”. There are two thousand with “journey”, seventeen hundred with “story”, three hundred fifty with “quest”, and almost three thousand with “adventure”. The different region names appear another thousand or two times. “Saga”, “region” and “champion” come in around a few hundred. In sum, you should try to choose an original title that has to do with your story in particular, not something that indicates it’s yet another story about a pokemon trainer.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things – or used in place of one, like “mom” can be. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Opening your story with a character waking up for the day is generic and horribly, horribly overdone, and to be honest, it’s so incredibly dull and boring a start that even if I hadn’t seen it, very literally here, thousands upon thousands of times before, I would still tell you you should have started at some other, interesting point.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12803451/1/Insecurities

Blocked!

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12803491/1/Ash-s-Master-Quest-by-sojoukou-senkuo

Not their fic.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12803503/1/Time-Does-Not-Heal-All-Wounds

[Her tauros lay on the grass, thoroughly defeated and panting for breath. The houndoom had been agile and far too fire happy. Normally, Caterina would be right there giving it potions or care to heal up its bruises. But the sheer shock and pain stabbing her entire arm had rendered her completely immobilized. Tauros had looked at her—scared and then concerned when it saw the quivers around her mouth and lines around her eyes.]

…except, all that’s happening is she’s suffering the same way her tauros does. It’s a bit weird for a battered pokemon to be looking at his less injured trainer and deciding that’s his only concern.

And even putting that aspect aside, there’s not much here. She gets burned painfully. The painful burn won’t go away. She’s in pain because of the burn not going away. The fic ends. I read a fic much like this where the point was overconfidence against houndoom, but you don’t set that up. Or the point is just random chance, but you don’t focus on that either, the fic just goes on and on about the wound itself without any resolution on the point. And it’s not acceptance, because she doesn’t accept it either.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12803655/1/Pokemon-Personified

“Its” is the possessive form. “It’s” means “it is” only.

[Elsewhere in the city, the rumor mills and gossipers whispered of the dark dealings of the organization known as “Underground”,]

That’s a godawful name. What, was “Criminal” already taken, so they had to go with the second word people attach to everyone even slightly connected to their line of business? Is this some sort of branding move where they’re actually a tiny group hoping to seem like a big deal by hoping everyone else gets confused and thinks they’re behind every “underground” dealing?

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

[squads of Imperial Army guards marched through the streets, officially ‘maintaining the peace’, but Gena knew that it was more likely they were on the hunt for Underground operatives.]

Is there a notable difference between those two things?

[ Her tea was kept filled, and by either the machinations of the House, or simple luck, she never seemed to lose substantially. ]

How exactly does this place make money if their idea of machinations is keeping people from losing?

Well, halfway in and the most it’s had to do with pokemon is that there’s eighteen warlords, so I’m going to quit now.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12803843/1/Adventure-Of-A-Lifetime

There are just shy of ten thousand stories just on this site in this category with “pokemon” in their title. “New” features in almost two thousand. There are over six hundred “chronicles”, more if you include misspellings, even more with “begins” and “beginning”, and even more “Character Name”‘s whatever. There are a thousand with “legend”. There are two thousand with “journey”, seventeen hundred with “story”, three hundred fifty with “quest”, and almost three thousand with “adventure”. The different region names appear another thousand or two times. “Saga”, “region” and “champion” come in around a few hundred. In sum, you should try to choose an original title that has to do with your story in particular, not something that indicates it’s yet another story about a pokemon trainer.

[An overweight thirteen year old girl named Luna Black walked with a slight limp down the main road in Pallet Town toward Professor Oak’s Lab with her mother, Maggie by her side her sky blue peasant style ankle length dress fluttered quietly and black ballerina flats crunched on the gravel as they walked.]

You don’t need to cram everything into a single sentence.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things – or used in place of one, like “mom” can be. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Semicolons should only ever be used when connecting two complete sentences and even then almost never.

Paragraphing has rules. You start a new paragraph with a new subject. The goal is not to divide your story up into even blocks. Also, a new speaker means you start a new paragraph.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

[The Professor’s eyes widened as he realized that he had done it again. He had four beginning trainers and only three Pokémon to give out.]

Or, y’know, Ash was so late he gave his extra pokemon to his grandson.

Look, you want her to get a non-starter as her first pokemon? Just have someone give it to her. Have it be a gift from a relative or something. That skips through the boring professor bit that everyone feels obligated to include.

…and now the very first pokemon she sees is an oshawott, a starter from another region that somehow is just wandering around Kanto and somehow nobody else caught it already. If you just want her to have a pile of rare pokemon, say her mom is rich and bought her a pile of rare pokemon.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12803864/1/Body-Slam

Stories should be interesting. People shouting OOCly about wrestling is not.

Blocked! This person has PMs off, so I couldn’t check.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12803981/1/A-Little-More-Than-Human

Also blocked! This really speeds things up.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12804378/1/Marshmallows

[ David’s Skiploom, Tuft, and River’s Marill, Bubbles. ]

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things – or used in place of one, like “mom” can be. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

[a pack of sneazle]

Check the spelling of pokemon species.

[The idea of food being wasted was very much a human idea; in the wilderness, everything was eaten by something else, and even if it wasn’t, it would eventually rot down and fertilize the trees.]

Our food also still rots. Food waste means we don’t eat it, not that it’s removed from all existence.

The bit of them poking around the camp is cute.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12804477/1/The-Path-Of-Legends

[I need some OCs for the fanfic.]

And you need to make those up yourself.

You really, really shouldn’t ask for characters. It might seem like it’s harder to think up characters than have someone else do it for you, but it’s actually far more work to try to figure out how to write a random batch of personalities and backstories, then figure out how you can make them fit into your story and get along with each other. If you make up characters based on what you need for your story, it’s not only a much better story for it, it’s easier to do. Almost all SYOC stories end up never updating, those that do often die after a chapter or two, and even the ones that continue a bit longer are plagued by meandering non-plots and characters who don’t seem to have any point to their scenes.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12804521/1/Amethyst-A-New-Adventure-Awaits

An author’s note is not a chapter. It’s also not a prologue. It’s also not allowed by the rules of the site.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12804938/1/Hypno-The-Hypnosis-Pokémon

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

This really just seems like gore for the sake of gore. It’s not even a clever riff on a particular pokemon, just you insisting the random monster that carves out people’s brains and eats them is called a hypno.