NaRe 2020 Day 9

The usual, right up until it isn’t.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13474208/1/Working-Kalos-With-Skill-For-Real (1)

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like trainer or professor or gym.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

Write out numbers with letters.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13474323/1/Pok%C3%A9mon-SOSTA-Kanto (0)

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like trainer or professor or gym.

Semicolons should only ever be used when connecting two complete sentences and even then almost never.

[“Oh man, I love this battle,” a young boy said, watching this particular one for the umpteenth time since it was first contested some months ago.

But he never got to see the ending again, that colossal collision of Ghost-type power as, much to his chagrin, his television was switched off.

“What?” he screamed, rolling off his bed. “What the –”

He looked to his bedroom door; his mother standing there, a remote control in her hand, the special one that could be used on all the televisions in the house, as unlikely as that sounded.

“It’s time for bed, Red,” she said, tapping her foot on the floor. “You’ve got an early start tomorrow. You don’t want to end up missing out on a starter Pokémon.”]

Yeah, it’s also the umpteenth time this opening’s been used in fanfic, and unfortunately it’s not half as entertaining as the battle apparently is to Red.

What is this supposed to tell the reader? What about his character are you illustrating? There’s nothing different about this (perhaps you thought lampshading how in your fic the main character doesn’t oversleep was a big deal, but that’s been done ten thousand times in fanfic and most of canon as well) until we get to the very end and you have the starter pokemon interacting slightly with the kids before getting picked. And even that’s more a blip than an actual divergence from the standard mold – you have one pokemon picking their trainer, but it doesn’t throw a wrench into anyone’s plans like it would if Leaf was planning on a different pokemon, and you have another pokemon hesitate, but that doesn’t cause problems either because after a moment they decide they’re okay with it (and you have the three starters go based on Red/Blue/Leaf patterning names, so it’s not like there’s even any question of who gets what going into it).

Think about where your story actually starts. At what point do things go differently? That’s where your first chapter should begin.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13474349/1/Sandwich-Shop (1)

Mechanically, this looks pretty good. The thing is, despite all your characters being referred to as various pokemon species, this really doesn’t seem to have much of anything to do with Pokemon.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13474519/1/Quite-the-Catch (0)

[Tana was a proud member of team magma.  ]

Team Magma, being the name of the organization, gets capitalized like any other name.

[The transition from a terrorist group to a humanitarian organization was surprisingly smooth. Mostly it came down to less capturing facilities, not getting beaten up by that kid with the gardevoir, and more paperwork. ]

While the idea of this is certainly entertaining…you do kind of need to explain what they’re doing. It’s not like Team Magma had non-evil goals they were going after by evil means, their goal was causing an apocalypse so if they’ve switched gears what did they switch to?

Also, if the point was just that you wanted it to be someone in a Team Magma uniform fucking pokemon, then don’t spend your opening on how Team Magma is now different and doing different things but not in a way you’ll explain, which is just distracting. It’s much easier to say she’s a regular Team Magma member on vacation or something.

2 Comments

  1. CrazyEd says:

    Yeah, it’s also the umpteenth time this opening’s been used in fanfic, and unfortunately it’s not half as entertaining as the battle apparently is to Red.

    Isn’t that literally the exact same opening as episode one of the anime?

    the point was just that you wanted it to be someone in a Team Magma uniform fucking pokemon

    Way to bury the fucking lead.

    1
    1. Farla says:

      The opening of the anime which is in turn copying the opening of the original games. There are so many layers to how overdone it is.

      Way to bury the fucking lead.

      Well now you know how I felt! “Oh now that you bring it up, it is an interesting question what Team Magma actually would get up to if people demand the NPCs have to stick around being buddies but also have to stop being evil, and environmentalism itself is a worthy cause but does Team Magma actually know anything about that and oh you’re having sex with a bunny alrighty then.”

      4

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