NaRe 2018 Romance Pokeauthors, Week 1

“Although, please ask Farla not to message me. I really don’t need a repeat of this conversation. Thanks!”

re: Your review to Pokegirls: Johto league
2 JanBillywhy
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12782231/

Maybe its just me that hates to look through ANs before getting to the story. It probably didn’t help that it looked so much longer in word.

Thank you for your input on formatting. I’ve always been fuzzy on the rules for quotes, so I was kind of playing it by ear.

I didn’t do Psi-Dykes. Psi-Dykes exist in pokegirl “cannon”. As I said in the note, most (so far all) of the bad/dirty/offensive puns have come directly from either the original story or are considered cannon by the sub-fandom it created.

Thank you for reviewing!

secs ago[I didn’t do Psi-Dykes. Psi-Dykes exist in pokegirl “cannon”. As I said in the note, most (so far all) of the bad/dirty/offensive puns have come directly from either the original story or are considered cannon by the sub-fandom it created. ]

Okay, so here’s the thing: you are not actually bound by canon. Fanfiction authors ignore and subvert the actual canon all the time (see all those fics where Ash is older than Misty), let alone an AU formed by loose subfandom consensus. You cannot abdicate responsibility by just saying it’s part of canon. You didn’t have to write in this canon, and you didn’t have to include every single detail from that canon. If you agree that an element is messed up, you can simply not use it.

6h agoFair point. I understand that I’m not shacked by cannon- especially by cannon as loose as the Pokegirls AU. I’m still going to use Psidykes though. I chose to include Psidykes because I believe it would provide for an interesting character dynamic and could be used for certain plot points I have planned, not because of what the breed represents. If you’re going to judge me or my story harshly for my choices, that’s fine. It’s well within your rights. If this one detail ruins the story for you, I’m sorry. I’ll keep it in mind in future stories but, at least for now, the Psidyke stays.

Thank you for messaging me. I appreciate that you’ve taken the time to write me about your criticisms. It is more than most members of this site can be bothered to do.

re: Your review to The Far Side of The Ocean Equator: Egoshipping (Gary Oak x Misty)
2 JanResistanceAuthor
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12783286/

Thank you so much for spotting my mistakes, I meant to separate the sentences with lines, but I was in a rush and couldn’t do it right away. I will definitely edit my story as soon as I can. Thank you again!

re: Your review to Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Rescue Team Aquaspark
2 JanNorthstar Pokeshipper
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12783231/

Thanks

Thanks for the helpful review!
3 JanGhostMocha
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12785491/

Thanks very much for taking time to write out such a constructive review. Usually when I say I welcome constructive criticism, people figure that means going “This story sux!” instead of saying something actually helpful.

I used to write my stories in the correct format you described, but I had read something not long ago suggesting that the comma should go after the quote marks and not before, so I thought I’d been formatting my dialogue incorrectly from the get-go. Nope! Turns out I was doing it right all along! Though I didn’t know that thoughts should be left out of quotes. I figured that putting them in italics along with a line like “he thought” or “she pondered” would be enough to get the point across that it was a thought and not being said out loud.

As far as trying to describe someone laughing when they say something, how would you recommend phrasing such a description? I know that was the last line of the chapter I posted and I’m not sure how to get across the point that the character is laughing if the way I wrote it is incorrect.

Anyway, thanks for telling me this in the first chapter! I can fix the other ones now (there are about 11 or 12 in total, depending on where I decide to break certain parts of the story up).

secs agohttps://www.fanfiction.net/topic/11834/21887406/1/Writing-Guide-Part-One-Grammar has an explanation for using non-speaking verbs.
9h agoThanks so much for the link! I found the advice to be quite helpful, though some of it got a little confusing at times because some pieces of advice seemed to contradict other ones. Anyway, here’s hoping I got all the wrinkles ironed out. Thanks again!
re: Your review to Let\’s play catch!
5 JanA Graceful Kiwi
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12781946/

Hey buddy, thanks for the review. This took me way back to a similar review I got years ago. Thanks for helping out, I appreciate it, but I don’t actually care about this story, I only wrote it because I was bored on holiday. I’m not exactly taking this anywhere, so I’m sorry if I let you down, if you had any expectations at all when you clicked on this fic. I know that I suck with dialogue. I wasn’t exactly pointing out bad writing, but I know what you mean. You’re right I didn’t have any space in the description. I didn’t include an A/N because I’m trying my hardest to avoid those these days, and also because I wasn’t exactly sure on the actual level of ‘triggering’ of some elements of the story.
I don’t know if you want to stick around for the next few chapters (After all, it can only get worse, right?) But if you want to keep providing realism and criticism in the reviews, I fully encourage you. Everyone needs a little bit of a reminder every now and then.

3h agoOkay, I’ve read your bio now (I always read bios after reviews/stories/PMs, so I can keep my reply less biased/judgemental, if that makes sense) I’m sorry if I came across like I was hurt by your review or maybe a bit sarcastic at the end there, and also if I misinterpreted your intentions behind writing the review.

Thanks for the review by the way!

2h agoEh, you were better at staying civil than most people.

I’m not sure why you want to avoid author’s notes. They are generally helpful, especially for listing trigger warnings. It’s generally best to err on the side of inclusion with them, since they’re easy to list but can be very useful for people. Not just for triggers, either; if you’re writing surprise fetish fic, people will appreciate the opportunity to nope out early if it’s something they don’t like.

34m agoOkay. Thanks for the advice and help. Honestly, I forgot people like you and Farla still did this. It’s been like, what, five or six years. That takes dedication, man. And although I don’t particularly agree with many sides on the whole “Pokémon names capitalization” thing (which I’m certainly not dipping my toes into, for the sake of my overinflated ego) I find what you two (and more, as I have seen others) are doing refreshing and admirable. Keep fighting for the community and to make FanFiction better! or whatever the goal here is.

Also, I’m not really civil, I just stay polite to people who have the ability to injure my self-esteem. And who are also much smarter than me.

Really
5 JanZenFirebird
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12788261/

When did that become a rule and for how long?

Really
1h agoA response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12788261/

The script format part that is.

secs ago(For future reference, you can continue a PM conversation without replies by selecting it in your outbox.)

p
^ It’s here. You should have read it before posting anything.

secs agoSigh. It’s in “Rules & Guidelines”, under “Publish” in your account options.
9h agoStill wondering why no one told me this up till now. {three of my ither fanfic are like this and they benn on this site for a long time.}
1h agoTwo reasons:

1. No one reviews anymore.
2. Because you should know this already. The site shoves the guidelines in your face every time you publish anything. Maybe you should have actually read it instead of blowing it off.

30m agoInncorrect ln the first thing. There are people who are still reviewing stuff.
Also the last person to review my fic, didn’t mention it. Yet again it. Could be because i seperated action instead of putting them into the same sentance of the character speaking. Namely i did this Dave; yo catch. *toss the ball*.
re: Your review to one sixth
6 JunparadoxiKay
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12789833/

Question: Why do you care?

You’re clearly very invested in making sure people know how you think Pokemon names should be capitalized, but… why? It would be an awful lot easier to just not read fic that don’t meet your standards, instead of insisting that every single person who writes Pokemon fic meet your standards.

You don’t appear to have actually read much of the fic, because I know there are plenty of formatting mistakes I couldn’t be bothered to fix. So you… opened my fic and skimmed it to see if I committed the heinous crime of capitalizing “Pokemon”?

And that bothered you more than Articuno sharing a body with a human, which isn’t exactly canon-compliant?

I’m honestly bewildered by your motives here. But hey, everyone needs a hobby, I guess!

secs agohttps://www.fanfiction.net/topic/11834/24493256/1/NaRe-Review-FAQ

Different reviewer, but my answers are similar. If you have genuine questions or concerns, take them to that thread.

For once, they did actually take me up on this. Resulting argument is in the thread if you want to see.

Your Review
7 JanPJO Fan Power
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12789061/

Hey, a user warned me about you! I’m glad you decided to comment on my story, despite not thinking too deeply about it. I write my own way, even if it may not be up to par with the English language. The lack of a shirt part was abstaining to the fact that he wore nothing on his upper body at all, which I believed would get my point across. Unless, of course, you believe that women shouldn’t wear brassieres. I just looked at the link you sent me, and while it did have some very valid points, my personal upbringing was that titles, such as doctor, when used with a person’s name, should be capitalised, such as “Doctor Brock Stone”, or “Professor Gary Oak”. Also, I believe that Pokemon names should be capitalised regardless, because the belief is that they are sentient, and you would treat them as you would another human, or maybe a pet. Therefore, “Charizard, destroy,” could be the same as “Richard, destroy,” or “Hello, Lucario. How are you?” would be comparable to “Hello, Jeff. How are you?” Or you could talk to it as you would a pet. “Come here, Liz!” and “Come here, Sylveon!” I realise that my grammar is not the best, and I never claimed it was. You can dismiss it all, and if your argument is valid, I will listen to it. Also, based on the English language, I am nigh-certain that when continuing a sentence, you do not capitalise the first word in the second part of that sentence. An example would be, “Hi,” he started, “how are you?” As for the transition, that is simply my personal preference to make sure that everyone can understand where everything is happening. Trust me, you aren’t the first person to comment on it. Lastly, for my location, I live in the United States, but I use the United Kingdom’s version of English. I hope you will read this, and thank you for your time in both writing the review, and reading this response.

-PJO Fan Power

Oops, I forgot something.
6h agoA response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12789061/

As for the “I might as well create an OC” part, that is exactly what I’m doing. That is what every story on this website does. It modifies a character to meet our needs, while keeping the main details, such as the history, except for a few points, the same. That is what is necessary to create an original story.

secs ago(For future reference, you can continue a PM without replies by selecting it in your outbox.)

[The lack of a shirt part was abstaining to the fact that he wore nothing on his upper body at all, which I believed would get my point across. Unless, of course, you believe that women shouldn’t wear brassieres.]

I… don’t think we’re communicating. This doesn’t have anything to do with what I said. It’s reasonable to note that he was shirtless; what I found weird was the use of “obviously” in the narration.

[my personal upbringing was that titles, such as doctor, when used with a person’s name, should be capitalised]

That’s not your personal upbringing, that’s what’s grammatically correct. What I was referring to was people capitalizing titles when used as objects, such as “I’m going to see my Professor.” This is a thing some people do, so it bears inclusion in the explanation.

[Also, I believe that Pokemon names should be capitalised regardless, because the belief is that they are sentient, and you would treat them as you would another human, or maybe a pet. Therefore, “Charizard, destroy,” could be the same as “Richard, destroy,”]

If “Charizard” is literally that particular pokemon’s name, yes. Otherwise, no. I explained this in the review.

I’m not interested in arguing further about capitalization. Take it to https://www.fanfiction.net/topic/11834/55376155/1/Capitalization-Thread if you have more questions.

[Also, based on the English language, I am nigh-certain that when continuing a sentence, you do not capitalise the first word in the second part of that sentence. An example would be, “Hi,” he started, “how are you?”]

…Yes. That is exactly what I said in the paragraph. If you want to address my points, you need to actually read what I said. If my paragraph was too dense, this thread has a much better explanation: https://www.fanfiction.net/topic/11834/21887406/1/Writing-Guide-Part-One-Grammar

[As for the transition, that is simply my personal preference to make sure that everyone can understand where everything is happening.]

The thing is, with prose you have the power to do that in the story itself, and it’s much more immersive if you do. The reason video games and movies do this is because it’s much harder to bring up naturally in dialogue-only text, but in prose, you can mention the time or place in your initial description of the scene.

[As for the “I might as well create an OC” part, that is exactly what I’m doing. That is what every story on this website does. It modifies a character to meet our needs, while keeping the main details, such as the history, except for a few points, the same.]

Uh… I don’t think you understood what I meant. OC stands for “original character”. If you’re calling your character Ash and saying he has the same background and relationships as Ash, he’s not a completely new character, he’s still Ash. My point is that if you need to heavily modify a canon character’s personality to make your story work, you may as well just make an original character.

2h agoFirst off, thanks for that little tip at the top. Second off, you seem to just be copy and pasting what I said and picking it apart individually, instead of reading everything as a whole. I could be completely wrong. I don’t know. The first part where you don’t think we’re communicating, I don’t know if we are. But I wrote it that way, so that is how it is written in my story. Second up is the Pokemon names. We simply have different beliefs on that, and it would do ya no good to argue. And yes, I have already looked at the thread. It is all just a matter of opinion. Third, either you wrote your sentence wrong, or I misunderstood, but that was not the way you originally wrote it. For the fourth part, I admit you have a point. So, thank you for that help! More than likely, I’ll try to integrate that into my stories from now on 🙂! Lastly, I do indeed know what an OC is. Creating OC’s is actually a hobby of mine, to see how realistic of a character I can create. Would you say that my story has differed so much from canon that this is most definitely not Ash? If so, I would love to hear a few reasons! Thanks,

-PJO Fem Power

secs ago[Second off, you seem to just be copy and pasting what I said and picking it apart individually, instead of reading everything as a whole.]

…No, I read the whole thing and then I addressed the specific points I wanted to address. I did this so you’d know what I’m talking about, because that makes this a lot easier. I’d request you do the same, because I’d rather not have to refer back to previous messages to know what you’re referring to.

[But I wrote it that way, so that is how it is written in my story.]

Yes. However, I felt the story would work better if it was written a different way, as I said.

[Lastly, I do indeed know what an OC is.]

Then you should know that Ash is not an OC.

17m agoIf you read the whole thing, you would see that after that, I acknowledged that that was how it seemed, and I could be completely wrong. Second, that is why it’s my story, not yours. Third, yes, I know Ash is not an OC. But unless I read it wrong, you were trying to say I was basically just making an OC that had a bit of Ash in there.
secs ago[If you read the whole thing, you would see that after that, I acknowledged that that was how it seemed, and I could be completely wrong.]

Yes, and so I clarified. Now you don’t have to wonder whether or not you were wrong.

[Second, that is why it’s my story, not yours.]

Yes, but you posted your story to a public website with a public comment feature. You must expect some people to disagree with you. I have explained why I disliked the way it was written. Can you explain why you chose to write it that way, and what it adds to the story?

27m agoFirst off, that is kinda rude. Second off, yes, I did, but I did so people could read my work and critique kindly. I believe that you have long since overstepped your bounds. I have written my story the way I did because that’s how I like to write. Everyone’s mind works differently, and apparently our’s much so. It might not add anything to the story for you, but I am writing these stories for me, and allowing others the read it as well.
25m agoTo wrap this all up, I would very much appreciate if neither your nor Farla messaged me again. While you have been pretty nice about it, and have brought up some interesting points, this is no longer constructive criticism.

Thank you,
PJO Fem Power

secs ago[Second off, yes, I did, but I did so people could read my work and critique kindly.]

That was an unreasonable expectation to begin with. Expecting any standards from an open discussion forum is sheer foolishness. You have no control over what people will say, and so you must be prepared for anything. If you don’t like what someone says, just don’t engage with them.

If you don’t want further messages, you’ll have to block me.

4m agoAnd why would that be?
secs agoBecause I review a lot of people and can’t be expected to remember every single person. It’s a lot easier for everyone if you just use the feature the website gave you for dealing with this exact situation.
4m agoAlrighty then. Although, please ask Farla not to message me. I really don’t need a repeat of this conversation. Thanks!
3m agoUhh… quick question? How do you use the block feature? I’ve never done this before.
3m agoOR YOU COULD JUST BLOCK HER TOO JESUS CHRIST STOP MAKING US DO EVERYTHING FOR YOU.
2m agoIt’s under “Account”.
secs agoYou are indeed quite rude.

See, this is why I give people the benefit of the doubt. Some authors really are this dense.

2 Comments

  1. Septentrion says:

    Was there a romance post? I’ve been waiting for the St. Elmo post for a while.

    Also, the names you typically see in Pokegirls haven’t change for over a decade.




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    1. Romance reviews are mostly just rote stuff. I send anything substantial over to Farla. I can post all of them at the end of the month for completeness, though.




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