Homestuck with a dash of Pokemon, because that just happens.
That’s a simple mistake that I can fix easily and that anyone can miss, and yes my friend it is a scene from the comic that is why it is called ‘fanfiction’ and why I put it on the site ‘. I know it’s not a huge death or a permanent one but I found it tragic and fascinating so I decided to delve further in it and see what it could become.
Try not to be an ass when commenting on someones work, because, well, it makes you an ass. Funny how that works.
I hope you understand that it’s not meant to be taken seriously.
Along with, fanfictions are fanfictions; this was just a spin off of not-supposed-to-be-serious, so if you really don’t like the pairing go read a few other fanfictions, friend. There are plenty of them out there. I have others that you can read, but I make no promises that you’d like them.
(Also, I’ve already reviewed a bunch of your stuff, and I’m pretty sure I got Drawing Dead on a previous iteration.)
Along with, I’ll have to check, but I don’t remember receiving a review from you on it.
Along with, I’ll have to check, but I don’t remember receiving a review from you on it.
I’ve had to make some edits to it, so it’s not completely the same as before if you’d like to read that instead.
And very well then, I’ll review it.
This is one I have yet to go through and reedit. Keep in mind that I have not been on this website and a good couple of years – or so it feels – and I’m going through to make changes to the parts I have yet to continue.
Is there no satisfying you? You’re taking it way too literal!
I’m not writing to be directly on key with every rule in the book, I am writing to loosen knots and strings in my head and get writers block out of the way; to have fun. Who cares if it’s not on key with the characters? I’m not Andrew Hussie, I can’t write dialogue for characters that have little to no dialogue to begin with. I do what I can with the knowledge I have to make something entertaining for readers to read. The idea is to have a little imagination and picture what is going on; drawing your best conclusion to the situation.
Why are you so nit-picky with the little things? Why can’t you just read it and say “Oh, that was entertaining, please write more” or add in small suggestions and not a full blown “Stop doing what you’re doing, because you’re doing everything wrong.”?
https://www.fanfiction.net/r/8772004/ And it’s not the first time I’ve said that. I’m not sure if your problem is you’re not a native speaker or if you’re intentionally trying to sound less clear under the impression it makes your writing better, but either way, it’s your biggest problem right now. I would strongly advise you ask for someone to beta read for you and help make sure what you’re writing is being understood.
So yes – whatever it is you did for this one and didn’t do for those other two, stop doing that, it’s a bad idea.
It was for an RP partner who requested it and this was more of a rough draft. This RP has been going on for nearly a year now, and I don’t really need to explain everything that happened for that particular friend. I plan on getting around to rewriting this. So do forgive me if it wasn’t to your liking.
This one highlights the biggest characterization problem in the cagegory after people just flat out not knowing how to write, people who don’t view characterization as relevant. I read their fic about Droog. I complain I’m unhappy because Droog was not written as Droog. They direct me to their John/Dave story, because clearly, the names of people involved is irrelevant, just the romance and possibly the sexes.
Also, these two illustrate that AOOOOOO could be a great compromise by letting people create a “fanfiction of my RP based on Homestuck” fandom slot, except of course the the site isn’t designed to be customizable beyond letting you type anything you want into the tags so it’d just get synced right bck into Homestuck.
Thank you for your feedback! I didn’t necessarily write this just for them to have motel sex and car arguing.
I guess I didn’t really think out their leaving the city. I forget about Slicks attachment… But I just didn’t imagine him being able to burn down New York city. Sure he would be angry, but if he were outnumbered I think he would try to pick up somewhere else, expand his reign, and then come back and kick *ss. Do you think that would be something he would do? Maybe I should have said that instead of it seeming like Slick would just accept defeat… It’s just they are extremely shorthanded. What do you think?
I’m not sure what you mean by “this kind of thing.” :?
I know the badfic isn’t like most badfic. However, Danni is very much a self insert, so the kind of badfic she writes is governed by the kind of badfic I would write if I wrote badfic. And while it’s definitely not the most common thing, there is a lot of badfic like that out there.
Does it seem focused on OCs? I don’t have a problem with OCs, just bad OCs. Hopefully that will change soon, because there are a lot of other things to bad fanfic, but if you continue to read and it doesn’t seem to, will you let me know?
Thank you for reviewing, and thanks for being honest. A lot of reviews I get are just flattery – it’s nice to know some people will take the time to tell me what I could improve on!
My reply to this one gets no response, likely because it boiled down to “this doesn’t seem like a good idea, and definitely trying to completely copy what worked for the LOTR original isn’t a good idea”.
Thanks! I went into writing this with the intention of making the world seem as complete as possible, and that included pulling a lot of details out of my, uh. Head. The downside, of course, is that I have all these ideas about how charms work but can’t in good practice shoehorn them all into the story, so there are a lot of discrepancies between what I write and how it’s construed. D:
And yeah, I realized after a while how badly the format lends itself to longer stories. It was an exercise in emulating the style Huss used during the intermission, so I captured the voice I wanted at the expense of convention. But this is Homestuck, so screw convention, y’know?
in order:
i wrote the white queen as knowing how the session was “supposed” to turn out. i don’t think the universe exploding is typically part of the plan, so as far as she knows, the rest of her companions are fine.
thanks for pointing out the words issue. that should be fixed now.
AR is unaware of the plan in its entirety, probably. it’s not something i ever pinned down definitively because it didn’t seem especially relevant.
this next criticism is interesting, because i don’t understand it at all, and neither do the three other people i asked about it. what am i missing? are you trying to say that because WV doesn’t (and perhaps can’t) speak to them, they’re not friends? that much is clearly untrue given the generally cheerful way he behaves around them. i’m not sure what else you could mean by it, and i’d appreciate clarification.
as for your final point, if you see any other problems and issues besides the ones you’ve noted, i’d be interested to hear them.
First, I would like to apologize for my overwhelming errors. I suppose that coming up with such an idea late at night then writing it down when your brain is still not the clearest is a horrible mistake. Being a newer user, and I’m not trying to rub it in here, I’m not quite familiar with perfecting my writing. I’m more used to writing essays, so when I come up with some random, stupid idea I feel excited to write it down because I finally get the chance to be creative. I understand that my writing style is certainly not the best, especially in the practically unexplored area of the overly ridiculous crackfics, where this story is quite literally my only experience. I appreciate the criticism, because it helps me to better my writing later on. But excuse any hints of sarcasm or rudeness when I say you’re sounding an awful lot like an English teacher, or more so a grammatical error searching, foreign speaking being. Hopefully I’ve left out my errors in this return, and kindly forgive and move on if you see any. Thank you.
Firstly, I would like to apologize for my overwhelming grammatical errors. Obviously coming up with the idea very late and then typing it out while my brain is still not at its clearest is a horrid mistake. I would like to point out, though by no means rub in, that I am still rather new to writing fanfictions. A majority of what I write is essays, so I am rather rusty in this department. Crackfics are especially difficult for me, and this story is literally the only experience I have in this area. It would be ignorant to my mistakes to think I would not receive criticism, as even I can tell my writing style is not very good thus far, but this seems a bit too detailed, if you do not mind me saying. Thank you for correcting me so I may better myself in the future. I certainly hope I left out all of the grammatical errors in this response so you do not wind yourself up too much.
I’ve actually been getting a lot of doubled PMs, but most aren’t that different.
Also, for some reason people seemingly unrelated to the Homestuck category chose now to pop in.
I had about two fanfics that you had reviewed maybe a year or two ago? It was a while back and I’m rather forgetful, haha.
I do admit that, as a 12 year old back then, I took your reviews to my Pokemon fanfics as an insult, and it hurt me very deeply at first.
I was weak, and am probably even weaker now tbh.
I did, however, end up taking some of your advice after getting over how upset I was.
And, well, thank you. Although I have deleted my old fics out of pure shame of how terrible they were, thanks.
Thinking about it now, though, I think the names of the fanfics were Ageless Darkness and… Transformation Frustration, I think.
It says stuff you might want to look at.
“well aqua we not going to bond just yet lets walk around first I still can fully bond with u soon okay I winked at her.
” Aqua sighs Oh all right but I will get you master aqua uses water gun on me”
“really aqua I will get u aqua dashes and I chase after her running into a forest I’m not going to hurt u aqua as she pounces on me ripping my shirt off exposing my 6 pack.”
“master I really want you badly I can’t hold myself any longer please service my needs.”
“I kiss aqua deeply and gets on top of her not yet aqua we will soon I promise u first we got to get out the town we are trainer and pokemon we dunt need to stay home and let my mom hear us now do we I grins.”
“Fine Fine lets go as soon as aqua said that a bruised beat up cyndaquil falls in my lap. Holy shit we need to get this cydnaquil to professor juniper I bet she will heal her nice and good as we rush to doctor juniper lab she got weaker her flame barely alive as I run faster to her lab kicking her door down and giving to professor juniper as she soon puts her in a pokeball and puts her into the poke healer.”
“You got here just in time she would of nearly died if it wasn’t for u jay she was abused by her trainer if I guess her trainer would come here and challenge you for her.”
“Don’t worry professor juniper I wont anything happen to her I will beat the living hell out of her trainer as I said that a boy wit blond wild hair comes in So you think you can grab this worthless pokemon and her heal huh boy you got another thing coming I will kick your ass bring it boy the trainer grabs his pokeball sending out an absol.”
“Aqua rushes by my side and quickly use razor shell badly hurting the absol leaving the boy in shock and terror your ass better run or I will have aqua to kill u instantly and give up this poor cydnaquil to me how could u beat on a poor wild pokemon u low life scum I will end ur life if I wanted to cracking my knuckles as he heard that he ran away.”
“Uh so is she okay now as the cyndaquil jumps on me making me fall THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU kissing all over me
“Don’t ask me to beta read if you haven’t bothered to learn basic grammar rules. I’ll correct typos and accidental errors, but I’m not here to rewrite your story because you were just feeling lazy.”
So I have decided to ask you for assistance to help me as a writer improve and to fully form my own opinion on others hate towards you. Thank you for spending your time to read this, if you refuse I understand. But I’d like to say this, everyone is human and they find their own way to express themselves, those who hold a flame to another’s assistance and help has no right to do so. Killing of close friends and family is different, but if a person refuses help then attacks the person who has offered it they are no better than a lifeless shell. Thank you again for your time, I look forward to your response.
Ugh, why do people think that transcribing your RP session is a good idea? It’s one of the worst ways to write. At best you’ll get a rough first draft with a lot of irrelevant stuff that you’d have to edit out while also fixing various other issues. At worst you’ll get an unintelligible mess riddled with inside jokes, Monty Python references, plot threads leading nowhere and people trying to bludgeon each other with Chekhov’s clubs (because guns continued to misfire).
I mean, just look at the first books in Dragonlance series. And that’s one of the better examples.
“I highly doubt you recognize me, but oh well. I’ve been trying to find you for a while now.
I had about two fanfics that you had reviewed maybe a year or two ago?”
Oh, shit! It’s an orphan seeking revenge! Run, Farla!
“I was weak, and am probably even weaker now tbh.”
Oh, I see where this is going. It’s a shounen plot about the protagonist going through training from hell to become stronger in order to defeat you.
“i just learn ur an complete ass ^^”
Well, that’s a nice punchline. I suspect trolling, but you can never be sure on the Internet.
“Green Rune”
Is it… is it a tsundere I see? “I-it’s not like I hate you or anything. B-baka!”
Ugh, why do people think that transcribing your RP session is a good idea?
I think one of the things confusing it is that people will read site RP in place of fic…but in cases of site RP, you’re starting at the beginning, not seeing a single context-free snippet a year later. Add to that while Homestuck RP used to be a thing people sometimes paid attention to due to a lack of fic (truly once a consideration) Homestuck then got heavily into random stranger chat for RP, which required an amazing tolerance for OOC nonsense.
Is that last person trying to say that refusing to beta for them would be worse than murder? I honestly can’t tell.
It’s either that or they’re saying rejecting betaing is terrible. Regardless, something about concrit is like murder.
“i just learn ur an complete ass ^^”
this is my favorite.
Right? It’s just hilarious.
This “Moemon Legacy” is quite a character. I hope he doesn’t bother you too much.
I looked at their story. Chapter 1 and 3 are copies of each other, and chapter two is blank except for a truly baffling author’s note. I want to say it’s a troll… but something about his profile strikes me as entirely earnest.
Their profile says their account was created over two years ago. Normally, people create new accounts for trollfics. I think he’s serious.
I checked before there was a chapter 3 and neither story had been updated since 2012, so I’m going to side with late-blooming troll.
No, haven’t heard back. He either gave up whatever he was doing or realized he was putting way more effort into trolling me than I was him.