“it’s my style and I was taught to write like that”
The advice you gave me on speech verbs is great. Thank you very much for that!
With captilaizing words like “Pokemon” or “Pikachu”, I see that the word “Pokemon” and the names of the various species of Pokemon are capitalized, so I’ll just keep following that.
As for how an Espeon has “hands”, I’m not going to worry about that one little mistake. It’s not like I’m representing the Pokemon in my story to be gijinka or something like that.
I’d just like to thank you for taking some of your precious time to review my work. I have taken some thought into what you said and will be editing and revising the story when I can get around to it. Thanks for the help with the grammatical format of the dialogue as well. I have never really been all that strong in writing dialogue. I am probably going to be looking at your review when I revise everything, considering I am a complete train wreck sometimes when it comes to writing grammatically correct dialogue.
Thanks again, and have a wonderful day/night.
-UmbreonGurl
Thank you for taking the time to review my story, and I will fix what errors you have mentioned. As it is my first story, I’m still learning, so I needed to know what was wrong, and what needed corrected. I am not trying to make excuses, as everything you pointed out was me being in the wrong.
Thanks again,
Sunrobbie
Also, do you have any further tips for revising the first chapter? Sorry if I’m being a bother,
Sunrobbie
i’m…..not sure if this is helpful or insulting. it’s my style and I was taught to write like that, and I’ve seen more than enough people put down “hello.” she grinned. for example….I think I saw one in HP actually, at some point. but still, people know what it means so why do I need to explain it to them? if they can’t understand that she’s talking and grinning at the same time, they must be complete morons.
and also, I think….hmm….hold, the rare thing….I meant they were rare in the wild, and at this point in time since they are rare, they’re hard to breed, which is why they’re given as starters. I could try putting in ‘rare in the wild’ instead, if that would work?
and I can capitalise what I want and i’m not even sure if I spelt that right, but who cares. anyway, thanks for the….uh…..help? not sure if it was or just a massive flame about how bad my writing is, but since no one really complained before I think I’ll keep it like this, but i’ll try and make stuff more clearer if that’s what you’re so worried about, ok?
DrakojanaA response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/10964127/
Thank you for all those comments, I must admit that I’m from Poland and Polish is giving much more free hand when it comes to writing… ‘D I’ll try to remember them all when writing (and correcting) next chapter!
Okay, I thank you for the help I guess, but…the, uh, the last bit…all you said was “No.” What do you mean “No.”? Is it just the rhyme? Because it’s supposed to be stupid.
I was told by my English teacher that numbers after ten aren’t supposed to be spelled out. As for the capitalization, I realized as much. If you noticed, I hadn’t done so to gallade or lucario or poochyena (at least I don’t think I did…I’ll go back over it after I send a reply), however my keyboard doesn’t have any accent marks so the only way to get the accent in pokemon is to use autocorrect, which also autocorrects it to be a capital ‘p’. If I try to delete it to make it lower case, the word de-corrects and I’m left back where I was.
Also, I know trainers are supposed to start at ten, but there’s a reason why I had him start later.
I really am glad that you alerted me of these mistakes, so thank you. However I’d also like to know what you think of it plot-wise. I realized the plot hasn’t really developed much, but there still is some.
Well, to each his own I guess. Thank you for your feedback.
| Reviews for Ice |
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 The Netralizer chapter 17 . 6h ago
Listen..all you Farla haters, as much as she is a troll and a rather merciless reviewer, I have something to say. DO NOT LET FARLA WIN! All you guys are doing are giving her more reviews. It’s a trick, hell, my own review is just part of the problem. So here’s some advice: Support the authors she targeting, send no new reviews, all it does is get people to go to this..gory mess. IGNORE her. Don’t feed the trolls. And here’s to you Farla: Give up. Learn to not be so critical, or people come back to bite you..hard. I know how you troll types play, and I’m not falling for it. While I may have had given you one more review, here’s something: people will know. You have lost…Beware, for the Netralizer…has won.
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| Guest chapter 17 . 18h ago
we wish a brutal death of farlaa rape death.
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 Is that your goal in January, to make other people feel like shit? Everyone has their own writing style; don’t like it, don’t read and/or review on it.
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| Reviews for Clipping |
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| Guest chapter 2 . 18h ago
are you a angry bird? you always seem so angry. control your angeeeeeer dude
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| Guest chapter 2 . 18h ago
being a grammar nazi won’t help dude, give it up.
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Act’s theory this is over the one extra crazy author seems to be true, because one of the other reviewers has a similar batch on their story:
| Reviews for The Oligarchy |
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| Guest chapter 3 . Jan 13
fanfiction critics are the most discouraging piece of crap
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| Guest chapter 3 . Jan 13
grammar nazi
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| Guest chapter 3 . Jan 13
u got to be kiddin me so i wil report your sorry ass to hell
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Dear whiner: learn to space out your reviews better and change your writing style a little.
The first block of reviews are all in the white bars.
You have lost…Beware, for the Netralizer…has won.
oh shit you’re in trouble now
I know! Curse the Netralizer’s brilliance! If only I’d been smart enough to declare I’d won before they did, I’d be the victor!
“You have lost…Beware, for the Netralizer…has won.”
Melodramatic much?
So, you had a heroic fantasy reviewer, now I guess it’s time for a superhero one.
Not really related to Pokemon fanfics, but here’s a thing you might find interesting/terrible – there are actual published light novels over here in Thailand with anime emoticons every few sentences. I can’t read Thai well enough to judge the rest of the writing, even if I actually wanted to read them (they’re high-school romance novels with generic same-face manga covers), but the fact that there are literal emoticons printed probably speaks enough to the quality.
LNs are a very specific form. They’re not supposed to be the same as ‘literary’ fiction; I guess one might see it as degrading the craft of writing overall to include those in the published world even in such a limited faction, but I think that’d be pretty alarmist.
It’s not just the fact that they were in the book though – I mean, depending on the style and topic of the novel, I could actually see them working effectively, and I’ve used emoticons in place of words when chatting to people online. But these were standard high-school romance novels that literally had emoticons every three or four sentences, and I feel like if it becomes okay to substitute writing properly and actually describing how they feel in exchange for just putting in an emoticon, then that would be degrading the craft of writing.
It’s kind of the same thing as that drawing tutorial from Lackadaisy’s author about not stapling emoticon expressions on your characters’ faces in place of learning to draw expressions properly.
Hm. I mean, my instinctive reaction is certainly negative, but that’s because in fanfic people generally deviate from the norm out of incompetence. Maybe it works for what they’re doing!
Thankful replies always make me smile. UmbreonGurl’s especially struck me as sweet.