“In what world have you seen an disabled Trainer? There are definitely reasons why a Trainer has to be fit and healthy”

Jan 3AsianNinjaChik

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/9983826/

I know I mention it quite a few times. This is a rewrite with some minor editing done. Of course, I’m still going to miss things. And Pokemon’s names are capitalized, by the way. ‘Professor’ is a title, and therefore should be capitalized, as is ‘Trainer’.

Jan 3Motherflipping Oak

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/9980894/

Thank you very much for the review! I’m glad you liked the story. You’re right in that I should have gone into more detail, though. They pick a certain number of kids from the age group, and the least well off you are the more likely it is you’re chosen. (The trainer here was an orphan and therefore extra likely to be picked.) There’s definitely a middle class: they mainly handle jobs that require some sort of education and are relatively well off, although they have very little political and economical power. Most of the audience members were most likely actually from the middle class, not that the trainer really knew or cared. As for how the ruling class keeps it all together…They definitely have enough technology to handle security during the tournament (a bunch of frightened ten-year-olds are unlikely to start an organised revolt), but at the same time, I assume the tournament’s the first time many of these kids have seen real-life pokéballs: they’re controlled pretty carefully, because while the ruling class has the army unequivocally on their side (for now…), an organised revolt using pokémon would most likely manage to do some damage.

Sorry if that got too long, and again, and thanks for the review.

Jan 3BJ071992

I deleted that fan fiction you reviewed. I guess I need to work harder.

Jan 3RedBeToo

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/9980350/

Thank you for the advice good sir, anyway I’m going to start a new story anyway I just need an idea.

Jan 3Kirbyfan11

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/9982338/

Hello, I would like to thank you very much for the constructive criticism for my Pokemon fanfic! It’s all very helpful, and I must admit that I wrote this short story rather quickly, which explains the many errors in it. Anywho, I can explain the whole capitalizing Pokemon names, mostly because in every game I’ve played, whether referring to the Pokemon’s name or the species in general it’s always capitalized, however I also do see your point with how we do not capitalize an animals species name, though it might be different if we are referring to the animal by it’s scientific name; in Pokemon we don’t have scientific names, so it is assumed that the species name is that. But it’s also my personal preference.

Also I appreciate the dialogue lesson, as I have a bad habit of making mistakes in that area. Generally speaking, the story really doesn’t have that much plot, and maybe I might just redo this and incorporate all Pokedex entries for the Pokemon, so the story could lengthen and I could add more plot to it like you advised. Nonetheless I really appreciated this review and once again thank you!

Jan 3FallingFlurries

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/9982174/

Thank you for the advice. I do plan on re-writing my first part of the story and using an original title. I much rather keep the characters I’m using because very few people will read stories with OCs as the main character. Since this is my first time writing I will take the advice you have given me to improve my writing.

Jan 3YellowDragonMuffin

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/9981105/

Thanks I’ll be taking all that to mind! I’m grateful for your ideas and views! I was always unsure about nouns, they didn’t teach them very well at my primary school, I did spend time thinking of a ‘replied’ alternative, I hated that I’d used it so much, but needed to get the story down before I forgot it, a replied just kind of… slipped? I’m not making excuses, it was stupid, but I can only get better from here (hopefully), so thank you for the advice, I really needed something like that, I hope my next story will be better and I will remember this and put it to practice!
Thanks
~YellowDragonMuffin

Jan 3Storalwhit

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/9980711/

I already know about that stuff.

16h agoAshKetchumForever

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/9982770/

Yet you use the same dialogue bit for every review. Think of a better review and then get back to me.

16h agoBetter idea – how about you stop making the same mistakes?

16h agoAshKetchumForever

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/9982780/

Technically the pokemon’s name is Persian and I know about the whole naming bit. I also know about how short the chapter is. Don’t tell me something I already know when I could only think so much in one night. Also, rethink about the dialogue bit. Use it for a person’s every fic and they will notice that you copy and paste it into more than the same person’s different fics.

I don’t know why people think the fact I say things to other people is some sort of reason I shouldn’t tell them the same thing. You already saw me say it to everyone else? Then why the fuck did I need to tell you? I’m the one who should be pissed off here.

13h agoStorm48

Pokemon Adventures in Halion is kinda my first ever story. I would like some help from someone who knows what their doing.

13h agoPrayerless

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/9985746/

Personally speaking, it looks a bit strange to lowercase the name of a Pokemon, and various sources online have stated that it’s up to the author on capitalizing names.

However, this isn’t quite game-verse, so I supposed that although Feebas are rare in-game, they might not be if the Pokemon world was added a dosage of reality to. In most descriptions, it is said that Feebas are easily ignored for their ugly appearances, so it’s granted that if someone even had a Feebas, it would be ugly and very cheap. And a Milotic does seem to fit the MC more so than a Gyarados, to be honest…

I do agree with the sudden Jirachi, but your reasoning on how she could become a Trainer is a little faulty. In what world have you seen an disabled Trainer? There are definitely reasons why a Trainer has to be fit and healthy, because a Pokemon can’t and won’t let a person ride it infinitely.

Regardless, thank you for the review and constructive criticism :)

Dammit, now I actually want to see a trainer who can’t walk and travels around on her pokemon. Such a wasted opportunity.

But anyway, hey, it’s an illustration of how failing to represent people in media makes people think those people are officially excluded from the world. I have a shiny new data point!

12h agoBlue-Eyed Cat

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/9986214/

Ok, first thing. I know that kids start their journey at 10 but if you bear with me, then you will find out why she hadn’t started her journey yet. And she also just recently got her Eevee. She also doesn’t want to challenge the Gyms. She wants to do Contests.

Second. Aeva does not talk. Jasmine can understand Pokemon. And if you keep reading my story, then you might just find out why she is able to do that. You only read chapter one. I am planning on explaining more, the farther in I go so that it will keep people reading.

Third. Thank you for the comment about the formatting. I went back and took your advice. It looks a lot better. Again, thank you.

I hope you go back and rea the rest do my story. You might like it a little better.
Thank you for your wonderful review,
Cat

zdude5
https://www.fanfiction.net/u/5418521/
——————–

Subject: re: Your review to Pokemon Adventures

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/9986886/

Thank you for the review, it’s duley noted. I appriciate the information you have given me on a different title as it’ll come in handy in getting my story out there to where others can ENJOY it. But please, this fanfiction if based on my own “journy” if you will in this fictional universe, so if you don’t like how I write about this characters tavels/journy, don’t read. Otherwise, just read and pass it by. Enjoy and have a nice day.

(ohh and the color scheme I chose is based off of the gold/silver/crystal version shiny sprite, as tou can see here in the link. )

——————–

11h agodme1994

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/9987482/

Wow, that was a pretty long review!

I appreciate your time reading my story and giving your honest opinion. However, I won’t be making dramatic changes to it like you have outlined. I simply have my own style of writing, and I wish for everyone to respect each other’s writing for they have worked hard on their stories. As for the minor grammatical errors, I have a bit of dyslexia and have a difficult time finding errors that other people notice.

Thanks again for your time and review. And remember: nobody’s perfect.

:)

11h agoM1zuk1.Kyoto

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/9987482/

*walks in the page furious* u kno i was gonna write Bout how Ignorant u r, but i change Mah mind. *death glare slow turns to smile* i visit ya page and see that ya only go to hurt people bout they stories. guess wat sunshine, every person got they own Writing style. *walks over to author denise continue to look at ya* i kno ya say that u dont mind if other peeps go and talk shit about ya stories or about ya comments, so i am not gonna do that. i am gonna to take the Raichu i love and the other Pokemon and make sure in mah next battle i have their health bar go all the way down. i believe that the way She writes makes it different and unique to the her. every story has hiccups, deer. i do not see yall be so mean and rude. *turns to walk way* Oh! *looks back* i forgot something. *Sweat drops* This is not a college essay. *turn to walk away* so I dare You to reply back or “review” one of my stories Farla. *disappear in distance*

11h agoGood lord you’re a dim one, aren’t you.

10h agoif that wat ya wanna believe, then go for it. i am bright i just choose to be dim. :P the best way to understand grammar is by understanding how to break it into tiny, itty bitty, little pieces. you could say all that you wanna say bout me or mah writing, in fact, i invite you to do so. because i kno that mah writing is my style, not yours, or anyone else. Tell me my dear, have you ever heard of authors choice? That’s when the authors CHOOSES on whether she wants to follow the grammatical rules. The author chooses to capitalize the name of the Pokemon because they are essential to the story. This is the same reason why authors use fragments as sentences, ie, when you wrote in your review “or professor.” As a sentence, that was suppose to be separated by a comma, not a period. So among the grammar rules, you are incorrect if you want to go against the grammar rules.
so yall shouldn’t post comments judgin stories when yall cant even follow the guidelines yo-self.
And if yall really want to know the grammar rules i can lend yall a hand and proof read your comments for ya since apparently yall dont know The The rules ^_^

PS. You need a comma after Good lord because that is nonessential information… Just thought you should know. :P

Sadly, I didn’t get another response out of them, but this is beautiful enough.

10h agoAnglo-Chan

Thank you for taking the time to review.

Though there are flaws with the science, I am going to say, for one- that this is a fanfiction, a story, and things will definitely be off put from reality. A fictional story is where an author is allowed to bend what they wish to their will, so why not? I won’t rewrite the prologue for these flaws concerning DNA and bacteria. They’re just there, basically for an explanation as to the coming plot.
I restated as to what was said in the chapter just to summarize what happened, in case some readers were confused. The data is stated in a rushed way because the disease has been circulating for a while. It wouldn’t be wise of Chasen fell asleep while his daughter was suffering; though yes, he would have to submit sometime. It’s just to show the meaning of the disease and how important it is that near every channel is talking about it, and how quickly information about the disease flies around because of the weight of its fatality.
Thank you for your notes on my grammar. I will try to improve.
However, though your criticism is appreciated in helping me become better, the note at the end of the review about not asking for OCs was unnecessary. It is my story, and I have the right to do what I want with it, as do you to yours. Even if the information is wrong, I’m going to leave it as it is. It may bother you or others, but it’s just an explanation as means to a plot, and will hold no more important bearing whether or not bacteria can alter a genetic structure. This was why I didn’t put this story under the Sci-Fi genre. Please respect this.

Thank you for your time.

10h agoAnglo-Chan

Also; I forgot to mention, I did mean Omega, rather than the O Blood Type. Omega will later relate to Alpha, which is noted in the summary.

55m agoHipsterBubble

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/9984381/

I really like your reviewing, and I totally appreciate your advises! xD Of course, porn is banned on this site. But if you do take a look at the amount of these types of stories, it is appalling to see them, since they’re also rated M for that reason… Haha… And I’ve also seen plenty of stories with POVs labeled too xD. No, I’m not trying to be rude by refuting everything you say, it’s just that reviews like these are actually pretty delicate to deal with! :D I truly appreciate your efforts in reading my terribly written fanfictions and some weird little scenes here and there. In all honesty, no one has actually corrected me this fervently. I do love the way you write reviews and everything. It gives motivation to write better. Your review is really helpful, and thanks for the advises. I will keep in mind what you have mentioned. ;)