A response to your review at http://www.fanfiction.net/r/8884680/

You know, I never proofread that well. I definitely made mistakes in this, grammar wise.

However, I am well aware of all those corrections, and will probably go back and fix that up as soon as possible. It is not my intention to fail on purpose. You gave me a righteous lashing of English there. Maybe I am getting rusty because I am on holidays..

With the your/you’re though, I always get confused. Not with their/there/they’re that I understand perfectly. However the your/you’re thing confuses me greatly. I think my word spell check is to blame for that though. I consistently see things wrong with the sentence, but it just doesn’t work out without thee you’re with spell check.

Just another thing I need to work on.

With that thing, it was essential to the plot. Not my story, not my plot. Going off the other persons story line here. And it makes a little sense. Oak has very important things to do (SO EVERYONE SAYS) And only has time for pokemon catching once a year?

I don’t know. That confused me a little at first as well.

Yeah, I should have done that. My bad.

And he is not just lured into it because of the pokemon. He is threatened, but he also desperately wants to leave his town, because of the bullying and what not. I know full well that bullying doesn’t just stop because someone tells you to. Oak wouldn’t have any power over his grandson in that matter. Bullies are a tricky situation. He is scarred, and he probably wasn’t taught right from wrong?

Dunno. Also, about the living at home thing, would you want to live with someone who bullied you because of your lack of parents?

Yeah, didn’t thing that would be the case. He stayed in his Mothers house as he grew up I guess, with support from Oak.

That is basically all I can tell you right now. In future, please ignore, or in fact, message me again what mistakes I made and I will fix them, but I will try to explain anything else like the pokemon part in future. Thanks for the criticism and the fantastic review :D

A response to your review at http://www.fanfiction.net/r/8884680/

I am on a roll, aren’t I? xD

Ohh, the grammar mistakes I am making :P I am not the best.

I don’t know what a misogyny is. I might have to look that up. There is no Jesse, James and Meowth in this fic, so James’ serious side shows here.

Ash is badass in this fic. At least, that is how I am hoping to make him out as. He is like a 10 year old prodigy. Honestly, I don’t know whether this is the fic for you. Whilst I appreciate your input, I do make mistakes. However, as a writer myself, I slowly develop characters. You won’t see Ash become anything worthwhile until maybe chapter 5. If you don’t like that, don’t read, I guess.

I thought the same thing when I adopted this, but to respect the story, I kept it this way. If you really want to see the differences I made, go check out the original. I think you might thank me for at least attempting to do something with the story after you read her version.

And maybe. I try to use commas at all intervals, but I guess it just isn’t enough. Maybe because I talk fast IRL I don’t use commas?

Pfft, I don’t, know. It, isn’t like, me to use, commas, all the, time.

Anyway, thanks again for your input :D Loving it!

A response to your review at http://www.fanfiction.net/r/8886206/

Hey! thanks for pointing me that out I’ll change it right away
again thanks for telling me
-Star

A response to your review at http://www.fanfiction.net/r/8887038/

The Pokemon go by names, so usually if you were to look at the way people usually say the names of Pokemon, they always start in capitals, I wouldn’t capitalize ‘mouse’ or ‘dragon’ but I would capitalize something like ‘Dialga’ because it is a name, just like if someone were named Nolan you would capitalize it, Pokemon is a name of a anime series so that it also capitalized, I capitalize professor when I am putting it in a form of a name just like you would capitalize ‘Mr’ or ‘Mrs’ you would also capitalize ‘Professor’ or ‘Prof.’ Also, I do not really care about grammar much ’cause I am doing this as a hobby, also I am not good at it. I will not take any shit about grammar, spelling or any other punctuation; So quit your bitching. I do not need a spell checker or a beta reader, and even if I would need one I could not afford one, since I am just thirteen years old. You need to stop criticizing people for issues like this, it drives the writers nuts.

A response to your review at http://www.fanfiction.net/r/8887152/

Thanks for the review princess.

I failed English at school (I’m an early drop-out) so all my grammer is self-taught. I’m not making excuses; I’m just saying it’s nice to be told what’s correct.

I wrote six chapters of this but I deleted it because of mega trollers. They were beginning to clutter my email to the point of not being able to use it.

One chapter was reposted at request.

Regarding the pokemon types, I took (perhaps unjustified) creative licence. Instead of the traditional types and weaknesses in the game I based them off real animals and science.
An example of what annoys me is how flying types are weak against electricity, when in reality a bird in the air would be unharmed by lightning as there is no circuit formed.

Lizards and turtles are largely tropical creatures. Bulbs, however,
survive well in colder climates.

That is the reason for my straying from cannon.

I’m not writing anymore. But in any case I thank you.

Cheers

Zakar

A response to your review at http://www.fanfiction.net/r/8888579/

I see the points you’re making, especially the mention of the weird area the magnemite is in with emotions. I was actually thinking the same thing about it, but wondered if it was nothing, but I’m glad you pointed it out. It tells me it is a problem.

The same thing with the ways it “sees”, I’ll have to fix that, too.

I’m going to go back and rewrite this chapter, and tweak it a bunch so that it will hopefully be interesting.

I’m not even going to pretend I have an excuse for spelling errors.

And last, I’d honestly like to thank you for going out of your way to help me out. It means a lot.

A response to your review at http://www.fanfiction.net/r/8888619/

Awww yeah thanks for the long paragraph…
I needed that!

I think you misspelled ‘Nice story’
:/

A response to your review at http://www.fanfiction.net/r/8887335/

Thank you for the corrections, Farla! I will try to pay more attention to this next time. (I am busy writing 8 other stories at the same time…)

A response to your review at http://www.fanfiction.net/r/8887335/

My point of the entire story was not about Team Rocket, btw. They are not the main characters or even close to being bad guys compared to people who I will reveal in the next chapters…

A response to your review at http://www.fanfiction.net/r/8889331/

Thank you for your review. Considering the author is 11 and it’s her first story, grammatically correct dialogue is pretty good :)

A response to your review at http://www.fanfiction.net/r/8887142/

Well, first off I’d like to say that your review comes off as rather condescending and excessively rude, but I’ll reply to it anyway.

I do mean blackened by fire. That’s why I said blackened, and not darkened.

Mew doesn’t really have a theme, especially when you take her as being the ancestor pokemon and therefore one of the two most important and powerful legendaries. The powers they’re granting here are more a generic uplifting than an infusion of their own personal essence.

Of course it’s a visual image. I’m trying to evoke visual images. That’s what writing is about, a lot of the time. And I disagree with it being silly, I think it looks good.

And what else would I call it? I suppose I could call it power points, but they’re a mechanic very tied to the games that I don’t intend to carry over.

This could be caused by the upload to FFN, could be me screwing up, or could be me disagreeing with your definition of paragraph. I’ll look through it to check for the former two.

I’ve always hated that rule of punctuation. I think it’s rather pointless.

Hadn’t realised how cliche that was. I wonder why I did that. I get on better with my mother than my father.

Why not? Speaking in third person is a thing people do sometimes, and you can know you’re being stupid and still do it. You seem to overestimate the level headedness implied by being self-aware.

While that would clearly be optimal, as soon as they try to say that she runs off before letting them.

…yknow, I think you’re right on that one. As well as making her look less stupid, it opens a lot more plot paths for future things. On the other hand, it removes Ellen’s agency, and I don’t want her to come out of this clean, and if she gets possessed by anyone’s fault other than her own, she does. You’re also right that it’s slightly illogical that she wasn’t informed about this earlier, but I can’t really think of a neat way to make her go near it if she knows. What’s more, it’s believable that you’d not want to tell a child about demons, even though it doesn’t stand up to scrutiny.

I don’t see how those two connect. A karmic fall is pretty much just a fall that happens to someone who deserves it, and in this case the deserving victim isn’t so much the parents as the dynasty. Admittedly, it’s hard for me to write bits that bear out aforementioned fall, since I identify too much with them, but I can likely do so when I get a chance. If/when I redraft it, I’ll see if I can fit that advice in, though.

My pokemon setting is pretty much as much mine as theirs now. This story has the least elements from pokemon in it, but they do feature. Just… not so much in this story, and not really at all in that chapter.

Thanks for the time and the advice. Interesting to see someone still around after all this time.

A response to your review at http://www.fanfiction.net/r/8889582/

Thanks for the advice, but if you saw the message at the bottom it says that I know this story was crappy shit. Yeah, I repeated myself there, too! I can’t make a good hook for anything, ya know. You think it’s easy to explain something only you can understand? I’ve written other stories on other sites. You think I don’t know I repeated myself? I know that you’re a better writer than I am because, well, you’re giving me this advice. But some of this is personal information. All the characters are people I actually know. From Charmander/Nam to Eevee/Vy. I don’t usually reply to criticism, but sorry, I am not used to this site. On my other story site, oh, you would have a heart attack. You leave this comment over there, sorry, bad luck that people ganged up on you and cussed you out. Thanks for the review though! But I doubt I won’t be seeing you any time soon, correct?