19h agoLeafxGreenx3A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/10963425/

Hello!

I just wanted to thank you for your review. I’ve seen you review a couple of stories in the past, and I’ll be honest: I was kinda afraid of what you’d say if you had read my stories I’ve written in the past. Though I do like criticism, I can’t seem to handle them well when it’s blunt (much like how you do it). However, as I got older, I’ve learned to embrace them. Which is why when I saw that you reviewed my newest story I was prepared to accept your words. I was quite surprised to see that you were OK with it because I rarely ever feel confident about my writing, so I wanna thank you.

And yes, I completely forgot to mention it was an AU, so I apologize if you thought it was set in the Pokemon universe. I just feel like I don’t have the ability to write it set in canon, so that’s why I wrote it as an AU with the characters sticking to their personalities. However, because it’s been years since I’ve seen Pokemon, I realize that the characters are not like their canon selves, so I completely understand what you meant in that part of your review.

I do hope to see more of your reviews in future chapters, if you do plan on continuing. If you don’t, I don’t blame you at all since most readers do prefer the setting to be set in canon.

Well, I kind of rambled a little bit here, but I just want to thank you again for the review. Many writers may see your reviews as harsh and want to swear at you, but I really think that your reviews are helpful. Have a wonderful day!

-Leafxgreenx3

17h agoThe Chosen StorytellerA response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/10965494/

Well, that’s a bigger review than I expected. Do you mind if I reply to those pointed out places? I want to respond civilly…because throwing fits aren’t my style.
Okay, let’s begin with…the beginning? Whew, that didn’t sound clever. Okay, yes let’s just begin proper:
1:
I am really confused. “Why even do this?” The way I see this is that you didn’t have a good introduction to the story. If that’s the case, please explain. I don’t know what you’re saying with that, and it would honestly help me to see where the flaws lie. If its the description that bothers you, then does it sound crappy? Eye-melting? Barf-inducing? Cheesy? I mean, what?
Now if you mean “why write this story in general” then I can explain that myself: because I do like Pokémon. It’s a short answer, but I wanted to write for something I’ve loved since I was a child.
2:
I’m always awkward with words. I’m one of those socially awkward people, but I thought writing would help me so later in life I don’t make bullshit excuses for why I never changed myself for the better. I’m not going to change overnight; everyone can conquer a problem, but they can only do so after extreme practice and willpower. I know I’m a lazy ass, but I’m doing as much as I can to be less stupid when it comes to words.
About the beta reader suggestion…I have considered. But of course, I want to pick the right person. I worry that some beta readers may act snooty simply for “mastering” a language. I have seen at least one teacher who spoke “properly” and would often act like I was low class for not speaking the same way. Sorry for rambling about that. But the point is: I don’t want to deal with someone who gets a big head over knowing their correct nouns and verbs.
3:
I would have been capitalizing if my trashy keyboard would comply. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t It’s a gamble, but I haven’t the money for a new computer entirely.
Maybe someday. *Looks to the sky longingly*
By the way, I’ve never been good at writing dialogue. I hate talking scenes, but what can I do? They’re necessary. I don’t want to sound offensive, but you did kind of offend me when you started explaining how dialogue works. I don’t want to sound rude, however. It’s just…I get embarrassed when people point out that simple stuff. I’m a freaking teenager, but I haven’t mastered simple rules of my own language. I feel so screwed up.
4:
That was supposed to be charming.
………I know I suck.
5:
Puberty happens early in some people. It’s not a stretch to say Blue notices skirt flips or Leaf is trying to catch a boy’s attention.
Also, it’s interesting how people ship these two. Despite them being eleven or sometimes ten from author to author. Aging them up still counts as shipping two “children” and doing the age lift just for the fantasy of two “children” making out and groping. Have you ever seen that kind of stuff? What about the fanart of ten year olds like May or Misty having unrealistic breasts or rears?
“obligatory training” Um, what? Seriously, that’s vague.
Also, I think you’re trying to say the only thing you liked was Leaf choosing Bulbasaur instead of something “cooler”. Fine, I can’t stop you from that opinion.
6:
Hey, I wasn’t trying to be offensive with that comment. A lot of people in various fandoms bash girls in short skirts saying “oh she’s such a shore slut I hate her”. I was trying to say that I do not think of her like that. Personally, I don’t like seeing girl characters get abused just because they were a short skirt. And that’s not the girl’s fault; it’s the artist for drawing that. The artist could have drawn her in a modest pair of trousers, but a short skirt was chosen. More than likely a tactic for fanservice because “sex sells” in their eyes.
Again, I am offended about the name-calling. If anything about me is an ass, it’s literally my ass and it being lazy because I sit too much.
Now, I could have called you a name in return you know. I can think of several words off the top of my head, but I’m not saying any of them. I want to keep this civil because I really get annoyed at senseless things like that.
Anyway, well I can see you must have hated this story. But it’s cool; I’m deleting the piece of shit.
I don’t think I could bear another second of it.
So I hope that’s satisfying to hear. Deleting it means you won’t have to suffer through more. If I did make you suffer, I apologize.

17h agoa-rod48A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/10966567/

I’m sorry if i am doing something against the rules… but what exactly do you mean? I assume you mean beginning each line with who is speaking.

If that is the case, what would you recommend I do?

16h agoknightofhyruleA response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/10968812/

Ouch already a bad review right off the bat hahaha. Thank you for replying to my story even though it is still relatively new. I like how you broke down parts of the story you didn’t like or wanted to point out and then gave an explanation, that makes it easier for me to improve as a writer. First off, the bolded parts of my story that I have included are to get the reader guessing as to why that mentioned bolded part was added. It’s to foreshadow something that I had mapped out for the future of my story or it’s to explain what’s happening in the present of the story to the reader, however I can see where you’re coming from and will definitely think about what you have said for this(It’s kind of hard to explain in words what I wanted to do with the bolded text, kind of where and how I wanted my story to start/develop. I know it sounds stupid but I couldn’t help it). Next was grammar. I am a big grammar Nazi and I really would like to thank you for pointing out my big error with Pokemon names and my error with quotations. Next, I like how you pointed out the visual shorthand of “The well dressed man sweatdropped”. I definitely should have just wrote down a thought for him to express his emotions. This is where things are a bit different. There is a very big reason as to why Oak is shown to be incompetent. This part of my fanfiction takes place during the time of where us(the people who played Pokemon growing up) only knew of the first 150 Pokemon and the other regions at the time were not known of. In the case of the story, other regions are rarely known about if they are not part of the ‘Pokemon League'(I was going to emphasize this greatly in later chapters, probably should have included a part to explain that). Oak, along with most regions that are a part of the Pokemon League, know little to nothing about the regions that a part of it(Hoenn, Sinnoh, Unova, etc.) so that’s why I made him not appear incompetent but excited. Next is to how they have these Pokemon when Oak and other people don’t. I tried to make it obvious that the ‘Magnus Corporation’ as a shipping company, travels the globe frequently and eventually paves the way to opening up stronger communications/relations to the other regions(made known in future chapters) which join the Pokemon League. The breeding program part, that was poorly worded and I definitely should have elaborated on that much more than I did, great catch. Oak was meant to be ‘impressed’ with the size of the company and the kinds of Pokemon they had, not to be inconsiderate of the Pokemon. And we come to your last statement….oh boy I really don’t know how to break this one to you. In no way(not sure why you thought of this), is this line or my story for that matter sexist. I take that as an insult personally. The reason is because as I’m sure you caught on, Danza is an Aura user, and an incredibly gifted one at that. I was going to reveal in later chapters what makes him special and I was going to go to great depths with why only the ‘gifted’ male members of their family have Aura, it is a crucial plot point in the future. There were intended to be female OC’s that were to be unique Aura users, but wouldn’t appear until a very specific point in the story. I am basing a bit of this family off of my own real life family(considering Danza is a representation of the gamer being put into the shoes of the in-game avatar) where we have old traditions and beliefs from around 1500 years ago, in Europe, so I thought it would be neat to do a little bit of a crossover of the two. I was going to make a big scene with Danza and one of these female OCs and how times had changed drastically from the Maxwell family’s ‘ancient traditions’ to the new modern times of the Pokemon world in my story. In no way whatsoever was that statement or my story for that matter, intended to be sexist. Your sarcasm(at least it appears that way through text) at the end there was offensive, and makes me feel unwelcome on the sight thus far(sad face). That last statement aside, your review(my first one!) was constructive criticism and helped me see some of the flaws that existed in my story. I greatly appreciate the time you took from your life to point out my story’s issues(I hope you found it interesting at least :D). My closing statement would be that I will go back and make some readjustments(since the story is still new and doesn’t have that much traffic yet) to make it more pretty. Again thank you and I hope you do not take that statement on Danza’s family tradition as offensive. Moran taing!(Thank you!)

16h agoThe mysterious PokefanA response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/10969085/

Okay, let’s see. First of all, I am writing “Hi,” she said. Second capitalizing Pokemon names, I only capitalize names like Pikachu (Ash’s pikachu), and more of HIS pokemon. I may have capitalized Froakie, when it was introduced. And Professor, I think I should capitalize professor because I am referring to a proper noun (Professor Sycamore/ Oak).
And third opening the story with a character waking up is boring? I think you have never really watched the starting of the anime, every starting episode has a character waking up for the day. And making them eat food, watch the Black and White Adventures in Unova and Beyond’s last episode, it ended with showing Ash etc eating food. I am keeping it as real as possible.
And if my grammar is not good, I don’t really care. Grammar has never been my strongest point and I am fine with that, I just want my readers to understand what I am trying to explain and that is all. But I am trying to improve by your reviews.

16h agoWhat does it tell? I think it is fine, and this whole part has been beta read and edited by another author and I don’t thin that there are some grammar mistakes.

16h agoOkay, I will look after all this grammar, but I still really don’t pay a lot of attention towards it. In the chapter , I have been paying attention to not putting a full stop in the end, and rather adding a comma.
And if you say I should find someone else, then why don’t you beta read my stories?
And I thanks for pointing out my mistakes.

14h agoSpiralZebraA response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/10968980/

That’s exactly the point. No one else was doing it so I took the initiative. It’s there for the people who want it. It’s the dark side of pokemon. Just like there’s animal cruelty, there’s pokemon cruelty.

13h agobelleshipper’s graceHello Farla.
Well, there’s not to say much, but thank you. I have considered your reviews and I have tried to follow them. I have even changed Hero’s destiny. I got the idea for a songfic by reading some.
But well,you are right. I should get some of my own ideas. I will try to look after my grammer. And I request you to help me with my stories.
Again, thank you very much.

9h agoConstruct MasterA response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/10965604/

Right: two things. First off, the plot hole about Gardevoir not caring about the Pokemon is good. Actually, hearty thanks! You just gave me a chapter idea and an edit to make.
Second, if you don’t have anything nice to say, please don’t say anything at all. Seriously, either send it as a PM or please leave me alone. I don’t want to sound rude but I’m really starting to get annoyed. I’ve spent time on fanfiction; There are a lot more stories worse than mine. I’m not going to write angry reviews back to you. I’d rather get some mercy than do some harm.
I don’t adhere strictly to the writing rules all the time. It’s often my brain on autowrite, and these are stories written and to be read for fun, not a research paper. As of yet, I’m not getting a grade.
…You probably get this a lot. Well, I’m still saying it: PM the grammar analysis or leave me alone. But the last paragraph, that’s fine. That’s exactly what reviews are for, to show the author plot holes or things to improve, and provide suggestions.

Thank you, -Construct Master

6h agoQTKOkay, so I saw one of your reviews on a rather random pokémon story that seemed quite brutal. Although, at the same time it wasn’t what I (personally my self) would call a flame.

Reading around a bit, I see a lot of people call you a troll. What I am wondering is– are you actually a troll, or just a really hard-ass grammar Nazi? Reason I ask is, if you had reviewed one of my newer fics, I actually wouldn’t be mad. (Mind you, I haven’t posted anything new to in years. I mostly write on tumblr and my current preferred fan fiction medium of choice is actually fairly unknown.) Criticism isn’t a bad thing, and quite frankly a lot of fanfic on this site is just so terribly written that sometimes a little tough love is just what the doctor ordered. I would love to see more actually well structured stories here for a change lol.

So yeah, just some honest curiosity– and I in no way shape or form claim to be good at grammar/spelling/format. I don’t think my stuff is unreadable (my newer stuff, I mean) but if you wanna rip into something I write, feel free although the older shit I posted would be pointless, as I am aware it’s terrible. I may post a Palletshipping fanfic sometime. I’ve been playing around with the idea for a while.

5h agoJay4921A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/10967424/

Wow, thank you for this AMAZING feedback. First off, the key. The reasoning I have the a poke-speech non-translated in there, is because if say Misty were to call pikachu, just as in saying the name. I don’t want people to confuse it on whether it’s pikachu saying it, or just someone calling to him. Thank you for the info on dialogue. I have never been good at it, so this comment will help me a lot when it comes to that. Lastly, I think you misunderstood what houndour meant. He’s not just saying that enslaving their kind is okay, he’s saying that the child has done nothing wrong. Not all human are necessarily going to become bad. Part of the reason he went with the boy, is so he’s apparent pokemon speaking ability won’t be put in the wrong hands. Again, thank you so much for this amazing comment, it helped me a lot. This is my first story ever, so I’m sorry if there are part where their isn’t enough detail, bad grammar etc.

3h agoRobotic FoxA response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/10967594/

Thank you very much for the critique, especially the the punctuation with dialogue. I have always been iffy on that, so thank you for educating me on that. I will remember that next time I write.

The Pokemon was iffy for me because when they encounter one in both the show (with the subtitles) and the books, they capitalize them? So its weird, but I can see your point and I might consider them! Thank you also for that.

Thank you for not holding back on your critique, this is extremely helpful. You have a good day!

1h agoDeathcore Vengeance2017A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/10968186/

Thanks for the review, I really appreciate it!
I’m not sure if I’m even a native speaker in English because I was born in Canada but came to China a couple of times. And last thing I do have beta readers.

1h agoSomething I forgot to mention, I’m a student with an English level of ESL-EO. So I’m sorry for those bad writing.

Jan 12Hey you bitch! Don’t you know how ugly you are? Oh…sorry, you don’t because you think of yourself as miss high and mighty. You’re nothing but a stupid narcissistic and egotistic slut. If your grammar is so great then why are your stories full of flames. Just hang yourself you attention-whore.

16h agoARE YOU DEAD YET? BECAUSE YOUR CRONIES ARE STILL RAMPANT AND RUNNING AROUND! GO TO HELL BITCH!