“Is the fact that Jasmine is a sue really an issue?”
Jan 5SuffocationXJay
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/9983210/
To be fair, everyone has a different approach. I have my own scenarios about how I imagine Legendary Pokemon, and so I posted them. If you see things differently, that’s okay, but these are my views.
To be fair, these are the Pokemon themselves, as mentioned, they still have their powers, tasks, duties, and friendships. I really don’t see what the problem is here, especially considering I’m not the first one to do this.
21h ago
PotatoChipCrisps
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/9988828/
Thanks for the suggestions! Not joking here, you taught me more than my English teacher. I’m still learning about creative writing (if that’s what it’s called) so I’m sure to make mistakes along the way.
As for the part where you said he made his actions too quickly, that is intended as Kirlia will question this in the future (hint: he had medical experience).
Thank you again, and I’ll be sure to keep your review in mind
20h agoClockworkMimi
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/9985320/
Yes well to start off with, I’m not a professional writer and I do not write like one, I am only twelve. No one has ever commented on how I write speech and unless I have more than one person telling me that I’m doing it wrong, I doubt I would change it. You also must remember I wrote this after finishing the game and the side story. The always capitalise the Pokemon names and Pokemon itself and, as far as I know, that hasn’t changed through the games, books or anime. Same with Professor, they do use it as part of their names therefore it’s capitalised.
Thank you for telling me what you actually thought of it, eventually.
14h agoSecret Saturn
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/9990383/
The real reason I kept her in her regular clothes is because I felt it would just be easier to imagine. Yes, I do have problems with grammar/spelling. I try to catch that. But usually when I see Pokemons names they’re always capitalize. Thats why I thought it was always capitalize. I know I’m not perfect, at least I reread it better then I usually do. I focused more on the your and you’re and their there and they’re more than everything else because I usually make a mistake with that. Sorry.
13h agoKage no Tamashi
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/9990520/
You do realize that your the only person too complain? Most people can deal with mistakes like this… For gods sake this is his FIRST story in the history of history itself… But we (ME AND SY) thank you for making this constructive!! It helps when people don’t flame…
13h agoKage no Tamashi
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/9991103/
I realize that… Why do you think I made Sy Kage do it? And its 70 words… Besides I’m horrible at this stuff…
Sweet as a Unicorn
https://www.fanfiction.net/u/5188599/
So we’ll never know the ending!
Sweet as a Unicorn
https://www.fanfiction.net/u/5188599/
15h agoCodiac-Shift
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/9989984/
1) I agree, though that was more of a typo on my part.
2) I’m not, there is a point to giving it it’s appearance that will be revealed later.
3) What about if there’s no one who wishes to take the time and call the police? Ever seen any police in Pallet Town anyway?
4) Yes, but he could feel as though he was a burden. Part of the story is his opinion of himself.
5) My mistake, i don’t remember putting a number. I usually do type them out.
6) Another good point, but also, i feel the need to point out; I never said the kid was smart nor did i say that he had a well formulated opinion of himself.
6) Saying about shows that he is uncertain. Also, i agree. it is awkwardly worded but this is also my first story and i’m trying my best.
7) And maybe it’s just the way you chose to describe it but i don’t believe i understand what you mean by “avoiding the other pitfalls in the journey itself”? I probably have not thought about but if i’ve not i would like to do so before i progress further in the story.
Despite my first thought being “Dang, i screwed up.”, I really do appreciate you taking the time to describe all these things to me. However, i hope it wasn’t in an attempt to show how terrible of a writer i am…. Besides, in the end, I do this to improve my writing skills in general. Thank you for being honest and helping me. Maybe i’ll be able to find a way to better clarify some things and also make them less awkwardly worded.
14h ago[ 3) What about if there’s no one who wishes to take the time and call the police? Ever seen any police in Pallet Town anyway? ]
Just think about what you wrote here for a few seconds. How exactly do you think the police work, anyway?
[4) Yes, but he could feel as though he was a burden. Part of the story is his opinion of himself.]
Hearing someone talk about something that isn’t actually their fault tends to come off more “pity me PITY ME PITY MEEEEEEEEEEE” than at all sympathetic. Imagine you know this kid. You know that there’s no objective way it makes sense to whine about how he’s a burden, then imagine listening to him whine about it all the time anyway. Would you like hearing this, or feel that he’s got an annoying martyr complex and you wish he’d shut up about it for once?
[i don’t believe i understand what you mean by “avoiding the other pitfalls in the journey itself]
The real problem with overage trainers is that pokemon training is mostly determined by the pokemon’s ability, not the trainers. Or in other words, he’s going to get his a** handed to him by any eleven year old unless you can do really good job of explaining why not.
12h ago3)Yeah…
4) Mhmm. I’m glad you understand. That’s part of it. Changing and growing from the adventure. Seemingly arrogant to others in the story and self-pitying to the readers.
5) Ah. I see. Well, yes, I have actually thought about that. Even though he hasn’t been able to go on a journey he has trained and worked as hard as he could given the circumstances. Basically, if you want to go off the video game terms, he is basically starting out with a growlithe that is around level 20. And i’ll say he has experience from battling and training so much on his own. Not as effective as a journey but still possible.
Also, on a different note, I think that if you tried to appear slightly less condescending to people your intelligence and advice would be a lot more welcome. I thank you for it now but I’ve not seen many others do so. Try not to act as though you’re dealing with some 12 year old. And even If you are dealing with a 12 year old, give them some respect and they will probably return the favor. If they don’t treat you with the same then oh well, you still walk away the better person.
Another thing is if you tried giving suggestions for improvement, many people would be grateful and will take it well. That is, as long as you present it nicely. All in all, just try to make it seem like they’re important and worth your time. If you truly think that they’re not, then don’t grace them with it.
11h agoAirenee
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/9991745/
Well, I’m not that big an expert in writing nor am I an avid reader who is sensitive to details like that. I only started writing last summer and this is so far my only experience I have in writing so forgive me if I made mistakes like that. I’m still learning a few things at a time.
I do research in Bulbapedia, the descriptions always write pokemon beginning with capital letters.
I made two shiny to match the scarves that are colored based on my friend’s fave colors and patterns. The Minccino has red eyes because it was a reference to my other story. Being half-shiny is just a joke. Momo is not a shiny. Every time that I refer to a Minccino, my friend always thinks of Momo so I included her. The unique shade of her eyes just set her apart as one of my OCs.
I don’t really understand much of the use of semicolons. MS Word just corrects me that way. I’m merely looking into the pattern and trying to understand. I don’t really give much research to the technicalities. I just want to express my ideas in what I can do.
9h agoRedWarrior702
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/9990105/
Thank you for checking out my story!
I honestly thought I was abiding by that first rule you posted first. I’ve been going by it for a while but apparently there were some mistakes I’m still making.
I often forget to not capitalize when the creature is generalized and not being referred to by name, and I will try to better myself at that.
After looking back at this, I do see that I can improve in detailing the action instead of dialogue. But at the same time the antagonist is supposed to be a little bit loud-mouthed, or at least was meant to be in my mind when writing him.
I see that there should be more description of the actual happenings and I’ll work to improve that in the next chapter.
5h agoA response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/9986214/
Can I just be a pain here for a moment? Pokémon and Pikachu and Charizard are all proper nouns. Play any Pokémon game and you’ll find that they are always capitalised, and until Gen V were written in all capitals, e.g. CHARIZARD and PIKACHU. 99% of well-written fics also acknowledge this. I realise this really isn’t any of my business and all but as a Grammar Nazi it kinda annoyed me that you would say that.
Is the fact that Jasmine is a sue really an issue? First-time authors have to have something to base their characters on, after all, and until more experience is acquired using oneself isn’t a terrible idea – after all, who knows you better than you? There could be any number of reasons why she didn’t start at ten, maybe the author or the characters think that’s too young, or maybe the opportunity didn’t present itself until now. And the whole starting at ten thing isn’t set in stone anyway – there’s a whole Trainer class on the Gen V and VI games called Preschoolers who are obviously younger than ten.
I realise that you’re entitled to your own opinion, you clearly don’t like the story and have taken your valuable time to let the author know about it. But slating virtually everything she’s done isn’t really very helpful, particularly when those slatings are based on reasoning which is sketchy at best. I’m just looking out for a friend here.
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Also, a reply from AshKetchumForever that was too beautiful to leave out: