” I merely use the games as my template for how words THAT THEY INVENTED work in grammar.”
I’m sick of the formatting rewiring itself if I dare edit the post, so let’s try using the non-bubble firefox formatting.
—
ramonbutcher13A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/9980722/
ok so thats why they change it.
—
Sorry but something went AWOL with the first story. I thank you for your contribution into the story and improving it. English isn’t my first language but that’s still no excuse. Thank you very much Farla
—
Thanks for the pointers.
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/9993515/Farla,
Thank you for reviewing! Now, on to business. I’ll be addressing all of your issues with my story (and gunning them down where they stand) in the order you wrote them.
1) Capitalization:
If I “shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard,” why is it that, in the actual games – scripted by actual big-shot-corporation people, gone over by multiple editors – they do the very same? I merely use the games as my template for how words THAT THEY INVENTED work in grammar. (i.e. “Welcome! This is the portal that leads to the world inhabited only be Pokémon”)
b, or 2) Semicolons:
I used semicolons three times. THREE, out of eleven and a half THOUSAND characters, and one of them was put in by Word in a spelling/grammar check. What is your issue with semicolons?
4, no, wait, 3) Dialogue Punctuation:
…Yeah, the things you’re having issues with never actually happened. Are you sure this isn’t some canned response thing that you have in some document, ready to copy-and-paste into reviews to criticize people? The closest I can find to this would be the TWO times I used “sighed” as a speech verb (which it can be), and the ONE time is used “breathed” as a speech verb (which it also can be).
d, or that little iv they put at the bottom of pages in books, or 4) Random Japanese:
I don’t actually care about your opinion on what language my characters speak unless you can give me a valid reason to have them not speak that language.
So, just to close up, potestas ad stilum! Ave calamo! I’m an author, and I can do whatever I want, so I don’t even need to listen to, or even reply to you, in the first place! Also, “i.e.” is an abbreviation for the Latin “id est,” meaning “that is.” As such, you need to punctuate it as an abbreviation, with the periods. Also, “Or professor” is a fragment due to the subordination conjunction at the beginning. Also, if it would so please you, I can come over to your stories and rip you a new one about your grammar, how does that sound?
Anyway, your input has been put on file and may be considered, and I thank you for your time in writing out what is, without a doubt, the longest review I’ve ever received.
-Zenog
—-
~~LongbowOfThePoet
JellyBeanie123A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/9992741/
Hey! Thanks for my first ever review and all the helpful stuff you commented on. I realise that so far the story doesn’t make much sense but it will after the next chapter or two. I didn’t want to cram everything in at once. Also while I appreciate everything you wrote, I made the father the ‘super leader’ as to create a male role model for the son. It seemed to make more sense because they were the same gender which would make a bond between them more easily understandable. Also I made the other sibling a sister as people tend to be more sympathetic towards a young girl than a young boy. Sexist I know, but that’s the world we live in… Anyway I will address all your issues and again much appreciated as I’m only just starting out as a writer on this site or anywhere as a matter of fact. Thanks for the help :)
-JellyBeanie123
Farla,
Thank you very much for your review and suggestions. This is the first
Fanfiction that I have ever written and posted online. I will definitely
use what you have said in the future chapters that I write. I am sorry
for the mistakes that I have made in this chapter and all of the
chapters to come.
xXNightmaresKilledAliceXx
Thank you for your comments.
You are right that the vast majority of Team Flare do not show the
behavior of this character. Does that mean that characters like that
cannot exist? Are we limited to a single stereotype of a character so
shallow it nearly ruined my enjoyment of what may be the most
interesting criminal team yet in the game proper?
This particular Team Flare grunt was developed by a friend of mine with
substantial input from me to answer a number of problems Team Flare
presents as potential villains in a post-game setting for a separate
piece, one that is in editing stages. I re-used him for this piece as a
character development exercise, as well as a trailer for the larger
work. You are right that he is “not convincing.” That was the point of
this story; the hairdresser would likely agree with you.
I do regret that I wasn’t able to slip more into the paltry 500 words
that the source challenge for this piece allows me, but them’s the
brakes. The purpose of this story is to act as a trailer, highlighting
some of the themes and characters that feature in a larger work and
generating interest in them. The idea was that the clear contrast
between the grunt’s words and deeds, his failure to be convincing, and
his complete disinterest in explaining his motivations would pique the
interest of a reader. While it has worked for some, I can see that was
not the effect it had on you, and I will keep that in mind when writing
future pieces of this nature. This piece and the challenge it was for
are complete, and I do not see myself rewriting it in the near future.
Thank you again.
—
austinf12—-
14h agoAnepichuman
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/9990484/
Not to be rude,but thanks for the grammar lecture,you sounded like my
english this is my first fanfic,please bear with me as I work out any
kinks with grammar,or pov problems.I promise things will get better as I
figure out how to fix for paragraphs and spacing,I am not really good
with Microsoft word,so things on the typing end of the story may not
always be closing,thanks for reading and please bear with me as I try to
work out the flaws.
Anepichuman
you. I have actually seen your profile and wondered how long it would
take to get flamed. I’m taking your advice, time to get a beta reader.
lol your profile bio
Just emailing to thank you for your review – I was never fully aware of
the inflections needed to interrupt speech with actions. Your review’s
gonna be a great help to me. Thanks!
EyeOfLight
—
Gara316A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/9995828/
Don’t care what u say to be honest. Im doing what i like to do.
Just going to rant a bit OK? If I wanted someone to criticise my style
of writing, I would have asked. If you’re giving me your speech about
your capitalizing rule, I just want to point out that the Professor part
of Professor Birch or Professor Oak is part of their name, it’s their
title. You wouldn’t call Mr X “mr X” would you? And a lot of people
capitalize Pokemon names, including me, so really, you’re just wasting
space on your review telling writers about it. I understand your angle
but to me, I don’t feel like it’s right to turn Charizard into
charizard.
And don’t tell me how to use dialogue in stories, I have heard too many rules about it.
I appreciate you reviewing but really, I feel like you’re making
everyone write in your style. Everyone has their little habits in
writing and that’s what makes them unique in their style.
You did review some of my old stories before my old account was deleted
and admittedly, it was pretty repetitive so that’s why I blocked you. It
was five years ago so I don’t expect you to remember.
Thanks for the idea at the end by the way, I could write a short chapter describing how the list came into being.
Sorry you didn’t like this… I’ll admit, it might not be my best idea,
so I can understand why some people could get upset. But still, thank
you for voicing your opinion!
I will try to stick to the speech as you have defined it from now on and will rewrite the chapter.
SpikeSunilA response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/9996971/
Sorry about that. I’m still learning how to use the correct format.