“3) Don’t you dare review my plot with only ONE chapter out. I don’t even set up the plot until chapter three, and that’s barely a hint.”
other people do it, but ok, I assume you are being helpful.
Hey, thanks for the tips! I will definitely look into the dialogue errors. I’m not used to writing fiction, so I really appreciate your help!
1) I have seen Pokémon spelled both “Pokémon” and “pokémon”. It doesn’t distract from the overall story, and I prefer the capital letter for aesthetic reasons. It’s just a preference, and frankly, you’re nitpicking. If you pick on stuff that small, then the rest of my grammar must be pretty good, ESPECIALLY compared to some grammar that I see on this site. And if I have to justify it, then think about this: “Pikachu” is capitalized, so why isn’t “human” capitalized?
2) My story is based off the world of A New Master’s Quest, as stated in the description. That story takes place on Planet Earth, not the Pokémon world. Your “cannon” doesn’t apply, especially since Tim, the MC in A New Master’s Quest, ALSO waited until he was 18, and for similar reasons. Thus, it is safe to live your life as an ordinary person without Pokémon. With three hundred plus million people in the United States alone, if everyone had a Pokémon, even one, then the world would be overpopulated with them. Add in China and you can forget about it. Based on THAT cannon, probably one out of twenty people have a Pokémon AT ALL, including family pets, so probably more like one Pokémon for every thirty or forty people with about half that number in the wild. This is guesstimating from descriptions of long walks in areas that in the games would have been impossible to traverse because of the number of Pokémon in existence in your “cannon”. In short, your premise for that comment is weak as shit.
3) Don’t you dare review my plot with only ONE chapter out. I don’t even set up the plot until chapter three, and that’s barely a hint.
In summary, you call yourself a critic, but that was the worst flame I’ve ever read. You reviewed my story before it even got off the ground with no idea what you’re talking about. You nitpick on details that don’t make or break a story. Frankly, I’ve had a better review that simply said, and I quote, “I like were your going”. Try again, and this time, do it right. I may respect your opinion then.
(I expect to see this one on the blog.)
Construct MasterA response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/10954176/
Thanks much! I was pretty much making up the Pokedex entry from how I wanted my Meloetta to be. I’ll make some changes soon.
As for the capital letters and semicolons, that’s pretty much my brain on autowrite. It will often capitalize key words that don’t grammatically need it, and semicolons show up because that’s how the sentences turn out. Sorry..
Construct MasterA response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/10954176/
On another note, what did you actually think of the story as a story? If you liked it, please take a look at A Loss and a Return. Thanks!
mediahybrid117Thank you for bringing this to my attention. I will be sure to keep an eye out for that in the future. However, at least I capitalize, punctuate, and try to spell things correctly. I’ve read a few fics that didn’t do any of the above and I couldn’t finish them. ‘Because’ should not be ‘cuz’ in storywriting. ”Cause’ at the very least in my opinion. Anyway, thanks again for reviewing. Good night.
I’m surprised and honored you gave me a review. I actually never thought I’d get one from you.
I tried to write this on the basis that the reader doesn’t actually know about the series, and I now see why that wouldn’t make much sense. This is fanfiction dot net, after all.
Common criticisms of my writing are my tendency to overemphasize and use detail at odd times. I’d like to thank you for pointing out where it was I could correct these quirks of mine unlike other people. I’ll get to work on revising this chapter right away. Thank you very much.
| Reviews for Ice |
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 To the guest below me chapter 17 . 1h ago
Well said!
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| Guest chapter 1 . 6h ago
First I won’t even bother to reveiw this story. It’s ages old and hopefully you realized your mistakes.
So I read some of your reviews. I ought to say that they are very harsh and that you should be more considerate of others. You might mess with the wrong person if you are not careful. Most of your reviews are petty copy and paste and hurts the author’s feelings therefore it is not positively constructive. Keep in mind that the author of the story will most likely not correct their mistakes because they are too busy freting over how mean and crude you were. The opinions you put are like insult to injury. A majority of them are just plain out rude and criticizing . If you can’t even make a story worth remembering and leaking with creativity, don’t you dare put your “helpful” opinions in it and start telling people how to write their story. It just makes you seems even more like a foolish troll. Thats not even the worst thing. You purposely pick on the new inexperienced don’t you pick on someone your own size for a change? Even worse than that you put on your profile that “it’s pokemon reveiwing month” as if it were a game to you. Its like you don’t even care and seem to enjoy the fact that hundreds of people don’t like you and that makes you seem like a attention seeking person. You even put on live journal on why you are doing this. Don’t deny it, I can add the link if you’d you go on your forums saying why you are doing it and it completely contradicts what you said on your live journal. That makes you a liar, and looks bad on your part.Also I wouldn’t be surprised if you, like many other people out there considered “trolls” suffer from either a behavior problem or a psychological problem. I believe that you should get yourself checked out, and before you throw in a defense and say you don’t have a problem, think again. These types of problems are first suspected by what is viewed as often times bad behavior, you seem like you have a problem so you brought this on yourself, and I won’t say why since you seem smart enough to figure that out on your own. If you disagree then it will certainly save you a lot of regret and guilt you will be feeling years from now if you would just quit this nonsense. Your attitude about this horrifies me. I’m not saying this to be hurtful, I’m saying this because it is true. Various studies prove it. So if you don’t want to be called mentally unhealthy or even worse words than stop. Further more I encourage you to get off your high horse and put yourself in a new young fanfiction writer’s shoes for once. As a writer I’d imagine that you can at least put yourself in a character’s head as you demonstrated here. Do that and try to imagine how it would feel if the first story you written got a such negative review. I don’t believe you are a passionate writer given that you haven’t finished this story and the quality of it, but imagine if you were passionate about it and some person just pulled it apart,just pointing out the flaws and implying that its trash. How would you feel? |
| Guest chapter 17 . Jan 8
farla is a pathetic excuse of a human being
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| Guest chapter 17 . Jan 8
You’re a waste of space in this world.
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| Guest chapter 17 . Jan 8
do you even have a life you fanfiction troll?
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| Guest chapter 17 . Jan 8
Shut The Fuck Up You Grammar-Obessed Bitch! Nobody Needs Your Nasty Advise! Screw You And Your New Year’s Resolution!
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| Guest chapter 17 . Jan 8
farla drinks toilet water and eats garbadge. then she spits out all the nasty junk at other people’s fanfiction. farla is worse than hitler and deserves to be shot down.
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| Guest chapter 17 . Jan 6
Grammer trolls like you deserves to get kicked in the balls.
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| farla suckz chapter 17 . Jan 6
you’re still going around and bitching about grammer on other peoples stories? well why don’t you get a life and learn to write a proper story plot before criticizing others, you lowlife grammer nazi?
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| Guest chapter 17 . Jan 5
are you in high school or something? if you are, major in english. this is good, really good.
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| Guest chapter 17 . Jan 5
This is a good fanfic – unfortunately I can’t give you any suggestions because my writing is horrible, just like you told me.
I’ve looked at your more recent fanfiction and your profile, and I can see that you’re a grammar enthusiast – a hardcore one. But here’s the question – while your writing has improved (I read one of your old fanfics before this), why don’t you ever seem to finish your many, many stories? Yes, it’s a very long list of works, and I’m impressed by your enthusiasm, but shouldn’t you at least tie loose ends before moving on or at least put up a notice saying that you’re no interest in continuing? But then again a LOT of writers don’t finish their works on this website (e.g. someone hasn’t updated at all since 2004), so sorry (this isn’t sarcasm). |
 Well this was chilling and disturbing. Fascinating, and interesting how she works with her pokemon.
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| Reviews for Amnesia |
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| Guest chapter 3 . 1h ago
Dialogue is not written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, always “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence does contain a speech verb, in which case it’s written as “Hello dumbbitch.” farla grinned like an idiot, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned. Note that something is a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is not in any category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “This is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” Also, remember that generally “said” is the best speech verb to use, and even more importantly, “stated” is no*** yada yada yada. is this what you call a review, you nasty cunt?you deserve an unhappy new year
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Clearly, it is YOU, Farla, who is the meanest reviewer ever.
On a scale from the polar ice caps to the Dead Sea, how salty are their tears?
More toward the ice caps, I think they’re running low on sodium. I should put out salt licks for them.
Hssss! The hypocrisssy! It burnsss usss!
I wonder how many of those anonymous reviews were done by people responded politely when their names can be seen.
Probably not. I’m pretty sure almost all of these are the same person as last year.
“Okay, so I have a bit of criticism for this story, and I apologize
greatly if this offends you, considering you’ve basically crushed all of
my twelve year old self’s hopes and dreams of being a good writer.
Well, I’m older now, a lot older, but still.”
Oh, I remember that one! It’s the heroic fantasy reviewer. You see, a long time ago you
burned down their hometownleft a harsh review on one of their stories, leaving them crying in hopelessness at your cruelty.But now they are older! Stronger! They are ready to take you down and end your evil reign of terror!
…Well, not really. It seems they needed to grind more.
Wow that one long review telling you to get checked for behavior problems is really off.
Behavior problems? Because you tell people how to fix grammar mistakes in their stories? If the reviews were listened to, they would be helpful. That means they’re not just flames or trolling.
It’s the people who can’t accept any criticism on something they posted to the public forum who need to reevaluate themselves.
(The long review may have had a point at the end, but new writers need criticism just as much as encouragement. Otherwise they write chapters in fifteen minutes and post them without spellchecking.)
Fanfics be srs bisness. These people are baring their SOULS to the world on every line; Farla is clearly an instrument of The Man trying to keep them down.
Perhaps it is just a fit of vanity, but I find it kinda hilarious to see all the insanity above my own little comment on Ice, I mean, really? I wonder if is different people, or just one poor sod who keeps coming back every time they think about you.
That’s why I included it! The progression makes me laugh inside.
Jan 1st: Regular review.
Jan 5th: Review + complaint.
Jan 6th+: MADNESS UNENDING
Maybe criticism can cut pretty deep if not handled sensitively, especially to those young and lacking confidence, but some of those replies are really horrible. I’m sorry you have to put up with that.