The last pokeuathors post turned out to have additional fallout!
St Elmo’s Fire,
A new review has been posted to your story.
Story: Blood is Thicker than Water
Chapter: 1. Chapter 1
From: Mad Ass Dragon ( https://www.fanfiction.net/u/6911156/ )
Reply URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/pm2/post.php?rwid=251697420
You say s*** about good writers, and yet you post crap like this on here. I couldn’t even finish reading it, I was yawning far too much. It’s boring and pure b***, narcissistic crap.
Do this site a favour and learn to write something that is actually WORTH reading, before you start hating on good writer’s work.
Guest has it right, do the world a favour and follow their advice.
But since I know you won’t, I suggest LEARNING TO WRITE before telling someone else they’re a crap writer.
(Raises middle finger) Go f*** yourself. I’m done here.
It tickles me that they felt the need to say “(Raises middle finger)”.
Since they were foolish enough to leave a signed review, I decided to play with them a bit.
re: Your review to Blood is Thicker than Water
Jun 29A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12311847/
[It’s boring and pure bullshit, narcissistic crap.]
Hm, that’s interesting! Most people liked the story. Could you elaborate on this? If there’s an area where I can improve, I’d love to hear about it!
1h ago(Taps finger on chin, thinking carefully) Yeah I know something you can do, actually try writing something worth reading. This is pure crap, I wouldn’t even wipe my ass with it. There’s no conflict, just a pointless argument, no character growth no signs that you’ve put any effort into the character, besides making Hau yourself.
Next time you rage on Murloc Rampage’s work, saying it’s self indulgent, take a look at your own crap first. This is nothing more than a lonely person acting out a fantasy, and expecting people to bow down and praise it.
Get some decent skills, think of something that’s worth reading, and actually make your crap be something that doesn’t make the reader fall asleep before its even finished.
1h ago[There’s no conflict, just a pointless argument, no character growth no signs that you’ve put any effort into the character, besides making Hau yourself.]
Again, can you elaborate? There is a conflict, but it’s primarily internal (Man Vs. Self). I don’t understand what you mean by “pointless argument”, or that there’s no character growth? I’d say Hau changes significantly over the course of the story. I’m also not sure what you mean by “making Hau myself”? That was never my intention, and I’m confused why you think so. What about this made you feel Hau was my self-insert?
[This is nothing more than a lonely person acting out a fantasy, and expecting people to bow down and praise it.]
That’s a lot of very bizarre assumptions. Can you elaborate?
If this is about revenge (but of course it’s not, because of course you would never stoop to doing exactly what you accuse me of doing and then act like I should care about your opinion, I mean, that would just be crazy), I’d like to point out that other people are perfectly capable of speaking for themselves and it’s not your place to speak over them. Murloc Rampage and I have already had an extensive conversation where we reached an amenable compromise. Maybe if you had actually asked your friend what he wanted, you would already know this.
57m agoWhat’s the fucking point? No matter what I say you’ll have some bullshit come back. The truth is dude, that this story sucks balls. I couldn’t even finish, it was just so boring. That’s my honest opinion.
Revenge? No. If it was revenge, then I’d be WAY worse, no I just saw what you said about Murloc’s GOOD work and wanted to see the crap you produced, so I could see just why it is you would denounce him and his work in such a way. I was hoping to find something that would be both interesting and engaging, and would perhaps broaden by own writing skills, since you’re such a grammar nazi with Murloc’s work.
But I was extremely disappointed, this is pure crap and not even worth finishing.
(Shrugs his shoulders) Think what you like. Care about what you like. And if you wanna talk crazy, then I’m the guy for it.
And I’d like to point out that I am well within my rights on this sight to provide criticism and dislike what you have written, as well as express my opinions on both your actions against a fellow writer.
Heh, speak for him? If that’s what I was trying to do, I’d have sent a PM straight out calling you out on your offensive comments. I have explained my actions and reasons for doing so, not my fault if you don’t like it.
You talked to him? I should care because? He’s not a personal friend, just someone whose work I enjoy on this site, we talk from time to time, but that’s about it. And why should I care about what you’ve talked about? It’s none of my business.
I have stated my reasons for coming to your “story” and left my opinion on it. Do with it what you like.
41m ago[And I’d like to point out that I am well within my rights on this sight to provide criticism and dislike what you have written]
You’re not big on self-awareness, are you?
Since you can’t point out a single specific flaw even when pressed, I’m just going to assume the story is so perfect you can’t find flaw in it even when you hate it with every fiber of your being. Thanks!
19m agoWhat part of it was so boring I couldn’t even finish it, was not clear?
And me spelling was off, I mean “site” not “sight”
OK, you want specifics? Fine. Here’s a list.
– [When he was 10 the kids at school]
I don’t have time to go through from start to beginning, so I’ve just reached in and grabbed something. Didn’t you yourself say that numbers beneath say thirteen were to be written out as letters? Then why use this lazy method yourself?
– The use of…
Surely you would know that this, the name of which escapes me currently, is used when a character doesn’t want to carry on speaking, when questioned. It’s used with short, simple answers, not at the end of lengthy sentences or when a character is still speaking.
– Everything is focused on the one character, literally everything, there’s barely any mention of other characters.
A key sign to a self indulgent piece of crap. When a writer makes their work focused on the one character, with which they imagine themselves to be instead.
– Putting A/N in the middle of the chapter.
Amateurish. Plain and simple.
– Not starting sentences with a capital letter.
Need I say more?
– Referring to someone without using a capital letter for their name, or nickname.
Again, need I say more?
– Overuse of names.
When there is only one character of either gender in the same act, or scene, whatever you want to call it, there is no need to CONSTANTLY use their names. Try using other, more engaging, terms to reference them.
– No character growth.
None of the characters grow or change, they stay what they are at the very beginning. No one remains the way they were as children, the experiences and challenges they face in life mould and influence them into the people they become.
Hau staying a breeder, despite his so called “conflict”, is unrealistic and boring to read.
Happy now? I have reached into the cesspit you wrote on here, and found several things which illustrate my points.
Now, if you can go without responding again, I have work on my own stories to do.
secs agoAh, finally! See, was that so hard? Unfortunately, I do not in fact know what you’re referencing in most of these, because you didn’t quote the specific sections you were referring to! Really, that’s Reviewing 101, you want to make it easy for authors to understand and communicate with you!
[The use of…]
This, for instance. You mean ellipses? I need to know where exactly I used them wrong. If it’s an endemic problem, you can just show me a single example.
[Everything is focused on the one character, literally everything, there’s barely any mention of other characters.]
Yes. It’s called a character study. It’s a genre. Probably worth a google!
[None of the characters grow or change, they stay what they are at the very beginning. No one remains the way they were as children, the experiences and challenges they face in life mould and influence them into the people they become.]
Hau does grow and change. He starts as a doormat who can’t speak up for himself because he doesn’t know what he wants or what he’s doing. By the end, he finds a purpose and the sense of self necessary to stand up to the adults in his life and reject the role they placed on him.
[Hau staying a breeder, despite his so called “conflict”, is unrealistic and boring to read.]
??? What do you mean by “staying” a breeder? He starts as a trainer and becomes a breeder. I don’t see how it’s terribly unrealistic though, you’ll have to elaborate.
You’ve got me on the number thing, though! Good job! I just looked it up, and it seems that there is some disagreement over the exact cutoff. I thought it was 13, but most style guides are now saying 10! I actually do think two-digit numbers look okay in numeral form, so I will adjust the notice to reflect that in my future reviews! Thanks for pointing it out!
Turns out I actually already fixed that error, so he’s either working off an old version somehow or screwing with me.
11m ago(Yawn) As I said, a pointless answer for everything.
I have no interest in helping you, only in pointing out that your story is boring to read and flawed, and suggesting that you should fix crap like this, before ragging on GOOD writers.
I’ve written more reviews than you’ve gotten, I know how to write them. Doesn’t mean I’ll give shit the same level of decency.
Ellipses! That’s the word. Thanks for reminding me.
Nope. You get nothing more from me, I suggest you look up the work of a good writer, such as “silentplayermc03” and learn how to write something worth reading.
secs agoSo you’re just trying to destroy me — the exact thing you accuse me of doing — yet you somehow think you’re the good guy here?
You know, I would have been sympathetic to you if you actually were acting on Murloc’s behalf. I can sympathize with the belief that someone is hurt and that revenge will help them. But you’re just a fanboy? You seriously told someone to kill themselves just because they criticized something you like?
You said that you have a right to criticize my story, and that is true. (You do not have a right to send me death threats, however.) But that protection also extends to me. You do not get to say that you’re the only one who gets to use the site.
You pathetic, absolute child. Grow up.
NGL I was super tempted to say “I have forgotten more reviews than you will ever write.”
14m agoDestroy you? Hehehehehe, oh no no no, if I was trying to destroy you I wouldn’t do something as juvenile as go after your fic, I’d go for your IRL life. But I have never once mentioned that.
Do i think I’m the good guy? Absolutely not. I know I’m not a good guy, no one is a “good guy”, there’re no good and bad guys. Just people doing what they choose to, from their own perspectives, they could be doing what they believe to be right or wrong… Or in this case, I simply chose to look up what you had written, which gave you the right to try and tear down someone else’s work so fiercely, for no reason. Is it the right thing to do? Probably not, but I don’t care.
Sympathy is for the weak and attention seekers. I do not want or need you to be sympathetic in anyway, the idea honestly makes me feel sick.
Fanboy? Hmm… Never thought about it before, but I guess I fit into that category. Since I am a fan of Murloc’s work and it has been a great inspiration to me over the years. Is it wrong to point out flaws and give criticism where it is deserved? No. And you too have that right.
But so do I.
Told you to kill yourself? I never did that. I never do shit like that, it’s wrong on so many levels. In the review I left, I meant you should follow Guest’s advice and stop posting spam crap. I guess I should have been clearer on that matter, you have my apologies for the confusion on that matter.
I did not send you death threats. I do not do such things. Except to my friends when we’re screwing around, but that’s our thing and is done in good fun by us all.
When did I say I’m the only one who can use this site?
Child? Well that’s one that I get regularly when someone doesn’t like me. Hehehehe, but I can assure you I’m no child, well not physically. When I write I can put some immature comments in and make such puns and jokes, but such is my sense of humour. To each their own as they say.
I await your response, this is proving to be a pretty fun way to wait out the writer’s block.
…The guest review they were referencing was nothing but telling me to kill myself. It’s almost like this has nothing to do with morality and everything to do with pettiness.
I think I’m going to leave it at this, it really speaks for itself.