“Literally, ever since I started writing in this way, I’ve had no complaints of people disliking.”
reply to the chapter review thingyyy
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/11725238/
Hi, sorry for the late reply! I just wanted to thank you for giving me so many helpful pointers! It means alot to me! I’ll keep all this in mind while I’m revising chapter 2 haha.
I only have one thing to counter, and it’s about the scene you mentioned and how it seemed unrealistic. While this story is based off of the pokemon game universe, that doesn’t necessarily mean all attacks and means of battling are as “mechanical” as they would be in an actual game. I hope I made it obvious that the protagonists of the story so far are very young/inexperienced in fighting and using their moves, which is why Gastly had virtually no chance of leaving a scratch on the haunters when they chased him. I guess the move Lick would kind of feel like a taser? That’s kind of an extreme comparison, in my opinion. To give it a bit more realism, pokemon can control how hard they hit, if that makes any sense? Just like if you were to punch someone lightly in a playful manner, versus flat out decking someone in the face at a fight. It’s also part of Gastly’s character to use an excessive force of brawn. Also, being a baby ghost pokemon, he doesn’t really know HOW to scare, he probably just went for his first instinct!
I’ll revise this chapter later on, probably when I have more of the story out, so I’ll keep all of this in mind, thank you! I hope despite all of the mistakes you’ve enjoyed the story so far. I know for a fact that I’m relearning alot at once, so the overall quality should get better as time goes on.
Jan 17Kestre Wynde
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/11732147/
To be honest, I’d thought of the carrying issue when I was writing it, but couldn’t really come up with anything I was happy with. It’s set in a period with few humans around, so bags and such would be out (and they couldn’t have made something like that with paws anyway), and I’d considered that perhaps she could’ve hooked them into her tail curls or something, but I wasn’t sure if that’d be feasible and I couldn’t find a way to write it in that didn’t feel ridiculous to me. So I figured since it’s a fairytale, I could just gloss over it a bit, but if you’ve got any ideas, I’ll see if I can edit it in somewhere.
Thanks for the compliments on the rhythm! When I was proof-reading, I read it aloud to myself to check that it flowed well in an oral telling as well, so I’m glad that came through.
re: Your review to Pathfinder: The Story of Pokemon X and Y
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/11731849/
Ah, Flamer–err…Farla, we meet again. I’m going to cut you off right here, I am already aware of Pathfinder’s flaws. I think my problem with this story from the beginning was deciding to write a story with a character personality I’m not as familiar with. I’m much more accustomed to the Ash/Red personality. Much of the paradoxes in personality stems from this fact. I’m also not as accustomed to fictional writing as I am accustomed to non-fiction writing–newspaper columns are more my forte, presenting issues in a brief summary in a methodical, calculated manner doesn’t necessarily transition to fiction. My fictional writing has been a work in progress and still is a work in progress, I won’t deny that. That being said, Pokemon names ARE supposed to be capitalized. Last time I checked in an encyclopedia, species names are capitalized. You wouldn’t write Baltimore Oriole in lowercase letters. Labrador Retriever is capitalized. Lastly, I do read in between the lines. Pokemon is somewhat of a children’s game, or at least is perceived as a child’s game. They never called Lysandre’s plot genocide by name for obvious reasons and it was masked by the usual stories that involve the refion’s legendary Pokemon.
In the words of the great Blue Oak, smell ya later!
Your Review to Cloud Bros
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/11734558/
It was just suppose to be a parody of stereotypical bros, the fraternity bros. Also something else on Tumblr.
The way that the story is the way I write. Literally, ever since I started writing in this way, I’ve had no complaints of people disliking. Seriously, you’re the first person. It would have been nice if you had put something positive in the review, like ‘good job’ for example. I’ve seen how other users put reviews on your stories because they’re angry at you. Maybe you could try this to stop all the negative reviews?
Subject: re: Your review to Guilt and Forgiveness
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/11734779/
Thanks for your input. I had been re-reading after I had published, but progress has been
slow because I have been writing this all from my phone and uploading straight from that.
And since I have only had a semi-competentent word editor and sparse amounts of time to
proofread, I finally fixed all of the smaller mistakes I didn’t see the first time
Next you time you review, tell me something positive that you enjoyed about the story
instead of just outright pointing out all of its mistakes and leaving it at that. I can
accept people critiquing my work, but I also want to hear about how I to improve my
writing and what you enjoyed about my story. Is that a bit too much to ask for?
I figured someone who enjoys critiquing fanfiction as much as appear to do on your
profile would be willing to do that.
“But why don’t you just lie?” has been a recurring issue this time around.
re: Your review to Twelve Wishes
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/11734215/
Thanks for the review. Would you be able to beta read by any chance?
re: Your review to Sinnoh League Victors
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/11734742/
re: Your review to My Partner, My Friend
Jan 18Master Sauce
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/11735339/
Before I continue with my response, I’d like to apologize if I sound or appear rude when writing. It’s 2:24 in the morning and I kinda freak out whenever I do something wrong.
With the first paragraph, I’m going to assume that your only talking about thoughts, being that with spoken dialogue I either ended it with an exclamation point/question mark, a combination of the two, or put the intro thing before the quotation marks (He said, “You look like you could use some protein bruh, so here, have this corn thing.”) At least, as far as I’m aware of. Yeah, I plan on editing this later (or now, for that matter). I wasn’t aware of the quotation rule (never learned that in school) for thoughts, and I appreciate you bringing that up to me now. When it comes to ending it, I always hate trying to write thoughts because I can’t think of any words for “thought.”
Well, there’s “wondered,” “pondered…” that’s it. I remember talking to my own freaking grammar teacher once, and all she said was, “Well… there’s [two mentioned previously] and… ooh, that’s a tough question. Uh… dreampt?” So, yeah, and was no help, either, giving me more nouns than verbs.
When it comes to capitalization of Pokemon names, I’m pretty sure it’s capitalized no matter what. I know that in English, being that something like Pikachu wouldn’t be capitalized being that it’s a species name (so it would be pikachu), but in the Pokemon franchise, it’s capitalized all the time.
I did some Google searching and found this as well. Apparently, if I were German (which I’m not), it wouldn’t even matter. And apparently Pokemon is its own language. And apparently this has been an ongoing debate about Pokemon names?
Either way, I’d like to apologize once more for freaking out. I grew up in a household where I wasn’t allowed to be wrong, so… yeah, still kind of rubs off on me. Any further feedback on this subject would be greatly appreciated!
re: Your review to Pokemon: Willow’s Dark Plan
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/11731486/
thank you for the review.
some things slipped, like Ash calling his pokemon “property”
obviously he treats his pokemon with utmost respect
ill get to fixing grammar and spelling mistakes in a second but yeah i agree with you
but i have one question
how exactly do you want me to organize my paragraphs? i just wanted it to flow decently. like in the first section when Ash and Willow are arguing, do you want me to make that just one big paragraph?
most of the paragraphs transition to a new subject im pretty sure, but ill look over it to see. sorry you have to dumb down things that should come easily to most people.
again, thanks for reviewing
re: Your review to Where You Least Expect It
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/11735366/
I appreciate the time you’ve taken to write this and help me further understand how to use dialogue more effectively and correctly. As far as the latter portion of your review, I write what I like to write, regardless of what you or any typical individual might think is a “waste of time.” I frankly couldn’t care less if someone thought this was a pointless read, I don’t this professionally and I write this as a story to kill time and start something I feel like starting. I felt like ending it there because I want to, and this is http://www.fanfiction.net not some novel that I’ve written so I have the ability to do that without really caring. Please refrain from commenting on my story again, thank you.
Actually, I changed my mind about pretty much anything I just said. Like I said, I don’t like to take this too seriously but I was wrong about a lot of that. I was upset over the criticism and responded hastily and would like to apologize for that. I reread pretty much everything I’ve written and it does lack original content. I will do my best to include more of my own work. I like to stay true to the character’s personalities and I fear of getting too far off track where they aren’t themselves anymore. Thank you for the review, and again, I’m sorry for my previous message.
re: Your review to The reunion
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/11735688/
Thank you for the criticism regarding my fanfic. I appreciate your review, because this really helps me improve my grammar. But, I like the plot of my fanfic, I wouldn’t publish it if I hated it. So, thanks for the criticism regarding the plot, but I am not changing it. Overall, thank you very much, I will fix most of the mistakes.
re: Your review to An innocent prank
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/11735738/
I’ll try and edit it. I’m not great at grammar, so thank you for your help and for reading.
re: Your review to Pokymon
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/11734479/
I guess I’ll try writing some other stories to start off with then, this isn’t going anywhere great.
Thank you for the speech marks advice, I never understood them.
re: Your review to Shining Stars
Jan 18Fille de Fantome
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/11735257/
Thanks! I’ll make sure to edit it, then! Thanks for explaining these rules in English, it really helps! Not many people are willing to help a foreigner out, so I owe you lots of gratitude!
re: Your review to Baton
Jan 18Imaginative Clockwork
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/11734796/
Thank you! I wanted to explore Team Rocket, but I didn’t know which part of Team Rocket, so I tried to squeeze in a bunch of things. And I was really happy with that part, since Team Aqua intense commitment to a terrible idea was always my favorite part, and I wanted to give it a shout out.
Regarding the punishment, I wanted to show with Leonard’s lines about being Giovanni’s right-hand man that he was also looking for a way to get ahead, just in a different way than Ben. He’s willing to slavishly follow his boss’s order for sure, but in a way that positions him as second in command, not a grunt. Seeing this, Giovanni wants to crush the ambition before it gets out of hand. I guess that wasn’t clear enough, though. Sorry!
I wanted to show that Giovanni is definitely not perfect, and I’m glad it came across! Thank you for the review!
re: Your review to old friends new lives
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/11733936/
hey! thank you for your review, which, if sharp, was helpful. To the capitalization of Pokémon, etc., i’ve found it’s common to capitalize them and it’s more of a choice than a grammatical thing. In the games, the Pokémon are capitalized, which is how i’ve chosen to do it here.
to the title thing – that’s a stylistic choice. i personally enjoy the aesthetic of lowercase letters best (the band twenty one pilots also does this – to capitalize their name is incorrect). i’m sorry that a writer on a fanfiction site doesn’t conform perfectly to the laws of capitalization.
i see your point with the laughing thing, but it was sort of like she said it with a laughing effect, if that make sense? i could change it to ‘said with a laugh’ but i think i used that more than once in the story.
and to the tired plot – yes, my dear, this element of the plot is tired, but I’d like to try and add a twist to it. That’s why it’s there at all. It wouldn’t be interesting if they just got along, would it? this is only chapter one.
by the ‘heart broken’ line and the mentions of Looker’s previous troubles with women, i thought it was sort of implied that the relationship would fall apart, not never happen. I didn’t realize it was so unclear, apologies!
chapter two is just about to be out! thank you for your review.
This one ended up going weird when I said no, I mean I find the thing where all women hate each other misogynistic and so won’t read, and they argued that but no there were so many justifications for why these women hate each other you shouldn’t reject it over that and also they are a hardcore feminist, and finally I looked through the rest of their work and it’s Women Are Terrible At Each Other with a side of Lesbians Are Most Terriblest. Holy internalized everything.
re: Your review to Inner Storms
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/11736896/Dear Farla,
I deeply apologize for my grammatical imperfections. Although I’ve spoken English my entire life, writing is still difficult. The details you have pointed out will be fixed in the future, and I wish to thank you for pointing out my flaws. I do have one qualm, however. The fact that you said, and I quote, “The world didn’t yet another kid in the moving van opening. It’s been done,” and kept reading. If you don’t like the things I write about I advise you not to read them. I will not change the way I wanted to introduce a character because of one person. If you have noticed by now the world doesn’t work like that. Regarding your comment about Camila’s ability to do great things, she’s leaving for a pokemon journey at the age of sixteen, not ten. I believe that parents are being irresponsible for letting their children go on a journey, with an unfamiliar pokemon, so young. Camila’s parents show the same reserve that I do in latter chapter, most of which have been written or thoroughly planned, and did not in the fist chapter because I could not provide the conversation without it seeming choppy, and poorly written. Once again I would like to thank you for your advice.
King of the Fae
This was for a story where I didn’t comment on anything but the opening because I indeed did not see any point in continuing to read it. They’ve also gotten nothing but my review – not even the favorites and follows people will give to anything. But no one else said the opening was bad, so it must be fine!