Pokereplies Part 10

“Also it IS perfectly acceptable to create a line of dialogue in the way as I have in here. It’s something I’m exceptionally picky about. I would know since I’ve honestly attained a bachelor’s degree in the English writing field and have never had these taken off or commented on before.” 

I was going to ask if you guys thought any other field had so many degree-holders hellbent on proving their degree means nothing, but then I remembered that animal sciences person arguing that all female animals come standard with boobs, and there’s those architects making accidental death beams, so yeah, presumably this is just one of those eternal constants.

Thank you
Jan 30SilverFox-GoldWolf

Thanks for your criticism. Using it, I’ll be sure to fix my story to be better suited. And don’t worry about lucario. He has no major point in this story. It’s mainly about Buizel. Either way, thank you again for taking your time to write this review. I hope you have a nice day/night.
re: Your review to How to train your grunt

Jan 30ShinyScale

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12341066/

Excluding the capitalization—in Italy you normally capitalize only the first word in the title, and I live there so I often do that out of habit—I don’t understand your long rant.

Apart from what might have been an occasional typo, I did write the dialogues correctly. I didn’t even use “smirk”, and I definitely not needed the whole explanation.

Shaymin19
https://www.fanfiction.net/u/8376399/

Reply link: https://www.fanfiction.net/pm2/post.php?rid=204834780#new
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Subject: re: Your review to Pokémon Mystery Dungeon- The Three Elements

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12340972/

Thank you for telling me this. If I can find a way to edit my part (idk how) I will fix it.

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The weirdest pattern of which people block me this year.

re: Your review to Origins

Jan 30HeroOfMan

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12341062/

Some of these are theories, such as the Necrozma one, and explanations that aren’t canon.

re: Your review to Boundless Journey

Jan 31zeetan

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12338384/

Rude much?

re: Your review to Cursed: An Anthology

Jan 31Limitless Musings

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12342645/

I’ve read your review a few times over. Honestly I do my absolute best to take whatever criticism someone throws my way and incorporate that into fresh material. However this seems beyond typical criticism. Allow me to clarify one simple thing. A battle would be impossible within the home without the house catching on fire. The scene in which Arcanine did perform such a move, walls did catch on fire but did not spread due to the mere fact that it was still a dream–not reality.

You wouldn’t douse your home in gasoline and then light it on fire to deal with a pest. You seek other options.

Also it IS perfectly acceptable to create a line of dialogue in the way as I have in here. It’s something I’m exceptionally picky about. I would know since I’ve honestly attained a bachelor’s degree in the English writing field and have never had these taken off or commented on before. It’s not common to leave a stand alone line of commentary. However when it’s there the main point is to emphasize.

As for the pokemon and animals aspect, in their world Pokemon literally ARE their animals. That’s why I’ve portrayed them as such.

I can completely understand the capitalization as that’s a fair argument. So from here I’ll accept that as fair criticism.

However nearly all inspiration for this story draws from direct pokedex entries. Every power and ability I’ve given them have been either directly stated in those entries or subtly hinted at. I didn’t want to go too far in what they could do. These are my interpretations of their powers given the information we were able to obtain from the recent Sun and Moon entries.

As for the typing match up, this takes place early on. Shortly after Red descended from Mount Silver having been beaten by Gold. The way these people in Kanto view move sets and their effectiveness is being determined by the generation that they were set. This was how the games progressed and it’s how, to be realistic to the series at the time this story takes place, I’ve chosen to portray them.

Are there issues in the plot? Of course. There will never be such a thing as a perfect plot.

But as someone experienced in writing both creative fiction, essays and even editing of both, this review does seem unnecessarily picky towards your own preferences in a specific universe.

You don’t have to agree with me. You don’t have to like what I’ve said or even my defenses. However you can’t exactly claim that what you’ve written was constructive criticism either. It was simply negative criticism. Yes, there is a difference.

I’m not exactly sure what you were hoping to do. If you had wanted me to change something about my writing style than you’ve failed at that. If it was a criticism about the plot then I’m sorry, but at this point I see no reason to change it.

I guess I simply just can’t really understand what the real point of your review was. I accept Constructive Criticism with open arms, however I don’t tolerate any sort of needlessly negative comments. This wasn’t a feedback. It wasn’t a flame either. It just seems to me as if you’re so set on your own ways that you’re incapable of accepting other styles of writing.

I’m sorry that you didn’t particularly care for this story. It’s okay that you didn’t. My brand of writing isn’t necessarily for everyone. However you don’t really need to nitpick everything so as to correct it to your liking. That’s simply being a bit overbearing on your part.

I’m open to discussion if you’d prefer to PM me after this. I’m more than willing to have a talk rather than shut this line of communication down. More than anything, I’m just confused as to what your motives were.

I wish you the best.

Sincerely,

Limitless Musings

re: Your review to Solar and Lunar Induction

Jan 31dsfsdfsdfkk

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12339163/

Ash calls his pokemon by their species names. Whenever he talks to his pokemon, he uses their species name as their proper name. In the games, unless a Pokemon is given a nickname, it’s default name is always it’s species name, but capitalized. The word pokemon is quite ambiguous anyway, since it is used to reference both a single creature or multiple ones. Most trainers in the anime do not nickname their pokemon, so I am just following the trend.

Thank you for your review.

Feb 1SaulJoker

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12343736/

First of all I appreciate your feedback. This is my first written work in this site (and my first fanfic too).

Let’s begin with the opening sentence. While I agree suspires is likely an overexaggeration and may seem like me trying to sound clever, I felt like it fitted the description nicely. I took it from the Spanish verb “suspirar”, which means “to sigh” (in this context). Since I am bilingual, I thought it would fit nicely, but I can see why it doesn’t really work over “say” or “sigh”. However I thought “say” was too vague and dull and “sigh” did not sound nice at the time of writing it. I’d love to know what word you would have used though.

I know what conscience means – that’s why I used it. He drilled it into his conscience because if he messed up he knew he’d be putting lives at risk and possibly disrupt the calm of the night, as well as ‘getting caught in the act’ (I’d rather not spoil what’s coming next). If I said mind that would have been a cliché, and the verb drill fits nicely with the setting in the mine. Personally, I thought that was a great metaphor, but again, I understand the confusion there.

And as far as I know “Pokémon”, “Pikachu” and “Charizard” are capitalized because every single game, description, manga, and anything you can imagine does so. Both for the specific individual and the species as a whole. I see why you think that they shouldn’t be but I think that’s just circumcising the mosquito (nitpicking).

I appreciate your feedback, and hope you continue to read on. Chapter 1 should be out before the end of the week.

re: Your review to Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Rescuing Reality

Feb 1FantasyCrest

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12343141/

Thank you for the very constructive review! It means a lot to me. :)

re: Your review to Punishments: Spirit Children

Feb 1Route One

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12344844/

Hello,

Thank you for the review! It’s rare for me to receive them, nonetheless one with so much effort put in (it must have been hell copying over all that text). And more important than effort, a lot of value. Since your criticism came in the form of questions, I’d like to take a chance and answer. Honestly for my edification, and to see if I can steal a bit more help on top of the tremendous amount you’ve given me.

“Why ‘pageant?'”

Mentioned later on by one of the orphans, their denmother (caretaker) has them stand in a row because it improves their haul. So it’s a sort of “pageant” of wily, orphaned children.

“So they’re wagging their tails…”

This was supposed to show, while the children are hungry, they are also happy to be there. They aren’t suffering too terribly, but begging is a necessary part of their lives.

“Just the red meat they’re going without… why is your opening paragraph so inchorent?”

The issue here is how I ordered it. It should read, in paraphrasing, “all of them are hungry but the carnivores have it worst, because their mom buys shampoo instead of red meat.”

“A knife wouldn’t be a meaningful weapon…”

I’d like to believe that its nature is given straightaway (by Aiyee) as a “hobby knife,” not as a killing instrument. But I can see how Bleak’s eagerness to conceal it is confusing. The apparent harmlessness of the knife, contrasted to how Bleak covets it, is supposed to raise questions. if it’s not dangerous, why is he so protective of it? Can it do more than carve? This contrast is shown in the description of the knife and Aiyee’s bored response, then compounded by Denmother later on (“Bleak carves figurines all day, with a knife he loves to hide…”)

No defense for the colons. I just like them, so I lean on them too often.

“Why don’t they use the orphan kids?”

It’s alluded to by Lumen at the inn: orphans are recruited and made into Punishers. And while the kids know how to beg, it’s implied that they only do so when Denmother takes them from their home on the outskirts. On days where they don’t head in, they are guided on how to contribute. It just isn’t apparent at the moment, so I understand the question.

“Why not just start off [sacrificing children]”

Publishers run a decent system, or try to: they hold public forums, (are supposed to) be transparent, and seem to mix in with the villagers despite their profession. The notion of not allowing kids to be sacrificed as doing so would deny them a chance at life is, in some form, an example of their ultimate desire to be fair. And for the most part Punishers undertake their duty successfully–until someone like Nasfereet rocks the boat, in their attempts to find an alternative to what is obviously a horrible task. “In a world of heroes and villains, how does it survive evil born from necessity,” yadda yadda yadda.

Thank you once again for the review,

Route One

re: Your review to The Wolf

Feb 1WolfVsWolf

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12345450/

1. are you a English teacher or something because I barely understood any of that and 2. This is my story not yours so screw off and let me write it how I want to

Reviewing the Review

Feb 1Bardothren

Hello Farla, thanks for reviewing the chapter I wrote, and I have to say, I’m very impressed with how thorough a job you’ve done critiquing it. Some of the points you’ve made I’ve already mulled over and have decided to explain at a later point, but I should try to imply those explanations earlier. Other ones are gaps in the logic, such as that invisibility or super strength, that I should rectify before going any further.

The biggest flaw by far in any escape plan I could contrive is all the safeguards I imagined there being in place – cameras watching her every move, a sensor to alert the guards to extreme uses of her ability, and zero places to hide in the cell thanks to that invisible fourth wall. Short of having someone outside make it opaque, there isn’t much of anything that could be done about it. I’ll try to think of some other way to make it happen, but for now, that was the best I could come up with.

So again, thanks for the review. I posted that knowing it wouldn’t be perfect, and I appreciate the help in working out the kinks that inevitably come from a first draft.

And rest assured, I will have my revenge. :D

re: Your review to Bring Me To Life (A Pokémon Fan-fiction)

Feb 1Mizuki-Dono

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12346516/

Hi! I guess I should start off by saying, thanks for the review. Honestly, this story isn’t exactly the most well thought out story, it’s just something I felt like writing out of the blue. I meant to leave an author’s note at the beginning of the chapter about this, but if I’m being completely honest, I didn’t expect anyone to read my story so quickly. I can’t really say this story will turn out to be good or even completed, because like I said, this isn’t really thought out (it’s really just kind of a free write). I’m really writing this because of my own enjoyment. If someone happens to like my story, then that’s just a bonus. Anyways, nonetheless, thank you for the helpful review.

re: Your review to A new Legend: Part 1: Leafgreen

Feb 1Spiders922

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12344875/

I’ve taken the steps in the later chapters with the paragraphs and dialogue. Things do have a twist inside. I figured the first chapter would bring nostalgia, I was wrong and for that I am sorry. Friends do come into play into chapter 4-9. I encounter them on occasion, but it’s mainly a solo journey. I also added other things, such as “What were most players thinking here? Or at the very least, what was I thinking here?” and made that dialogue.

The new legend bit in the title is meant because I don’t intend to end it at Leafgreen. I intend to go all the way through the games I’ve played as he grows up and gets older, eventually having him settle down with someone and live out his “Happily ever after”, but first I’m going to put him through the wringer.

This first part is a stepping stone. I want people to like this character so that when something bad happens, and it WILL happen, people understand why he acts the way he does later down the road.

Thank you for the review, it does mean something when someone gives a tip.

re: Your review to Alex’s transformation

Feb 1Digglet

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12346137/

It’s my first story and I will try harder thanks for the review

When you write in bed
https://www.fanfiction.net/u/6378442/

Reply link: https://www.fanfiction.net/pm2/post.php?rid=204985102#new
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Subject: re: Your review to Teaser Pokemon Sun and Moon: Sailing Sunrise

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12343483/

While I understand that you may not approve of how I write my works, I don’t understand why you think it’s necessary to write a review of this length to be critical of something that you are not likely to read later on and enjoy. I appreciate you taking time to say how to improve my grammar and writing,  but if you can’t take a gentler approach, most people are going to be more defensive on something that they aren’t taking as seriously as you are. Heck, this may come off as passive aggressive, but take the time to consider how most people think of someone who they think cares more about how well written something is rather than the passion they put into it. Thank you for reviewing, and good day.

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re: Your review to Fighter

Feb 1Shadow Bardock and Gengar

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12345910/

How should I fix it then

re: Your review to Mother Of DOGARS!

Feb 1Umbramatic

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12345963/

Hi! My friend antialiasis told me about you (apparently you two know each other?) and I read up a bit on you from there. I’m gonna try and address your points best I can.

I consider capitalization of the pokemon names a personal taste thing but can understand why you feel the way you do about it, your argument certainly makes sense.

I kinda use semcolons instinctively to the point I don’t even realize I’m using them, so yeah, thanks, I’ll start watching myself there.

I was kinda figuring Roxie was being a typical teenager there and throwing any arguments she could to diss her mother. That being said, I like your suggestion on the actual difference between their teams; if I ever revise this story I’ll use that instead.

I know this isn’t your style, but is there anything you liked about this fic? I’d obviously appreciate it if you said what, but I know you don’t think the strong points are much work proving out vs. areas of improvement, so if you still don’t want to I can deal.

People have got to learn to stop asking this. The odds just forgot to mention something I loved about it are really, really low.

re: Your review to Eli Singleton & the Sons of Injustice

Feb 1Kenrovan

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12344605/

Fair points. I’ll try to keep those in mind. I was wondering how to go about the dialogue, so that’s helpful. I’m about three thousand words into my next chapter. It’ll still have the same mistakes as the first chapter, but I’ll try to mitigate the mistakes in the third. I’m lazy that way. Thank you, come again.

re: Your review to The Legend Of The Myth

Feb 1Hunter Redflame

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12345114/

Funny you should say that… Hi. I’m the person she asked to become her editor for the fic. Of course, I just now got the next chapter for editing, so… Yeah. In any case, I happen to know the author IRL and she happens to have dyslexia, so please ease up on the inner Grammar Nazi. Also, she’s doing this via a phone. Meaning the monstrosity of autocorrect is a thing. And as for the caps thing? She does agree with you, but until the main characters know their names they’ll remain capped. Hope that clears a few things up.

The story has, of course, updated several times with exactly the level of quality editing you’d expect from someone using the “but NAMES” argument in a fic that was of course not using them as names.

re: Your review to Hidden Power

Feb 2Wonkaverse

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12343948/

Thank you for your response. We always appreciate when readers take the time to critique or comment on our work. Your review and comments have been forwarded to the responsible writer. His software has been updated and will reflect your suggestions in his future fanfiction work.

WV1

re: Your review to Pokemon-Mystery-Dungeon-Rise-To-The-Top

Feb 2Harrisonhearts

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12338083/

Huh?

re: Your review to Pokemon-Mystery-Dungeon-Rise-To-The-Top

Feb 2Harrisonhearts

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12338083/

I’m keeping Pokemon names capitalized. They’re different from animals.

re: Your review to Pokemon-Mystery-Dungeon-Rise-To-The-Top

Feb 2Harrisonhearts

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12338083/

Every other source capitalizes their names.

re: Your review to Legends and Truth or Dare

Feb 3Yuka Ayna The Being of Balance

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12345485/

{[The Ayna clan was a clan well known for their unlimited power and abilities that they posses. And also for their harsh, to put it lightly, training regime. Those who have experienced it either survived and became one of the most powerful beings ever, excluding them, or just faced unbearable torture that made them wish they were suffering instead. But that is only if they are able to get inside the mansion, or have contact with one of them which is near impossible to just happen all of the sudden.]

So in short, a pile of overpowered ridiculousness.}

Oh don’t worry about that, I have some very “special” plans for them in mind.

{Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.}

Alright then, I will do just that.

re: Your review to Tale of HER

Feb 4Ydream08

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12338444/

Hello,
First of all thank you for taking the time to review!
For the first part about lungs, actually the reason for the pain is that her ribs are broken. That’s why even though anatomically lungs and ribs move spontaneously, she feels the ribs “sinking” into her lungs and there is a prominent pain in her chest. My writing being purple is actually something I’m aiming for, but not to the point of it being ridiculous, so thank you for point the lungs part out. However being honest, unless the broken rib idea isn’t coming across, I don’t intend to change it.
I’ll be sure to go through to change ok to okay.
I equate Arceus to God. But before I explain my reasoning I’d like to point out that if you take “canon” as the anime, I’m not abiding to it. Also in the pokedex entries Arceus is said to have shaped the universe out of nothing, which if we establish God as the creator, fits into the definition. That being said, the rest of the legendaries could also be categorized as Gods, however you must be aware that while saying this, I base the belief system in pokemon world to that of Greek Mythology, rather than Christianity, Islam or Judaism. So Kyogre, Groudon, Mew, lake trio etc are all minor Gods compared to Arceus, having hierarchy wishing themselves also. Anyway, so when someone swears, the first God to come in mind is the main and most ancient God Arceus. This could change according to location, however it wouldn’t be a stretch to assume Sinnoh people spread the belief and convinced people that the local Gods abided by Arceus and helped it shape the world.
These could be explained throughout the story much better and thoroughly as I’m still at the process of creating the AU world.
For the length of the first chapter, that is something I agreed on with my beta. We decided it would be a nice teaser to make people aware that I’m trying to be creative with the game’s plot, giving the truck scene as an example by revealing its connection to a kidnapping. If that wasn’t enough to establish the darker world I’m aiming to create, I don’t know what would. Because as you must know, R/S/E beginning isn’t the most convenient to throw the nuzlocke brutality from the very first chapters- my idea set aside.
Anyway.
I hope you will check the story’s progress now and then -seeing that you haven’t followed- to see that the somewhat slow establishment of the world will fit to the plot, and adding the new ideas to the mix will make the story stand out. The last part is for readers to decide, so I’m eager to hear from you in the future!

-Ydream08

Feb 4I checked but I never used ok. There are “OK”s but since it is capitalized, there is no grammatical problem. I’ll be cautious to not use “ok” though, thank for reminding!-Ydream08

re: Your review to Pokemon Azul

Feb 5PokeTrainerAzul

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12336640/

Thank you so much, I needed this help, I’ll try my best to fix most of it in a rewrite! Hope ya help me again Farla! ^^

re: Your review to Pokemon Opal

Feb 5MusicMistroA response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12333479/

Thank you for the tip!I’ll try to fix that in the future your criticism is quite welcome I’ll remake this on Wattpad and if that works out well I may work on a better version and post it on this on http://www.fanfiction.net .Then again I may be a few years too young for this topic but still I’ll try to meet a higher quality of stories to better meet the demands of the public and at that your last part you are not wrong like what so ever I got the idea from some guy on the pokemon amino app and the depths of miiverse so I’ll leave this account inactive until I’m in highschool freshman year ank you again I appreciate the feedback I am still not deterred from the subject but I’ll run it by a friend of mine who has much more experience in the topic of writing in general heck this response may be poorly written by many people’s standards anyway I’ll play the games a second time to see if I even got the story right.I wish you luck on any sotries you may write in the future.

re: Your review to Boundless Journey

Feb 7Kisuru-chan

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12338384/

While there are certain aspects regarding capitalization I can agree with in your copy-paste, I find it fascinating you feel the need to mention “mourning pets is a cheap substitute for depth” when nothing of the sort happens in the fic. It leads me to believe you only went cliche hunting in my summary, so the reason you don’t think this story is about Spark leaves me highly confused.

This is honest to god a fic about a sad kitty who turns out to be stealing stuff to decorate the grave of its owner while it cuddles with the headstone, and so it is completely understandable how offended they are I characterized it as involving a mourning pet.

re: Your review to The Crown and the Flame

Feb 9InkPress

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12333059/

Thanks for reviewing.

I’m trying to decide how much time I should spend proofing this as I don’t have a beta. Apparently I should spend a little more.

I, also, don’t know where I’m going with this. I thought the prose was actually pretty workhorse, I’m ecstatic that somebody found it alright.

And on that surprisingly positive note, we are done! Until October or so, anyway.

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