Jan 8LunaAzul788

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12308731/

My apologies. I have already made the necessary revisions. Thank you

Jan 8Koopa Kaper

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12312484/

thanks

Jan 9Drew Blackstone

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12312964/

I’ll make note of that. Thank you!

Jan 9Drew Blackstone

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12313137/

Thanks for the review!

Sorry about the capitalization thing, I was meaning to fix that.

He’s a he, maybe I should’ve made that a bit clearer. Alas, the trials of first person writing. And the absol thing is explained later on (as well as being snark bait at times, since the “nice pokemon– where’d you steal it?” thing comes into play).

And yeah, my boy’s an a–hole. I admit that, but I intend to give him some character development. Being a bastard is kind of an integral aspect of his initial character. Not to mention that he’s only fourteen. I will tone down that moment of jerkishness though, I don’t know what my edgy past self was thinking right there.

Thanks again for the review, I’ll most definitely take your feedback into account in the future.

Jan 9Horizon-Dawn

Thank you for your grammar lesson for my pokemon fic. Up until now I only wrote as I felt could be right, no one told me or corrected that.

19h agoMew Siul

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12312602/

“And “plot fiat says so” is a step up from “fetish says so”. Ugh.”

You seem to have missunderstood me. The whole eating pokemon isn’t a fetish of mine, look just a paragraph below, my self insert is basically completely disgusted by both the sex and the omnivore, almost completely carnivorous diet he’s gonna have to take and the pokemon are extrauniversal alien animals that are meant to be beyond human judgement and code of conduct.

For the record, I actually heavily dislike most meat because I can’t find any flavor in it and really am a very picky eater in real life, so from my perspective I’m sometimes forced to eat a flavorless, bland thing.

This depiction of pokemon society and diet is based not on my fetishes, (not that there would be anything wrong with that if they did) but on real life fauna, european folklore and art and finally another rather popular M-rated fanfic called “Pack Master” you can seach for if you like, though all I took is the pack social structure.

Also, let me ask you an honest question here, What were you expecting to find here?
Give me the outline. Just what did you expect to happen when I specifically added a warning about mature content, sunshines and rainbows?

19h agoPikatwig

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12312619/

The trading thing was only mentioned so that I would get a possibly commonly asked thing out of the way fast.

And your other points… thank you for the constructive critism. That’s… all I got.

19h agoIcyKali

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12314598/

Thank you so much for reviewing!

The idea is that Colress doesn’t know what “trust” and “kindness” actually require. I also believe that Professor Sycamore was wrong–in the games I don’t think Mega Evolution requires high friendship. And Mega Metagross…

“Mega Evolution stimulated its brain. It emerged as a ruthless Pokémon that will clutch at any means of ensuring its victories.”

I feel like this dex description actually describes Colress’s and Ghetsis’s personalities quite well… which is not a good thing.

“Or is the idea he does feel male but thinks it’d be nicer to not have any sense of gender identify?”

This is what I was intending. I also don’t know if Colress would care quite enough to start using “they” pronouns and start identifying as agender. Come to think of it, I’m not sure how non-binary humans in the Pokemon world would identify. I guess they’d use the same terms as in real-life, but I’m not sure.

I had to look up what that was XD There’s no sexual attraction here, even though there is a love born of an intense, mutual hatred and affinity. I’ve been assuming that Ghetsis is a celibate straight man. Would the relationship still count?

17h agogoldensphere

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12314164/

Hello. Just letting you know, you made a few grammar mistakes in your review. First of all, ‘or professor’ is not a sentence. A better way to put it would be:
“Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer or professor.” Or, “-like telephone, trainer, or professor.”
Not “-like telephone or trainer. Or professor.”
Another thing is, when you wrote, “-shouting it’s brand without anyone putting the pieces together having them fool around with it , then it lights on fire?”, there should be a comma between the words ‘together’ and ‘having’. When you are listing different points, you must be careful to add commas.

12h agoSqydd

Okay thanks for reviewing and being honest, the thing is I am testing people with the first chapter to see if they would read it, I can admit my spelling and grammar is bad but it probably is because I haven’t done this in a bit, not long but i tend to lose myou sight of writing properly, I am not good at cowing up with names neither summaries, I make them cluncky, think that I’m telling a lie then compare it to my other titles, sigh, again thanks for your honesty, (Could be the auto correct for error because it’s atrocius

1h agoMoonwolf3000

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12315104/

Hi, Farla, thanks for your constructive criticism :) I’ve been off my writing game a lot lately, to the point where even planning characters is hard, and that’s usually my forte.
I would like to explain my writing to you. You pointed out the capitalization of Pokemon and species names, ie Charizard, Pikachu. I was always taught in school to capitalize a name and as they are species names, I can see your point clearly. I purely do it out of habit now, like that certain word you get wrong all the time – mine is “beginning” to be honest. Also, how I write speech is also how I was taught – I guess we Brits have a different vocabulary and grammar rule-set. I often see in published books things like ‘”random speech,” he laughed’, so I have always taken it as a person saying something while laughing, or in the case of ‘”Hello,” she grinned’, someone grinning while speaking.
If you would do me the pleasure of continuing to read when I have posted the second chapter, the reason for human forms and sexual bonding will be revealed. The world I’m attempting to convey is complex so details are going to be revealed each chapter.
Thank you again for the writing advice and review :)
— Wolfie

18m agoSilver division

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12313214/

I am sick.

11h agoBravsoul

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12315294/

This idea has been in my head for more than a month and I just needed to type it down, so that I can later refurbish it later at a different time. However, I am glad that you gave me this. It’s helping me become a better writer.

10h agoCake09877

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12316248/

I’m sorry if I upset you, but I see absolutely nothing wrong with doing such a thing. Look at other fanfics, especially SYOC’s like my own. Many (that I have seen, at least) contain just submission sheets or even just a longer summary, such as I am doing. I’m not going to start a huge argument, and I’m not going to change it unless I feel like doing so. You may reply to this all you want, but I’m not starting a stupid argument over something that nobody has a problem with. Is it going to ruin the reader’s experience? Not unless they’re picky. Is it going to shut down this sight as we know it? No. Please go be a sour apple to somebody else. I absolutely cannot stand people who act like you. Good night.

And if you didn’t notice, I have slight anger issues. That’s no excuse, and if you want me banned, feel free to use every single word in the above paragraph to prove any points to a mod.

10h agoCake09877

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12316248/

Okay, upon seeing my posted reply, I did come off harsher than intended.

If you have valid proof, please tell me and I will listen. I’m grumpy, but I’m not senseless. And I’d appreciate it if you’d post something such as that through PM, not on my story. I don’t mind critiquing, but it ruins the fun everybody else is having when you sharply point out something that I may have possibly done wrong.

10h agoAddysnow

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12316242/

Hey Farla,

Thanks for the feedback- I appreciate your help in improving the fanfiction, especially with the grammatical mistakes and everything.
(*It’s been six years since my last fanfiction- and I never knew what semicolons do, but now I know ^_^)
I’ll take your feedback into account when I edit this chapter and create the next chapter.
As for the completely Bold font- I was doing the ‘Copy-Paste’ mode in the editor- really terrible idea now that I’ve seen the results.

BTW, do I need to do some back story for the character? Or I don’t really need to?

2h agowalkswithwheels

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12315639/

Thank you for taking the time to review my story.

As for the capitalization of Pokémon, I believe this is a stylistic choice, so I am choosing to keep Pokémon, professors etc. capitalized in all of my work, no matter what. Thank you for letting me know about another option, though.

As for the structure of the pack, yes, I’m aware that there is other types of packs, but this was the first thing that came to my head, and that’s what I went with. I know it might be odd, but I prefer to keep it that way. Thank you for your ideas though.

Her being scared to leave was something I hadn’t thought of. I will consider them the remake. However, I already have a few fan fictions where someone was leaving a place and was terrified, so I didn’t want to repeat the same concept. Maybe being scared is something I could mention in the background.

I feel like her being scared might not make too much sense either though, since the Mimikyu in game are never seen as scared, just lonely (heck, their entire trial revolves around them having one of them having their picture being taken and enjoying it). I’ll be sure to try and figure out this idea.

When I said “a person there”, I didn’t mean that Margaret was thinking of herself as a person, I meant that she was trying to visualize someone at the counter. I probably should’ve fixed the person to mention “someone” instead of “person”.

As for the vending machine, I didn’t mean to imply that that was the only thing they were living off of. When I do the remake, I will put in more details about what else allows them to survive. Since Mimikyu never leave the supermarket in the games, I was assuming they were living off something in the supermarket and never leaving, but did not have the word capacity to explain what. Maybe in the remake I can explain a bit better (taking out the other Ghost types and having a privileged few go in disguises, for example).

I’m aware that it isn’t too believable that everyone instantly thinks it’s a good idea. That was a problem I had with the word limits, because I originally had planned to put scenes in between there with them debating it are talking about it, but had no way I could do it. Again, this will be added into the remake to make more natural.

As for why one lonely Pokémon decided not to embark on the whole crazy adventure, I already had a similar fan fiction where someone did that, and as a result did not want to repeat what I’d already written. Not to mention, I thought it would be funnier if the entire pack just swarmed of the city (one of the scenes that will be added back into the remake).