Pokereplies Part 7

I believe I don’t need a bata reader.

Grammar and Spelling

Jan 16Liningcorn9A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12320777/

Kind of why I said to try and bear with it at the top. It does get better.

Your Review

Jan 17OneLonelyPokemonA response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12321421/

Hello Farla!

I would like to thank you for your review. I will try to improve and edit my written chapters and will make sure to follow proper english the best I can for the next chapters. It’s very helpful, but I’m not sure I can work it all out. Again, I will do my best to fix the grammar.

Thanks!

P.S. : What’s an ellipsis?

masteratwriting42
https://www.fanfiction.net/u/8655701/

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Subject: re: Your review to Pokemon: The Milky Way Series Book 1

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12321916/

hey man if you don’t like it that’s your choice but I’m not changing anything.

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re: Your review to Will Somebody Stop These Kids?

Jan 18icomeanon6A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12322656/

I’ve heard about you! I even went to the trouble of writing a copypaste response to your famous Pokemon-capitalization-copypaste:

“In this universe the capitalization of “Pokemon” and of the species names of individual Pokemon is a linguistic holdover from a pseudo-animist religion which was once ubiquitous. A major facet of this religion was reverence to Pokemon, who were seen as semi-divine. As such it was considered proper to add a mark or other emphasis to any written characters or hieroglyphs that referred to Pokemon, and this tradition lingers today in the form of capitalizing the first letter of names.”

As for your other points, I found the one about caffeine valuable. I’m not an expert on caffeine or sleep deprivation, so if I have time I’ll do some research and find out what some more convincing numbers would be.

[Either stick to the game’s monetary system or go with one people are familiar with, don’t try to do both at once.]

A lot of people call the in-game currency Pokeyen, as its value is supposed to be roughly equal to that of the yen. I included the comparison one time so that readers would be on the same page. Didn’t mean to offend anyone’s sensibilities.

[As opposed to any other idiot kid poking their nose where it doesn’t belong, who it would be totally fine to explain that he’s an undercover agent.]

Yes, because the other kids don’t know his name. Jason knows his name and his family and before you know it his whole family knows. The rules for him say that strangers can know he’s with the police in a pinch, but with friends, family, and acquaintances it’s verboten. Also, it’s not like he’d mention the undercover part anyway.

[Honestly, this isn’t even a big deal. He’s supposed to have a police job because it’s how he’s selling stuff out to Team Rocket. Pretending to potential witnesses that could get in the way of his pretend illegal activities that no, uh, the police are setting up an ambush, he knows because he works with them! fits just fine. The only reason this is even a problem is the idea that he’s supposed to tell his family a different job than his cover story, which there appears to be no reason for and exists only to be yet another strike against the idea the police force has any clue what they’re doing.]

He’s allegedly a clerk, not an officer. Team Rocket doesn’t think he has a badge. The kids aren’t going to believe him without the badge – they’d more likely think he’s a member of Team Rocket and try to start a fight. As for the police force, they are not in fact supposed to have the best idea what they’re doing and their operations are hamstrung by rules and policies set from above by people who don’t understand the situation on the ground well enough. This is why Derek thinks his job is all about “futility.” More evidence of this comes later when Hanna says they never return Bill’s calls, even though his lab would be a huge help. A lot of this is intentional and will be important later. The problem I have with the “Cinema Sins” approach to criticism is the assumption that every character and group in a story is supposed to be a perfect logic machine. Speaking of which…

[He’s known to Team Rocket. The entire plan is based on him being known to Team Rocket. That means that if he, the person supposedly on their side selling them police secrets, just so happens to be seen tracking the person they send out, they’re going to put one and one together. Meanwhile, someone else would probably be overlooked as just a random stranger, and even if they were noticed, Derek could claim he had no idea how it happened and maybe keep his contact and get another chance.]

He’s only allowed to work solo because of a misguided policy that this is how “deep undercover” missions are supposed to be carried out, because the police aren’t supposed to be well-run and don’t have enough of a culture of collaboration. This is going to be relevant to Derek’s decisions and growth as a character later in the story.

[…also, why did he have to stay up for a day and a half to accomplish this?]

Because that’s how wide the window for when the Grunt might show up was. I set it up that way because Derek’s job is supposed to suck. Sorry, thought that was obvious.

[Is this taking place in a universe where pokemon moves don’t exist and battles are just pokemon flinging blobs of whatever their type is?]

No, it’s supposed to take place in a universe where eleven-year-olds think and talk like eleven-year-olds, meaning sometimes in generalizations.

[Presumably it’s the same universe as where the solution to this problem is to lead the children away so that your stakeout is ruined and the criminals get the package while you get nothing.]

I believe I made it clear that the Grunts got fake reporting and Derek is still getting money. He’s also sleep-deprived and has a phobia of children, which is going to be an important element of his character arc.

[It seems pretty unlikely it’s that straightforward when the kids with pokemon licenses, by nature, have pokemon and will often be more than capable of putting up a fight.]

Good point that trainers would be able to put up a fight, but all I can say is bear with me on this one. You win this round?

[More, this doesn’t make sense. You’re setting this up like because it’s so easy to ruin the kids’ lives he can’t tell their parents, therefore he has no way of getting them to stop and so is begging other people to try to get them under control, as if threatening to tell their parents to get them to fall in line isn’t an option.]

Derek has a phobia of children and he doesn’t think as clearly when they’re involved. This is going to be important later.

[And I doubt this too, unless it’s also rare to see kids with death wishes. Even if you’re pretty into gun ownership, you see a kid staring into the barrel while wondering why the gun didn’t fire, you’re probably going to want their license revoked.]

I agree. For that matter, why allow kids to have Pokemon at all when they’re so powerful and dangerous? In fact, I find the question of whether Pokemon would be too dangerous to let real children be around to be so interesting that I decided to write a fanfiction that is in part about that very question. You’re reading it.

[God, he is just shit at this.]

It took over ten years for him to mess up this badly, give him a break. Also, phobia of children, affects decision making, etc. etc. etc.

I’m not really a fan of your style of reviewing, but thanks anyway for your time. I try to have things make sense, so I’ll make note of some of your grievances and try to clarify my thinking in the future.

impostrophe
https://www.fanfiction.net/u/8657321/

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Subject: Thank You

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12319209/

I really appreciate you taking the time out of your schedule to review my prologue!!! I’m sorry you didn’t enjoy my alternate universe interpretation of this story! Hopefully when I post more chapters you might actually understand where I’m trying to go with this story! Have a GREAT day and thanks for reading! :))))))))))))))))))))))))

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If you’re confused, no, I did nothing between getting this PM then and going to paste it in now. 

re: Your review to The Aura Bond

Jan 18N1nt3nd0A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12316016/

Okay, so I’m a bit new to writing stories, so I’m kinda new to this. Thanks for the friendly criticism, I’ll try and use these for my next chapter, but still, I don’t really know what I’m doing.

re: Your review to Living a Lie

Jan 19PhantasmaXwA response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12324187/

thanks :D

re: Your review to The Vermilion Dragon

Jan 19Gentle AlouetteA response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12324073/

First and foremost, I want to thank you for reviewing my story. It means a lot that you even decided to read it and offer me criticisms. I know that my writing isn’t perfect or that the intentions of the characters and plot is unclear. In bringing up these comments and concerns, you have given me some notes to work on and better explain as I continue to write the story. Here are some clarifications:

A lot of what you brought up are fair points. Lorelei isn’t killed off here because it is thought of by many, including myself, that after all of the stuff she had to deal with in the Sevii Islands and with Team Rocket, she simply retired from the Elite Four. I wanted the story to somewhat match with the games, explaining how and why a few things became as they were. As for Agatha, many (and by many I’m talking about theorists on the internet) believe that she died sometime between the first and second games. Of course, in all actuality, the makers of the game probably just needed new Elite Four members, and they chose to ditch Agatha and Lorelei.

I guess I should’ve been more clear on the nature of Lorelei’s absence. Originally, she went home for a visit, but was caught up there by Team Rocket, by order of Lance, and is now forced to stay. It is in every way illegal to work with criminals, especially for a member of the Elite Four. In discovering this as well as the fact that he is keeping Lorelei from returning to better suit his ambitions, Agatha confronted him. As for battling each other in a four-way match, Lance did not think that that would actually come up since Bruno and Agatha didn’t appear to be the confrontational type, and he was more or less their leader anyway. Of course as it was revealed, he was wrong. He only worried about Lorelei since they’re not exactly on the best of terms. I’ll need to lay out the nature of their relationship.

I’ll admit the line about Bruno’s lack of understanding on typing advantages was stretching it.

Lance hadn’t meant to kill Agatha, it had been an accident, and he certainly wouldn’t want to deliberately kill Lorelei or Bruno either. He is and was all mouth when he threatened Bruno.

Again, he does not necessarily want to just kill everyone. But, the idea of disposing of the council had crossed his mind, however that was to come up as the story progressed. Same as to how Red became emperor. Sheer force had something to do with it, yes, but as the story goes on, it would’ve been revealed that he had been essentially granted the position due to his ranking in the war, seeing as the emperor title was adopted into Kanto’s government system from Johto, whose own emperor had been disposed of. Yes, I suppose the council can’t really stop Lance. However, they wouldn’t acknowledge his claim as emperor, as it has been established that they don’t wish for someone from Johto to lead. More on this prejudice was to come. That may not matter in the long run, so this may be fixed. Bruno won’t turn him in because no one can stop Lance, yes. But he is making him keep quiet because he does not want his reputation to be ruined. If he was thought of to be a murderer, no one would truly want him as an emperor. He wishes to be loved and accepted, not some tyrant that eventually be assassinated.

Lastly, Lance was eventually going to realize that he needed some political allies. This was going to come in the form of the new Elite Four… And, I do admit my author’s note didn’t clarify anything about the setting. I do apologize.

So in all, to reiterate, thank you for bringing these issues to light. I’ll work to better my story. Have a good day.

Jan 19Sorry to double message you, you must be a very busy person. But, after mulling over what you said, and looking back at my response, I’ve come to realize I should rewrite some of the major plot points in the first chapter. Noticing that must of your criticisms stem from one thing, I’ve decided to eliminate that factor completely. What was the factor? Well, it was the whole idea of Lance killing Agatha. She simply could have died on her own or not in such a big way. I suppose I was getting ahead of myself in wanting Lance to appear…hmm I can’t think of the right word, but I’ll settle for ruthless… So I asked myself if it was REALLY necessary. And frankly, it wasn’t. It honestly brought on more problems than it was worth.In keeping some of the other things you pointed out in mind, this way of having Agatha pass away gives Lance an ally in Bruno, who will now be of no threat to him, as I plan on having him support Lance’s claim. I’ll amp up the tension in the relationship between Lorelei and Lance to give the readers more understanding as to why he had to get rid of her. And, I’ll provide more background on how Red came into power, along with why the council does not want Lance as emperor.

I’m sorry for being a bother in messaging you, truly. And you probably didn’t need to know any of that. But I wanted to let you know of the self-reflection and fixes I plan on making to better my story and fill all plot holes thanks to your review. I wouldn’t have thought there was anything glaringly wrong otherwise. Again, have a nice day.

Ya Boy Guzma
https://www.fanfiction.net/u/8555072/

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Subject: Your review to Gone Fishing

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12323673/

Hello Farla,

I’m impressed; I’ve been reading fanfics and seeing your reviews about the correct grammar for around a year now, so I didn’t expect to get one so soon from you!
First of all, I hope you have the bit about capitalisation saved somewhere to copy and paste; for your sake I know it would be lengthy to type it individually on every single fic you come across like it. Now I respect entirely your guide, and having read through it factually you are of course flawless, but while I respect it, I also intend to continue writing the way I currently am with regards to species names.
I’ve seen, a year or so ago, a friend of mine who had an account on here take your advice from a review you gave her (I don’t remember her pen name, come to think of it), and get slated before by fans who didn’t like the lack of capitalisation as the games/manga do it; it is my opinion that I would prefer to continue as I am as although the translations may be wrong, I have grown up with them and want to stick by them. Maybe that’s stubborn, maybe you might think I’m wrong to do so, but it feels right to me to do it this way.
I …

This one is a more explicable block – I reviewed a second story later on in the month and evidently they decided enough with it. Another reason not to put off collecting replies until afterward.

Celestial Embers
https://www.fanfiction.net/u/6853145/

Reply link: https://www.fanfiction.net/pm2/post.php?rid=204000377#new
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Subject: re: Your review to A Breath of Fresh Air

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12324001/

Hey!

I’ve heard of people like you in the Pokemon community, especially you Farla, getting triggered over the way to write names and so on and so forth. I’m going to be frank with you, I really don’t care, nor do I believe the majority of readers do. It’s written that way in the games and I’ll do the same.

As for the plot, well, I’ve got my own style of writing. And how is a character who knows nothing of the Pokemon world going to be able to know exactly what he’ll do in the first few moments of arriving there?

I’m going to give you this piece of advise, and I really hope you take it to heart. for the sake of your own mental health. Stop being such a fussy prick. Understand that people are different, don’t share your opinions, and that you aren’t the center of the universe. Try enjoying life instead.

Have a nice day!

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And this is a super understandable block – I told them to stop saying shit like “getting triggered” and they suddenly gained an appreciation for safe spaces!
Thanks!

Jan 19EmptySnowA response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12313884/

I’m kind of late with my reply, sorry!

I’m not really good at grammar, so I really appreciate your comment. Writing a dialogue is pretty confusing for me, so reading your review makes it easier to get them right (I just hope, that I’ll be able to learn them by heart). So, once again, thank you very much!

re: Your review to A Darkrai’s New Reality

Jan 19AzulDeltaA response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12323569/

Thank you for the tips for using capital letters. And for your opinion about the identity for Michael. Constructive criticism is always required.

Obs: When used by a Poison-type, like ariados, Toxic cannot miss. That is why a pokémon with the ability Protean cannot miss a Toxic, because they became Poison-types on use.

Regarding your review

Jan 19Hello, this is Sousuke speaking. I am one of the co-writers of this account. I greatly appreciate the feedback given to us, especially regarding our grammer use. I am just an editor with little experience with writing, as many of my colleagues are as well. I do however, want to address some misconceptions that my colleagues and I had.One of them being that the “Hoeen-esque” beginning was unintentionally similar. Nyla wanted to give a bit of a “shitty parent” vibe out of it. I also have a counter – argument. I believe it gives a bit of nostalgia to fans of the Hoeen region and of Pokémon itself. I am one of those Hoeen fans.

As for how Nyla was a certified trainer despite having no pokemon, Akairo was persistent and stated that it still makes sense because of how it works within the games. In the games, you still have a trainer card despite not having a pokemon.

Akairo once again, brought up the fact that getting a pokemon by other means still runs the risks of her parents finding out. She does not want to get in trouble with her parents because they are quite strict and the punishment may be severe. We merely forgot to state the consequence for more clarity.

I would like to stress once again that almost all of us are novice writers and when working in a group project, there is bound to be mishaps. I am sorry if we didn’t clarify our intentions and I apologize if I seem rude. Thank you for helping us improve our work. We enjoy constructive criticism and welcome it. As you can see, I am the formal one of the group.

Sincerely,

Sousuke  [Succ]

(P.S. I’m going to take a look at the grammar guide mentioned on your profile. I probably need it the most! Also, we’ll make sure to elaborate on our writing and to improve in the future! -Skye)

Thank you for your insights.

Jan 20AMostObliviousAnonymousA response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12323815/

Yes, I really, really appreciate this. I’d like to point out that I was writing this more for my own personal pleasure than anything else, and had just randomly decided to put it on the Internet. It may seem like I’m being a toto all jackass, but I don’t give a shit, because my life is downright horrible right now and things like this are the last thing I need. I had all but forgotten about this fic, if I’m being completely honest. So, you know what? Thanks! This sealed the deal for me! I’m taking this story down off the site. I’ll keep writing it if I feel like it, I just won’t publicize it. Don’t bother replying to this. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to make sure my sister isn’t trying to kill herself again.

re: Your review to Instances in Imithus

Jan 20SchmacklarA response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12322906/

All was going to be explained eventually, but fine. it’s not as if this was going to get much attention anyway. Might as well just delete it, right? Maybe I should have just never posted this on here.

Your lecture on grammar is appreciated, but I’ll think on the rest.

Ash Betrayals

Jan 20YordleBroRepeating the same shit in a lazier manner doesn’t make it less shit, but poking fun at the shit was totally worth the laughs it came with.

“The goal is not to divide up the story into even more blocks” – True, I don’t put much effort into paragraphs, aside from preventing the story being a wall of text (which I know some find really hard to read), but tracking a new paragraph for every new persons speech would be ridiculous, not to mention would do exactly what you say the purpose is NOT to, and make it so that you would have to work a lot harder to follow the text.

Other than that, I consider all Pokemons names to be their species names (as that is what they are, with few exceptions, called) in the games, anime, and manga. Other than that, Pokemon was a grey area for me, but I felt better writing capitalizing it as the name of the series (as well as the species). Either way, thank you for your feedback on my actual writing.

re: Your review to The talking Gastly

Jan 21dsloupaA response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12327304/

Thank you for your comment Farla, I apologize in advance, my English is very bad, this is a friend who took care to translate my fanfiction in English with her own style of writing. My Fanfiction is originally in French.

Normally, I write the numbers in letters and not in numbers. But for capital letters, one person told me, the contrary, that it was necessary to use it for the names of the Pokémon. Like for “Pokémon”, you should never grant it. After I write only for pleasure, I do not try too hard to take my head with all these rules. I hope you like this story despite everything.

Thank you for your comment. :)

Your Review on Kanto Guardian

Jan 21HeroOfManHello! I’m the author, HeroOfMan! Thank you for your review on Kanto Guardian! I’m working on fixing the dialogue, but it’s not really a fact whether or not Pokemon species are capitalized. I prefer capitalizing them… because Ash IS the one whose Pokemon they are most of the time, and to follow the game/anime which this is heavily based off of.

As far as dialogue, I thought I was following how it works. Isn’t this correct (sorry, your review was hard to read on the dialogue):

“Hello,” person one said.

“Hello,” person two said.

“How are you doing?” person one yawned.

“Good, how about you?” person two asked.

re: Your review to Ghost Story

Jan 21anjumstarA response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12327184/

Hey, there! Thanks for reviewing! Um, let’s get started, shall we?

Hah, yeah, I am fully aware of the function of semi-colons. I actually read grammar and punctuation books in my free time. But never have I seen a rule that says that they should be used infrequently. I know that they ARE used infrequently, but I personally really like them. And I know that they should be used like periods or full stops between two sentences, but just like you shouldn’t ever write a fragment but you do sometimes in fiction, I believe the same holds up when you’re using a semi-colon instead of a period. Fair?

I actually went through the very same dilemma that you pointed out regarding the capitalization of Pokemon names a few years ago, and I agree perfectly with everything you said. However, it is my habit to capitalize all of the nouns that stand out from the Pokemon world versus ours, those things being Pokemon names, yes, but also words like Battle and PokeBall and Water-Type, etc. So, yeah, logically, I think that you’re right. But this is a form that is used sometimes in fantasy-type books, you know? So I’m gonna keep it my way, although I appreciate your opinion.

I know that an Electric-Type at a Water Gym isn’t a guaranteed loss! But remember, that this is the POV of a 5-year-old. She’s just seen her poor flippered friends burned too many times by electricity and she sees it as a trump card. That’s all.

I know that a Pokemon CAN use a move more than once. Obviously. But if you’re looking at real life strategy versus game strategy, you also have to look at opportunity. Maybe she used it again, but it missed. Or maybe Seel was hit before being able to pull it off. Or maybe she was never in a good spot to call it again. Sorry I didn’t show the whole battle, but I often start part way through because I don’t want to bore people with a full battle.

The kid was sitting dejectedly on the side of the pool. He would have gotten there, but he was doing some good, old-fashioned 10-year-old moping.

Thank you!

Oh, I never thought that anyone would have an issue with this. Well, yeah, it looks pretty not-AU now, but it will show itself later. Basically, the timeline is different. Some characters are alive at different times than in any of the universes we’re familiar with. So, yeah, it’s just not showing itself right now.

Okay, I think that’s all the points! I love a good debate, so feel free to argue any of them, haha! I appreciate criticism always, and it seems like this is something you do on a regular basis. I’m gonna give you some unwarranted advice, based on what I saw on your profile. If people really are lashing back at you based on your reviews, then don’t change the content–these things are valuable to people who want to get better (which, unfortunately, isn’t everyone) but most people don’t respond well to the bluntness. Just ease up a little on the delivery, so that they feel like critiques instead of attacks, you know? But, hey, if this is your rhythm, then don’t let me change it!

Oof, sorry about that. Apparently neither of us can avoid critiquing things haha. No, I’m very much the same. Therefore: thank you again for the specificity of this review. It shows that the reader cares, and I appreciate that. Thanks!

re: Your review to Pokemon Legends

Jan 21TheOneNovaFlameA response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12326873/

Thanks! i am a beginning author so all that you just said was really helpful!

re: Your review to Mafia Lodged

Jan 22Darius BlakeA response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/11924583/

Under normal circumstances, I would be rather put out that someone would accuse me of erasing Karkat’s personality after just one chapter. However, as I haven’t updated in 8 months (how did that happen???), I guess I kinda forfeit any right I have to indignation, right? On futher inspection I recently decided to rewrite the whole thing, feeling I could do better than the ok-ish pile of word vomit I put out 8 months ago. I would be greatful if you could read my current attempt at Stabdading properly and offer any constructive criticism you may have.

I’m still trying to get the characterization right on some characters and I feel feedback would really help.

Ancient Homestuck response, but nice to see because they really did redo it with much better characterization.

re: Your review to Another World Another Time
Jan 22A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12328946/Hello dear, it’s nice to know my story had sadly gotten your attention and I believe I don’t need a bata reader. As far as I’m aware of, the only problem I have with my writing is past tense and, I only know, because I have gotten a beta reader to work with me long ago, but that’s not the point, to why I am writing to you today. No. Not at all.

I understand what you and your good friend are trying to do, I won’t post a name, but I have feeling you already know her anyway.
Moving on however, you have helped writers grown in the past, which I’m not afraid to admit out loud, but copying and pasting your reviews is never a good thing. It gives off to readers, that your nothing but a sad, sad, little person, who has no life and likes to complain about fictional characters, that as far as anyone else is concern who doesn’t know the topic, couldn’t give a penny and five cents over.
As for, the good old Pokémon names and how to word, then correctly, I know how it works. You’ve reviewed to a chapter, that I’m aware you haven’t even had a look at the second one, because if you have, you’re review wouldn’t even be there. Not to mention, it couldn’t help to be nice and say a couple of kind words every now and again, instead of throwing all your money worth at people.
I’m sure; you’ve had a lot of people snap at you for being hard, but please remember dear, fan fiction is a place for young authors.
It’s where they start and how to see the world for the first time, this message isn’t to tell you off, because I’m sure others had beaten me to the finished line. Instead, it’s to give you a hint, to try and be nice, instead of copying and pasting from your last review, or from, “how grammar works,” topic. I’m sure, I will get a PM from you, telling me, that you can’t understand my writing and, I would most likely think of you as a lost course.

Just remember, just because you’ve been here for a long time, does not make you god, not by any means. It, also doesn’t make you a fanatics writer, it just means, you’ve learnt a lot and there’s a lot more you need to know, just like everyone else and I’m no different.
P.S: if you want to say, that my work sucks and is awful, then feel free to check out my first story and tell me. Even you would have to admit, my writing has greatly improve.
Frist story: Mystery in town

36m ago[copying and pasting your reviews is never a good thing. It gives off to readers, that your nothing but a sad, sad, little person, who has no life and likes to complain about fictional characters]I would’ve thought that spending ages typing it up by hand each time would be more of the no-life thing.

[ Not to mention, it couldn’t help to be nice and say a couple of kind words every now and again]

Look, you do you and all, but personally? Not into lying to people myself.

26m ago(Look, you do you and all, but personally? Not into lying to people myself.)
Im not encourage you to lie to people. I’m pretty much saying, that your making yourself look like a fool. You review to stroies that are new and could use a bit of help, I’m all in for that. But I have never seen you, review to a Fic, that is very well witten and I’ve never seen you encourage that. Don’t think I’m stalking you, because that’s the last thing I want to do. However, after I’ve always review, I always go into the review section to see what others say about the work, never have I seen you write a nice review. You always seen to review to the first chapter and you never seen to come back. You don’t lie, but you don’t encourage on what they have improved of not.
19m agoNot isn’t meant to be there.
13m agohttps://www.fanfiction.net/community/Farla-s-Collection-of-Decent-Pokemon-Stories/1209/
4m agoSo, I’m just going to give up on you. Many because I pretty much want to forget you exist, it’s clear your not getting what I’m saying. If I want to waste my time, I’ll watch paint dry. Yep. This conversation comes at the end and really it should have a long time ago, I mean. Man, I know people can get busy, but busy that it takes a mouth to message someone. You must had to try real hard, to think about something to complain. So, see ya. (Ninja choses to pass and forget, level of the not so brightes, complete.)
Your review
Jan 22Gako959Thank you for review and the critic but remeber i’m just and amateur, i have dyslexia and i english is not my primary language.
I do wellcome all the help i can get.
re: corrections

Jan 23EvanibbleA response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12328913/

Thanks for the tips, I appreciate it. I’ll edit those in when I get the time :)

re: corrections

Jan 23EvanibbleA response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12328913/

Also, it isn’t a self-insert. I’m not 17.

Thank you

Jan 23Confection of BlissThank you for the review. I’ll do my best to implement your advice the next time I write a story. 😊👌

Review on Pokémon Ascent

Jan 23Nightstrike The UmbreonA response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12329447/

Uh…Thanks for the book?

To be serious though, I’ve taken note of a lot of the things you’ve said, thanks for the constructive criticism!

Now to get the other things cleared up…

The reason the pokehumans are fine with owning pokemon is the fact that they know that, once being a Pokémon themselves, they could definitely take care of a Pokémon better than a human could, sometimes, the pokehumans will fight alongside there Pokémon, using what little power they retained from being a pokemon, but due to there being no battles yet, you wouldn’t be able to know that, another difference is that pokehumans always consult their Pokémon before battling other trainers, as well as consulting wild Pokémon before catching them.

If you have anymore questions or criticism, please PM me back.

vv

5 Comments

  1. Anla'Shok says:
    [The reason the pokehumans are fine with owning pokemon is the fact that they know that, once being a Pokémon themselves, they could definitely take care of a Pokémon better than a human could,]

    It’s cute how much they miss the point. They’re ‘saving’ wild pokemon from the bad humans, are they? If at least they took in abused pokemon or there was some pretense of trying to right a wrong.

    I get that an uprising against the whole owning-pokemon institution is hard to pull off, and maybe they want to act like humans so the actual humans won’t decide they’re pokemon enough to enslave *them* , but if it’s just another ‘look, my MC is so decent, they don’t beat up their pokemon and feed them thrice a day’ fic it’s sad.

    On the other hand, a story where pokemon, as soon as they become human(ish) decide ‘woohoo, now we can have servants too!’ might be interesting. There’s no real reason why pokemon, even in the same species, should be tight knit (I guess it would depend on the species).




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    1. Septentrion says:

      [a story where pokemon, as soon as they become human(ish) decide ‘woohoo, now we can have servants too!’ might be interesting.]

      I had a (male) moemon admit to a pacifist human that he would if he could. They were both about eight year olds and the reason the moemon gave was “I just like the idea of having two dragon ladies destroying all that would oppose me.” Unfortionately, neither were the protagonist and things go very badly for them.




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      1. Farla says:

        It’s not that it’s impossible – we know being a slave doesn’t stop people from going on to keep slaves. It’s that if you’re not making a point about them having a different perspective as a result of their background, then why even bother giving them that background? Plus unlike the human versions of this, the pokemon world’s version is with things that appear to be animals and can’t communicate with us, so they don’t have the pile of rationalizations we had to construct to explain why people who could talk just like us were less intelligent than dogs.




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        1. Septentrion says:

          The point of that background is to explain why they are not just going around capturing slaves and winning badges.

          Also, most slave owning cultures were not interested in antislavery agruments so there are no need for rationalizations.




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    2. Farla says:

      It’s even weirder than that. All of the main character’s friends and family mysteriously disappeared over time because they’ve been turning human, but only when they somehow knew he’d turned human did they go get him. Then their next stop is to get a pokemon from the professor for personal gain, at which point they just hand him a baby version of his own species that he’s to use as a meat shield when traveling.




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