Now this has a proper cut.
Thanks you, sometimes when I get typing really fast I don’t always
notice my mistakes. Also I have to admit that I don’t know all that much
about the rules with commas and semicolons. Normal I just tried to
avoid them and only use them if my computer starts yelling at me =^_^=
I wasn’t sure about having this with the first chapter, I may go back
and put this with it with the corrections before I post the chapter one.
I just have to get though it first.
While i agree that pikmaster should at least start the story in the
first chapter, he can ask for OC’s and get them to all fit together. I
asked for OC’s in chapter one and all of my feedback has been positive.
I’m working on chapter 11 and still going strong!
Hmm, I did not go back and fix anything as I never meant to post it. I
left it as it was first written. I stated still the very beginning that
it would not be continued. Thank you for helping point out the simple
mistakes though. I see them to, now that you phrased it for me.
you for taking time out of your schedule to read and write a review for
my story “My Best Friends”, I appreciate your time. I understand the
point you were making in the review but I don’t think I have any of the
examples you claim to be correcting in my writing. Maybe I just don’t
see them but perhaps if you feel the need you can point them out to me.
As far as I can see, I never even used the words “said” or “stated”
anywhere in the story. On another note I wrote that in under an hour so I
apologize if it’s not up to snuff for you, it was just my way of
venting my feelings in a quick manner so I could get some sleep. If you
were commenting about how Twiggy spoke to Braise I wanted it to seem
like the sentences were ‘broken’ in a sense, since Twiggy is, in fact, a
twig and the conversation was going on in Braise’s head so it was my
attempt at adding some kind of clue as to how Twiggy sounds to Braise.
Also, I checked out your page and blog where you post the stories you
reviewed with the reviews you gave them and noticed the other stories
received the same exact review as me. Did you actually read the whole
entire story or do you skim a few sentences and paste whichever seems
best onto random fanfictions you decide to read that day? Not everyone
on this site is in it for accuracy. I appreciate that you’re trying to
help, but perhaps if you worded your reviews a bit nicer you wouldn’t
receive so much hate for it and feel the need to broadcast it.
Thanks for the constructive criticize and I understand exactly how you
feel about this story. However the story is a side project I am working
on and the main character is still sort of being developed. The biggest
thing I agree with is the Title. I have been trying to come up with a
better Title but as a work in progreess a new title probably wont come
up for a while.
Thanks for taking the time to give some pointers! The overall goal is to
really nail that Sam is still a kid who’s running away from home to
some new place, with no clue of the rules for that or how the world
works. I deliberately went for ‘ramble’ just because in her head, she’s
lost and rambling. Guess I went overboard…sorry about that. I’ll take
what you said into account!
Have a good one! =)
XxXSqueeksXxXA response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/10009323/
In the anime, May has large sized breasts for a 10 year old. This is a
Pokemon fanfic, which is based off of Pokemon. Therefore, my character
could easily have breasts that have disappeared, even though it makes no
sense in our world. My story isn’t based in our world. Half of the
stuff in Pokemon doesn’t really even make sense logically.
The starvation is Kiya’s own fault in a way, although I didn’t really
show that very well. She refuses to take handouts, even when she is
hungry.
A’stories10A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/10007875/
Yeah………. its just a style of writing I’m doing to make it seem more like
the dialogue in the game, I know that in regular writing that what you
speak of is correct. So besides grammar any other comments? Like on the
story itself? I’m really curious to know how others like it.
First of all thanks for the review! ^^
About that paranoid part, I realised now that it doesn’t make sense as
you pinpointed -.-” I took a second look on the chapter and corrected
it, check it out and tell me if its better? :)
Also about Cynthia’s personality, her character is not yet in the
champion style. I aim for making a weak character turn into a strong one
but this doesn’t mean that she doesn’t have strengths. You’ll see as
the story progresses if you stick around. Maybe I should have made the
first chapter longer, but anyways, i still it is early to say something.
I haven’t watched the anime where she appeared so please don’t judge
according to that, I will make her turn into the champion I saw in the
games. But as you know right now she is weak, yes, she is crying but it
is the first chapter and you can’t say she is incompetent just by this. I
haven’t even reached for the summary material.
Finally I promise it won’t be identical to your badfic formula since I
don’t like it very much, this will be different, I give you my word. But
it is up to you if you want to continue to check out ot not.
Again, thanks for your kind words! It is always nice to hear reviews that make me go over the chapter again ^^
Hey, guess what. I asked for OC’s in my other story and it’s doing fine.
The reason there isn’t a plot here is because this is my set up
chapter. You also might want to check your own grammar, it is “Hello,”
She said. Nice try but you really shouldn’t give advice in a place you
don’t have experience.
You also might want to check your own grammar, it is “Hello,”
She said. Nice try but you really shouldn’t give advice in a place you
don’t have experience.
Oh dear lord.
It’s brilliant, really! If you know you know everything, you never need to check anything. Then it turns out you’re never wrong!
“Yeah………. its just a style of writing I’m doing to make it seem more like the dialogue in the game, I know that in regular writing that what you speak of is correct.”
I figured this person was writing “*laughs*” in dialogue or something, but all Farla said to them was the dialogue punctuation thing, so where did this come from?
I guess badly written dialogue is the only way to bring to mind speech bubbles.
“The biggest
thing I agree with is the Title.”
Oh no.
“breasts”
Oh NO.