The revenge review front was decidedly lacking until a hero arrived.

The first I got was:

Story: SPerl
Chapter: 1. White

From: gingericus19 ( https://www.fanfiction.net/u/4697314/ )
——————-

Please try to alternate your uses of exposition and dialogue more effectively.

Please stop using adverbs.

Please stop using the passive voice.

Thank you.

——————-

which I’m still not sure is even related. They did respond normally enough when I replied, I just couldn’t get anything specific out of them.

Story: SPerl
Chapter: 1. White

From: Nah (Guest)
——————-

Nah:Okay, so I have a bit of criticism for this story, and I apologize greatly if this offends you, considering you’ve basically crushed all of my twelve year old self’s hopes and dreams of being a good writer. Well, I’m older now, a lot older, but still.

To the criticism, I do not particularly enjoy the fact that you add rows and rows of dialogue without any detail to back it up. Your characters are very bland, and I believe it’s because you’re a perfectionist. You are trying too hard to be perfect at writing, and it comes off as boring, without any quirks.

——————-

Story: SPerl
Chapter: 2. Talk of Talking

From: Nah (Guest)
——————-

Nah:I’m definitely not going to continue reading this since it didn’t grasp my interest in any way. But another piece of advice; your chapters are much too short, and are relatively irritating to read. The paragraphs are much too small as well. You could at least TRY HARDER if you have that much of an ego problem. Live up to your criticism, why don’t you?

——————-

Story: Outside the Box Failures
Chapter: 1. Chapter 1

From: Nah (Guest)
——————-

Nah:I love Madoka Magica, don’t get me wrong, it’s just that this drabble was very…plain. Not that I have anything against it, it’s one of your better pieces that I’ve read. It’s just that your writing style needs to have a bit more emotion to it. You can do that… right?

——————-

So it was shaping up to be a pretty lackluster month.

Story: SPerl
Chapter: 10. Flying High

From: Guest
——————-

hi ms. farla the troll. how are you doing troll? oh i know, you are playing with your lesbo friend’s penis and thinking about who to flame next. why dont you kill yourself instead of flaming other people’s story, you grammar nazi. if i could, i would’ve kick in your balls and spank on your butt you bitch.

ha ha ha, how did it taste you fuckking asshole? ha ha ha

Story: SPerl
Chapter: 10. Flying High

From: Guest
——————-

Dialogue is NOT written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, always “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence does contain a speech verb, in which case it’s written as “Hello dumbbitch.” farla grinned like an idiot, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned. Note that something is a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is NOT in any category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “This is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” Also, remember that generally “said” is the best speech verb to use, and even more importantly, “stated” is no*** yada yada yada. this is what you call a review, you fuckking cunt? very well you know it all bitch, you are gonna get this a lot from now on. you know it all dumass idiot, you can’t even write a story. i wanna kick ur ever loving butt.

——————-

Story: SPerl
Chapter: 10. Flying High

From: Guest
——————-

Dialogue is NOT written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, always “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence does contain a speech verb, in which case it’s written as “Hello dumbbitch.” farla grinned like an idiot, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned. Note that something is a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is NOT in any category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “This is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” Also, remember that generally “said” is the best speech verb to use, and even more importantly, “stated” is no*** yada yada yada. this is what you call a review, you fuckking cunt?are you scatterbrained?you need a doctor?

——————-

Story: SPerl
Chapter: 10. Flying High

From: Guest
——————-

Dialogue is not written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, always “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence does contain a speech verb, in which case it’s written as “Hello dumbbitch.” farla grinned like an idiot, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned. Note that something is a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is NOT in any category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “This is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” Also, remember that generally “said” is the best speech verb to use, and even more importantly, “stated” is no*** yada yada yada. this is what you call a review, you fuckking cunt?

bonzai!

——————-

Story: SPerl
Chapter: 10. Flying High

From: Guest
——————-

Dialogue is not written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, always “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence does contain a speech verb, in which case it’s written as “Hello dumbbitch.” farla grinned like an idiot, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned. Note that something is a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is NOT in any category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “This is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” Also, remember that generally “said” is the best speech verb to use, and even more importantly, “stated” is no*** yada yada yada. this is what you call a review, you fuckking cunt?are you scatterbrained?

you are a crazy lunatic, get it?

——————-

Story: SPerl
Chapter: 10. Flying High

From: Guest
——————-

Dialogue is not written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, always “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence does contain a speech verb, in which case it’s written as “Hello dumbbitch.” farla grinned like an idiot, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned. Note that something is a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is NOT in any category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “This is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” Also, remember that generally “said” is the best speech verb to use, and even more importantly, “stated” is no*** yada yada yada. this is what you call a review, you fuckking cunt?are you scatterbrained?you need a doctor?

you are a /whore/

——————-

Story: SPerl
Chapter: 10. Flying High

From: Guest
——————-

Diallogue is not written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, always “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence does contain a speech verb, in which case it’s written as “Hello dumbbitch.” farla grinned like an idiot, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned. Note that something is a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is not in any category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “This is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” Also, remember that generally “said” is the best speech verb to use, and even more importantly, “stated” is no*** yada yada yada. this is what you call a review, you fuckking cunt?7

mutie boom

——————-

I would like to draw attention to the fact this time it’s “diallogue”. Does that mean they actually typed all this each time? They are a mystery wrapped in an enigma.

Story: SPerl
Chapter: 10. Flying High

From: Guest
——————-

Dialogue is not written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, always “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence does contain a speech verb, in which case it’s written as “Hello dumbbitch.” farla grinned like an idiot, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned. Note that something is a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is not in any category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “This is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” Also, remember that generally “said” is the best speech verb to use, and even more importantly, “stated” is no*** yada yada yada. this is what you call a review, you fuckking cunt?

nobody needs your advise you nasty bitch

——————-

Story: SPerl
Chapter: 10. Flying High

From: Guest
——————-

Dialogue is not written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, always “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence does contain a speech verb, in which case it’s written as “Hello dumbbitch.” farla grinned like an idiot, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned. Note that something is a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is not in any category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “This is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” Also, remember that generally “said” is the best speech verb to use, and even more importantly, “stated” is no*** yada yada yada. this is what you call a review, you fuckking cunt?

yay i am flying high

——————-

Story: Outside the Box Failures
Chapter: 1. Chapter 1

From: Guest
——————-

Dialogue is not written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said,
always “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or
“Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence
does contain a speech verb, in which case it’s written as “Hello
dumbbitch.” farla grinned like an idiot, never “Hello,” she grinned or
“Hello,” She grinned. Note that something is a speech verb just because
it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed
or giggled is not in any category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up
two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she
said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said
“This is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s
“Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” Also, remember that generally “said” is
the best speech verb to use, and even more importantly, “stated” is
no*** yada yada yada. this is what you call a review, you fuckking cunt?

hi asshole
——————-

Story: Advice for Daughters
Chapter: 3. Chapter 3

From: Guest
——————-

Dialogue is not written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said,
always “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or
“Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence
does contain a speech verb, in which case it’s written as “Hello
dumbbitch.” farla grinned like an idiot, never “Hello,” she grinned or
“Hello,” She grinned. Note that something is a speech verb just because
it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed
or giggled is not in any category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up
two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she
said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said
“This is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s
“Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” Also, remember that generally “said” is
the best speech verb to use, and even more importantly, “stated” is
no*** yada yada yada. this is what you call a review, you fuckking cunt?

how are you dumb bitch?
——————-

Story: Taikyoku
Chapter: 12. Chapter 12

From: Guest
——————-

Dialogue is not written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said,
always “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or
“Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence
does contain a speech verb, in which case it’s written as “Hello
dumbbitch.” farla grinned like an idiot, never “Hello,” she grinned or
“Hello,” She grinned. Note that something is a speech verb just because
it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed
or giggled is not in any category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up
two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she
said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said
“This is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s
“Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” Also, remember that generally “said” is
the best speech verb to use, and even more importantly, “stated” is
no*** yada yada yada. this is what you call a review, you fuckking cunt?

fuck? i am so scared.
——————-

Story: Dämmerung
Chapter: 3. Chapter 3

From: Guest
——————-

Dialogue is not written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said,
always “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or
“Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence
does contain a speech verb, in which case it’s written as “Hello
dumbbitch.” farla grinned like an idiot, never “Hello,” she grinned or
“Hello,” She grinned. Note that something is a speech verb just because
it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed
or giggled is not in any category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up
two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she
said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said
“This is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s
“Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” Also, remember that generally “said” is
the best speech verb to use, and even more importantly, “stated” is
no*** yada yada yada. this is what you call a review, you fuckking cunt?

what a piece of crap garbage story
——————-

Story: Fox Games
Chapter: 1. Chapter 1

From: Guest
——————-

Dialogue is not written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said,
always “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or
“Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence
does contain a speech verb, in which case it’s written as “Hello
dumbbitch.” farla grinned like an idiot, never “Hello,” she grinned or
“Hello,” She grinned. Note that something is a speech verb just because
it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed
or giggled is not in any category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up
two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she
said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said
“This is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s
“Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” Also, remember that generally “said” is
the best speech verb to use, and even more importantly, “stated” is
no*** yada yada yada. this is what you call a review, you fuckking cunt?

you cannot write a story for gods sake, why do you exist
——————-

Story: Fed
Chapter: 1. Chapter 1

From: Guest
——————-

Dialogue is not written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said,
always “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or
“Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence
does contain a speech verb, in which case it’s written as “Hello
dumbbitch.” farla grinned like an idiot, never “Hello,” she grinned or
“Hello,” She grinned. Note that something is a speech verb just because
it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed
or giggled is not in any category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up
two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she
said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said
“This is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s
“Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” Also, remember that generally “said” is
the best speech verb to use, and even more importantly, “stated” is
no*** yada yada yada. this is what you call a review, you fuckking cunt?

i am fed up with ur nonsesical garbag——————-

Story: Beginnings
Chapter: 1. Chapter 1

From: Guest
——————-

Dialogue is not written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said,
always “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or
“Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence
does contain a speech verb, in which case it’s written as “Hello
dumbbitch.” farla grinned like an idiot, never “Hello,” she grinned or
“Hello,” She grinned. Note that something is a speech verb just because
it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed
or giggled is not in any category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up
two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she
said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said
“This is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s
“Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” Also, remember that generally “said” is
the best speech verb to use, and even more importantly, “stated” is
no*** yada yada yada. this is what you call a review, you fuckking cunt?

start a new beginning and stop flaming other peoples stories
——————-

Story: Inheritors
Chapter: 9. Chapter 9

From: Guest
——————-

Dialogue is not written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said,
always “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or
“Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence
does contain a speech verb, in which case it’s written as “Hello
dumbbitch.” farla grinned like an idiot, never “Hello,” she grinned or
“Hello,” She grinned. Note that something is a speech verb just because
it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed
or giggled is not in any category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up
two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she
said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said
“This is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s
“Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” Also, remember that generally “said” is
the best speech verb to use, and even more importantly, “stated” is
no*** yada yada yada. this is what you call a review, you fuckking cunt?

t’not isn’t a word. you did not captialize Nidorino, did you never played the pokemon games?
——————-

They may not be the hero I deserve but they’re sure the hero I wanted!

They are summed up better than I could by my most recent reviewer:

Story: SPerl
Chapter: 10. Flying High

From: Mr. Scrint ( https://www.fanfiction.net/u/4113276/ )
——————-

These “Guest” reviews are hilarious. It’s like I’m watching a Looney Tunes cartoon, where the villain is just shaking his fist impotently at the hero and cursing in a high, squeaky voice. These deserved to be framed somewhere.

——————-

Let it be so.