Sexist bullshit continues.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10965494/1/Like-Friendly-Fire-On-Enduring-Grass

[Everyone knows how the tale goes. In Kanto, many children were considered to be grown up by the time their tenth birthdays rolled around. Kanto was a region of the world filled with many creatures, pokemon, who could be playmates, slaves, or even helpful to the planet’s nature and human’s lives.
Yeah, everyone was aware of that speech. The child would gather their things, leave home, capture these pokemon in balls, and take on any and everything that stood in their way while crafting bonds that would never be broken.
Leaf was aware, that was why she was psyched when she was finally allowed to start her journey!
She had to wait until she was eleven however]

No. Why even do this.

[she left as self destruct ready to be uttered in battle ]

Your wording is really awkward. I’d suggest getting a beta reader.

[“You’ve got Pokemon out in the open! ]

Mostly you’ve been correctly not capitalizing, but here you did.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

[Blue and Leaf cringed and lifted their heads from the table they had been snoozing on. Was this the end of his speech? Hopefully? ]

When you find yourself writing your characters falling asleep out of boredom, it’s a sign you’ve made a mistake. Yes, they don’t care. Your readers don’t either. Everyone’s seen this already. If there’s a point, you should’ve started there.

[…It was kind of a shame really, Blue noted. If they were battling, maybe all of the wind from their pokemon leaping around would lift that skirt of hers.  ]

You said they’ve both eleven. NO.

And now it’s the obligatory training of the new pokemon.

Look, you have one interesting bit here, which is that she accidentally picked a pokemon she thinks is lame. She then rambles about how lame everything is, which isn’t interesting to listen to, or screws up in obvious ways.

[It’s better than making her a whore just because of her short skirt, I guess. Am I right? ]

You’re an asshole.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10965530/1/The-Scuffle-of-Legends

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

Paragraphing has rules. You start a new paragraph with a new subject. The goal is not to divide your story up into even blocks. Also, a new speaker means you start a new paragraph.

Semicolons do not indicate sophisticated or intelligent writing, even when grammatically correct. Use sentence-connecting semicolons sparingly, judiciously, and only when the ideas in the clauses are inseparable. If you have a semicolon sitting between a pair of sentences because the sentences are kind of, sort of related, it just makes you look pretentious.

This is far too short for a first chapter.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10965604/1/I-Want-Someone-Who-Cares

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Use spellcheck.

Semicolons do not indicate sophisticated or intelligent writing, even when grammatically correct. Use sentence-connecting semicolons sparingly, judiciously, and only when the ideas in the clauses are inseparable. If you have a semicolon sitting between a pair of sentences because the sentences are kind of, sort of related, it just makes you look pretentious.

[The man cried, “No! That did not happen in the wild! That was-” He paused, realizing he had just painted a very bad image for himself.
Aaron, still grinning, picked up Gardevoir carefully in his arms. “Sorry, looks a lot like a wild to me.]

Also, this all seems like it’s to make Aaron look good rather than him actually being a good person. This guy’s abusing his pokemon and one’s run away. The consequences for this are that he loses the one who ran away and can keep doing whatever he feels like to any other pokemon he has or gets. And conveniently, Gardevoir isn’t concerned about that at all either, she just wants to belong to him now.

[(To Farla: could you just say what you thought of the story? If you want to do your grammar analysis, please send it as a PM. Thanks!) ]

Nope. If you’ve seen my other reviews you shouldn’t have been wasting my time by needing to be told here in the first place.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10965645/1/The-best-day-of-my-life

Capitalize your title properly.

Don’t center all your text.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

One.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10965692/1/Silver

[“Blah”-speech
“(blah)”-thought
“blah”-telepathy ]

Nope! If you must mark thoughts, italics is standard, otherwise no markings and just say they’re thoughts. Double marked is absurd. And telepathy being marked identically to speech is a terrible idea.

[Name: Satoru Yasui
Species: Eevee
Gender: Male
Age: 10 (human) years old
Personality: INFP-Idealist
Height: 10 inches
Weight: 13.4 pounds ]

You should never do this. Anything relevant should come up in the story, anything irrelevant you shouldn’t be wasting people’s time on.

Paragraphing has rules. You start a new paragraph with a new subject. The goal is not to divide your story up into even blocks. Also, a new speaker means you start a new paragraph.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

Don’t ask for OCs. Doesn’t work well. If you’ve got a story, design characters to fit it, if you don’t, you need to start over.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10965694/1/Seasons-and-Storms

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

Paragraphing has rules. You start a new paragraph with a new subject. The goal is not to divide your story up into even blocks. Also, a new speaker means you start a new paragraph.

Your story is generally horrible. Try harder.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10965770/1/Climbing-Ledges

[ The residents of Pallet Town so much revered these trainers that all others paled in comparison to them. I was a mere week from beginning my own journey, but it seemed as if my departure was the equivalent of an ant being scraped off of a shoe. It seemed only my mother and my friend Darren – although I wouldn’t exactly call him a friend – even knew I was leaving in the first place. ]

So your character is throwing a temper tantrum that the whole town isn’t paying attention to them and only the people who actually know them seem to care. How hard their life must be.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Semicolons do not indicate sophisticated or intelligent writing, even when grammatically correct. Use sentence-connecting semicolons sparingly, judiciously, and only when the ideas in the clauses are inseparable. If you have a semicolon sitting between a pair of sentences because the sentences are kind of, sort of related, it just makes you look pretentious.

[“It’s an Abra. Like the yellow Pokéranger! We’re gonna compete together.” ]

No, because abra start off with no attacking moves and are glass cannons even when they finally learn some, making them a terrible, terrible starter.

[While I insisted on a Machop or something of the like, she wouldn’t accept it. ]

Machop are found in many areas, jigglypuff is found in one. Plus they’re used for construction, so there’s likely a decent captured population.

It’s nice that your character wants a reasonable starter, but the idea getting one is a huge production makes no sense and seems like it’s just there so you could cram more whining in.

And now random ransom letter.

[and immediately noticed the second thing.
A poké ball.
Right there, in the open, belonging to no one]

This doesn’t even make sense outside of RPGs where the act of walking into someone’s house means you can steal everything not nailed down.

[This was the perfect opportunity. At least, I was naïve enough to believe that. But I was a kid, what more was I going to think? ]

No, I have to say that even for a kid this is total bullshit. Plenty of people may daydream about getting a chance to be a hero, but no, even people who are assholes at least have a decent enough grasp of reality to not hide a ransom note so they’ll get to save the day at something they’ve never even done before.

Your character doesn’t look prideful before a fall, you just look like you can’t plot properly.

And then they run home without even seeing what pokemon it is, when for all they know it’s a magikarp or the jigglypuff they hate so much.

[well, he was robbed a few days ago, and the Jigglypuff I ordered was taken.”
‘Thank Arceus!’
“That’s… hm. Too bad.” I sighed silently and stood up. “I get it, though. I can wait a bit longer.”
My mom finally looked up at me with hopeful blue eyes. “Really? I’m glad to hear that, dear! Because the Happiny I ordered should be here within the end of the year! I know you were holding out for something tougher, but…”]

Similarly, this continues to be nonsense. Machop is impossible but happiny is no problem? Worthless in battle insanely hard to get happiny, really?

If their mom’s poor, she might only be able to get a rattata or pidgey, and that would make sense for someone, especially a whiner like your main character, to be unhappy about.

[The poké ball was completely empty. ]

Again: if it’s not a mistake it makes any sense for a person to make, you aren’t writing a flawed character, you’re just plotting very badly. This story is just your character lurching about to your whims, so there’s really no suspense. You’ve made it clear that whatever happens next will be whatever you feel like regardless of if it makes sense.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10965791/1/Switched

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

Eight.

That finishes Jan 11th! I’m so far behind.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10965837/1/The-beginning-of-an-epic-Truth-or-Dare

Don’t post things that aren’t stories as chapters.

Seven.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10966058/1/Pokemon-Ranger-Shadows-Have-Fallen

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10966249/1/observation

Semicolons do not indicate sophisticated or intelligent writing, even when grammatically correct. Use sentence-connecting semicolons sparingly, judiciously, and only when the ideas in the clauses are inseparable. If you have a semicolon sitting between a pair of sentences because the sentences are kind of, sort of related, it just makes you look pretentious.

And there as in general, looking pretentious and actually writing well are different things.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10966299/1/The-Adventures-of-Max

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Being a trainer and catching pokemon are not automatically interesting. You need an actual plot.

Four.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10966421/1/Hunters

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

[Jack let out a sigh and fought the urge to facepalm. He could already tell that Rex was stupid when he let him in the shack without any sort of verification to see if he was telling the truth or not about delivering a message from his brother. However, he hadn’t expected this much despite knowing how dim most outlaws tended to be.
“Listen,” Jack started, hoping to get this over with as soon as possible. “My name is Jack Brenson. I’m with the Pokémon Bounty Hunting Services and you’re a wanted fugitive with a price on your head. I’m taking you to the police, so please just make it easy and come along quickly.”
It took Rex a few moments to process what Jack had said to him, but when it finally hit him, Rex’s eyes widened and he stumbled back a few steps, nearly losing his balance before he decided to act.
“Hey!” he shouted at the sleeping Pokémon. “Wake your asses up and kill this guy!”
Almost immediately, Jack was nearly struck by the poison tail of the Seviper. He moved out of the way in time, but the swift and sudden motion caused him to trip back. He landed on the floor and quickly whistled for Stoutland while Rex’s Skorupi was covering the floor in toxic spikes. It was only seconds later before the dog Pokémon arrived and yanked Seviper off of his trainer with his teeth. ]

Jack seems a lot dumber than Rex.

Here he’s claiming that the criminal he needs to get to the police is an idiot, and as evidence, the guy hasn’t realized the cuffs were to arrest him. Instead of using the fact the guy is an idiot who’ll believe whatever he’s told to get him away from the pile of dangerous pokemon Jack just literally stepped over to get into the room, he explains that no he’s here to arrest Rex, then stands there waiting for Rex to work that one out, then keeps waiting for Rex to decide what to do despite it being blindingly obvious that it’d be “order the pile of dangerous pokemon to attack”.

Not only goes he nearly get killed, but in the chaos the guy runs off and he has to chase him down again. Jack is completely incompetent.

[Officer Graft was the real troublesome one. He was tall and lean with sharp features and often carried the most infuriating smirk that Jack had ever seen. He was semi-competent, but his arrogance and condescending attitude was unmatched.  ]

So basically Jack.

[The three of them were among the best specialized bounty hunters in the organization and Jack marveled at the possibility of the commander granting them independent status. Independent hunters we’re allowed to go after any wanted fugitive of any rank without permission from a commander, were able to use whatever Pokémon they liked when tracking outlaws, and most importantly to Jack, got to keep all of their money from captures. ]

If the best status means you no longer give the organization any money, why would the organization have any reason to grant it, and how does it even make sense to be a member? Either the organization gives them support of some kind, in which case it needs a cut of the money just to keep running, or it doesn’t and there’s no reason to be a part of it in which case it’s just there to leech them of money and has no reason to stop.

Blocked!

Seven.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10966567/1/Pok%C3%A9mon-Question-Extravaganza

Script format continues to be banned.

One.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10966756/1/The-father

Capitalize your title properly.

Write out numbers with letters.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

One.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10966936/1/Don-t-You-Ever-Forget

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

Your capitalization is a godawful mess. Names get capitalized, random words don’t. Also, it’s “I’m”.

Don’t label flashbacks.

[Unless it was those stupid “fangirls” of all were just sluts trying to get into his pants though. ]

Christ, what is wrong with you.

One.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10966944/1/Poké-Wars-The-Lapidescence-Subsistence-Redux

I think I reviewed something of theirs before and just ugh this is painful to look at.

Thirteen.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10967287/1/One-Step-Further

Write out numbers with letters.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

[Not that he did that often. Taking breaks, not training. He trained a lot. A lot a lot. Even the other Riolu on the island, not that there were that many, trained as much or as hard as he did.]

Proofreading is important. Here, your last sentence is the opposite of what you meant.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

Well, this is different. I thought it was building toward Owyn finding a trainer, especially once mega evolution was brought in, and I like that instead he’s off to figure out a way to do it himself, all existing science be damned. Also how reasonable the trainers are being about the whole random boat riolu. It’s always nice when non-main-character trainers have more to them than just autocatching any halfway rare pokemon in their line of sight.

One.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10967424/1/Journey-of-the-Chosen-One

[“hi” – human speech
“hi”- pokemon talking (non-translated)
“hi” pokemon speech (translated)
‘hi’- thought ]

If it’s non-translated, it shouldn’t get its own entry in the key or be bolded, because it’s just the pokemon saying its name as we say words. Also, don’t put thoughts in quotes at all, it makes it look like it’s being spoken. Thoughts should be clear from context, or if you really must, bold translated pokemon speech and make thoughts italic.

Write out numbers with letters.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

Paragraphing has rules. You start a new paragraph with a new subject. The goal is not to divide your story up into even blocks. Also, a new speaker means you start a new paragraph.

[“Why are you attacking this human?!”, the houndour roared angrily.
“Why are you defending this puny human? Humans are a threat! They enslave our kind, with no remorse! Force our brethren to fight each other!”, the beedrill responded.
“Maybe so,” the houndour said, “But surely not all human are bad, this one is just an infant. It doesn’t even know right from wrong.  This child could become the savior of pokemon for all we know.  ]

But statistically it’s probably just going to grow up into another jerk. The beedrill isn’t necessarily saying this kid has committed crimes, it’s saying that their two species are locked in a death match and this is self-defense.

Look, if you want friendly houndour, you’re much better off with the houndour just helping a lost baby home. What you have here is more like a pokemon just knowing human lives are so much more important than pokemon that it’s morally right to burn other pokemon to death in defense of a human on the basis that possibly not all humans are bad – I mean seriously your houndour apparently has run into zero non-bad humans going from what he just said, and he’s still willing to kill and/or die to defend the kid’s life.

[” Are you alright, infant?”, the houndour asked.
“Hound houndour”, this human responded.
The houndour was shocked. ‘Can this human really speak my language? Can he truly be special?’.]

The houndour also looks like an idiot because, given that’s not translated, from what you wrote it looks like the kid was just repeating the sounds the silly doggy made.

Two.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10967594/1/Thick-Accents

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

One.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10967598/1/Maiko-Kobayashi-s-new-adventure

Don’t ask for OCs and don’t post things that aren’t stories.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10967848/1/The-Return-of-the-Hero-s-Light

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

Paragraphing has rules. You start a new paragraph with a new subject. The goal is not to divide your story up into even blocks. Also, a new speaker means you start a new paragraph.

Write out numbers with letters.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Three.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10967870/1/The-War-of-Darkness-and-Light

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

[“What’s a suicide mission?” The soldier asks, showing how young he really is.]

Suicide mission is one of those things that has the answer right there in the words. It’s a mission that is suicide. Unless this guy is five and doesn’t know what suicide is, he should be able to work it out from context.

[“I can’t beat you in a fight, but I can kill you easily!” The commander dropped a ball on the ground, kneeled, and whispered “Goodbye Rosaline” Seconds later the ball exploded in lightning, the bolts could be scene from miles away. When the lightning faded, the mountain was nothing but a crater, and Yveltal’s charred corpse lay on the ground, beside her were charred bones and armor from the commander. ]

You know what’s have been more productive? Killing King Crazy McWar.

Don’t ask for OCs. You should make up characters to fit the story you have.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10967928/1/Aventurine

[“I don’t need help getting out of the car, mom,” ]

Like with pokemon, if you’ve using it in place of a name, it’s Mom.

“Its” is possessive, “it’s” means “it is.”

Well. You actually did something new with the game opening! I was getting convinced that was impossible. And you also have a wonderful explanation for why she only just gets a pokemon now. I also appreciate the story being told chronologically rather than a traumatic memory flashback.

[She jogged off in the direction of the faint yelling she can here in the distance. By the time she reached the source of the noise, she was disappointingly out of breath. I guess sitting around all day doesn’t really do wonders for my physical fitness. ]

Plus this is a good detail, and I hope her inexperience with outdoor life will keep being an issue for a bit as she gets used to being a trainer.

Two.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10968186/1/The-Confession-of-a-Lab-Assistant

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Write out numbers with letters.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

[(At The Healing Room.) ]

Write actual scene transitions.

[She took a good care of me and I reciprocated my actions to her.” ]

I get the impression you don’t know what “reciprocated” means.

Really, a lot of your wording varies from kind of off to totally wrong. If you’re not a native speaker, I’d strongly suggest finding someone who is to beta read for you.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10968365/1/The-Sound-of-My-Tears

This is pure melodramatic cliché.

Seriously this is basically the first chapter of the wangsty Unoriginality.

Four, because there is a reason people keep writing it.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10968522/1/Moving-Forward

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Seven.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10968608/1/Natural-Selection

[an aromatic saliva. ]
[sipping the spittle. ]

Don’t think this is good word choice. It makes it immediately obvious what’s up. More neutral words like “fluid” would be better, as would “nectar”. It also makes it sound less weird to talk about the scatterbug finding it appealing.

I like the little plot of this one, though – venus flytraps are great and carnivine deserve more screentime.

Three.

And than finishes Jan 12th, thank god. One more push to try to get to the top of page 3 and then bed.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10968638/1/Umbreons-Adventures-Of-Darkness

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

Your grammar is generally awful. Proofread better and get a beta reader.

Espeon are really rare, so the odds of one running across an also-rare eevee is small. I’d suggest it being a different psychic type that prompts the evolution.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10968788/1/Tonight

You open in present tense and then the rest of this is in past tense.

[His gaze was, at first, alarming. Time had passed and she had begun to wonder if he was still even in Hoenn.  ]

This is just confusing. Is she alarmed because time passed? Because she was wondering if he might possibly be gone? I could see being alarmed if she wasn’t expecting him to still be in Hoenn, but “had begun to wonder” means she’s pretty sure he’s still there.

[She thought she might sink onto the floorboards ]

The train has floorboards?

[A soft I hope you’re well flew from the coop of his lips. ]

This all really seems like it’s more focused on trying to sound different than communicating actual meaning.

One.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10968812/1/The-First-Dex-Carrier

[Bolded = Memory/Flashbacks, Plot jumps, Author’s Notes]

So basically you’re bolding all the stuff that you failed to integrate properly or that should never have been put in your story at all.

Well, at least you’re not sticking quotation marks on thoughts.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

[“My goodness a new species!” shouted the Professor with a giddy smile on his face. He had begun to run over with his notebook before an arm grabbed him.
“Hahaha…Oak, that’s not a new species of Pokemon!” laughed the man from the greeting party. “They’re called Hariyama and they’re from the Hoenn region.]

See, this just makes Oak look incompetent if he can’t even recognize a pokemon that’s commonly known. And if it’s some sort of secret, then yeah, it’s a new species in the scientific sense that it’s unrecorded.

[The well dressed man sweatdropped. ]

That’s a visual shorthand used to communicate how a drawn character is feeling because it isn’t a written story and the author can’t just write how the character’s feeling. This is text, however, so you should’ve just written how the character felt.

[I knew that Elm said that new Pokemon were discovered here in Johto and Dave had mentioned more seen in Hoenn, but this shoots my idea of 150 kinds existing in the world out the window.  ]

Again, this just makes him sound incompetent.

[The receptionist giggled and said, “Amazing isn’t it? These are pokemon that help us and come from all over the world. We know that most of the public doesn’t know about all the Pokemon that haven’t been recorded yet so we keep them only around our secluded work areas. They all live in a unique breeding program that we have to keep them healthy, happy, and well fed. Once they’ve worked a minimum of two years, we give our Pokemon the option of being released or put up for adoption to loving trainers or families.” ]

Nothing you just said makes sense.

How do they have access to them if no one else does?

Why don’t they solve the problem of how “most of the public doesn’t know about all the Pokemon that haven’t been recorded yet” (as opposed to some of the public who do know about unrecorded pokemon?) by just recording them? Why would the solution be to hide them?

And [They all live in a unique breeding program that we have to keep them healthy, happy, and well fed.]? A “breeding program” is the thing you do to breed more of them. This appears to have nothing to do with that they mean, and if anything it sounds like the company’s actively preventing any new babies.

And then once they’ve trained them to work over two years, they either dump them back in the wild or give them to someone else, even if the pokemon preferred working there? Why would this seem like a good idea? Why would Oak think this was “impressive” and not “insane or exploitative”? Because this sounds like exactly the same pattern as companies that keep animals during their peak usefulness and then dump them, it’s the opposite of considerate. Doesn’t the fact they’re presenting the reward for two years of service being a boot out the door make it sound like it actually isn’t that great?

[ It is a tradition in our family that certain ‘gifted’ males of our family  ]

Oh look it’s sexism. Wow. I’m sure that was included for really the very best reasons.

Rather like the gardevoir story, this seems like one where the author only cares about making the character look good.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10968903/1/A-New-Beginning

Write out numbers with letters.

Paragraphing has rules. You start a new paragraph with a new subject. The goal is not to divide your story up into even blocks. Also, a new speaker means you start a new paragraph.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10968980/1/The-Torture

This just seems like nonsensical gore.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10968997/1/Hero-s-destiny

Write out numbers with letters.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

Songfic’s banned, and with good reason because stealing a better writer’s lyrics for chunks of your fic is terrible.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10969085/1/The-Dream-of-Becoming-The-Very-Best

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Opening your story with a character waking up for the day is generic and horribly, horribly overdone, and to be honest, it’s so incredibly dull and boring a start that even if I hadn’t seen it, very literally here, hundreds upon hundreds of times before, I would still tell you you should have started at some other, interesting point. Also, no one will ever care what your character is eating for breakfast.

Swear I’ve seen this one already.

Three.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10969392/1/Shocking-Finale

Script format’s banned.

“Your” is possessive, “you’re” is short for “you are”.

One.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10969567/1/pokemon-master-edition

Capitalize your title properly.

It’s “canon”.

Write out numbers with letters.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

Spellcheck.

Zero.