Apparently people are really into posting random bits of their stories as stand-alone things these days.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12321200/1/All-that-Glitters-is-not-Gold

[ She’d never been on a fancy boat before, and she really wanted to show off her Pokemon !]

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things – or used in place of one, like “mom” can be. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Also, don’t put spaces in front of punctuation, only after.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

[Of course, she left Popplio in a Pokeball in her bag. Popplio was … special, she supposed, and it didn’t feel right to let out her starter in such a crowded room where absolutely nobody would know what she was.]

So she’s here to show off her pokemon, but she doesn’t want to show off the most interesting one she has, because people might notice? And for some reason she does this by taking the pokeball off her belt and hiding it even though all pokeballs look identical and no one would know?

[and the Rocket sees feet to throw her]

What?

[No, she … she needed to get off the ship. And if not her, then Popplio and the egg.]

If the point of all that convolution about what pokemon she has out was to set it up so Popplio would be the only one to make it out, then it’d have worked far better to do it the other way around. If only Popplio had been out during the attack and the rest were still in their pokeballs, then Popplio could’ve escaped while the other were sucked up.

“Its” is the possessive form. “It’s” means “it is” only.

[Forced to pull the egg out of it’s containment(the incubator was too big and bulky for her to carry, really), Popplio dives into the water, egg held in her flippers.]

Then why not just keep it in the bag? It’s not like a dying kid needs it and it’d be so much easier for Popplio to hold onto.

[She’s slower than usual, and it’s hard to control where she’s going, but she can’t just leave it. It’d practically been Amber’s dying wish, but even if it hadn’t been, her morals would’ve left her with no choice.]

It’s really weird that you’re treating human orders as the primary reason a pokemon doesn’t want to leave a pokemon egg to die.

[listen if you expected better written blood and gore then ur out of luck buddy because im generally awful at writing lmao ? though i do suppose this is written better than the main fic somehow because fuck me

do u know how much id give not to have this in the ‘recently updated’ section of pokemon tho,,,,, ]

Groveling and flagellating yourself as if apologizing hard enough for existing means no one else will say anything mean is a failed errand. Take the energy you’re putting into sobbing about how awful and sorry you are and use it to look up how to write properly in the first place.

[anyways, these are just snippets from my au fic, ‘storms’. if u havent read that yet, go do it ! its just a rewrite of ash’s journey except im starting to mix things up in the later chapters ?]

If something’s part of a different story, it should be in that story, not separate. What you have right now is a story that doesn’t go anywhere – a bunch of things happen, and then it ends. That’s acceptable as backstory to set up something else, but it doesn’t work by itself.

Fucking tumblr.

One review.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12321421/1/A-Story-on-Life

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things – or used in place of one, like “mom” can be. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

Don’t add spaces in your ellipsis.

Paragraphing has rules. You start a new paragraph with a new subject. The goal is not to divide your story up into even blocks. Also, a new speaker means you start a new paragraph.

Write out numbers with letters.

One, which is over the top to the point it reads like sarcasm.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12321429/1/Pokemon-Avenir

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things – or used in place of one, like “mom” can be. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

Copying the opening of the Hoenn games adds nothing.

[Nyla was a certified trainer, but since she lacked Pokemon, she knew better than to step into the wild grass. (Though why she was a trainer with no Pokemon was a mystery.) ]

Your story should explain itself coherently, not point out its own plot holes.

[ “Even if I did beg, I’d get jack from it.” ]

There are many other ways to get a pokemon than asking parents for one. If anything, it’s more likely parents can block kids from getting licenses.

If anything, it’s more likely parents can block kids from getting licenses.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12321438/1/Lillie-s-Farting-Predicament

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things – or used in place of one, like “mom” can be. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

One.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12321714/1/Electrical-Pok%C3%A9mon

Opening your story with a character waking up for the day is generic and horribly, horribly overdone, and to be honest, it’s so incredibly dull and boring a start that even if I hadn’t seen it, very literally here, thousands upon thousands of times before, I would still tell you you should have started at some other, interesting point.

Paragraphing has rules. You start a new paragraph with a new subject. The goal is not to divide your story up into even blocks. Also, a new speaker means you start a new paragraph.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things – or used in place of one, like “mom” can be. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

[I didn’t have friends, I used to but I stopped been friends with them ’cause they were friends with me only because of my family.]

It’s pretty hard to believe that this would be true at seven years old.

[There was only one best friend that was with me not because my family.]

Also, if the very next line explains she does have a friend, then edit so your story isn’t an incoherent ramble.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12321869/1/Battle-for-Oblivia

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things – or used in place of one, like “mom” can be. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

[You will not find out reading the Prologue, reader.]

This isn’t a prologue. It’s a vague, boring blurb about your story. A prologue would involve actual story content.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12321869/2/Battle-for-Oblivia

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

Events happening without any reason or point to them do not make a story.

Seven, mostly a confused person trying to make sense of how awful this is.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12321900/1/Pokemon-XYZ-Legendkids

[A land that would be called the Kalos Region, after her oldest son, Arceus Kalos Legendkid.]

It is really impossible to take anything seriously when the names are this astoundingly awful.

Write out numbers with letters.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things – or used in place of one, like “mom” can be. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

[Dylan had changed out of the simple white shirt and blue pants that he had been wearing while cooking with Brock. He now wore a red-and-white cap with a green flap over his short brown hair and was also wearing a lime green-and-black short-sleeved hoodie with white pockets over a green t-shirt that was the same shade as his hoodie. He was also wearing black pants and green-and-white sneakers. The pendant on his Legendnecklace was visible on his t-shirt which was shown through his partly opened coat, showing the legendry’s of the Kanto region, Zapdos, Articuno, Moltress, Lugia, and Mew. Over his green and white fingerless gloves, he wore a ring which had an image of Mewtwo(a Pokémon cloned from Mew’s genes) engraved on the purple stone that the ring held.

The second brother, Xatu Hank was busily struggling with his partner Meganium. He wore a black-and-blue hat over his brown-red hair and wore a silver, black, green and red coat that went down to his knees over a white t-shirt and wore light grey pants with black-and-grey boots. His Legendnecklace was over his coat, showing the legendary dogs,(Entei, Riokai, and Suicune) and Ho-oh, along with Latios and Latias, showing that he traveled in the Johto region.]

Stories should have plots. Enormous lists of every boring item your characters wear is not plot. People exchanging banal, generic pleasantries also is not plot.

Three – criticism, “Two words: Mary Sue.”, and author asking what a sue is.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12321916/1/Pokemon-The-Milky-Way-Series-Book-1

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things – or used in place of one, like “mom” can be. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

“Its” is the possessive form. “It’s” means “it is” only.

Random battles with no point or consequence aren’t inherently interesting, and they’re outright boring when they’re simply someone shouting an order and then narration saying the pokemon did the thing.

[“It says here that Chris Mandel is part of a group called Team Meanies,” said Abbie looking up info on the computer.]

Yeah, I should probably just stop reading at this point.

One.