In which a great many trainers wake up. Also, IRL internet tough guy pokemorph getting into a fight with those mean jocks at college.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11744023/1/Lucark-War-Lucarios-vs-Zoroarks

Write out numbers with letters.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

[I’d say it was pretty scary to see most of my friends die, truly. ]

I’d say your character sounds like a sociopath.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11744056/1/Parallel-Colors

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

[It began with our names being complementary colors. ]

Okay, so I know you’re referring to the actual color theory and all, but the fact is, if you’re saying something is complementary over and over, it really doesn’t sound like they’re people who can’t get along, it sounds like they’d complement each other.

[My crimson remain on the floor as he wishes me good luck. ]

Eyes?

[Just…just if…my name wasn’t Red and his name wasn’t Green… perhaps we could have been friends. ]

No, that’s pretty crazy.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11744064/1/Pokemon-Reset-Bloodlines-Johanna-Gaiden

[Due to recent communications between Jubilife Medical Center and your insurance company, we have come to the revelation that your father, Lucas Berlitz, and mother, Ayoko Berlitz nee Platinum, are not covered under government and familiar insurance policies, due to your father’s period of smoking between his 20th and 35thyear of life, and your mother’s asthma. As such, further medical care for them will be suspended within the next 72 hours unless a payment of at least 300,000 is paid. In addition, the next surgery to be attempted on the patients will require an addition 100,000 dollars to perform.  ]

Okay, so the basic setting is one where enormous numbers of pokemon are not only healed for free, but their owners are then given free food and a place to stay. Even if we assume that pokemon centers get some special treatment due to how important pokemon everything seems to be for the people, it’s unlikely that you’d get a divide of totally free for nonhumans/massive price gouging for humans.

And Japan has universal health care where you explicitly cannot deny people coverage for any reason, let alone asthma, so trying to look to the real world just reinforces this. Then consider that the pokemon world is full of people with pet building-leveling monsters and you see there’s also a very practical reason to want to avoid the sort of reactions you usually get by telling people that they need to pay several hundred thousand dollars in a few days or their family dies. America can get away with this because blowing up hospitals and/or insurance companies is difficult and requires being able to build bombs and stuff.

It really doesn’t make sense for them however you look at it.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

[Contest performances did earn a person money: even passing the first round of a contest could feed a Coordinator for several months, and just entering one and not sucking or cheating could pay for food for a few weeks. ]
[But this would be the first time she ever was in the position of the coordinator who had a do or die contest performance to perform. If she won, she’d be able to save her parents lives and fund at least two more surgeries for them both. ]

Okay now this is making even less sense. Why would winning get her half a million dollars? Why doesn’t she already have a reasonable backlog of money from placing well previously, given just not completely sucking apparently is enough to live on for months and she’s apparently a star? Why would something flooded with people doing it for love of contests to the point they have multiple filtering processes even pay out poverty level wages? What happened to their economy?

All of this would make so much more sense if it wasn’t a huge sum of money in the first place – copays are a thing too, it isn’t as if insurance is always or even often going to cover all of it.

Stop using colons everywhere.

[“U.T.P huh….” Johanna muttered to herself “Unovan Rational Pride? Understanding Reality Portals? Ultimate Tortellini Preparation? Unique Trainer Profilers? Ultimate Trainer Project? Ultimate Tomorrow Premiers? Unsettling Top-Secret Patronage?” ]

If your story ends with bringing up a lot of questions it isn’t going to get into, then it really isn’t a one-shot. It’s a chunk of another story you tore out to post separately and then mislabeled.

Three.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11744175/1/A-Tasteful-First-Date

You should absolutely not post random something happening in the middle of a long-running story separately, especially when it revolves around an OC of all things.

You also probably shouldn’t have made up a ship name for your OC/’CC because that’s just tacky as hell.

One.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11744178/1/Gentenology

Spellcheck and proofread next time.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Zero. Also, possibly bandwagon jumping onto the ancient text translation thing? Kinda confused.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11744181/1/The-Journey-Ahead

Your title is painfully generic. Unless your story actually has nothing but the bog-standard pokemon journey, your title should have more to it than that it’s about a trainer.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

Starting a story with your character waking up is terribly overdone and was boring the first time.

[my moms yelling. ]

Apostrophe for possessive.

Don’t swap between first person POVs like that.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

[“Hello Rebecca.” I said leering at her.]

You should double-check the connotation of “leer”.

Write out numbers with letters.

Spellcheck.

[Well as far as first chapters go I think that went rather well ]

Not really, no.

Your character’s motivations are boring – like everyone, she just wants to be the best and also outdo hated rival cutout while she’s at it. Your opening isn’t just similar to the anime’s late start but also the millions of fanfic that followed. Then after all this, your chapter just ends, having failed to say anything new or suggest there’s any actual plot to this story.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11744181/2/The-Journey-Ahead

The second chapter is just you doing all the things you shouldn’t do in a first chapter again, but this time with a different character. That’s even worse than usual.

WHY

One, crit.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11744211/1/Red-eyes

Capitalize your title properly.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

[a group of other Aron, Makuhita, Zubats, Geodudes, Mawhile ]

Plural forms for all or for none, mixing them was the worst option.

Also, mawile.

Write out numbers with letters.

“i didnt”

Proofread.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11744421/1/What-Are-Pokemon-To-You

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Write out numbers with letters.

[Volkner had lost his place at the University. The matter in itself received many different reactions. The professors and staff members were regretful that they had to lose such a promising student, but his classmates were more than happy to see him go, not liking that a ten-year-old was outshining their twentyish old selves.  ]

Is this really necessary.

One, crit.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11744460/1/The-College-Outcast

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

You really should not have piles of dialogue saying nothing at all.

Write out numbers with letters.

“It’s” means “it is”. “Its” is the possessive form.

It’s “okay”, four letters.

[Just then the jocks of the cafeteria walked over.
“Well this is cute the freak and the nerd getting along,” the one on the left said.]

IT’S COLLEGE.

[“Well I could be on the front lines protecting your stuck up ass with a mortar pointed at my head, but my service ended and I wanted to get out of my house so even if I’m not active military I can still run you in for assaulting a government official so I’d chose your actions carefully if I were you,” I say. ]

Internet tough guy posturing doesn’t make sense coming out of anyone’s mouth in real life. Making it come out of your protagonist’s mouth is an even worse decision.

And here we’re reminded that even if it seems like things shifting from high school to college AU was an improvement because the latter setting works better, there’s the problem that now tiny baby writers are drawing from their school life and calling it college.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11744495/1/Closer

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

“Your” is possessive, “you’re” is short for “you are”.

This really shouldn’t be all there is of your first chapter. If you’re going somewhere with this, get to it. All that’s here is recap everyone’s familiar with.

One.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11744570/1/Learning-With-Pokemon-Taking-A-Joke

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

People talking about nothing interesting isn’t interesting.

Two, crit.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11744655/1/Sleepover-at-Fennekin-s

Paragraphing has rules. You start a new paragraph with a new subject. The goal is not to divide your story up into even blocks. Also, a new speaker means you start a new paragraph.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

[the fox Pokemon ]

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

One, author.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11744799/1/Why-You-Shouldn-t-Let-Mew-Have-Sugar

Sugar high legendaries was a terribly boring joke to start with, I don’t know why you thought that it’d be more funny after it was done to death.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Paragraphing has rules. You start a new paragraph with a new subject. The goal is not to divide your story up into even blocks. Also, a new speaker means you start a new paragraph.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

One.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11744805/1/Home-Sweet-Home

Write out numbers with letters.

Paragraphing has rules. You start a new paragraph with a new subject. The goal is not to divide your story up into even blocks. Also, a new speaker means you start a new paragraph.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

One, crit.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11745432/1/Pokemon-RGBY-the-Series

[This is pretty much the summary and outline of the fanfic. I would love some feedback about what you think so far ]

It’s that posting nonstory chapters are banned and that this is for the good reason of it being is a waste of everyone’s time.

Two, one crit.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11745490/1/My-Pokemon-Journey

Unless your story actually is generic crap with absolutely nothing to distinguish it from every other OT fic, your title should be more than just saying it’s about a pokemon journey.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

Write out numbers with letters.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

“It’s” means “it is”. “Its” is the possessive form.

It’s “okay”, four letters.

Starting a story with characters waking up is terribly overdone and was boring the first time. If you have a plot, get to it already instead of wasting time.

One, crit.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11745504/1/Aaron-s-Pokemon-Journey

Unless your story actually is generic crap with absolutely nothing to distinguish it from every other OT fic, your title should be more than just saying it’s about a pokemon journey.

Starting a story with your character waking up is terribly overdone and was boring the first time.

[At ge 14 Aaron was 5’9″ ]

Proofread.

[He was somewhat fit but by no means out of shape. ]

And think about what you’re saying.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

[Professor Johnson had offered twelve Pokemon. Charmander, Squirtle, Bulbasaur, Eevee, Pikachu, Machop, Wynaut, Meowth, Cubone, Zubat, Koffing, and Absol. Aaron was lucky to get Absol.  ]

I would dispute that and just call him a sue.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

Write out numbers with letters.

Two, crit.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11745669/1/Adventure-in-Starland-Pokemon

Starting a story with your character waking up is terribly overdone and was boring the first time.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

Paragraphing has rules. You start a new paragraph with a new subject. The goal is not to divide your story up into even blocks. Also, a new speaker means you start a new paragraph.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

One, crit.

Currently hovering at the bottom of the first page. Let’s see if I can hit the top tomorrow.