Finally making progress catching up.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10986019/1/The-Legend-Trainer
If the only purpose of something is to jack off to it, it’s porn. Don’t post it as “K”.
This doesn’t even have the usual justification that everyone keeps their clothes on, given the loving description of spanking naked child butt.
One.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10986083/1/The-Best-Trip-Ever-Revised
Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.
Paragraphing has rules. You start a new paragraph with a new subject. The goal is not to divide your story up into even blocks. Also, a new speaker means you start a new paragraph.
You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.
One.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10985971/1/A-Mad-Game-A-pokemon-Y-nuzlocke
[3 Am. ]
3:00 AM is how it should be written.
Three paragraphs is way too short for a first chapter. This should be on top of the rest of your story, not posted separately.
Two.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10986152/1/Den-tal-Disaster
Write out “and”.
Write out numbers with letters.
Semicolons do not indicate sophisticated or intelligent writing, even when grammatically correct. Use sentence-connecting semicolons sparingly, judiciously, and only when the ideas in the clauses are inseparable. If you have a semicolon sitting between a pair of sentences because the sentences are kind of, sort of related, it just makes you look pretentious.
You don’t need for everyone to do a roll call. Also, stop using “states”.
You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.
Zero.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10986210/1/Wishing-on-earth
Got this person already.
Zero.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10986232/1/The-Light-Ball
Hm. Well, it’s an explanation that works and fits the data, and you certainly did your best to sell Ash’s reasoning. Shame it still looks stupid to do and the light ball storage is just asking for a disaster to wipe out their work permanently.
Five.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10986301/1/A-Ninetale-s-Tragedy
Write out numbers with letters.
[Enya evolved at the age of 19 in other words,Late. A vulpix was supposed to evolve at the age of 16, and evolving at 19 was disgraceful ]
Yeah, this would probably work better with a pokemon that actually can evolve on its own and not a stone evolution. Almost any other pokemon than vulpix, really.
Write out numbers with letters.
Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.
Paragraphing has rules. You start a new paragraph with a new subject. The goal is not to divide your story up into even blocks. Also, a new speaker means you start a new paragraph.
Zero.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10986330/1/When-Summer-Came-Around
You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.
Semicolons do not indicate sophisticated or intelligent writing, even when grammatically correct. Use sentence-connecting semicolons sparingly, judiciously, and only when the ideas in the clauses are inseparable. If you have a semicolon sitting between a pair of sentences because the sentences are kind of, sort of related, it just makes you look pretentious.
Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.
One.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10986505/1/Rejected-Kecleon
Poem. Creepy one, but the uncomfortable kind where it’s not clear how much the author intends.
Two.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10986522/1/Dark-Side
You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.
[Evolution stones like their name sake evolved Pokémon, but they powered up Poke-morphs like Protein or Iron. ]
Really doesn’t follow. If you want them stealing powerups, just have them stealing protein and iron. And those are actually pricier than the stones, so there’s more incentive to steal them.
[ the mans head ]
Man’s. Apostrophes for possessives.
Write out numbers with letters.
Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.
One, concrit.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10986534/1/Explaining-Pokemon-Myths
This isn’t a fic and your grammar is horrible.
Three, and someone’s using my name anonymously to flame it, for some reason.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10986592/1/Wally-s-Legacy
You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.
Not sure what the point is in spending this much time novelizing the opening scene everyone’s familiar with.
Two.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10986885/1/The-PC-Pok%C3%A9mon
You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.
Paragraphing has rules. You start a new paragraph with a new subject. The goal is not to divide your story up into even blocks. Also, a new speaker means you start a new paragraph.
Don’t ask for OCs, make up ones to actually fit your story. Also, you need more of a story than people sitting around.
Two.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10987021/1/Pok%C3%A9mon-Heir-s-Journey-Hoenn
Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.
[“Great, another one of these snobby rich kids starting a journey. We don’t have nearly enough of those.” The boy grumbled to no one in particular.
Calvin turned away for a moment, sucking his teeth in annoyance. “Okay, let’s get a couple things straight.” He started slowly, taking a deep breath as he turned to the man and narrowed his eyes. If there was one surefire way to piss him off, it was to pass a judgment about his rich upbringing. “First off, I am Calvin O’Brien, son of Arthur O’Brien and heir to O’Brien enterprises. Just thought you might like to know the snobby rich kid at whom you’re currently staring down you’re nose. Second, not every kid who grows up rich is spoiled.]
But he’s definitely one of them, because his first response is “LET ME TELL YOU HOW IMPORTANT I AM I’M SO IMPORTANT SO SO SO SO IMPORTANT HOW DARE YOU DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO MY FATHER IS AND ALL THE STUFF I GET BY RIGHT OF BIRTH.”
[While true for the majority of us, it is and always will be a stereotype. Third, not that it’s any of your business-”
“Don’t you lecture-”
“I’M STILL TALKING!” Calvin was quick to shut him up, and was quite literally seething at this point, if his red-tinged face and tightly clenched teeth were any indication.]
Way to prove what a monstrous brat he is!
[“Sweet merciful Mew, first you try to judge me, then you interrupt me while I’m talking? You don’t have any home training, do you? Not that it matters. As I was saying, I have worked for everything I have, as everyone in this world should. ]
And a deluded, entitled one at that.
Well, if your goal was to create a character I’ve no interest in spending any further time with, amazing success, but not sure why you thought that was a good move.
You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.
Four.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10987077/1/Time-Only-Knows
You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.
Semicolons do not indicate sophisticated or intelligent writing, even when grammatically correct. Use sentence-connecting semicolons sparingly, judiciously, and only when the ideas in the clauses are inseparable. If you have a semicolon sitting between a pair of sentences because the sentences are kind of, sort of related, it just makes you look pretentious.
So…we open with Ash talking about how he recalled Pikachu knowing how much the pokemon hates it…and the only reason he did it is because “He didn’t want Pikachu to stay outside, watching him replay his troubled thoughts over and over again. ” which is about the more self-centered and terrible reason possible. So what you seem to be saying is that Ash being in love with Serena turns him into a raging asshole. Not the best argument for the ship.
Four.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10987092/1/pikachu-and-the-ribbon
Capitalize your title properly.
Spellcheck.
[ his Pikachu. ]
You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.
Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.
[Ash looked sternly on Pikachu and said, “You can’t just steal is things without asking for them.”
“pika, pika.” He made a face similar to the one he made when Ash died after the battle with Mewtwo back on the island. ]
Well that sure is a comparison that trivializes everything.
Zero.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10987122/1/Athena-vs-Concordia
You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.
All sentences need to end in punctuation, not just some.
Script format is still banned.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10987135/1/Assorted-Mishaps
Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.
Paragraphing has rules. You start a new paragraph with a new subject. The goal is not to divide your story up into even blocks. Also, a new speaker means you start a new paragraph.
You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.
And names are always capitalized, not just when you feel like it.
Write out numbers with letters.
Generally, be less lazy and actually look things up.
Zero.
Done with the 21st!
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10987384/1/The-Secrets-Within
Write out numbers with letters.
You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.
[ “This isn’t real,” I thought as tears again began to obscure my vision, “Dad will call us for breakfast any moment and Cecilia will come and jump on my back to wake me up. This is all just a horrific dream.” ]
Never put quotation marks around thoughts. They’re for spoken words.
Plotwise, well…you have things happening, but it’s nothing new or original, there’s a million that are just a kid watching their home mysteriously destroyed by mysterious figures. You don’t give any hook beyond that to indicate what the story’s actually about now.
One.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10987470/1/Microeconomic-Analysis-of-the-Pokemon-World
[To embarrass Chad Warden, I have decided not to approve your review and instead posted it here.
“…you are seriously overestimating yourself. This isn’t… an analysis… a simple middle school-level grasp of economics is sufficient to understand this fic.”
Reply to Chad Warden: how could this not be an analysis? I’m taking information/data of firms and breaking it down into understandable pieces. Also, you commit an error in reasoning, referring to ‘middle school’ level economics.
Your statement is pretty much an insult to schools that don’t have enough funding to offer such a course. Assuming you have taken middle school economics classes, I’ll have you know that the middle school I went to doesn’t even offer economics, so you can’t say I’m overestimating myself, since I never took economics beforehand.]
And wow does it show. The other reviewer is pointing out your OMG YOU MUST HAVE THIS MUCH SMARTNESS TO READ is laughable. Also, no, he didn’t say you have the grasp of a kid who took a course in middle school on this. He’s saying you have the grasp of a middle schooler with regular middle schooler understanding of the subject. The fact I have to explain that suggests you don’t even have a middle school level grasp of English.
Your wording is awkward and you’re just listing basic info and throwing in unbacked assertions, many of which are flatly contradicted by canon and all of actual economics. Sure, Silph has a worldwide monopoly on pokemon capture and healing but also prices everything low! That makes sense!
If you’re interested in this subject, why don’t you start by actually learning about it and not vomiting junk into a document and calling it an economics essay.
Warning! This is not easy to read! University-style economics, combined with Pokemon, attempts to explain how firms and businesses function in the Pokemon economy and its markets. Really hoping this is some kid lying their ass off.
One, plus apparently an unapproved unsigned review that provoked their rant.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10987791/1/mison-the-pokemon-master
Capitalize your title properly.
Also capitalize names.
Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.
One.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10987951/1/The-Tale-of-a-New-Champion
Oh christ another terrible betrayal fic.
Six. What the fuck is wrong with everyone.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10988169/1/Ruby-Destiny-LIfe-of-Guardians
You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.
[As every child knew, you needed a license granted by the academy to compete in the Hevah league. ]
Nope. Why would anyone do this? “Oh sorry, you’ve got city-leveling pokemon but you didn’t win the academy lottery years ago so I guess you’ll just have to sit everything out.”
Making kids learn how to feed and not be killed by pokemon might be a decent class, but giving them pokemon and denying them the chance to fight certain battles unless they go to one specific school is insane.
Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.
[“D-Dark Organization!” Kevin shouted and pointed his finger at them. Ace knew who they were, an organization that haunted the Hevah region with unclear motives.
“They want these Pokémon,” the shaman said holding up the bag. “I can’t let that happen!”
“Forget this,” the first grunt said. “Handover those Pokémon.”
“Or do you want to do this the hard way?” The second grunt added. The shaman was quiet before she got an idea.
“You two use these Pokémon to battle them,” the shaman opened the bag showing three red and white pokéballs.
“They’re your Pokémon,” Ace said. “Why don’t you do it?”
“The two of you are Ace and Kevin, correct?” Both were shocked that the Shaman knew their names. “Judging from your expressions I am correct. I was asked by a friend to deliver to each of you one Pokémon so one of these Pokémon belong to you.”]
You know, in Birch’s case there was something actually preventing him from using the pokemon himself. The idea someone would risk losing the pokemon and/or getting badly hurt trying to escape just because you want your characters to get to be the first ones to use the pokemon…hard to swallow.
Also, the idea newbies with starter pokemon easily beat adult criminals just makes the fic look very boring.
Two.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10988304/1/Pokemon-World-in-Flames
You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.
Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.
This chapter was a total waste of time. If you have any actual plot, instead of copying the anime skip to that.
One, concrit sort of.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10988420/1/Untouchable
You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.
Really not sure what’s up with the extended bit about how Brendan is crazy and broken. If that’s actually going on, it should be clear in Brendan’s behavior rather than just from extended narration lectures.
I do like the idea of Brendan trying to deal with socializing Deoxys.
But, like so much I hit while seeing first chapters, it doesn’t get beyond raising the idea. Thus, no inclusion into the C2 yet.
Two.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10988467/1/Legendary-vs-legendary
Again, got them already.
Zero.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10988501/1/Bonded-Minds
[ at a Persian ]
You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.
[Pikachu’s jaw dropped. Dad? As in father? No way… there was no way his Ash was the son of that… monster! The same monster that sent Jessie, James and Meowth on them to capture him. There was no way… could it? Children didn’t always turn out like their parents. ]
Well no, we shouldn’t judge Ash for his parentage, but we should definitely judge him for being totally okay with it.
Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.
Semicolons do not indicate sophisticated or intelligent writing, even when grammatically correct. Use sentence-connecting semicolons sparingly, judiciously, and only when the ideas in the clauses are inseparable. If you have a semicolon sitting between a pair of sentences because the sentences are kind of, sort of related, it just makes you look pretentious.
[“There is a condition that goes through my side of the family.” Giovanni explained after a translation was made for Pikachu. “Although, it runs on a certain pattern. It skips a generation and is given to the first person of the opposite gender that last had it.”
“What kind of condition?” Again, the electric type needed to be translated.
“A psychic condition. An ability, really. Being able to control things with the mind.”]
Does Ash really need to be more of a sue?
[“Wow.” That was all Ash could say. His father had caught him a shiny Pokémon. They were quite rare as he fully well knew. ]
…yeah. Caught. Sure.
So yeah, Ash looks either evil or even dumber than usual in this.
Six.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10988506/1/Clear-Steel
You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.
“Its” is possessive, “it’s” means “it is.”
Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.
[The steel trainer’s door slammed shut behind him as he laid the girl out on the large table in the center of the room, her face was contorted in discomfort as Steven stripped off his jacket and laid it over her while he ran to get just about every towel he could muster from his bathroom, dumping arm loads onto the table with her Beldum assisting as much as it could. He quickly looked over her shaking body, she wasn’t bleeding, but he couldn’t say anything about her limbs, though he was sure they were fine as none were bent at odd angles. ]
So why exactly can’t he take her to an actual hospital? Or even the pokecenter you just said was open.
It’s like the usual problem of people lugging around injured pokemon, but now with humans!
One.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10988580/1/A-dream-s-release
Pretty sure I got them before.
Two.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10988583/1/Time-Dilation
[different Pokemon ]
You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.
I like the chatty style of this, and the idea of different bubbles of almost the same story playing out with all equally true.
Zero.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10988603/1/Trails-Travels
[“Well Touya…According to the test you’re defiantly expecting.” ]
Definitely. Defiantly expecting means something rather different.
[“It seems as the Hero of Truth, the bond between you and Reshiram seems to have granted you with the ability to reproduce! Extraordinary, really.” ]
They seem to be dancing around the idea he fucked Reshiram. Also, you seem to be confused about the fact men can already reproduce just fine, they just don’t gestate the offspring.
Also, really not seeing how you can make the timeline work with the idea N’s the father, or how anyone would possibly know N was the father.
Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.
Write out numbers with letters.
You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.
Okay, so I’m really not seeing why you didn’t just make it White here. The mpreg aspect plays out exactly like a regular pregnancy would, and you write Touya barely surprised by the pregnancy and just focused on finding the kid’s dad, super weepy despite how much that’s discouraged in boys, and even call him the mother and have the baby saying “mama”. It’s like you really wanted to write him as much like a stereotypical girl as possible but also make it be yaoi, and the result is something that fails to manage either.
I wish I could express confusion about what the author was doing, but no, it’s endemic in other fandoms. Just hope it stays rare in this one, ugh. I mean why even make boys pregnant if not to have them react to it?
One.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10988614/1/A-New-Master
You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.
Paragraphing has rules. You start a new paragraph with a new subject. The goal is not to divide your story up into even blocks. Also, a new speaker means you start a new paragraph.
Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.
A chapter that’s just “Ash finally won” repeated a hundred times with every character coming in to nod is not very interesting.
Two.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10988664/1/When-the-Stars-Allign
You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.
[Humans had always ruled the Earth. No one stood up to them. The world was theirs, and theirs only, until one man wanted to change that. He wanted a companion, someone to talk to, and a friend. His name was Arceus. Arceus was not however a man, but a Pokemon himself, only acting as a human. He was created out of nothing, and shaped the world we live in. ]
This is nonsense and reads like you forgot what you were saying every few words.
Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.
Two.
End of January 20th.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10988785/1/Serena-s-Confession
[ It was during this conversation that Serena realised what would happen after Ash challenged the Kalos Leauge. He would move on to another region and meet new friends that he would travel with, maybe even another girl who would go through the same heart wrenching experience she was going through now. Serena didn’t want to be just a memory to Ash, she wanted to be something much more than that. From the get-go Serena knew that Ash would eventually enter the Kalos League and move on but the difference was back then she was just acting on a small crush and when he suggested that she joined him on his journey she was overjoyed and it was a dream come true! Now after spending time with Ash and really getting to know him she certainly was not fine with the fact he would eventually move on and she would be nothing more than a name in his stories.]
And why is it so impossible for her to leave the region as well?
You seem to be dealing with two separate things and treating them the same. One is the possibility Ash doesn’t love her, and one is that he’s going to leave. But Ash not loving her back has nothing to do with him eventually moving on to a new region. If she wants to stick around him, she should go to a new region, if she doesn’t want to be around someone who can’t love her back she’s going to leave now regardless of if he’ll ever head to another region.
Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.
Four.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10988787/1/Femme-Froide
[the Pokemon ]
You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.
Semicolons do not indicate sophisticated or intelligent writing, even when grammatically correct. Use sentence-connecting semicolons sparingly, judiciously, and only when the ideas in the clauses are inseparable. If you have a semicolon sitting between a pair of sentences because the sentences are kind of, sort of related, it just makes you look pretentious.
Zero.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10988855/1/Stargazing
Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.
Semicolons do not indicate sophisticated or intelligent writing, even when grammatically correct. Use sentence-connecting semicolons sparingly, judiciously, and only when the ideas in the clauses are inseparable. If you have a semicolon sitting between a pair of sentences because the sentences are kind of, sort of related, it just makes you look pretentious.
One.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10988919/1/Nevermore
[My role in this castle is somewhat unclear. Because I am a princess, I have not been trained in combat. Instead, I’ve learned tedious skills like sewing and playing the flute, and my only pleasurable activity is horseback riding. I was taught how to read and write when I was younger, but all Nobles learn how to do that. ]
I’d really suggest you actually research this kind of thing. People couldn’t educate a prince because they couldn’t order them around or punish them for blowing the lessons off. As you seem aware, they absolutely could order a princess around, so they were the ones who actually learned things.
Semicolons do not indicate sophisticated or intelligent writing, even when grammatically correct. Use sentence-connecting semicolons sparingly, judiciously, and only when the ideas in the clauses are inseparable. If you have a semicolon sitting between a pair of sentences because the sentences are kind of, sort of related, it just makes you look pretentious.
Really, research how things went down in history. The roles of women went beyond sitting around waiting to be married, and she doesn’t need to be a rebellious princess getting secret lessons to have useful skills.
Three.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10988923/1/A-New-Kind-of-Evolution
Got the author already.
Two.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10989072/1/Hug-Ambush
You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.
This really went on far too long when there’s only one joke to it.
Two.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10989128/1/The-Last-Summer-Day
This is cute and nicely written, and I like how awed they are by the sight of Articuno.
Zero.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10989151/1/Why-Do-You-Give-Me-Roses
Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.
Don’t call eyes orbs.
Zero.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10989345/1/Pious-Odyssey
Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.
Well, I like that Nova’s ethical enough she can’t leave everyone, but the jump to the eevee and Hallowed One thing really cuts the story’s momentum. The ideas of the backstory are interesting enough but could really stand to be streamlined.
Zero.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10989420/1/Burning-Low
Opening your story with a character waking up for the day is generic and horribly, horribly overdone, and to be honest, it’s so incredibly dull and boring a start that even if I hadn’t seen it, very literally here, hundreds upon hundreds of times before, I would still tell you you should have started at some other, interesting point. Also, no one will ever care what your character is eating for breakfast.
Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.
Semicolons do not indicate sophisticated or intelligent writing, even when grammatically correct. Use sentence-connecting semicolons sparingly, judiciously, and only when the ideas in the clauses are inseparable. If you have a semicolon sitting between a pair of sentences because the sentences are kind of, sort of related, it just makes you look pretentious.
You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.
The bit at Oak’s lab is playing out much better than most, in that you’re giving the pokemon personalities, but…
First, picking that charmander is like picking the runt of the litter – just because you feel bad for it doesn’t mean you taking it with you is going to help matters. She thinks he’s lonely and wants to be friends, which is a kind thought, but what she was actually told is that he’s nervous, so not really the best fit for a new trainer’s starter. He then flinches and tenses around her, and otherwise acts like having him be her only battler is a terrible, terrible idea.
Second…
[With a sudden burst of energy, Esmé rose from her chair, her fist raised in determination. “I’ve made my decision, Professor Oak! I choose Charmander to be my starter!”
The Professor smiled, with an almost knowing glint in his eyes, but asked anyways “Are you sure, Esmé?” he raised an eyebrow.
Esmé nodded, “I’m positive!” she reassured.
“Well, then,” Professor Oak pulled out a pokéball and a pokédex from his trench coat, “these are for you; a pokédex, and your Charmander’s pokéball. I must say, I’m surprised you decided so quickly.”
Esmé grabbed the items, attaching the pokéball to her belt, and putting the pokédex in her other pocket. “Well, once you told me about him, I knew there was no way that I could say ‘No’!” she grinned, “Besides, I think he’ll be a great partner!” she said, approaching her Pokémon.
Charmander shrunk in on himself as Esmé got closer, but didn’t run away. His new trainer kneeled down on her knees in front of him, bringing herself to his level. “Hey, buddy!” she said, her previously upbeat tone was now soft, but it still had a happy ring to it, almost like a bell, “I would really like for you to join me on my journey! I think we could be a great team! What do you say?”]
She decides the charmander will go with her first, confirms that she’s absolutely certain she’s going to do this, then actually heads over to ask if that’s okay. You even refer to her as “his new trainer” before she’s even asked. What exactly happens if the charmander says no? Does she accept a no answer, does she argue and badger until he agrees, or does she just shrug and take him anyway because he’ll see how nice she is eventually?
Very Lucki.
Zero.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10989469/1/the-fire-burns-but-the-water-swallows
Semicolons do not indicate sophisticated or intelligent writing, even when grammatically correct. Use sentence-connecting semicolons sparingly, judiciously, and only when the ideas in the clauses are inseparable. If you have a semicolon sitting between a pair of sentences because the sentences are kind of, sort of related, it just makes you look pretentious.
I realize shipping works by weird logic but the idea what’s best for Maxie is for his entire team to go away while he stays with Archie and only Archie is hard to believe.
Zero.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10989472/1/Dueling-Duo-s
You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.
Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.
[Something about this seemed quite familiar to the boss. Giovanni hummed as he searched through his memories, until settling on a bunch of one’s that were almost identical to the situation now.
Many a time had he been lecturing grunts, elites and spies about failed missions and nine times out of ten they’d give the same excuse: “It was this kid and his Pikachu! Everything was going fine until they showed up!”
A particular trio rung out in his mind, their complaints about twerps and ThunderBolt’s and blast offs making much more sense. ]
It’s hard to believe he’d have heard it for nine out of ten failed missions and never thought anything of it before. Pikachu may not be as rare as dratini, but they’re also not something every single trainer uses, and he should’ve noticed it coming up over and over.
It’d make more sense if all or very nearly all were just the Rocket trio – he doesn’t think anything of them, so of course he tunes them out, but when these different agents he doesn’t think are incompetent buffoons say the exact same thing, it reminds him of that and he wonders if it’s the same thing.
Well, the trio showing up to warn Ash works.
[Ash, Pikachu, The Trio and Wobbuffet had done something similar to a blast off, as it seemed. They’d woken up somewhere outside Pewter City, if all the grey around was anything to go by.
“Well,” Ash started, trying to catch his breath. “That was different.”
“At least we got away.” Jessie said, attempting to look on the bright side.
“And they’re probably going assume we’re all dead after that.” James added, sitting up against a tree.
“So Team Rocket won’t be after us anymore?” Ash asked hopefully. Meowth smiled.
“You got it, kid! You’ll be free to do whateva you want, just like ol’ times!” The Scratch Cat Pokémon cheered.]
Not sure why Giovanni would be this trusting/lazy about confirming there was a body and not a still-alive troublemaker.
[He couldn’t compete in League’s anymore. He had to give his name for that and if anyone from Team Rocket caught his name they’d get suspicious. Especially if they saw him competing, they’d surely recognize him. And it’d be pointless to compete in gym battles if he couldn’t compete in the League too.
What was supposed to be a short trip home had shattered his life’s dreams.
“I can’t. It’ll never be just like old times now.” Ash muttered. “I can’t compete in anything without my name and Team Rocket would get ahold of it if I compete in anything anywhere near as big as the Pokémon League.”]
Why can’t he just compete in gym battles under a different name? It’s the badges that let you into the League and he collects a new set each region anyway.
Actually recognizing him is the only real issue and that’s hardly impossible to get around. Just dyeing his hair would probably throw them off given Giovanni didn’t even know he existed a few days ago.
[“We can’t go home.” Ash said suddenly.
“Why can’t we?” Pikachu questioned, wondering what had gotten into Ash. Team Rocket, too, were wondering what the young trainer was thinking that he didn’t want to go home.
“If we just lay low at home Team Rocket will still be out there, causing trouble and taking Pokémon from trainers. We can’t just sit around and let it happen.” Ash said. Pikachu nodded and sparked his cheeks determinedly.]
See, this turning into Ash Takes On Team Rocket just makes Ash look like he doesn’t actually care all that much about Team Rocket stealing trainers’ pokemon if he only decides to do something about it once they make it impossible to do his usual wandering and badge-collecting. Something like Team Rocket deciding to kill Ash convinces him that they’re actually a legitimate threat the world needs saving from would work better.
“Your” is possessive, “you’re” is short for “you are”.
Twelve.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10989525/1/Not-Coming-Back
Again, got them.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10989585/1/Blues
This seems like original fiction bickering with no real point.
One.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10989587/1/Absol-And-The-Spark
Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.
Write out numbers with letters.
Capitalize names.
“Its” is possessive, “it’s” means “it is.”
One.
That finishes Jan 21st and gets me to the bottom of page 2. Creeping toward victory!