Science fail fic and a very nicely written sue today!
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10997084/1/The-Nuzlocke-Chronicles-Kanto
You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.
[However, nobody was aware that it was not only the Pokeballs that were changing, but the Pokemon contained within them as well. Over the years, the Pokemon that were captured went through a series of genetic mutations. These mutations occasionally caused those Pokemon which were emotionally bonded to the humans to die after battles rather than to faint. ]
That’s really not how mutation works.
A mutation is a random change in one cell’s DNA. If the mutation is advantageous in some way, it’s passed on and becomes more common. In almost all circumstances, the mutation needs to be present from birth to matter (the primary exception being cancer).
So the mechanism you’re describing (capturing producing the exact same mutation over and over) doesn’t work, it wouldn’t result in any noticeable change until it happened in a gamete and the pokemon reproduced, and it’s the exact opposite of advantageous so as soon as it appears it should’ve been selected against.
What you should’ve said is that this was a preexisting quirk of pokemon nature and been done with it.
[To prevent major life loss in the Pokemon population, the human governments had initially wanted to ban the capturing of Pokemon altogether. However, many argued that the mutual benefits between the humans and the Pokemon were too high to forfeit. With the help of the Pokemon, humans were now able to seamlessly integrate nature with technology, providing a cleaner environment for humans and Pokemon while also being able to technologically advance. With the help of humans, Pokemon, even those in the wild, were now able to receive medication and care. Pokemon who bonded with humans were also recorded to have a longer lifespan. A compromise was made and all agreed upon a new set of laws that would minimize the amount of Pokemon life loss in battle while also keeping the mutual benefits that both parties enjoyed. ]
You mean banning battle and just keeping them as partners without the cockfighting for personal glory.
Oh right it’s a nuzlocke of course it’s not going to make sense. Rather than let ten year olds have pokemon because of those awesome mutual benefits and just ban them from ordering their pokemon from trying to kill each other, keep the death fights and up the age, that’s a solution.
[ The third and final law was that if all of a trainer’s Pokemon were near fainting, the battle was considered to be over as to prevent excess loss of life. ]
Except that your reasoning is that it’s triggered by failing their trainer, not literally fainting, so this should just cause them all to die.
Look, it’s pretty much impossible to explain this setup, and trying just highlights exactly how absurd it all it.
[ even those in criminal organizations such as Rocket, Magma, or Aqua agreed upon the rules to protect the Pokemon. ]
Because it’s not like Team Rocket canonically murders pokemon for profit or anything, of course they’d be totally fine with this.
I don’t know why these fics are so dead-set on making it about friendship.
Zero.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10997140/1/Pokemon-Battle-Academy
Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.
[and weather it will make their show more interesting ]
Whether. Weather is if it’s snowing or not.
You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.
Zero.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10997215/1/My-Existance
You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.
Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.
You need punctuation at the end of your sentences.
One.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10997427/1/Flame-Heart
You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.
[but gramps isn’t here.]
Or this. This is getting used as a name, so capitalize it.
This is pretty tedious. Oak forgetting who people are is an old joke, and you didn’t to spend half the fic repeating that Blue is a jerk with a million tiny variations.
Zero.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10997440/1/Remember
Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.
Paragraphing has rules. You start a new paragraph with a new subject. The goal is not to divide your story up into even blocks. Also, a new speaker means you start a new paragraph.
You need way, way more commas in this.
Zero.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10997485/1/pokemon-journey
Capitalize your title properly.
Opening your story with a character waking up for the day is generic and horribly, horribly overdone, and to be honest, it’s so incredibly dull and boring a start that even if I hadn’t seen it, very literally here, hundreds upon hundreds of times before, I would still tell you you should have started at some other, interesting point.
Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.
You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.
Spellcheck
One:
Okay, as always, I’ll start with the improvements you could make to make this story better than it already is:
-There are a few grammatical mistakes, like using ‘a’ instead of ‘an’
-Always remember that different people speaking must be in different paragraphs
-This story may be moving a little bit too quickly, make sure you take time to describe certain things in depth and detail
-There are a few little spelling mistakes like ‘exact’ instead of ‘accept’, ‘over slepted’ instead of ‘overslept’, ‘apon’ instead of ‘upon’, ‘fowasrd’ instead of ‘forward/forwards’ and ‘for getting’ instead of ‘forgetting’, etc.
-Be sure to always check you’re spelling a Pokémon’s name correctly – for example, you wrote ‘unknown’ instead of ‘Unown’
-Try to make the chapters a bit longer
-The story so far is a little bit unoriginal and typical
Now to the good things about the story!:
-Characterization is good
-Interesting and attention-grabbing
-Lots of description on the characters
-You clearly have extensive Pokémon knowledge, such as knowing the towns and Pokémon
-Quite a traditional story plot (in a good way)
I’ll be looking forward to the next chapter! Keep up the good work!
Which is a good summary of what I mean when I note there’s concrit. “You couldn’t even spellcheck, but look at you knowing the name of a town! Great job!” Still a huge improvement than anything I’ve seen before, though.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10997845/1/Speed-Dating
[idk this MIGHT have a sex scene if I am feeling up to making one ]
This fic is listed as complete. How exactly can you not be sure if there’s a sex scene in it, and if you’re so confused about it why did you rate it K?
Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.
Stop trying to use Japanese words.
One.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10997921/1/Pikachu-Real-Goodbye
[Piakchu ]
Proofread.
[college courses designed for Pokemon trainers. ]
You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.
“Your” is possessive, “you’re” is short for “you are”.
This seems like it needed more thought given to it.
You seem to stall with Pikachu’s motivation being that nothing should ever change despite him having weathered plenty of change before. Focusing specifically in Pikachu being upset Ash gave up on being a champion and how he’s unhappy at the lack of battling would probably help. Right now it seems like just a laundry list of every possible change followed by Pikachu hating it, regardless of if that makes any sense.
Then he runs off, but not to get back into battling but sit around in a forest rather than a house? Why? And how could he possibly be running into that much difficulty competing with some low-level wild pokemon for food? It seems like you just wanted to have Ash’s kid run into him and for it to be all sad, regardless of how little sense that makes.
Speaking of,
[ and then Charizard flew over and landed in front of her. In his arms was a tiny shiny Charmander. Charizard put the child on the floor and Ali got on her knees to look at him. “Is this yours and Charla kid?” Charmander and his mate had had many kids over the years either here at the breeding center or at the Charicific Valley.
Charizard gave a nod indicating yes. “I didn’t know you had another child,” Ash said. “Charizard must have flown all the way to the valley and back with him.”
Ali already had her hand on the Charmander head and was playing with him. “You want to come with me and be my partner,” Ali asked the little one who responded with an excited Charmander char. “I’ll take that as a yes. I guess I have my starter.”]
That is awful.
This comes off like Charizard and Charla have been popping out thousands of eggs and discarding them just so they could finally get one shiny kid to offer the girl, which is horrifying. And if you want to present Ali as even a halfway decent person, she shouldn’t be most concerned by if her pokemon happens to be a sparkly status symbol.
[He sat next to his starter all night. He heard Misty and Ali come in. Misty said a few words to Pikachu. It was late at night. Ali was asleep when Pikachu monitor’s made a noise and Pikachu was gone.
Ash made arrangements with Nurse Joy for burial in a pokemon cemetery nearby. “Hey Ali, I guess I owe you a pokemon,” Ash said and Ali gave him a look.]
Also awful is that Ash’s primary reaction to his first pokemon dying, and of a preventable cause at that, is that oh no, beloved daughter who this story is revolving around for some reason, it must be so awful how you went through the effort of catching a pokemon only to lose it! And no, telling the reader that this is just part of how super much he cares about Pikachu doesn’t change the part where what’s actually happening is Pikachu is sidelined so the kid can get even more free stuff.
This kind of thing where an OC takes over the story to metamorphozise into a full sue is something I usually see in other fandoms. It’s probably related to the Ash-OCs, where people who have an idea for an OC aren’t able to just write a story about them and so find themselves shoehorning all their thoughts into other fics.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10998032/1/Not-Alone
You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.
[After a whole
menagerie of people profusely congratulating her and thanking her for the world’s victory, she was just… Alone. The people she would soon face wouldn’t care that she had tamed a Legendary Pokemon or wrecked Team Magma. It inexplicably made her feel even lonelier. The constant thanks became repetitive, but at least it was something.]
Random break there for some reason.
Also, the idea that the hero’s accomplishments mean nothing in a different context doesn’t work well when it’s pokemon battles. No one she faces in a pokemon battle will find the fact she was awesome enough at pokemon battles to handle an enemy team and the angry god they summoned irrelevant.
Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.
Archie’s quite cute though, especially admitting that actually he doesn’t know her name.
I don’t think there’s any real way to make the game’s pattern of save the world THEN elite four make narrative sense short of adding in a new plot about how the reason you had to save the world instead of them is because they’re lazy and/or evil.
Two.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10998223/1/T-or-D-3
Both interactive and script format fics are banned.
One.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10998407/1/Bittersweet
You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.
[She wouldn’t know that her parents intended to leave Unova. Intended to give up on Unova, she might even say. Bitterness rose in the back of her throat. She was still here, wasn’t she? She was in the middle of challenging the Unovan Pokémon League! It was all fine and well for them to transplant themselves to Kalos, but she could not do the same. ]
…does she actually have any badges yet? It doesn’t sound like she’s really in the middle so much as just starting, and switching regions would mean she doesn’t have to fight Cilan again for the badge.
[“I understand,” she placated ]
That’s a really awkward speech tag.
[Not caring what anyone in the neighboring rooms might here, she allowed herself to succumb to her emotions—rage, terror, grief. Her screaming and sobbing echoed in the confines of the room until her throat protested and her voice cracked. ]
Kind of an extreme reaction when the worst she can think of appears to be that her parents won’t see her compete in the eventual tournament on TV and even that seems like it has easy solutions- is crossing borders hard enough they wouldn’t be able to come back to visit for the tournament?
Two.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10998475/1/Pok%C3%A9mon-Legacies-SYOC
[And to make sure that this stays on the site, I’m going to post a part of the prologue.]
Actually this whole thing is what the ban on “interactive” fic is referring to.
Also don’t request people’s OCs because it’s a terrible idea and you should make up characters yourself to fit the roles you need for your story.
You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.
Semicolons do not indicate sophisticated or intelligent writing, even when grammatically correct. Use sentence-connecting semicolons sparingly, judiciously, and only when the ideas in the clauses are inseparable. If you have a semicolon sitting between a pair of sentences because the sentences are kind of, sort of related, it just makes you look pretentious.
Thirteen.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10997925/1/Global-Pok%C3%A9mon-Tournament
Don’t request people’s OCs because it’s a terrible idea and you should make up characters yourself to fit the roles you need for your story.
Also, people just battling each other is boring as hell. If you want to do this and have it be halfway interesting, learn to draw.
Okay so here’s an idea: do one of these and then midway through the first battle they look up and FURIOUS LEGENDARY BLASTING EVERYTHING and everyone scatters and some people die and the survivors try to figure out what’s going on. Or maybe all the horrible submitted OCs die and the story proceeds from there.
Five.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10998657/1/The-Rays-of-Her-Smile
Got them already.
Two.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10998684/1/Lose-the-Coal-Gain-a-Diamond
Same person.
Five.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10998695/1/amour-books
lrn2troll
Zero.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10998700/1/Dusk-s-Crown
You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.
Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.
Don’t ask for OCs. Make up characters when you need them to fit what you need them for.
One.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10998863/1/Pok%C3%A9mon-Mystery-Dungeon-Transgressions
“Its” is possessive, “it’s” means “it is.”
Your opening is just terrible, which is a shame because once you stop going on about torture and terrible metaphors and have the ditto open its eyes and start talking about what’s actually going on it improves a lot. Your writing’s still really choppy and awkwardly worded, though – I’d suggest a beta reader.
You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.
Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.
The idea of ditto as hated could be interesting, but you’re making it really obvious it’s just evil people being mean and prejudiced. I mean [Ditto hunters we are called, the most revered and feared pokemon in this corner of the world, working only for the guild. Starfire and I would never admit of course, that we only hunted benign Ditto, ones reported not to be outwardly hostile.] really? And that makes things way less interesting.
Two.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10998940/1/Forgotten
Don’t ask for OCs. Make up characters when you need them to fit what you need them for.
Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.
You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.
Write out numbers with letters.
If the actual plot of this is about the temple and the ring, then you really shouldn’t open with a battle. Battles aren’t inherently interesting and worse, they’re how everyone opens their fics while mystery temple and mystery ring is a lot more intriguing.
Zero.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10999045/1/Ashes-to-Ashes-Death-Love
Got them already.
One.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10999175/1/Out-of-the-Box
Write out numbers with letters.
“Never saw” means that the thing you’re saying didn’t happen at any point in her life. What you appear to mean is “didn’t see”. Your wording is generally horrible. Find a beta reader.
Two.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10999185/1/The-Kindness-of-Strangers-On-the-Internet
Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.
You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.
This really doesn’t seem to have to do with pokemon or the characters, it’s just issuefic about tumblr/mental illness.
One.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10999189/1/Alena-and-the-Multigate
You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.
[Twig and Alena stood in stunned silence, clinging to each other in the pitch blackness of the cave. The Pokénav’s glowing screen was still piercingly visible through the darkness, but it was a good forty feet away, with who-knows-what standing between it and the terrified duo.
“We need to get to it,” Alena whispered, and started to make a move for the glowing device. But Twig grabbed her around the waist, keeping her from taking another step.
“There could be an endless pit in between us and the thingy! We need to get out of here, forget the letter and the thingy. We’re Zubat food unless we get out. Don’t you have an Escape Rope?!” Twig tried to grab hold of Alena’s backpack but only succeeded in grabbing her face.
“Quit it!” Alena screamed. “I’m not going to leave before I deliver the letter, and I’m not going to leave my Pokénav here! It was a gift!” She elbowed her starter Pokémon in the underside and dashed over to the Pokénav; but within seconds her foot caught on a stalagmite and she crashed to the ground.]
Why is everyone being a complete idiot? All they had to do was walk toward it at a normal pace.
Semicolons do not indicate sophisticated or intelligent writing, even when grammatically correct. Use sentence-connecting semicolons sparingly, judiciously, and only when the ideas in the clauses are inseparable. If you have a semicolon sitting between a pair of sentences because the sentences are kind of, sort of related, it just makes you look pretentious.
[The green Pokémon looked a bit taken aback to be answered by a human. “You can understand me? ]
So that is personal specialness.
Look, if you’re giving a character an ability that’s not standard, that should change things. A kid who can talk to pokemon shouldn’t act the same as a kid who can’t. If you don’t want to deal with that, then just write your fic assuming everyone can talk to everyone and adjusting the world so that makes sense.
I really like that this is starting with her having already got and even evolved her starter, and that stuff is going on from the opening line. And time travel’s fun. But the way you’re handing her stuff like this and telling us stuff like [ her eyes were as sharp as glass and betrayed an incredible intelligence and stubbornness that Steven wasn’t used to seeing outside of a mirror. ] is not a good sign.
But while I’m deeply concerned about if it’s going to actually be any good, it certainly manages decent, so to the C2 it goes.
Zero.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10999225/1/Pokemon-Legends-The-Shrine-of-the-Giant-Pokemon
Two paragraphs is way too short for a prologue.
Zero.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10999228/1/Pokemon-Adventures
Do you realize there’s over four hundred fics with this exact title? If there’s more to your fic than that it’s about a kid having an adventure with pokemon, your title should probably indicate that.
Paragraphing has rules. You start a new paragraph with a new subject. The goal is not to divide your story up into even blocks. Also, a new speaker means you start a new paragraph.
Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.
Write out numbers with letters.
You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.
Two.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10999387/1/After-it-all-calms-down-Red-and-Yellow
Reviewed them already, though apparently they deleted the previous fic to be confusing.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10999390/1/Master-Challenge
Write out numbers with letters.
You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.
Semicolons do not indicate sophisticated or intelligent writing, even when grammatically correct. Use sentence-connecting semicolons sparingly, judiciously, and only when the ideas in the clauses are inseparable. If you have a semicolon sitting between a pair of sentences because the sentences are kind of, sort of related, it just makes you look pretentious.
Battling for the sake of it is not really that interesting. The mystery super trainers thing could be if that was the point of the fic and not just a flimsy justification for lots of battles.
It’s seriously just going to be a pile of battles. That’s the plot.
3. Okay, so this project should take a long time. Ash will battle each Elite Four Challenge, but not Kanto. See, the problem with Kanto and Johto is that some of the members are the same. For example, Bruno and Lance. Ash will challenge Johto, Hoenn, Sinnoh, Unova, and Kalos. After that, the Pokemon Master. Each battle should be about one chapter, making 27 chapters if from this point, there was a battle for each chapter. However, The Pokemon Master will probably be more than one chapter, there will be filler chapters, and important chapters that just don’t have a battle. The main plot is the Elite Four, but I have a mini other plot in mind. So this should finish around 50 chapters.
Twenty-one.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10999407/1/Moments
Drabble is the term for a writing exercise of 100 words exactly. Not anything short. Not sure why I even have to explain that when the actual drabble number is right there in the name of the community you say this was for.
Zero.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10999437/1/Keeping-Promises
Already got them.
Zero.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10999446/1/A-Steady-Shaking-Deep-in-the-Bones
Already got them.
Zero.
And so we finish Jan 25th!