I really wonder about the game openings. Is it that people don’t bother to read anything else in the category but are still sure they’re awesome writers everyone else will pay attention to? Or do they see it a million times and think that those may suck but obviously theirs is super interesting?
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11004419/1/Shadow-Wars
You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.
[She had developed a sense of narcolepsy though ]
“Sense of” doesn’t make any sense.
[As a result, she had a tendency to drop off to sleep at the slightest sign of fatigue or exhaustion. It was a source of gratitude for her parents that the condition was not as unpredictable as most cases. ]
Also, excessive sleepiness is found in everyone with narcolepsy, because narcolepsy is not “suddenly falling asleep” it’s “my brain forgot how to rest and I am permanently sleep-deprived”. The thing where you suddenly collapse is an additional symptom that’s merely associated with the basic disorder, and it’s not really unpredictable because it’s generally linked to a strong emotional response.
Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.
Two.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11004504/1/Afterparty
Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.
You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.
Zero.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11004793/1/Good-Boy
Write out numbers with letters.
Stop putting a space before punctuation.
[But what I’m trying to tell you is that … ALL my friends have pokemon and I’m the only one who doesn’t have one , but I’m fine with that because I like my loneliness , but I just can’t help that I’m the only kid with no pokemon . ]
He could just ask any one of them to catch him a pokemon.
Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.
Zero.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11004803/1/The-War-Between-Two
Paragraphing has rules. You start a new paragraph with a new subject. The goal is not to divide your story up into even blocks. Also, a new speaker means you start a new paragraph.
Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.
[ for a Pokémon ]
You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.
[“But mom” ]
Such as here, where it’s being used as a name and should be capitalized.
[ Still small but full of energy, smaller than most growlithe. Usually growlithe are orange, beige and black, but here was one that was yellow, gold and black. ]
Handing your character a special colored pokemon is a bad idea.
Zero.
You know, I sort of miss the ancient days before shinies, when people would sometimes just assume pokemon came in a reasonable variety of shades. The problem is that it’s tied to something super special so it only ever comes up as part of the general ball of sue traits.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11004862/1/Junk-of-the-Heart
Repost and the author’s blocked me.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11004921/1/Path-to-Salvation
You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.
This looks really promising. There’s a lot going on, there’s a clear goal, your main character isn’t just starting his journey today, and the pokemon have personalities of their own.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11004921/2/Path-to-Salvation
[“Fennekin, those are important to me. Could I have them back?” Alex bent down to look at the Fennekin, but it shook its head, cheerfully gesturing towards the door of the cage to the side.
Alex first thought about how he would snatch his belongings back from the thief. Julia could probably slip through the bars and hypnotise the Fennekin into sleep, then take back his things, but that might cause a panic within the cage. If he just took them back, the Fennekin would steal it again or take something else.
“Right. You have my hands tied. Be quiet, then.” Alex went over to the door.]
Clever little thing.
I’m enjoying Alex a lot – not a hero but a decent person given the circumstances, and the fennekin seems like it’ll be an interesting addition.
Two.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11004985/1/Wanted-to
[Warning for Yaio and implied relationships, And sex, and sexual things. ]
If you can’t spell it don’t write it.
Zero.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11005108/1/Brendan-and-May-s-Adventure
You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.
Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.
Repeating the basic opening of the game is not interesting. Stories need actual plots. If you’ve got one, skip to where it begins. If not, stop and figure out what the plot is.
Zero.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11005144/1/Ash-plus-Misty-equals-LOVE
Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.
Write out numbers with letters.
You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.
Blocked!
One.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11005151/1/Meeting
Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.
You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.
This doesn’t seem to be doing much to actually explore the premise.
[“Right. May.” He held out a hand. An invitation to come. An invitation to throw away everything I had known before and join him. My soul mate. “Come with me.”
I hesitated, then took a single step forward.]
I mean, this reads about identically to any other version of “suddenly the main character wondered if the villain was right”. They’re soulmates, fine sure, but why does that mean she’s wrong to oppose Aqua and not that he’s wrong to oppose her? What does soulmate actually mean here, anyway – a person whose beliefs and goals resonate with yours, or just a person you’ll get along with well in general temperament? Is losing your soulmate due to these sort of disagreements possible and something they should both fear, or is it impossible so they just need to work out which of them will inevitably agree the other one’s right?
What would happen if she dug in her heels here? Would he stop what he’s doing in confusion, because being soulmates means they’re destined to spend their lives working together and what’s going on, doesn’t destiny love his insane plan? Would they stay where they were while each attempted to convince the other that no, YOU follow ME, or would they just think something’s gone horribly wrong for them to be disagreeing at all? You have, for once, a lever that’s working on both sides, something that could actually push someone certain of themselves into second guessing.
One.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11005162/1/The-Way-of-the-Warrior
Then don’t post.
Zero.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11005233/1/Name-Your-Price
Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.
You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.
Blocked!
Two.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11005534/1/The-Sleeping-Demon
[ In this fanfiction, some Pokemon are considered equals to people, and others are Wild. Wild Pokemon can be captured, Citizen Pokemon cannot. ]
And the distinction comes from…? And this is enforced by…?
You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.
Write out numbers with letters.
Paragraphing has rules. You start a new paragraph with a new subject. The goal is not to divide your story up into even blocks. Also, a new speaker means you start a new paragraph.
Three.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11005552/1/Seed-of-a-New-Jouney-Kanto-Region-Advernture
Your title is misspelled and don’t post chapters that aren’t stories.
Blocked!
Zero.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11005714/1/Broken-Wings
[“May?” Drew’s voice was barely audible. It was as if he was afraid that I would break if he was louder.
I didn’t reply. Not even a measly sound came out my mouth. I was too busy drowning in my own thoughts to speak. He didn’t realise that. Thinking was my mistake.
A newly formed frown dominated Drew’s face. His expression, once serious, confident and caring, became cold and stony all of a sudden.
“I’m sorry for telling you that. Please forget what I said.” Drew stood up and gazed down at me. A newly born silence hung between us. Again.
“Drew, I—” I was stopped halfway through my sentence by Drew as he began his.
“I’m leaving next week for my dad’s new job. We’ll be leaving at nine in the morning on a Saturday. This way, you won’t have to bother with me again.” Drew turned to walk away but I grabbed the back of his shirt. I didn’t intend to do it, but that doesn’t matter. My main priority was stop him and tell him how I feel because this idiot doesn’t get it and keeps interrupting me!
“Don’t go…” I whispered. I was hoping it’d be louder, but I presume the shock hadn’t stopped kicking into my brain yet from Drew’s unexpected confession. My knees began aching from staying on the grass for so long but I hid the pain and stayed like that.
“If you give me a reason, I won’t.” Drew’s eyes betrayed the hopefulness he was attempting to hide as he spoke in a harsh tone.
“I…” My words failed me. I didn’t have a proper reason; saying “because I love you” or “because I want you to stay here with me” weren’t proper reasons, so I steered away from the temptation of saying those, believing it wouldn’t be accepted by Drew. But those reasons were the only ones that I had, causing me to flush at my selfishness.
“Oh.” The word came out strained, with layers of disappointment and annoyance evident in his voice. ]
“I realized I loved him but didn’t say so, then I found I couldn’t speak, then I decided it’d be selfish to not trick him into thinking I hated him and that he should feel bad so I kept not saying anything!” is not a misunderstanding. If your plot’s conflict can be summed up as “one person deliberately and persistently acts in a way that makes no sense”, your plot is garbage. If you want to do a story centered around a misunderstanding, THINK UP A MISUNDERSTANDING FIRST.
Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.
Two.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11005967/1/A-Year-s-Seasons
[The more I have (to a decent extent) the better the story will go. ]
No, it won’t. Make up characters yourself that actually fit what you need for the story.
Write out numbers with letters.
Semicolons do not indicate sophisticated or intelligent writing, even when grammatically correct. Use sentence-connecting semicolons sparingly, judiciously, and only when the ideas in the clauses are inseparable. If you have a semicolon sitting between a pair of sentences because the sentences are kind of, sort of related, it just makes you look pretentious.
[maybe because its name is dog… ]
Names are capitalized.
[Anyhow, I came to a clearing and was surprised when I saw something that hadn’t been there yesterday: A circular patch of dead grass right in the center. Of course this had not been here earlier ]
Your writing is extremely tedious and often outright redundant. Edit.
[I retch for my jacket ]
Proofreading is important.
Paragraphing has rules. You start a new paragraph with a new subject. The goal is not to divide your story up into even blocks. Also, a new speaker means you start a new paragraph.
Two.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11005984/1/A-Journey-of-Justice
Paragraphing has rules. You start a new paragraph with a new subject. The goal is not to divide your story up into even blocks. Also, a new speaker means you start a new paragraph.
You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.
Write out numbers with letters.
[ I am 20, you know,” Jon replied. ]
So by average trainer you meant twice the starting age.
Also everyone’s seen the opening of the game, seeing your OC walk through it doesn’t suddenly make it interesting.
Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.
Zero.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11005985/1/Pokemon-to-humans-in-a-day
Capitalize your title properly.
You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.
Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.
Paragraphing has rules. You start a new paragraph with a new subject. The goal is not to divide your story up into even blocks. Also, a new speaker means you start a new paragraph.
Write out numbers with letters.
[I really wanted to end it here since it was a pretty much perfect ending for a chapter, but 600 words was too short, even for me. So after that quick message, we shall continue on! ]
It’s good you kept going but it’s really, really not good you stuck a note in the middle of the story to tell everyone.
Zero.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11006010/1/Why-Don-t-You-Love-Me
Songfic continues to be banned.
Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.
You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.
Zero.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11006058/1/Musings-of-Sandstorm-Shipping
You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.
[“Winona, why don’t you cook something for us to eat?” recalled Winona when Roxanne had asked her to cook.]
This sentence does not make the slightest bit of sense.
Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.
Zero.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11006154/1/Prophecies-of-a-Champion
You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.
[Lawrence was intended originally to be born into a poor family. Arceus assumed that the man’s desire came from the fact that he would not have many material possessions while he grew up. So Arceus, being Arceus, changed his whole life. He would be born into the Gelardan family. This particular family was very wealthy, with no children. ]
This is undercut by the fact Arceus could’ve solved this by just having the guy be born somewhere away from the legendary birds so he’d be busy with something else.
Write out numbers with letters.
One.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11006278/1/Down-the-Line
Semicolons do not indicate sophisticated or intelligent writing, even when grammatically correct. Use sentence-connecting semicolons sparingly, judiciously, and only when the ideas in the clauses are inseparable. If you have a semicolon sitting between a pair of sentences because the sentences are kind of, sort of related, it just makes you look pretentious.
Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.
You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.
This is all about Paul and Ash both being champions and now having one climatic battle while Dawn and Misty stand around watching with their kids, and I just spent the time bitter that wow, that’s the franchise.
Five.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11006427/1/Opposites
Opening your story with a character waking up for the day is generic and horribly, horribly overdone, and to be honest, it’s so incredibly dull and boring a start that even if I hadn’t seen it, very literally here, hundreds upon hundreds of times before, I would still tell you you should have started at some other, interesting point. Also, no one will ever care what your character is eating for breakfast.
Write out numbers with letters.
[blunette ]
No.
Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.
“Its” is possessive, “it’s” means “it is.”
Don’t switch between third and first person.
Also, don’t label flashbacks.
You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.
Zero.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11006462/1/Corruptions-and-Saviors
Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.
You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.
[And now at age fourteen I was finally allowed to start my journey ]
Trainers start at ten.
[I wonder which starter I’ll have…I’ve heard that Professor Birch lives in this town and that he gives away starters though most people choose to find their own starters. ]
And why hasn’t the kid you claim loves pokemon and gets along amazingly well with them thought to try that? Or ask the gym leader she’s friendly with for one?
[He grinned. “My name’s Brendon. If you’d like, I could catch you a Pokémon later ]
You even remember that this is an option! Why hasn’t she ever done it? Starting with a banette instead of yet another save-Birch-get-starter like the other few thousand might’ve even managed to be interesting.
Four.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11006489/1/The-Best-No-One-Ever-Was-Kalos
You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.
Write out numbers with letters.
Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.
Your grammar is horrible.
Three.
Finished with Jan 28th and at the bottom of the first page!
Regarding the opening: perhaps the writers that insist on the game opening genuinely enjoy the formula? I’m not sure why, but it’s the only thing that makes sense to me.
No, easily half even have notes at the bottom about how the chapter was as boring to write as they expect it was for us to read, but that’s how first chapters are, sorry!
Maybe they are masochists sublimating their sexual desire into writing.
“Oh, yes, bore me more, Mistress!”
“Ooh, those semicolons hurt!”
If that were the case, you wouldn’t think they’d be so upset about Farla dressing them down for it…
As someone who wrote adventure fics like this, I can say it’s not about enjoying it, but 12 year old me (and probably most other 12 year olds in the fandom) didn’t consider originality before writing. It was the opening. People follow it because their rendition of the same sequence is original enough in their eyes.
I really wonder about the game openings. Is it that people don’t
bother to read anything else in the category but are still sure they’re
awesome writers everyone else will pay attention to? Or do they see it a
million times and think that those may suck but obviously theirs is
super interesting?
None of the above, I think. In my experience people see everyone else writing these kinds of things, and/or their favorite fanfic starts that way, and therefore assume that it must be a part of the genre definition. Like, of course if you want to do a journeyfic, you start it with a scene of them getting up and getting a starter, because that’s part of what makes it a journeyfic.
I’ve been reading more PMD fanfic recently, and there’s a very similar trend with starting the ‘fic with a personality quiz or with the protag waking up with amnesia, meeting their partner, and joining a guild. The personality test was generally picked up on, I think, because the most popular PMD ‘fic opens with one–I’ve seen people write in their author’s notes, “I saw ScytheRider start with the personality test, so I’m going to too!” Similarly, people seem to go with the waking-up-amnesia thing because that’s just how you do. Cargo-cult plotting.
The start of PMD ‘fics are no more intereseting than OT ‘fics on the whole. And they’re no more likely to go anywhere, either! They’re really very similar genres, although PMD actually gives you less of a formula to work with.
PMD?
Other than that, yeah, the Stations of Canon are a powerful force.
Familiar of Zero fics start with the summoning ceremony, Evangelion fics do Shinji arrival to Tokyo-3 and his first fight, Worm fics tend to start with the locker scene (which wasn’t even in canon, it’s backstory) and Taylor getting brand new powers, Harry Potter fics start with Harry dicking around at Dursleys’, etc.
Some fandoms have a set of standard beginnings, but the formula is present nearly everywhere.
It’s just lazy writing at its core. It’s much easier to alter the existing scene to add elements that appeal to you rather than write something original.
Pokémon Mystery Dungeon. They’re spinoff games where the protagonist is a former human who’s turned into a pokémon, has amnesia, and teams up with a pokémon partner to explore “mystery dungeons” and save the world.
You can usually tell them in Farla’s reviews because the title will be either “PMD: Something” or “Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Something” or “Explorers of Something.”
And sometimes, PMD: Explorers of Something.
See, all those things you listed are interesting! Summoning and new powers are both valid branching points, Tokyo-3 getting the shit smashed out of it is exciting, and the Dursleys manage seven books of being over the top horrible in new ways. Of all those, I didn’t even much like the Dursley sections, but they were good enough to open an actual published book with. Those are only bad because everyone does them, not because they’re terrible points to start even in isolation.
That’s so frustrating as well. You’re setting a fic in a world with no humans and where pokemon have set up their own villages and towns. There are so many interesting characters you could create in that setting, and yet people insist on doing the exact same damn thing as the games.
But none of the OT writers seem to even like it! I don’t even see many people saying that well POPULAR FIC X did it so they will too.
I mean, I hate PMD openings as much as anyone, but at least that one had a reasonable plotline by handheld videogame standards. Waking up with amnesia is way more interesting than waking up to eat breakfast, and there’s fewer apologies for how nothing happened. It’s an incredibly stupid mistake but at least the thing they were copying was once halfway interesting.
They don’t like it, but they think they have to have it anyway! That’s what an OT ‘fic is, don’t you understand? It’s not supposed to get interesting for at least ten chapters!
Actually, I’ve seen similar reasoning used to explain why first chapters in various fandoms are repetitive and, well, suck.
You see, people need to get the boring stuff out of the way first before they can move to the actual point of the story which is supposed to be interesting.
I guess otherwise they would be sued for violating the fair use laws (which include the clause that the derivative work must be start as boring or awful to scare most potential audience members off) or something.
You know, say what you will about OSC, but in the afterword of Ender’s Game, he talked about how when he finished writing it he wanted to write a sequel but ran into the problem that the sequel needed a lot of boring setup in the opening to make any sense, and then he realized that stuff should go at the ending of Ender’s Game instead.
And I was just ??? what does it matter??? write thing people read thing!!!
But I could tell he thought it was super important. Enough that he’d not only stressed over it, but so much it was what he was talking about at now. And it had been an actual issue in getting this published. And so it stuck in my brain that somehow, this person who wrote actual books believed opening with a lot of boring setup was a thing you just couldn’t do. So…maybe it was actually a thing you shouldn’t do? Huh.
Adding on to the boring game opening topic, I’ve reviewed several game based trainer fics telling them to get more creative. I’ve actually had some people argue with me about how changing it would be a crime to the source material (Granted, this argument doesn’t make sense, but I’ve gotten it).
I’d say that it’s just laziness, but eh.