https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11006796/1/Richard-s-Journey

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

[ My great, great grandmother committed a crime of mating with a Pokemon. More specifically, she mated with a Cloyster.  ]

That’s kind of impressive.

[Our family has been given the power to transform into another side of ourselves that has great powers.  ]

Here’s where it becomes a problem. Historically, you don’t figure out who the super-powerful people are and then discriminate against them. The idea people with super-cool powers are a persecuted minority tends to just be sueish. It doesn’t help that after getting run out of town and his dad murdered, he grows up getting education he doesn’t need and otherwise seeming like he has a pretty good life. Of course, it also doesn’t help that he doesn’t seem to care he got his dad killed.

Write out numbers with letters.

[ I opened to the first page, and it showed me reading the book. The next had me flipping to the second page. The third had me closing the book and taking the book home. ]

This is different than yet another overpowered pokemorph, so why tie it to something so overdone?

One.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11006898/1/Ash-s-New-School-Life-An-Amourshipping-Fanfic

Opening your story with a character waking up for the day is generic and horribly, horribly overdone, and to be honest, it’s so incredibly dull and boring a start that even if I hadn’t seen it, very literally here, hundreds upon hundreds of times before, I would still tell you you should have started at some other, interesting point. Also, no one will ever care what your character is eating for breakfast.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

One.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11007069/1/HELLO-MY-FELLOW-FANFICTION-READERS

Don’t post things that aren’t stories.

Three.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11007138/1/Pok%C3%A9mon-Love-by-Moonlight-Chapter-3

Don’t post chapters individually, it’s against the rules because it’s a stupid, stupid idea.

One. Also, apparently I didn’t even notice the previous one was a second chapter. Doing this late at night is a bad idea.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11007220/1/icicle-the-glaceon-glass-mirror-series-1

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

Paragraphing has rules. You start a new paragraph with a new subject. The goal is not to divide your story up into even blocks. Also, a new speaker means you start a new paragraph.

Try harder.

Two.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11007296/1/Growth

Excellent once again! It’s great to see a trainer who loves his pokemon but just isn’t good at the whole being a trainer thing. And after everything I’ve read this month, it’s also really nice to have the girl in the pair be the one aiming to be champion. I love how cute Didi sounds at all times, from beginning to the very end. It seems so innocent.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11007566/1/Let-s-Dance

[Ooh, so tempting! No May, you never eat any big or fatty foods before a recital!]

So actually dancers end up with horrible eating disorders and sometimes outright die because of these kinds of ideas and it’s really not something to portray positively. Dancing uses up a lot of energy and you need to eat food for that.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

One.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11007601/1/A-New-Beginning

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11007603/1/How-to-Be-a-Pok%C3%A9mon-Trainer

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

[Most residents of the village were aware of the young Ainsworth’s living situation. Everyone knew the boy by name and banded together to provide for him. But despite this fact, he never had very many friends. While the people were well within the light about him having his own small house, many, if not, most, were in the dark about everything else. Parents were ignorant to the true reason that the boy lived alone, thinking he was some kind of delinquent or ruffian of some sort that drove his parents away.
The people couldn’t be further from the truth, and those that speculated such horrible things were more than often the ones that never had any contact with him. A great portion of the boy’s social status in the town was the product of unfortunate gossip. But the people that knew him, they were the ones that could always vouch for him. ]

This is ridiculousness piled atop ridiculousness. It’s small enough to be a village and everyone knows his dad is almost never home, but no one knows why? And somehow instead of blaming the parent for being neglectful they assume the kid was so awful he convinced his dad to buy some house elsewhere and leave him in the current one? And also everyone who actually knows him thinks he’s a sweetie, but most people don’t despite the fact it’s a small enough village that everyone knows about him in the first place?

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

[The wild Pokémon quickly took the large baguette and started for the door where it saw the afternoon sun pouring in, but it stopped. Something inside of it compelled it to refrain from leaving. The human did seem sorry for what it did. He also couldn’t have been that bad if he was feeding it. Emolga became conflicted, as it had a general distrust for humans, but the one sitting in front of him defied that distrust.
Bailey let out a depressed sigh as he sat there, staring at the other side of the hallway in front of him, waiting for the Emolga to leave. Suddenly, crumbs, followed by the remainder of the baguette, fell onto his curly blonde hair and into his lap. “Wh- What?” he asked no one in particular as the wild Pokémon crawled into his lap and broke a piece of the baguette off and handed it to him, wild no more.]

This is rather rushed.

If he wants to make friends with it, he could just go through the normal way you make friends with real wild animals – you keep putting out food and keep trying to get it to come closer, and yes, it takes days. All you need to the emolga to come back is for it to understand that this place has food and a human it’s wary of but that hasn’t tried to hurt it yet. It doesn’t need to change its entire outlook in the space of a few minutes.

Don’t ask for OCs. Make up your own characters that actually fit the story.

[3. Due to serious overusage, PLEASE try to keep the following Pokémon limited (meaning don’t have a team primarily made up of these Pokémon): Pichu, Pikachu, Raichu, Treecko, Grovyle, Sceptile, Riolu, Lucario, Mega Lucario, Gligar, Gliscor, Pidgey, Pidgeotto, Pidgeot, Torchic, Combusken, Blaziken, Mega Blaziken, Shinx, Luxio, Luxray, Gible, Gabite, Garchomp, Bagon, Shelgon, Salamence, Cyndaquil, Quilava, Typhlosion. It is completely fine if you wish to use any of these Pokémon on your character(s) team, but please… I’d really rather not have every single trainer have a Lucario, if you know what I mean. ]

And I don’t know why I even have to tell you this when clearly you see the problem it’s causing here. If you’re making up the teams, you can make sure to only use a given pokemon once or avoid the common ones entirely.

Five.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11007612/1/Evolutionary-Problems

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

Two.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11007614/1/Millefeui-Eats-Napoleon-Cake

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

Paragraphing has rules. You start a new paragraph with a new subject. The goal is not to divide your story up into even blocks. Also, a new speaker means you start a new paragraph.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11007879/1/Galactic-Misadventures

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Four.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11008088/1/a-new-pokemon-life

Lrn2troll.

One:
Emolgaa chapter 1 . Jan 29
Hey! I’m here to review your story. I’m going to point out several things about this fic.
Firstly, try paragraphing your story a bit more. For example:

“Hello!”

“Hey!” she said, smiling.

See that? Try to put a paragraph after almost every dialogue.
Also, spelling. If the little red squiggly line appears under your misspelled word, google it and check for its correct spelling.
Next, try to capitalise words such as names and Pokémon: eg. David, Charmander, Riolu.
Also, don’t add in face emojis as that kinda ruins the story (you put in a T_T).
Another thing: to describe actions and such, don’t ‘*’ it, because you could just describe instead.
EG. [ *pinches self* ] David, unsure whether this was a dream, pinched himself in the arm.
You understand now? Thanks for reading, I’m sure you have a lot of potential and you’re able to write better.

So. Emolgaa spent a couple PMs insisting it is a known fact that niceness works better than my way, so I told them to go review a few hundred their way and we’d see if more people improved. They responded saying they’d reviewed one fic, no link. Apparently it was this one, and apparently this is what they said. They are a very disappointing person.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11008200/1/Pokemon-Omega-Ruby-Alpha-Sapphire

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Paragraphing has rules. You start a new paragraph with a new subject. The goal is not to divide your story up into even blocks. Also, a new speaker means you start a new paragraph.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

And if you don’t care about grammar you shouldn’t be posting on a site that lists it as something important.

This chapter is a boring waste of time. Everyone has seen the opening already and nothing new happened here. If you have any sort of plot, skip to that starting.

Stupid people, again, there is a damn link in my profile to the ban page. Use it.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11008253/1/A-Confession

[Ash and Misty both 16. Ash is older by a month]

Misty is canonically older. Why is it so important to you that you rewrite things to make Ash older?

Also, you should never need to list ages at all. If it matters, it should come up in the story.

Stop capitalizing random words.

Semicolons do not indicate sophisticated or intelligent writing, even when grammatically correct. Use sentence-connecting semicolons sparingly, judiciously, and only when the ideas in the clauses are inseparable. If you have a semicolon sitting between a pair of sentences because the sentences are kind of, sort of related, it just makes you look pretentious.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

Four.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11008505/1/Pokemon-Black-and-White

Opening your story with a character waking up for the day is generic and horribly, horribly overdone, and to be honest, it’s so incredibly dull and boring a start that even if I hadn’t seen it, very literally here, hundreds upon hundreds of times before, I would still tell you you should have started at some other, interesting point.

Write out numbers with letters.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

[ the Oshawatt  ]
[ “Now snivy! Use leer!” ]

If it’s being used as a pokemon’s name, it’s capitalized, if it’s not, no capital. Similar reasoning applies to every other word, like how “mom” should be “Mom” when used in place of a name.

We’ve all seen the opening of the game, both playing it and seeing the million people before you copy it as the opening of their fics. If you have an actual plot, skip to it, if you don’t, stop writing until you’ve thought of one.

Zero.

This completes Jan 29th!

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11008713/1/The-Garbage-Man

This seems like a snippet of something longer – the garbodor is searching through trash for items to keep, finds a flashlight it decides is great..and that’s it. Doesn’t go anywhere.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11008749/1/Pok%C3%A9mon-Mystery-Dungeon-End

[Please, let me know what you think of the prologue. I can’t promise you it’s going to the the same one every time! I tend to come up with better ideas as a prologue when I progress in my story. I know that’s REALLY bad.. But hey. Anyway, tell me what you think!) ]

I think in that case you should’ve kept writing the story without posting it until you were far enough in you knew what you were doing.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Two.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11008359/1/Pokemon-Mystery-Dungeon-Spiral-of-Dreams

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

One.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11008781/1/Clemont-Gets-a-Letter

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

Semicolons do not indicate sophisticated or intelligent writing, even when grammatically correct. Use sentence-connecting semicolons sparingly, judiciously, and only when the ideas in the clauses are inseparable. If you have a semicolon sitting between a pair of sentences because the sentences are kind of, sort of related, it just makes you look pretentious.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11008846/1/The-Scandal

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

Three.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11008902/1/What-Have-You-Done

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

[while I go take a leek.” ]

Leek is a vegetable. Is Jupiter heading off to steal one from a farfetch’d or something?

“Your” is possessive, “you’re” is short for “you are”.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

One.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11008955/1/Defenders-of-Evodusai

Paragraphing has rules. You start a new paragraph with a new subject. The goal is not to divide your story up into even blocks. Also, a new speaker means you start a new paragraph.

Also, stop using “stated”.

[Knowing that fire was almost useless in this situation, I cursed under my breath and turned to Liru. “Just listen to me and we’ll be fine,” I ordered. “Since they all share a weakness with water, you’ll have to do the fighting while I tell you what to do.” ]

Not even transformation fics can avoid falling into the human orders the pokemon around, I guess.

[ “But momma, you fed and took care of me when I was little. Whenever I was alone, you were the only one who showed up when I started crying. Then when you let me follow you around, I saw how hard you worked and it inspired me to become the pokemon that I am today.” Moving closer to me, Liru grasped both my paws and held them up to chest height. “No matter what you look like, you’ll always be my mommy.” ]

This would be cuter if not for the question of where her actual mom was and how she felt about having her egg stolen right after laying it and then never seeing her child, and how wouldn’t the actual mother who could understand her have done a better job of comforting a crying baby?

Also, any time you’re using something as a name, it’s capitalized as one.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11008990/1/Pokemon-Wrath-of-the-champion-quest-to-be-the-best

Capitalize your title properly.

Opening your story with a character waking up for the day is generic and horribly, horribly overdone, and to be honest, it’s so incredibly dull and boring a start that even if I hadn’t seen it, very literally here, hundreds upon hundreds of times before, I would still tell you you should have started at some other, interesting point. Also, no one will ever care what your character is eating for breakfast.

Write out numbers with letters.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

[‘Char!’ Out popped a shiny golden Charmander! ]

That’s pretty sueish.

[‘And also this.’
I looked back at Dad, he handed me the dive ball which was in his possession. I had a feeling this would not be as pleasant, maybe it would but once again hesitant to release the Pokémon within.
‘Don’t be so timid, they both aren’t harsh.’
‘Oh ok.’ Then I hurled it on the ground and out popped the Pokémon…
It was larger, a big blue serpent staring at me with large black eyes.
‘Dratini!’]

Really going for the gold there.

[‘A keystone?’
‘Yes for mega evolution, are you aware?]

Wow.

So, your character getting a first pokemon isn’t inherently interesting, and your character getting handed a pile of stuff is even worse.

There’s no reason for a shiny pokemon but to show off how special your character is and establish they’re a shallow person who doesn’t actually care about their pokemon. And dratini are horribly overused for being so rare, so that’s about as bad. Mega evolution is also supposed to be rare and he can’t even use it yet, but you still gave it to him because god forbid anyone think that maybe he wouldn’t be able to do that.

Characters being handed stuff they did nothing to earn isn’t interesting, characters doing things to get it is. Even assuming this stuff wasn’t insanely sueish and was an okay idea in general, if you find yourself writing a “story” that’s just your character standing there getting stuff, delete it and write what happens after, when your actual plot starts and things are actually happening.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11009074/1/Hikki-s-Background-Story

Write out numbers with letters.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

Paragraphing has rules. You start a new paragraph with a new subject. The goal is not to divide your story up into even blocks. Also, a new speaker means you start a new paragraph.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

“Its” is possessive, “it’s” means “it is.”

This is really not a story so much as a giant lump of sueishness. Stories have things happening. This has your favorite character from another universe entirely appearing for no reason to give your character something cool.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11009195/1/Ghosts-of-the-Liepard

This really seems like original fiction.

Ten.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11009367/1/The-Legend-of-Whitney

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

Rearranging your word order to sound more like Yoda just makes things sound stupid.

“Its” is possessive, “it’s” means “it is.”

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11009627/1/Unbound

Hm. The opening of this about how pokemon play-fight with their own kind because conflict between species is life or death is interesting, but then once you have the pokemon assembling they all seem to be acting no different than humans from different towns. Longwisp’s even friends with a pokemon of another species and he stops her from fighting further by grabbing her despite the fact that kind of behavior should be one of those “within their own kind only” things.

I quite like Longwisp and Fogscale’s almost as great, but everyone just seems to be getting along far too well for how you say things work. They’re not wary of each other despite the fact Longwisp goes on to describe her people’s rite of passage involves finding and murdering some impressive other pokemon and making it into a trophy. She’s literally hopping up and down threatening other fighters and they react like reasonably chill humans lining up for a tournament rather than a pack of predatory animals in a world where different species regularly turn each other into accessories.

One.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11009696/1/The-Champion-s-Protege

[“S”= Speech
‘T’= Thoughts
“PS”= Pokemon Speech
‘PT’= Pokemon Thoughts
]

Why on earth would you need different notation for pokemon and regular thoughts? They’re thoughts. Also, don’t put anything around them. Italics works fine, ‘ makes them look like they’re being spoken.

Four.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11009723/1/Sands-of-Eternity-Embers-of-Gold

Got them already.

One.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11009805/1/Pok%C3%A9mon-Mystery-Dungeon-Wish-of-Ice

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

Three.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11010048/1/Pok%C3%A9mon-Gold-Silver-and-Crystal-A-Reason-to-Live

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Zero.

Somewhat into Page 1, so I’ll quit for the night.