Twelve pages, completing the 28th.
You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse
or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu
or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re
using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu.
This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which
are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be
applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like
telephone or trainer. Or professor.
or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu
or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re
using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu.
This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which
are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be
applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like
telephone or trainer. Or professor.
Seriously, yet another shiny eevee?
Why?
Why?
And now sudden super extra sue
evolution, complete with super extra sue angst.
evolution, complete with super extra sue angst.
[UBER SHORT ! KNOW!]
If you know then you should have
written more before you posted.
written more before you posted.
(3)
You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse
or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu
or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re
using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu.
This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which
are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be
applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like
telephone or trainer. Or professor.
or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu
or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re
using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu.
This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which
are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be
applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like
telephone or trainer. Or professor.
[Heatran even fought seriously which
was rare considering he was a transvestite who was out for blood,
especially after meeting Terrakion. ]
was rare considering he was a transvestite who was out for blood,
especially after meeting Terrakion. ]
What exactly does being a transvestite
have to do with the rest of the sentence?
have to do with the rest of the sentence?
This is way, way too short for a
chapter.
chapter.
(1)
Both of these involved the author
reviewing themself.
reviewing themself.
Write out numbers with letters.
Huh. Well, your style is interesting
but a little too longwinded, even considering how cathartic it is to
see the author get beat up for trying to drag things away from the
action. A lot of your sentences are understandable but kind of
awkward as well.
but a little too longwinded, even considering how cathartic it is to
see the author get beat up for trying to drag things away from the
action. A lot of your sentences are understandable but kind of
awkward as well.
Still, I like the way so much stuff is
happening at him.
happening at him.
[“It was just a horrible
nightmare. Oh gosh! But it was so real! T-there were all these eyes
chasing me, and then this boulder — o-only it wasn’t actually a
boulder at all! It was th-this, th-this… thing, this
monster!”
nightmare. Oh gosh! But it was so real! T-there were all these eyes
chasing me, and then this boulder — o-only it wasn’t actually a
boulder at all! It was th-this, th-this… thing, this
monster!”
“Old Kragg,” corrected the old man.
“Sorry. Old Kragg. And then the eyes came out from the
shadows, but they weren’t actually eyes either! They were monsters,
too! In my dream th-there were these giant, er, flapping… umm…
purple…”
“Purple?”
“Terrifyingly violet.”
“Venomoth, then.”
“Well, these venomoth were just, just everywhere really, and
making horrible noises. It was awful. And there were these creatures
with bones on the outside of their bodies and horns on their—”
“Houndoom,” interjected the old man.
“W-what?”
“The pokemon you’re talking about.” The old man yawned.
“They’re the ones who dropped you off here.”
“Oh, yes. Of course. Umm…” Robert scratched his chin.
“W-where was I?”
“I don’t care. Go to sleep,” said the old man]
This is hilarious. Also, I really like
that the scary protective superpokemon is just a high level onix and
not a legendary.
that the scary protective superpokemon is just a high level onix and
not a legendary.
[“You’re trial.” ]
“Your” is possessive, as in,
your story, “you’re” means “you are”.
your story, “you’re” means “you are”.
(1)
Try harder.
(0)
You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse
or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu
or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re
using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu.
This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which
are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be
applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like
telephone or trainer. Or professor.
or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu
or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re
using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu.
This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which
are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be
applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like
telephone or trainer. Or professor.
“Its” is possessive, as in
“its story”, and “it’s” means “it is”.
“its story”, and “it’s” means “it is”.
[“What do you want?” N
demanded, trying to keep calm. He reached for the Poké Balls he
carried with him.
demanded, trying to keep calm. He reached for the Poké Balls he
carried with him.
“I don’t think you want to do that,” another of them
said in a threatening tone.
N felt two pairs of hands grab his arms. Before he could do
anything, he was dragged down, and pinned to the ground. Two of the
Shadow Triad held him down, while the third stood over him.]
N really doesn’t seem to keep his
pokemon in pokeballs all the time. He shouldn’t be incapacitated by
something like this. And you just go on to have him say he’ll battle
them so they let him go, which makes even less sense.
pokemon in pokeballs all the time. He shouldn’t be incapacitated by
something like this. And you just go on to have him say he’ll battle
them so they let him go, which makes even less sense.
[N gasped. The Stones! The Dragon
Pokémon! He had already given them up! The green-haired man
swallowed hard. ]
Pokémon! He had already given them up! The green-haired man
swallowed hard. ]
There isn’t any problem if he doesn’t
have them. He might want to bluff anyway if he doesn’t want them
going after the other hero, but he shouldn’t be terrified they won’t
be able to steal something from him.
have them. He might want to bluff anyway if he doesn’t want them
going after the other hero, but he shouldn’t be terrified they won’t
be able to steal something from him.
[putting away his Poké Balls, and
backing away.
backing away.
“But we don’t really play by the rules,” The Shadow
continued.
N was suddenly attacked. The Shadow Triad forced him down and
ripped at his clothes, searching for the Stones. But they found
nothing but N’s Poké Balls, which they decided to take. ]
This is further illustrating why it
really doesn’t make much sense for N to be keeping his pokemon in
pokeballs all the time.
really doesn’t make much sense for N to be keeping his pokemon in
pokeballs all the time.
Look, N is not exactly skilled at human
interaction. If you want them to be able to steal his pokemon, they
can probably talk him into recalling them quite easily. But have them
do it instead of having N just do it because you say so.
interaction. If you want them to be able to steal his pokemon, they
can probably talk him into recalling them quite easily. But have them
do it instead of having N just do it because you say so.
Seriously he’s such a pushover.
(0)
You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse
or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu
or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re
using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu.
This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which
are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be
applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like
telephone or trainer. Or professor.
or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu
or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re
using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu.
This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which
are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be
applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like
telephone or trainer. Or professor.
[Ah yes, I forgot to mention that.
Stephen can talk to Pokémon. Using his ability, Stephen could always
seem to connect with his Pokémon just a little easier than most
other trainers. ]
Stephen can talk to Pokémon. Using his ability, Stephen could always
seem to connect with his Pokémon just a little easier than most
other trainers. ]
So the ability to understand them and
deal with them as equals makes him slightly better at connecting with
his pokemon? Exactly how incompetent is he?
deal with them as equals makes him slightly better at connecting with
his pokemon? Exactly how incompetent is he?
It’s okay, four letters.
Dialogue is written as “Hello,”
she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She
said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or
“Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next
sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, in which case it’s written as
“Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned
or “Hello,” She grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech
verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally
stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore,
if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she
said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this
is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” or
“Hi,” she said “This is it.” And if you’re
breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she
said, “is it.” Also, remember that generally “said”
is the best speech verb to use, and even more importantly, “stated”
is not.
she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She
said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or
“Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next
sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, in which case it’s written as
“Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned
or “Hello,” She grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech
verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally
stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore,
if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she
said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this
is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” or
“Hi,” she said “This is it.” And if you’re
breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she
said, “is it.” Also, remember that generally “said”
is the best speech verb to use, and even more importantly, “stated”
is not.
[“You really DO take after your
father, you know that?” Stephen retorted, making his Elekid
cross its arms and turn away at its father, Stephen’s Electivire,
being mentioned. “Right… I forgot.” Stephen mentally
reprimanded himself “Elekid doesn’t like it when I compare him
to his father. Maybe he gets jealous or something?” ]
father, you know that?” Stephen retorted, making his Elekid
cross its arms and turn away at its father, Stephen’s Electivire,
being mentioned. “Right… I forgot.” Stephen mentally
reprimanded himself “Elekid doesn’t like it when I compare him
to his father. Maybe he gets jealous or something?” ]
Yeah, I can really see how this idiot
would have trouble connecting to his pokemon.
would have trouble connecting to his pokemon.
[He was rather tall for his age. At a
mere 19 years old ]
mere 19 years old ]
At nineteen, it stops being “tall
for your age” and just becomes tall.
for your age” and just becomes tall.
Write out numbers with letters.
[Down his back, Stephen wore a grey
cape that had a darker grey for a border and went all the way down to
just above his ankles. In the middle on the Cape was a blue shield
with a golden dragon encircling it. It symbolized the long term goal
that Stephen held dearly to his heart. His last, if also most
distinguishable trait, was that Stephen had violet eyes. ]
cape that had a darker grey for a border and went all the way down to
just above his ankles. In the middle on the Cape was a blue shield
with a golden dragon encircling it. It symbolized the long term goal
that Stephen held dearly to his heart. His last, if also most
distinguishable trait, was that Stephen had violet eyes. ]
So he’s an enormous sue. Humans don’t
have violet eyes.
have violet eyes.
Oh, and also Suicune is stalking him.
[“Hold on tight Serena!”
Grace called to her daughter. Inside a large, fenced-in field, Serena
was trying in desperation to stay upright on the back of a bucking
Rhyhorn. This was typical morning training as Grace had her daughter
dress in the typical outfit of a Rhyhorn racer and try to ride the
family Rhyhorn. ]
Grace called to her daughter. Inside a large, fenced-in field, Serena
was trying in desperation to stay upright on the back of a bucking
Rhyhorn. This was typical morning training as Grace had her daughter
dress in the typical outfit of a Rhyhorn racer and try to ride the
family Rhyhorn. ]
Serena gets along fine with the rhyhorn
and also it’s a rock type with a speed of terrible, it’s not exactly
going to be able to buck quickly like a horse or bull.
and also it’s a rock type with a speed of terrible, it’s not exactly
going to be able to buck quickly like a horse or bull.
When used in place of a name, it’s
written Mom, in any other constructions like my/her/the mom it’s
written as such.
written Mom, in any other constructions like my/her/the mom it’s
written as such.
[“Yes. It’s her 18th birthday
tomorrow and I was thinking she might learn a lot from going on a
Pokémon journey.” Grace stated, pointing out the fact that the
journeying age was 18 in Kalos, unlike the usual 10 in the other
regions. ]
tomorrow and I was thinking she might learn a lot from going on a
Pokémon journey.” Grace stated, pointing out the fact that the
journeying age was 18 in Kalos, unlike the usual 10 in the other
regions. ]
No it isn’t, you see plenty of tiny kid
trainers in the game.
trainers in the game.
Where is the Serena is cruelly
forced into rhyhorn racing coming from? Is there something in the
anime?
forced into rhyhorn racing coming from? Is there something in the
anime?
(0)
[There
is sex in this story, so turn back if you don’t like sex. Disclaimer:
I am a male and am not gay. Please do not judge my personality by
fanfictions, no matter how messed-up they may be. ]
is sex in this story, so turn back if you don’t like sex. Disclaimer:
I am a male and am not gay. Please do not judge my personality by
fanfictions, no matter how messed-up they may be. ]
I’m
not judging you for there being sex, I’m judging you for rating this
K.
not judging you for there being sex, I’m judging you for rating this
K.
You wouldn’t
capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize
words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should
capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s
pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when
it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar
reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of
capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.
capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize
words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should
capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s
pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when
it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar
reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of
capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.
Paragraphing has
rules. You start a new paragraph with a new subject. The goal is not
to divide your story up into even blocks. Also, a new speaker means
you start a new paragraph.
rules. You start a new paragraph with a new subject. The goal is not
to divide your story up into even blocks. Also, a new speaker means
you start a new paragraph.
And now it’s
crappily explicit porn, which is outright banned on the site, in
something labeled for kindergarteners. Good job giving kids low
standards for porn, I guess?
crappily explicit porn, which is outright banned on the site, in
something labeled for kindergarteners. Good job giving kids low
standards for porn, I guess?
(2)
You wouldn’t
capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize
words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should
capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s
pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when
it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar
reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of
capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.
capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize
words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should
capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s
pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when
it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar
reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of
capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.
Semicolons
do not indicate sophisticated or intelligent writing, even when
grammatically correct. Use sentence-connecting semicolons sparingly,
judiciously, and only when the ideas in the clauses are inseparable.
If you have a semicolon sitting between a pair of sentences because
the sentences are kind of, sort of related, it just makes you look
pretentious.
do not indicate sophisticated or intelligent writing, even when
grammatically correct. Use sentence-connecting semicolons sparingly,
judiciously, and only when the ideas in the clauses are inseparable.
If you have a semicolon sitting between a pair of sentences because
the sentences are kind of, sort of related, it just makes you look
pretentious.
[When she told them what happened, her
mother told her to “go to those occult people and live in their
demon shack.” There was no such place, but her mother refused to
believe her and hung up on her. Clover tried to appeal to her father,
but he was too submissive to her mother’s wishes and just told Clover
to “take care of herself.” ]
mother told her to “go to those occult people and live in their
demon shack.” There was no such place, but her mother refused to
believe her and hung up on her. Clover tried to appeal to her father,
but he was too submissive to her mother’s wishes and just told Clover
to “take care of herself.” ]
And mothers continue to be the source
of all evil in fanfic. And if her dad can’t go against her mom
directly, he could still send her money or try to find another
relative who’d take her or lots of other things.
of all evil in fanfic. And if her dad can’t go against her mom
directly, he could still send her money or try to find another
relative who’d take her or lots of other things.
Dialogue is written as “Hello,”
she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She
said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or
“Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next
sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, in which case it’s written as
“Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned
or “Hello,” She grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech
verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally
stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore,
if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she
said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this
is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” or
“Hi,” she said “This is it.” And if you’re
breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she
said, “is it.” Also, remember that generally “said”
is the best speech verb to use, and even more importantly, “stated”
is not.
she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She
said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or
“Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next
sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, in which case it’s written as
“Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned
or “Hello,” She grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech
verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally
stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore,
if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she
said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this
is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” or
“Hi,” she said “This is it.” And if you’re
breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she
said, “is it.” Also, remember that generally “said”
is the best speech verb to use, and even more importantly, “stated”
is not.
[Clover thought over and over about
giving him to Nurse Joy and letting him have a better life, but she
couldn’t bring herself to do it. ]
giving him to Nurse Joy and letting him have a better life, but she
couldn’t bring herself to do it. ]
They feed trainers and their pokemon
for free there. She wouldn’t have to give him up. They also let
trainers stay for free. If there’s some reason she can’t take
advantage of this, you really need to explain that.
for free there. She wouldn’t have to give him up. They also let
trainers stay for free. If there’s some reason she can’t take
advantage of this, you really need to explain that.
The idea of a story about a homeless
girl and her pokemon isn’t bad, and you wring a lot of misery out of
it, but you really need to spend more time justifying the setup.
She’s kicked out for a stupid reason, her evil mom also hates her for
the same stupid reason, her dad can do absolutely nothing else to
make her life better, and somehow she’s unable to take advantage of
any resources for trainers.
girl and her pokemon isn’t bad, and you wring a lot of misery out of
it, but you really need to spend more time justifying the setup.
She’s kicked out for a stupid reason, her evil mom also hates her for
the same stupid reason, her dad can do absolutely nothing else to
make her life better, and somehow she’s unable to take advantage of
any resources for trainers.
(5)
[It was cold. It was too cold. So cold
it had started to burn, and her fingers were numb and blue. Her skin
was pale and frozen, to the extent that she doubted her own ability
to move. ]
it had started to burn, and her fingers were numb and blue. Her skin
was pale and frozen, to the extent that she doubted her own ability
to move. ]
She’d be well past the point where the
cold burned, then.
cold burned, then.
You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse
or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu
or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re
using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu.
This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which
are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be
applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like
telephone or trainer. Or professor.
or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu
or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re
using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu.
This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which
are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be
applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like
telephone or trainer. Or professor.
Dialogue is written as “Hello,”
she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She
said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or
“Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next
sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, in which case it’s written as
“Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned
or “Hello,” She grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech
verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally
stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore,
if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she
said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this
is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” or
“Hi,” she said “This is it.” And if you’re
breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she
said, “is it.” Also, remember that generally “said”
is the best speech verb to use, and even more importantly, “stated”
is not.
she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She
said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or
“Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next
sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, in which case it’s written as
“Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned
or “Hello,” She grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech
verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally
stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore,
if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she
said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this
is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” or
“Hi,” she said “This is it.” And if you’re
breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she
said, “is it.” Also, remember that generally “said”
is the best speech verb to use, and even more importantly, “stated”
is not.
I don’t think freezing is really the
best way of doing this. If it’s cold enough she’s going to inevitably
freeze to death, why would the rest of them do any better at
surviving? If they’re not going to freeze, she’s an idiot for not
having them out. And if they can move about safely but somehow just
can’t move her, she could’ve released them hours ago and sent them
off for help. If you want a dead trainer and her pokemon continuing
on, a sudden death works much better.
best way of doing this. If it’s cold enough she’s going to inevitably
freeze to death, why would the rest of them do any better at
surviving? If they’re not going to freeze, she’s an idiot for not
having them out. And if they can move about safely but somehow just
can’t move her, she could’ve released them hours ago and sent them
off for help. If you want a dead trainer and her pokemon continuing
on, a sudden death works much better.
(0)
Write
out numbers with letters.
out numbers with letters.
You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse
or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu
or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re
using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu.
This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which
are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be
applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like
telephone or trainer. Or professor.
or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu
or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re
using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu.
This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which
are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be
applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like
telephone or trainer. Or professor.
Dialogue is written as “Hello,”
she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She
said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or
“Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next
sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, in which case it’s written as
“Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned
or “Hello,” She grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech
verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally
stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore,
if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she
said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this
is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” or
“Hi,” she said “This is it.” And if you’re
breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she
said, “is it.” Also, remember that generally “said”
is the best speech verb to use, and even more importantly, “stated”
is not.
she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She
said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or
“Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next
sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, in which case it’s written as
“Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned
or “Hello,” She grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech
verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally
stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore,
if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she
said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this
is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” or
“Hi,” she said “This is it.” And if you’re
breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she
said, “is it.” Also, remember that generally “said”
is the best speech verb to use, and even more importantly, “stated”
is not.
[The two were not, by any means, close.
Over the years, Dean had almost come to see Thane as a sort of
guardian. Where ever he went, whatever he did, Thane was always there
with his disapproving gaze. Thane, for his part, saw Dean the same
way he did when they had met five years ago: a confused and scared
child. ]
Over the years, Dean had almost come to see Thane as a sort of
guardian. Where ever he went, whatever he did, Thane was always there
with his disapproving gaze. Thane, for his part, saw Dean the same
way he did when they had met five years ago: a confused and scared
child. ]
So is there a reason he’s not bothered
to catch any other pokemon?
to catch any other pokemon?
[Thane let out a savage growl, and let
loose a storm of razor sharp leaves which surprised even Dean. Leaf
blade was usually more controlled than what Thane had just did- this
attack was… well, it was more or less the same thing, but there was
genuine animosity behind it.
loose a storm of razor sharp leaves which surprised even Dean. Leaf
blade was usually more controlled than what Thane had just did- this
attack was… well, it was more or less the same thing, but there was
genuine animosity behind it.
The electrike attempted to dodge but was nearly ripped apart by
the attack, and soon lay on the ground bleeding.
“What the hell-” the masked man gasped.
The electrike started to get to it’s feet, but before Dean could
even give an order,Thane rushed forward and slammed into the poor
thing, sending it crashing into a nearby shelf. There was no doubt
about it- it certainly wasn’t getting up this time.]
So…his pokemon’s blind rage dealing
with the criminal group means it murders their pokemon and makes not
so much as a threatening motion toward the humans?
with the criminal group means it murders their pokemon and makes not
so much as a threatening motion toward the humans?
(2)
[Fairy type pokémon appear as small,
adorable and even usually pink. Some of the type can be larger and
try to be menacing, but although they try, they can rarely get pass
their… well… cuteness. And this reason alone surprises all by
what they can do.
adorable and even usually pink. Some of the type can be larger and
try to be menacing, but although they try, they can rarely get pass
their… well… cuteness. And this reason alone surprises all by
what they can do.
Although they appear harmless, the fairy type seems to hold the
power to defeat some of the strongest types. Amazement falls in the
eyes of those who watch as the type becomes nothing next to
harmlessness.]
What?
Plenty of fairy types look freaky or
sinister, and plenty of non-fairy types look cute. Furthermore,
“types” aren’t strong, pokemon are strong.
sinister, and plenty of non-fairy types look cute. Furthermore,
“types” aren’t strong, pokemon are strong.
(0)
Look,
you really, really shouldn’t ask for characters. Doesn’t work right.
You get people doing all sorts of characters, and they may each be
fine but they don’t fit together properly. It’s like trying to
complete a hundred-piece puzzle by taking fifty of the pieces from
fifty other puzzles. They may all be good puzzles, and you may pick
only the prettiest pieces, but you’re going to end up with a mess.
you really, really shouldn’t ask for characters. Doesn’t work right.
You get people doing all sorts of characters, and they may each be
fine but they don’t fit together properly. It’s like trying to
complete a hundred-piece puzzle by taking fifty of the pieces from
fifty other puzzles. They may all be good puzzles, and you may pick
only the prettiest pieces, but you’re going to end up with a mess.
Spellcheck.
Dialogue is written as “Hello,”
she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She
said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or
“Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next
sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, in which case it’s written as
“Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned
or “Hello,” She grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech
verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally
stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore,
if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she
said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this
is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” or
“Hi,” she said “This is it.” And if you’re
breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she
said, “is it.” Also, remember that generally “said”
is the best speech verb to use, and even more importantly, “stated”
is not.
she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She
said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or
“Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next
sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, in which case it’s written as
“Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned
or “Hello,” She grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech
verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally
stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore,
if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she
said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this
is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” or
“Hi,” she said “This is it.” And if you’re
breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she
said, “is it.” Also, remember that generally “said”
is the best speech verb to use, and even more importantly, “stated”
is not.
Write out numbers with letters.
[“Can I inject it into you?”
Scarlet asked. Mackenzie nodded. “You’ll be half dragonair and
half human, you know,” Scarlet pointed out.
Scarlet asked. Mackenzie nodded. “You’ll be half dragonair and
half human, you know,” Scarlet pointed out.
“I know. I’ve been wanting to be your test subject. I’ve
always wondered what it was like to be a pokemon.]
Test subject means they don’t actually
know if it’ll do anything or if it might be fatal. There’s more to
this sort of thing than just if you’d like the ideal outcome, or else
they wouldn’t need to bother testing.
know if it’ll do anything or if it might be fatal. There’s more to
this sort of thing than just if you’d like the ideal outcome, or else
they wouldn’t need to bother testing.
This is way too short to be a proper
chapter.
chapter.
(4. Amusingly, everyone’s ignoring
the request for eeveelution characters.)
the request for eeveelution characters.)
Dialogue is written as “Hello,”
she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She
said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or
“Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next
sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, in which case it’s written as
“Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned
or “Hello,” She grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech
verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally
stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore,
if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she
said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this
is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” or
“Hi,” she said “This is it.” And if you’re
breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she
said, “is it.” Also, remember that generally “said”
is the best speech verb to use, and even more importantly, “stated”
is not.
she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She
said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or
“Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next
sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, in which case it’s written as
“Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned
or “Hello,” She grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech
verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally
stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore,
if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she
said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this
is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” or
“Hi,” she said “This is it.” And if you’re
breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she
said, “is it.” Also, remember that generally “said”
is the best speech verb to use, and even more importantly, “stated”
is not.
Don’t put author notes in your story
ever.
ever.
You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse
or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu
or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re
using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu.
This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which
are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be
applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like
telephone or trainer. Or professor.
or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu
or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re
using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu.
This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which
are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be
applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like
telephone or trainer. Or professor.
(0)
[This is the beginning of the story of
the journey of an Umbreon, Glaceon, Torchic and a Latios. WARNING!
This is not the real journey as it is a funny version of the real
story. Deaths will be frequent and the pokémon will unexplainably
come back to life randomly ]
the journey of an Umbreon, Glaceon, Torchic and a Latios. WARNING!
This is not the real journey as it is a funny version of the real
story. Deaths will be frequent and the pokémon will unexplainably
come back to life randomly ]
Well, that sounds like it’ll suck, so
thanks for the warning. I’ll avoid reading the rest of the story.
thanks for the warning. I’ll avoid reading the rest of the story.
(1)
Having obeyed don’t-like-don’t-read
I’ll probably get yelled at for judging a story by the author’s note
or something.
I’ll probably get yelled at for judging a story by the author’s note
or something.
Stop capitalizing random words.
[I held the copy in my hands, smiling
like a child who had just used the potty for the first time. ]
like a child who had just used the potty for the first time. ]
What?
Dialogue is written as “Hello,”
she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She
said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or
“Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next
sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, in which case it’s written as
“Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned
or “Hello,” She grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech
verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally
stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore,
if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she
said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this
is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” or
“Hi,” she said “This is it.” And if you’re
breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she
said, “is it.” Also, remember that generally “said”
is the best speech verb to use, and even more importantly, “stated”
is not.
she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She
said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or
“Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next
sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, in which case it’s written as
“Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned
or “Hello,” She grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech
verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally
stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore,
if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she
said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this
is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” or
“Hi,” she said “This is it.” And if you’re
breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she
said, “is it.” Also, remember that generally “said”
is the best speech verb to use, and even more importantly, “stated”
is not.
So far, this seems like something
that’d be really great to play, but not particularly interesting to
read about. I assume you have more of a hook to it than this, but if
so you really should’ve gotten to that in your first chapter.
that’d be really great to play, but not particularly interesting to
read about. I assume you have more of a hook to it than this, but if
so you really should’ve gotten to that in your first chapter.
(0)
Dialogue is written as “Hello,”
she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She
said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or
“Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next
sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, in which case it’s written as
“Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned
or “Hello,” She grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech
verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally
stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore,
if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she
said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this
is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” or
“Hi,” she said “This is it.” And if you’re
breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she
said, “is it.” Also, remember that generally “said”
is the best speech verb to use, and even more importantly, “stated”
is not.
she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She
said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or
“Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next
sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, in which case it’s written as
“Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned
or “Hello,” She grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech
verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally
stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore,
if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she
said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this
is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” or
“Hi,” she said “This is it.” And if you’re
breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she
said, “is it.” Also, remember that generally “said”
is the best speech verb to use, and even more importantly, “stated”
is not.
Don’t jump from third to first
person.
person.
You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse
or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu
or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re
using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu.
This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which
are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be
applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like
telephone or trainer. Or professor.
or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu
or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re
using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu.
This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which
are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be
applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like
telephone or trainer. Or professor.
“Its” is possessive, as in
“its story”, and “it’s” means “it is”.
“its story”, and “it’s” means “it is”.
[After all, I had lost the use of my
eyes, and that was a severe handicap in this world today. ]
eyes, and that was a severe handicap in this world today. ]
Then why is he talking about what
things look like?
things look like?
[If I had still been facing the egg,
and if I had not lost my sight, I might have noticed that the egg
glowed a bright red for an instant until I turned a corner and was
gone.]
and if I had not lost my sight, I might have noticed that the egg
glowed a bright red for an instant until I turned a corner and was
gone.]
Look. You obviously really do not want
to write from a tight POV, so don’t write in first person. Write in
third omniscient, which will let you tell people whatever they want
without worrying about how your narrator knows it.
to write from a tight POV, so don’t write in first person. Write in
third omniscient, which will let you tell people whatever they want
without worrying about how your narrator knows it.
(0)
You mean prologue, epilogue is the
thing that comes at the end of a story.
thing that comes at the end of a story.
This is way too short for a first
chapter and also chapters should have things actually happen in them.
This belongs in front of the rest of your chapter, not posted by
itself.
chapter and also chapters should have things actually happen in them.
This belongs in front of the rest of your chapter, not posted by
itself.
(0)
There are seven thousand stories just
on this site in this category with “pokemon” in their
title. “New” features in another thousand. There are over
four hundred “chronicles”, more if you include
misspellings, even more with “begins” and “beginning”,
and even more “Character Name”‘s whatever. There are
almost eight hundred with “legend”. There are fourteen
hundred with “journey”, twelve hundred with “story”,
almost three hundred with “quest”, and two thousand with
“adventure”. The different region names appear another
thousand or two times. “Saga”, “region” and
“champion” come in around two hundred. In sum, you should
try to choose an original title that has to do with your story in
particular, not something that indicates it’s yet another story about
a pokemon trainer.
on this site in this category with “pokemon” in their
title. “New” features in another thousand. There are over
four hundred “chronicles”, more if you include
misspellings, even more with “begins” and “beginning”,
and even more “Character Name”‘s whatever. There are
almost eight hundred with “legend”. There are fourteen
hundred with “journey”, twelve hundred with “story”,
almost three hundred with “quest”, and two thousand with
“adventure”. The different region names appear another
thousand or two times. “Saga”, “region” and
“champion” come in around two hundred. In sum, you should
try to choose an original title that has to do with your story in
particular, not something that indicates it’s yet another story about
a pokemon trainer.
You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse
or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu
or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re
using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu.
This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which
are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be
applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like
telephone or trainer. Or professor.
or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu
or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re
using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu.
This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which
are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be
applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like
telephone or trainer. Or professor.
[When, suddenly, a small brown critter
popped out of the bushes. Sabrina gaped at the creature she saw
before her. One of the rarest non-legendary pokemon, Eevee! ]
popped out of the bushes. Sabrina gaped at the creature she saw
before her. One of the rarest non-legendary pokemon, Eevee! ]
When your character is pointing out
plot holes, there’s something wrong. Either have her get an eevee
from someone who could reasonably give her one, such as a professor
or pet shop, or give her a starter she could reasonably catch. Also,
you don’t need sentence fragments everywhere.
plot holes, there’s something wrong. Either have her get an eevee
from someone who could reasonably give her one, such as a professor
or pet shop, or give her a starter she could reasonably catch. Also,
you don’t need sentence fragments everywhere.
Paragraphing has rules. You start a new
paragraph with a new subject. The goal is not to divide your story up
into even blocks. Also, a new speaker means you start a new
paragraph.
paragraph with a new subject. The goal is not to divide your story up
into even blocks. Also, a new speaker means you start a new
paragraph.
This is way too short for a chapter.
(2)
Paragraphing has rules. You start a new
paragraph with a new subject. The goal is not to divide your story up
into even blocks. Also, a new speaker means you start a new
paragraph.
paragraph with a new subject. The goal is not to divide your story up
into even blocks. Also, a new speaker means you start a new
paragraph.
Don’t use ” for thoughts. It just
looks like your character is talking to themself.
looks like your character is talking to themself.
Dialogue is written as “Hello,”
she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She
said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or
“Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next
sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, in which case it’s written as
“Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned
or “Hello,” She grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech
verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally
stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore,
if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she
said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this
is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” or
“Hi,” she said “This is it.” And if you’re
breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she
said, “is it.” Also, remember that generally “said”
is the best speech verb to use, and even more importantly, “stated”
is not.
she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She
said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or
“Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next
sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, in which case it’s written as
“Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned
or “Hello,” She grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech
verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally
stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore,
if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she
said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this
is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” or
“Hi,” she said “This is it.” And if you’re
breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she
said, “is it.” Also, remember that generally “said”
is the best speech verb to use, and even more importantly, “stated”
is not.
You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse
or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu
or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re
using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu.
This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which
are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be
applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like
telephone or trainer. Or professor.
or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu
or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re
using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu.
This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which
are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be
applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like
telephone or trainer. Or professor.
(0)
Dialogue is written as “Hello,”
she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She
said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or
“Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next
sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, in which case it’s written as
“Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned
or “Hello,” She grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech
verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally
stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore,
if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she
said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this
is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” or
“Hi,” she said “This is it.” And if you’re
breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she
said, “is it.” Also, remember that generally “said”
is the best speech verb to use, and even more importantly, “stated”
is not.
she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She
said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or
“Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next
sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, in which case it’s written as
“Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned
or “Hello,” She grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech
verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally
stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore,
if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she
said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this
is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” or
“Hi,” she said “This is it.” And if you’re
breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she
said, “is it.” Also, remember that generally “said”
is the best speech verb to use, and even more importantly, “stated”
is not.
There is no capital letter shortage, so
I don’t know why so many of your sentences can’t manage to start with
one. Also, “I” is always capitalized, not just when you
feel like it.
I don’t know why so many of your sentences can’t manage to start with
one. Also, “I” is always capitalized, not just when you
feel like it.
You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse
or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu
or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re
using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu.
This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which
are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be
applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like
telephone or trainer. Or professor.
or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu
or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re
using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu.
This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which
are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be
applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like
telephone or trainer. Or professor.
This is ridiculously OOC.
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Terrible, get a beta reader.
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And so I’m finished with the 28th.
Just a page worth of stories behind now.
Just a page worth of stories behind now.
Why in the world is he worried that people will think he’s gay for writing het porn? The point you’re saying things like “He put his dick into her pussy – no homo” is the point I actually start to wonder whether you’re compensating for something. Or is he warning that it’s going to be bad specifically in the way that porn written by straight men tends to be bad, and the “don’t judge me” is a separate thought? That would be astonishingly considerate for a guy who rates his smut K.
My first guess is that there’s a later chapter with an orgy and he worries writing about two guys banging hot chicks together is kind of gay. But maybe it’s that he wants to be clear he’s only getting off on the girl half of the heterosexual fucking, not on the rock hard eight inch dick part. Maybe the only non-gay stuff is lesbians now.
“Where is the Serena is cruelly forced into rhyhorn racing coming from? Is there something in the anime?”
This is an anime thing. I have’t watch much of it, but the author didn’t actually make up anything new with that little bit.
I find it odd that the fic still uses pokespeak despite the character’s powers. Maybe it will turn out that he’s actually deluded himself into thinking that he has that power. Now that would be an interesting concept.
Even the rhyhorn having the speed and mobility to buck someone off?
I wonder if that’s what’s behind all the evil mothers this year. I really don’t remember that being such a thing before.
I suppose if the stories you read all take place in Kalos, then it would make sense that the default mom character would be based off the mom as depicted in the anime.
The anime seems to have a large hold over much of the pokemon fanfiction base, especially since the XY anime is better than the other seasons. One guy keeps requesting me to write stories with Ash.
I’m suspicious it’s going beyond that. There were a bunch of OCs who weren’t connected to the game opening that still have weird stuff going on with evil domineering mothers. I think it’s people taking their cues from each other.
Off-topic– can anyone suggest some overused pokemon nicknames and their usual demographic? I want to make a joke in the chapter I’m writing; 10 years ago a fire starter named “Blaze” was a safe bet but I’m out of touch these days.
No, fire starters still get your choice of a half dozen fire words. There were a bunch of eevee named Eve as well.
Yeah, “Blaze” is still definitely in favor for pretty much any fire type. For pikachu, anything based on the species name is pretty popular (e.g. Pika, Chu-Chu). Those are the only ones I can really think of at the moment.