…

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11010064/1/Agent-Mars-Codename-Eclipse

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

[But as expected, Mars couldn’t find a permit at all from the Pokémon Regional Union. But common sense told her that the PRU wouldn’t give a thought on international trade yet. Of course, the PRU had just been formed, so she wasn’t surprised. ]

Your wording here is terrible. Why do two sentences in a row start with “But” and why do all three open with different ways of saying “obviously”?

[But as expected]

She can’t possibly expect it if she just went to the computer to look. That is the opposite of expected. Cut it.

[Mars couldn’t find a permit at all from the Pokémon Regional Union.]

There.

[But common sense told her that the PRU wouldn’t give a thought on international trade yet.]

“But” as contrasted to what, exactly?

[Apparently the PRU hadn’t give a thought to international trade yet.]

There. That actually follows from the previous sentence.

It’s still not worded very well – “hadn’t given a thought” and “doesn’t currently have permits for sale on the internet” has a pretty good gulf between them.

[Apparently the PRU hadn’t finalized their international trade plans yet.]

is far more likely.

[Of course, the PRU had just been formed, so she wasn’t surprised. ]

Again, if she wasn’t surprised she wouldn’t look. Cut this too.

One.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11010109/1/Unity-of-the-Forgotten

[to wake up mom ]

It’s “Mom”. Used as a name, capitalized as a name. Not used as a name, not capitalized.

Semicolons do not indicate sophisticated or intelligent writing, even when grammatically correct. Use sentence-connecting semicolons sparingly, judiciously, and only when the ideas in the clauses are inseparable. If you have a semicolon sitting between a pair of sentences because the sentences are kind of, sort of related, it just makes you look pretentious.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

[A long lost legend that was not to be fulfilled only in Hoenn had inflicted humanity. Every new born had one eye that had the hereditary colour of its own and the other eye was coloured with the new born’s future soul mate, if the two encountered to experience true happiness the colours would find unity. Mom never had, no Hoenn native ever had.  ]

This sounds very dramatic but it wouldn’t actually be that hard to just set up an eye color database and match people.

This comes from tumblr too, so apparently they are on a soulmates kick.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11010203/1/Pokemon-Academy-The-Black-Dragon-Saga

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Paragraphing has rules. You start a new paragraph with a new subject. The goal is not to divide your story up into even blocks. Also, a new speaker means you start a new paragraph.

Three.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11010278/1/Labyrinth

I think I got them already and if not I’m willing to declare this “poem” given its formatting and general incoherence.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11010327/1/Poketales-Cinderella

[ a Vulpix ]
[and two ugly stepsister Houndours ]

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

Also, don’t use stated.

[Author Notes: Fanfic apparently hates color, otherwise this would be a rainbow of work. For anyone interested in reading the colored chapters please pm. ]

If you want to do that kind of formatting, I’d suggest posting to Archive of Our Own instead, as they allow it.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11010332/1/Aroma

Hey, actual drabble! Or almost one.

[“I kinda got it cut,” she laughs.]

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

One.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11010379/1/Words

Got them.

One.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11010406/1/Misty-Get-s-Bugged

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

[ the’re journeys. ]

Their.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

Don’t label flashbacks.

Two.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11010533/1/Hot-and-Cold

A drabble is a writing exercise of 100 words exactly.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

Blocked!

Two.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11010564/1/Hybrid-Mystery-Dungeon-Explorers-of-Death

Got them already.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11010605/1/shine

A drabble is a writing exercise of 100 words exactly.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

Two.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11010775/1/Living-With-Girls-in-an-all-Girls-School

“I” is always capitalized, not just when you feel like it.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Write out numbers with letters.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

Four.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11010780/1/Certain-Things-Should-be-Left-Unspoken

[“Talk dirty to me,” she repeated. “Give me your pickup lines.”]

Those are different things.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Five.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11010796/1/How-We-Changed

Same person.

Two.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11010817/1/Any-Given-Psycho

And again.

Two, one line by line concrit.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11010859/1/Let-It-Ring

Hey, this isn’t marked complete! Is this continuing? Are we going to see the things N does?

[“Human beings are people, but pokemon are people too. I refuse to use the word people to mean only humans, because it sets up a distinction between humans and pokemon where there should be none.” ]

Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful.

I also like how N has come to his current conclusions because he’s started interacting with humans too rather than just pokemon.

One.

That completes the 30th!

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11010887/1/New-Member-of-The-Family

[I must be hard to get used to bright light considering he was born in a place with almost no light. ]
[at Charizards harsh demeanor ]
[Unfortunately I wasn’t having much luck finding. ]

This desperately needed to be proofread.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

[a newborn Riolu. ]

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

“Its” is possessive, “it’s” means “it is.”

I like that this is starting at a different point than usual and with an already established trainer, but it doesn’t really go anywhere. There’s bits here that could’ve been turned into suspense, like the fear of damaging the egg, but the format of a diary entry with the first line being that he hatched a riolu means everyone already knows what happens. There’s a lot of description to very little story.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11010945/1/Pokemon-Champion-of-Dragons

“Its” is possessive, “it’s” means “it is.”

[t looks about 45o from the ground. ]

What?

[and I a twist to grab something ]

Proofread.

Spellcheck.

Write out numbers with letters.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

One.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11010973/1/Adventures-of-Team-Lyric

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

One.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11010989/1/When-the-End-Stops

A prologue needs to be longer than a single short chapter.

If it’s not an individual name, don’t capitalize the word.

One.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11011006/1/Every-Cloud-Has-a-Silver-Lining

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Write out numbers with letters.

[When I got home I turned on the water in the bathtub and plugged it. Then I gently placed the dratini in the sink and turned on the water. It let out a cry as the cold water hit it at a first, but stopped. I tried to carefully clean the wound and I stopped the bleeding, then put the dratini in the tub, where it happily swam around. After about 10 minutes I took the Pokémon over to the Pokémon center and explained to Nurse Joy what had happened. She took the dratini  ]

And then called the police to get this kid’s name on the “never allowed to own pokemon” list?

Because what you just wrote is, “I found a pokemon, then refused to take it to the pokemon center because I wanted to treat the blood-spewing gash in its side myself for fun, so I plunked it into chlorinated icy water. It began to swim around despite its injury, so it must have been happy and not desperately trying to escape before it died! I left it there for ten more minutes, then figured maybe I should bother to have someone who actually knows anything about pokemon look at it.”

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

Paragraphing has rules. You start a new paragraph with a new subject. The goal is not to divide your story up into even blocks. Also, a new speaker means you start a new paragraph.

Real incompetence always outdoes parody. It’s disheartening.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11011212/1/Why-Run

Can anyone make sense of this?

Apparently I got them already anyway.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11011267/1/A-Story-on-Mt-Silver

Well, that’s eerie, but seems a hodgepodge. We’ve got thinking he’s Red even though he knows he isn’t, amnesia, ghost Red and a curse he can’t leave the mountain, robot Nurse Joy, somehow able to battle again despite releasing all his pokemon…

I think just having him be cursed to stay until the next person beats him would be weird enough. Or else work harder at connecting the elements together.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11011305/1/Pok%C3%A9mon-Love-by-Moonlight

[Due to complaints I had to take down and resubmit the story]

No you damn well did not. All you were told was to use the chaptering feature rather than cluttering up the category by submitting each new chapter, not clutter it up even more by deleting the first chapter and reposting that too.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11011670/1/Proxy-by-Punctuality

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

I don’t get this one at all.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11011675/1/The-Love-Within-Finding-Families

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

“Its” is possessive, “it’s” means “it is.”

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Use spellcheck.

Well, that’s disturbing, and the stockholmed marill’s reassurances just makes it creepier.

As usual, not sure to what degree that’s intentional.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11011720/1/Mega-Awesomeness

[-Lore King is an OC, and so is Wishmaker (Michael) so no, I don’t pertain to Jirachi with the latter title.]

If there’s no connection, then use a different term rather than taking a title that’s already used in canon.

[and the gilded armor which it conceal was not too shabby either ]

You need to proofread better and also your tone is all over the place.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11011776/1/After-it-all-calms-down-Silver-and-Lyra

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11011980/1/Pokemon-Rise-of-the-Unown

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11011981/1/Of-Ruins-and-Peace-Pacifica

Semicolons do not indicate sophisticated or intelligent writing, even when grammatically correct. Use sentence-connecting semicolons sparingly, judiciously, and only when the ideas in the clauses are inseparable. If you have a semicolon sitting between a pair of sentences because the sentences are kind of, sort of related, it just makes you look pretentious.

[“Good morning, Onii-san! Onee-chan!” she happily greeted.]

You’re writing in English. Stick to that.

[“No! I’m going to miss the opening ceremony!” She exclaimed ]

You’ve mostly doing dialogue correctly, but here you capitalize when you shouldn’t.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11012010/1/Daughter-of-the-Pokemon-Master

[This is the story of Holly, the daughter of Ash and one the women he met on his journeys (I won’t reveal who the mother is! You’ll just have to wait and see!)  ]

So similar to my complaint about the story that was just about Ash and Paul having a climatic battle while their wives watched, this is another bit of how sidelined the female characters are. How often do you see the mom identified and the father a mystery in these stories? And it’s because the main character is the guy who could be shipped with any one of the rotating cast of hangers-on, while the female characters usually max out at two love interests.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Paragraphing has rules. You start a new paragraph with a new subject. The goal is not to divide your story up into even blocks. Also, a new speaker means you start a new paragraph.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

Write out numbers with letters.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11012015/1/The-Aqua-Protocol

Write out numbers with letters.

[I was raised in kanto where me red and blue used to fantasise about pokemon all the time we loved them. ]

Names are capitalized, spellcheck, and use commas.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

One.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11012035/1/The-Philosopher-s-Propeller-or-Bickering-in-A-Starlit-Night

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Songfic is banned and with good reason.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

[“Bad thing is, you sang the wrong part! I’m not there yet!” she then got mad at him over that trivial issue. ]

“Here’s her doing a thing! Now I’m going to explain exactly what she did because I assume anyone reading this story is incredibly stupid!”

Then the story ends with The author only have his storyline idea. Anyone caught copying this script without the author’s permission must write an essay on why do you think the Fourth Crusade was more honorable than the Sixth Crusade at least an equivalent of four A4/F4 pages long. And by ‘write’, I do mean that; write it up on pieces of striped paper, instead of typing it, and send the papers to me via snail mail. I’ll acquit the charge only once the essay comes into my hand.

One, which is about ten more than it deserves.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11012072/1/Pokemon-Heroes-The-New-World

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

[The inhabitants, known to us as Pokémon, had to use whatever they could to fight the Dark Forces, an army full of Poison, Dark, and Ghost types. ]

Yeah that’s not boringly stereotyped at all.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11012099/1/The-power-of-a-first-kiss

Capitalize your title properly.

“Its” is possessive, “it’s” means “it is.”

Spellcheck.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

Stop using apostrophes for plurals.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

One.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11012100/1/Pokemon-ORAS-Adventures

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

The professor’s opening speech is clearly aimed at the player, not the character. The character has not just entered the world of pokemon, they were born there. Games in our world that contain animals do not open explaining to the player that they’re entering a world where animals exist.

Also, the opening of the game is something everyone’s already seen, including people who’ve never read the game thanks to everyone else already thinking it’d be super original to open their fanfic with this. If you have an actual plot, that’s where your story should start.

Blocked!

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11012118/1/The-Pokemon-Adventures

Names are always capitalized, not just when you feel like it, use commas, learn to write scene transitions, sentences always end in punctuation not just sometimes, write out numbers with letters, “your” is possessive and “you’re” is short for “you are”.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11012178/1/Hearthome-high-for-the-talentedgifted

Capitalize your title properly.

Write out numbers with letters.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

Paragraphing has rules. You start a new paragraph with a new subject. The goal is not to divide your story up into even blocks. Also, a new speaker means you start a new paragraph.

[“Her face is scratched and her mommy got knocked out by him. She’s in their room.” He said something in his walkie talkie and looked back at me, “Who are you?” I looked down. “I’m their adopted daughter.” Everyone knew what this meant, I’m gonna have to go back to my foster home. Unless Johanna, Dawn’s mom, can pull something off in court. ]

No, if she’s adopted her mother does not have to pull anything off for her to stay.

You either don’t have scene breaks or they’ve been eaten. That’s a really big problem when you’re switching characters constantly and writing in first person.

One.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11012208/1/Distraction-Techniques

Got them already.

One.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11012342/1/Showdown-In-Iceberg-City

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

Paragraphing has rules. You start a new paragraph with a new subject. The goal is not to divide your story up into even blocks. Also, a new speaker means you start a new paragraph.

Learn to write scene transitions.

It’s “you”, three letters.

“Its” is possessive, “it’s” means “it is.”

“Your” is possessive, “you’re” is short for “you are”.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11012400/1/Edge-of-Oblivion-An-AlphaSapphire-Nuzlocke

[Follows standard nuzlocke rules except: Can only attain pokemon by hatching eggs received in trade. ]

…so you can get lots of perfectly bred rare pokemon with egg moves? How exactly is that a restriction?

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

[besides those were all dark types. I doubt he would have done much better than me in an extended engagement.  ]

Beldum are part steel and poochyena use physical moves.

And he can randomly understand pokemon now. Why.

Zero.

Is the idea like you use wonder trade until you get an egg? I don’t think eggs can be transferred like that, though. Really, using wonder trade on each pokemon you catch would probably be more direct.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11012483/1/Delta-Emerald

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

[“They still make for good company,” her mom had told her. “Even if they’re not that strong for battling.” ]

…eeveelutions aren’t strong now?

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

The opening of the game has been done well past death at this point. If you have an actual plot, skip to it.

“Its” is possessive, “it’s” means “it is.”

Two.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11012506/1/Up-in-flames

Got them already.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11012678/1/I-Became-a-Vulpix

Huh, that’s a really good opening.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

[I was in a hospital, turned into a six-tailed fox, who had just escaped death ]

This is worded oddly. I think the issue is that the plot of the story is she’s been transferred into a badly injured vulpix in the pokeworld, so you know that’s the actual chain of events, but from her point of view, she was turned into weird fox and also just escaped dying. She has no reason to think the weird fox had any independent existence.

[Although I would be taken care of by humans for a certain amount of time until I healed, I would probably eventually be released, and I didn’t see myself surviving in the wild. ]

Similarly, she should have no reason to assume humans think she’s something normal. She’s gone from wondering if her parents know she’s turned into a mutant fox to apparently knowing that she’s in another world where injured six-tailed foxes are regular animals you release back into the wild, all from sitting in isolation looking at her paws.

[And in what language? The nurse was speaking english. What would happen if I replied in plain english? What if I made a mistake and actually spoke a human language when I wasn’t meant to be able to? The idea of them discovering I was a human who turned into a pokemon scared me. From the looks of it, they were not aware of that, and I felt like it was something I had to keep secret for as long as I could.  ]

English is capitalized and this is a terrible excuse. You can’t just say that your character Just Knows they should act in the way convenient for your plot. This is doubly bad when she just got through panicking at the idea of being mistaken for a wild animal and even thinking she hopes she’s a pet because at least she won’t get thrown into the forest to die. She should be desperate to convey she’s a human being.

[Have someone watch her night and day. If any journalists come, you have my permission to insult them, but do not let them anywhere near her and do not answer their questions. Call the security if they are being pushy. They’ll have to deal with me if they want to learn anything about this ]

Also, this would suggest they do know something weird is going on about her, and trying to communicate would help.

[I didn’t want to play. I had no idea what games foxes or pokemon played, anyway. I wanted explanations. Why was I a vulpix? Why was I wounded? Who was the girl sleeping by the bed when I woke up? Where was I? And most importantly, what kind of world was I in? ]

And yet more reasons to not insist on not communicating with them. How exactly does she expect to get answers to the question of how she turned from a human to a vulpix if also no one can know she was a human who was turned into a vulpix?

[It was still the… 20th of May, if I remembered correctly. Why was it so difficulty to remember that single date?
I felt like my heart stopped beating momentarily after I realized what would eventually happen. Having been turned into a vulpix, I had the brains of a vulpix, and my human brain would eventually fade away together with all my memories, instincts, reflexes and knowledge, and I would turn into a completely normal and standard vulpix. My body was already an animal’s, which caused me enough grief, and mostly embarrassment, but the prospect of becoming an animal at mind was extremely distressing. I couldn’t see myself acting the way my cats and dogs did, but I knew it would eventually happen, and that made me feel down. I didn’t want to lose all my memories and the things that made me human. I had never asked to become a vulpix, especially not on the verge of death, but it had happened against my will. It was up to me to make sure that last phase of the transformation didn’t happen. ]

She continues to just know random information she has no way of knowing. She’s hideously injured and the nurse just said she’s also doped to the gills, yet somehow she can tell that none of that is a factor in that and think up very elaborate explanations of what’s going on instead.

[“Hey vulpix.” The girl said. ]

If the girl’s using it as the vulpix’s name, it’s capitalized.

This is nicely written and the concept is an intriguing one. The bits where she’s actually trying to figure things out or worried about things that make sense are also good. But the other half of it is her just knowing stuff she shouldn’t while insisting she’ll refuse to do things to make the plot work despite how unreasonable it is to act like that.

If she can’t speak and the writing they use is different, it’d be almost impossible for her to communicate in her present state. That’d be a perfectly good reason rather than her deciding to keep it secret because she just knows she isn’t allowed to tell people. Plus given they were worried about brain damage they could easily decide she’s just delusional.

One.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11012731/1/Hiraeth

[[i]she knows your name,[/i] ]

You need to switch the coding here.

[Twenty-one days, six months, and fifteen days from now ]

First is probably years.

Those things aside, this is a really solid and unsettling story, and I like how no one’s quite sure what the right thing to do is or was. The yanmask is a lovely touch as well. I do think the opening is kind of a cheat – the plastic bag and [her arms twitch feebly to try to free herself, before her struggles exhaust her and she begins to sag] presents what’s happening as very different from every other death shown.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11012805/1/In-Your-Head

Write out numbers with letters.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

This is just the coma theory. You really didn’t add anything to it.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11012866/1/Pokemon-Attack-of-Mewtwo-2-Attack-of-Team-Rocket

[Note: This story is not mine, it was written by dark-lemur, and I am simply reposting it  ]

Nope.

Two, both the uploader’s.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11013116/1/Moments

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

One.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11013124/1/Shadow-Mask

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

“Your” is possessive, “you’re” is short for “you are”.

Don’t switch between first and third person.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11013219/1/Hell-s-Outcasts

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11013224/1/Dex-Holders-reunion

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

[the white cap wearing male had snatched her pastry away, he snickered at her reaction, walking away as he left the short haired brunette sitting cross legged on top of the table. ]

Use relevant epithets or don’t use them at all.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11013246/1/Set-Sail-The-S-S-Pokemon

Random nonsense isn’t “humor” or particularly entertaining in general.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11013257/1/The-ballad-of-Wingull

Capitalize your title properly.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Write out numbers with letters.

[ The battle music played, and I stood and watched the trainer jump in surprise ]

I really don’t know why you thought it was a good idea to say that literally happens.

“Its” is possessive, “it’s” means “it is.”

[I waited still, wanting this trainer to get it over with. But after a good sixty seconds, the attack never came. I glanced up at the trainer, curious as to why he hadn’t finished the battle yet. He was holding a red-and-white ball, staring intently into my eyes, almost as if asking me a question. Something inside me understood, though I may never know what part specifically. I nodded slightly, though what I was agreeing to I didn’t yet understand. ]

The idea of trainers only catching pokemon that want to be caught is a good idea as far as morality goes, but it’s not particularly compatible with the idea that you have to beat them down in the first place.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11013267/1/Pokemon-Mystery-Dungeon-Rusted-Hearts

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

“Your” is possessive, “you’re” is short for “you are”.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

One.

This next one is good and also my review is spoilery, so click on it first.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11013339/1/Decoherence

Snuck in just under the wire! Snuck in like a brick wall I smacked into ruining my easy autocorrect final sprint and making me have to actually read and pay attention to!

But yeah okay this is pretty great. I love N’s friendly N-ness, and the terrifying god pokemon being actual terrifying gods, and Hilda trying to stop it because someone has to, and that Dawn is there and a hero in her own right but can’t face going up again.

[What kind of madman could ever look at creatures like that and imagine he might speak with them, could ever understand them? The very incarnations of time and space, creatures that have lived since the very birth of the universe—and he looks at them, and smiles, and calls them his friends. Cyrus assembled his own armies, bent years of research and technical brilliance towards using them to remake the world—all the trouble he would have saved if he’d done like N and asked politely. ]

And this is beautiful and why N makes for the best and most epic opponent in the series.

(And, of course, I love that N has a point. The ending bits really sum up the dichotomy – we would mourn the loss and gain nothing in return, but pokemon? They’d lose friends but be able to have real lives in the process.)

I’m sad you’re declared this complete because now I really wish I could see what happens if the worlds come back together more. It seems N wasn’t completely right about how they’d need to change who people are, since losing their memories of pokemon and the pokemon being able to make a more advanced society on their own seems like it’d remove a lot of the problems with equality. (Did N get to stay with the pokemon, or did he exile himself too? Sounds like he expects to be exiled.) I’d like to see how Hilda would react to finding out that actually they are real, and in fact here’s her beloved former pokemon who N’s insane idea stole from her…but at the same time, that pokemon now get to have lives of their own, and trying to navigate the reintegration.

[I don’t know what you… think you heard,” she glances into Zekrom’s unfathomable red eyes, “but it’s wrong.  ]

Really don’t think that’s right, though. Either ellipsis or dash as the break and capital letters between, or dashes for the narration if it’s lowercased.

Zero.

If we ended here it’d be on an unrepresentative high point. And while you can certainly manage to lie with statistics, they do have an honesty about them. Things that are statistically unlikely tend not to happen.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11013382/1/Shattered-Glass

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

This really seems like a misery sue. Even assuming that her bullies are this convincing and never slip up once, why doesn’t she just leave with her mother? You make it clear her mother is suffering as much if not more, to the point of being barely allowed to go into the town at all.

You either need for this to be a general prejudice against her species, so that they’d be treated similarly anywhere, or to tone it way down and have her mother’s murder come out of the blue. The entire town doesn’t need to already hate her for them to not believe her about another kid setting the fire, and that alone could be enough to push her over the edge.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11013481/1/Swanna-s-Delivery

Write out numbers with letters.

[ Due to Ethan’s intangible schedule, ]

Really don’t think intangible is the word you wanted there.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks with thoughts.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Zero.

And on that, a thing that was just a million words of pregnancy research in the rough shape of a fic, we actually do end.

Well, this was probably the most successful attempt yet! I usually blacklist various fic types along the way, but this time I didn’t skip over romance or human or every goddamn PMD fic with the exact same opening. All had my reviews inflicted equally on them. I ended up giving somewhere just shy of a thousand reviews this month! AND I actually responded to PMs at the same time.


Sure, it was a rough and sleepless slog , but I WON POKECATEGORY I WON!

And I end with the equally ill-advised determination to do better at actually writing fic this year. Maybe I’ll even manage to write a guide for fanfic too!