People can see reviews again! Which leads, predictably, to people getting mad at me.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11713339/1/In-the-midst-of-War

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Write out numbers with letters.

[It had all started when someone had brought up an uprising, against the government and laws. Someone didn’t like the idea of smaller reigning, numerous monarchs. And that someone’s greed, as they attempted to seize a non-existent, ultimate throne, was what brought the realm of the Pokemon crashing down. ]

Your wording is terribly convoluted. You start off claiming this is about anarchy, except then you explain that no, you were just sprewing nonsense and you just mean they’re trying to become surpreme ruler themselves. They’re not trying to “seize a nonexistent throne”, they’re making an empire like people have throughout history. There is absolutely nothing confusing about a bunch of small kingdoms having someone who thinks they should all be one kingdom and yet your description manages to make that basic idea clear as mud.

[They started to kill of some of the kings and queens of realms.  ]

So what?

[The Pokemon leading the rebellion left Pokemon devoid of hope. Scared to fight back. He attacked quickly and mercilessly, and some rulers even GAVE UP their throne upon being challenged, scared to fight the Rebellion’s leader. And, with less rulers, the Pokemon world fell into anarchy. ]

That’s not how conquering works, and a thing isn’t a rebellion just because people are fighting.

[Kings battled for scarce land and resources, but could they really be called kings anymore? Their subjects acted as if they had no one controlling their actions, ignored laws.
And within a while, the majority of the remaining monarchs became bitter. Why was nobody obeying them? Didn’t they need a leader in these trying times?]

Seriously this is just word salad. None of these things follows. You’re saying a bunch of nonsense led to different nonsense led to different nonsense. Crack a history book sometime.

Zero, even though I was lazy and we’re currently back on January 4th and how hard is it to review, people? It’s not like I’m counting halfway decent reviews, there’s just nothing here at all.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11713378/1/Swanna-s-Story

Write out numbers with letters.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

Paragraphing has rules. You start a new paragraph with a new subject. The goal is not to divide your story up into even blocks. Also, a new speaker means you start a new paragraph.

[“What’s your name?” Asked the pikachu. “I’ll explain more later, but just call me Pikachu.” “… I’m not sure.” Replied the girl. “Mabye I should call myself… Swanna.” “Nice to meet you Swanna! I’m Eevee!” said Eevee, shyly. ]

I want you to ask yourself if you can picture yourself or anyone else you know deciding they want to be named what the creature they just turned into is called. Then ask yourself if you’d announce your already-known name. Like if you were a dog, and it was established everyone was calling themselves Dog and Cat and Parrot, would you then add that by the way, you, who is obviously a dog, is Dog?

If you’re absolutely against them remembering their names or making them up or anything other than the standard using the species name as a name, the way people would actually say this is, “We can’t remember our names, so we’re just calling each other by what pokemon we’ve been turned into.”

Spellcheck.

It’s “okay”, four letters.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11713476/1/Pokemon-Chaos

Okay, remember that bunch of words they told you to read before posting, the one you scrolled by and mashed the button at the bottom without reading? It’s https://www.fanfiction.net/story/story_tab_guide.php so try actually reading it this time.

Zero. Also unfortunately it turns out even internal links won’t work right with reviews.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11713519/1/The-End-of-a-Journey

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

Semicolons should only ever be used when connecting two complete sentences and even then almost never.

Write out numbers with letters.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11713619/1/Ace

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Stop misusing stated everywhere.

You really don’t need to waste a chapter on him plodding around wondering what actually interesting stuff might eventually happen. Skip straight to the part where things actually happen.

Don’t ask for OCs. Make up what OCs your story actually needs to fit whatever purpose you need them for.

Blocked! Our first one.

One.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11713683/1/Back-to-Basics

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

Paragraphing has rules. You start a new paragraph with a new subject. The goal is not to divide your story up into even blocks. Also, a new speaker means you start a new paragraph.

Punctuation always goes at the end of your sentences, not half the time.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11713743/1/Genesect-s-Playstation-of-Doom

Calling OCs the names of legendaries while they act like humans still doesn’t make them anything but crappy OCs with weird names.

Paragraphing has rules. You start a new paragraph with a new subject. The goal is not to divide your story up into even blocks. Also, a new speaker means you start a new paragraph.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

Also blocked!

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11713915/1/Endeavour-to-a-New-Destiny

[And this will be a betrayal fiction but I’ll try not to bash everyone.  ]

Well, that’s definitely a big step up from the usual.

Paragraphing has rules. You start a new paragraph with a new subject. The goal is not to divide your story up into even blocks. Also, a new speaker means you start a new paragraph.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

Write out numbers with letters.

[Amidst this commotion both Ash and Delia smelled smoke in the air but neglected it thinking that it was just the burnt food. But the crackling of wood drew there attention to the ceiling just to see it fall down with embers flying in the air. A mob stood outside the burning home with Fire Type Pokémon watching it burn down with no one lifting a finger to help. ]

Okay so I’m glad you didn’t just do yet another “suddenly Ash’s friends are evil” thing, but this is still OOC, you’ve just shunted it to random characters rather than ones we know. Why would a furious house-burning mob form over the fact Ash stole a thing from some company in another city as opposed to the police just walking up to arrest him? Why wouldn’t the police have decided to arrest him before releasing a news report warning him they knew he did it so he’d have plenty of time to escape?

Now, if it was “Ash, in a Team Rocket outfit, presumably stealing the masterball for the noted evil group everyone hates” then we’d be a lot closer to why you’d get a lynch mob forming, and even then, the police should’ve shown up first – if Ash runs away from them, then he can be shocked that the rest of the town is forming into a mob to stop him.

Five favs and follows, zero reviews what is with people.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11713978/1/Pokemon-Failure

Paragraphing has rules. You start a new paragraph with a new subject. The goal is not to divide your story up into even blocks. Also, a new speaker means you start a new paragraph.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Write out numbers with letters.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11713999/1/Latias-New-Journey

Semicolons should only ever be used when connecting two complete sentences and even then almost never. They should definitely not be used like colons.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

It’s “okay”, four letters.

One, and it’s someone complaining about how terrible it is. Good job, complainer!

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11714021/1/Merry-Christmas-Happy-New-Years

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

Spellcheck.

Zero, also jesus christ people I switched from doing it in December to get away from your stupid Christmas fic stop posting it in January.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11714044/1/Darkrai-and-Shaymin-RP-1-temp-title

Semicolons should only ever be used when connecting two complete sentences and even then almost never.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

[ white & pink  ]

And.

“It’s” means “it is”. “Its” is the possessive form.

[Shaymin wasn’t going to be able to defend myself very well.  ]

Pay attention to what POV this is written in.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11714062/1/Pokemon-Mystery-Dungeon-A-Heart-as-Cold-as-Ice

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

[“How will You protect it from Him?” asked the life-giver.
“I will turn it into a Pokemon, so He will not easily find it. I will make it Shiny, to better tell it apart from the species I intend to turn it into,” replied his prisoner]

“I’ll hide it amid a crowd so it won’t be noticed and then attach a neon sign pointing to its head so it’s identifiable! BEST PLAN EVER!”

One.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11714209/1/Invitation

[the Umbreon]

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

You shouldn’t be flipping between first and third person at all, let alone by the paragraph.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

[Have a Mystery Dungeon one-shot ]

A one-shot is supposed to actually be a complete story, not two people saying hello to each other, saying there’s a bunch of mysteries, and then it ending.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11714238/1/Torazn-Quests-A-Nuzlocke-Story

Write out numbers with letters.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

Nothing actually happens and so there’s no point to posting this as a chapter. Your story should begin where it actually starts, not with someone walking into a town and then chilling at a pokecenter.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11714289/1/The-Street-Elements-and-The-Royal-Princesses

Write out numbers with letters.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

Paragraphing has rules. You start a new paragraph with a new subject. The goal is not to divide your story up into even blocks. Also, a new speaker means you start a new paragraph.

If you’re just writing like they’re humans, there’s not much point in making it pokemon fanfic.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11714354/1/The-First-Steps

[Hello People! This is my attempt at the Different Starter plot and I hope that this won’t be too similar to every other fanfiction in this category. I am planning to give Ash a lot of pokemon that I don’t see used a lot in fanfictions like these, with some exceptions. Some of Ash’s pokemon from the original anime will show up but he won’t capture all of them by a longshot. Sorry pikachu-fans but I want to focus on other pokemon that don’t get the spotlight that often in this kind of fanfictions.  ]

Okay, if your goal is just a kid having different pokemon than the ones featuring in the show, it seems like you’d be much better off just making up an OC for it. This is one of the few fandoms where OCs aren’t incredibly hated for no reason, take advantage of that.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Write out numbers with letters.

[“Now you’re on your own and I sure hope that you get eaten, you ####-ing shithead.” ]

Write swears or don’t. Definitely don’t censor only one, it looks particular bad.

Semicolons should only ever be used when connecting two complete sentences and even then almost never.

[Especially human children were quite a delightful species when they were raised correctly, they were also incredibly fragile and a human child would last long in the wild. ]

Your wording is really awkward at best and missing words at worst. You really need to proofread better and probably get a beta.

Please stop labeling POVs. It should be clear from context.

[“Drowzee, I want to thank you yet again for bringing Ash back home. Who knows what could have happened to him out there? But I am currently facing a bit of a dilemma. I know that you are a wild pokemon and it really isn’t my place to force you to stay here any longer than you already has. But Ash needs you to recover from this experience, I am pretty certain that you have noticed how close he has gotten to you already. Can you at the very least stay until he begins his pokemon-journey?” ]

This is really contrived and makes it clear it’s because you want this exact thing to happen rather than because it’s a natural thing for any character involved. It’d make far more sense Oak to just ask if the drowzee could stick around with Ash for a bit and then they end up close friends and so he’s still there by the time Ash is old enough to go on a journey.

Also again – just use an OC for this sort of thing. You’re aware seeing the same pokemon get caught over again is going to be tedious, why not apply the same logic to seeing Ash himself go on a journey yet again?

Ten favs, nine follows, zero reviews.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11714529/1/I-Feel-No-Pain

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Don’t label scene changes, it should be clear from context.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

Making the third character an OOC abuser is not the best way advocate for your competing ship.

Three, so it is pretty good at preaching to the choir at least.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11714651/1/Pokemon-Sapphire-Quest

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

Everyone’s already seen the game opening and the million other fics copying it. Your first chapter should actually be about your story, not a pile of filler before what might actually one day involve something interesting.

Semicolons should only ever be used when connecting two complete sentences and even then almost never.

Don’t label flashbacks, it should be clear from context.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

One, which is incredibly enthusiastic about how this is the THIRD novelization of ORAS I’ve found in less than a month! It’s an embarrassment of riches! Plus, this is the first one I’ve found that has May as the main character. Unique, to say the least.  by someone who I can only assume doesn’t understand there’s more than one page to the category.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11714671/1/Under-my-umbrella

Capitalize your title properly.

“It’s” means “it is”. “Its” is the possessive form.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

Don’t label scene changes, it should be clear from context.

This wouldn’t even be a proper first chapter, let alone a full fic.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11714702/1/Like-a-family

Capitalize your title properly.

“It’s” means “it is”. “Its” is the possessive form.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

Also, stop using stuff like “stated” and “questioned”. Those aren’t all-purpose speech tags. Unless you mean something extra, just use things like said/asked/replied.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

[She lightly pressed the rag with the brown liquid onto Noibats head injury. Noibat yelped in pain and began to squirm. Tears began to form in his eyes. Serena winced as well. She felt bad for putting Noibat in so much pain. Confused, Ash reached over and examined the thin bottle. He noticed a large, white label. It was labeled, ‘Peroxide.’
“Peroxide?” Ash questioned
“It’s a liquid that cleans deep wounds so they don’t get infected.” Serena sternly replied.
“Well, I was not aware we had a doctor amongst us.” Ash smirked sarcastically.
Serena giggled and replied, “No, I’m no doctor. I just know basic first-aid.”]

That is actually incorrect. Peroxide doesn’t do much to remove bacteria but it does make treated wounds heal significantly slower, probably because you just dumped flesh-dissolving agony juice onto it. Given the pokeworld has good enough technology to have super healing potions, I’d expect them to be a bit better at this.

Obviously you can argue that if wrongly held information is also widely believed, it’s not wrong for a character to believe it and repeat the misinformation. But doing so is just further propagating the misinformation, so don’t.

One.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11714733/1/Confessions-An-Amourshipping-Oneshot

Your code is a mess. Next time look at what you uploaded before posting.

Four.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11714770/1/Love-is-a-Metaphor

[ After obtaining her third Princess Key, however, the omnipresent issue had risen once more. ]

If it’s omnipresent, that means it’s constantly present and so never went away long enough to come up again.

[In all honesty, Serena was at the point where she tried to conceal her romantic inclinations. She certainly tried to drop hints at first, but she quickly realized that subtlety was futile. ]

It sounds like she’s past the point of concealing them, not currently reaching it. Your fic is full of these sorts of wording issues.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

One.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11714802/1/Pok-emon-The-Lost-Movie-Spiritomb-and-The-Prince-of-Darkness

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

One.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11714814/1/Pok%C3%A9mon-Journey-Kanto

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

[First, what is your name?”
The boy Oak was speaking to, a raven haired boy of eleven, red eyed and wearing a short-sleeved jacket and cap of the same colour, stared at the elderly man for a few seconds with a look of utter confusion on his face for a good few seconds before finally speaking.
“Um Professor Oak sir? You already know my name: it’s Red. You’re the one who brought me here to your lab,” he said.]

Yeah this joke wasn’t too funny the first time and this is easily the thousandth.

If you’ve got an actual story to tell, tell it, don’t repeat an opening everyone’s seen.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11715082/1/Unforgiven

[ it’s original state ]

Its.

Semicolons should only ever be used when connecting two complete sentences and even then almost never.

[The Typhlosion ]

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

This is pretty slow but it is interesting to see a different plot for once. I’m not quite sure you did enough with the fact these guys are gijinkas rather than humans, they still seem more more heavily weighted toward human than pokemon, but it does make for a different dynamic when an ancient legendary pops up.

One.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11715190/1/Pokemon-Black-and-White-New-Memories-of-the-Best-Wishes

[After an aerial accident at sea, Ash loses all his past memories, while Pikachu has lost all his battling powers. ]

Isn’t that pretty much what happens every season anyway? If you want to write about a more competent trainer, instead of hitting Ash with the reset button yet again why not just write about your own trainer?

Write out numbers with letters.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

[ Corphishs’ water dancing ]
[ Ashs’ right shoulder ]

The apostrophe goes between the word and the “s”.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

You really shouldn’t be spending ages on a chapter that ends by telling us the same thing you already told us in the summary.

Two.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11715243/1/Ralts-Makes-Soup

[The act of picking something up and putting it in a bag could get quite redundant ]

You mean repetitive. If it was redundant, she wouldn’t need to keep doing it.

Semicolons should only ever be used when connecting two complete sentences and even then almost never.

You know, most of the time when people do ludicrous food porn, they try to sound like they actually know how the recipes in question work. You’re spending a lot of detail here but it’s all vague and uninteresting.

[Amethyst dumped the chicken into to pot, just as she did with the other two ingredients, then turned to stove on medium, sulking back to her kitchen table, she plopped onto a chair, her breath hardly recovered. She did it. She finished her soup. Now all she had to do was wait…and hope the noodles weren’t overcooked. Ralts cringed. What a tragic event that would be, indeed. She could only hope, though. ]

…so, is this stolen Steven Universe fanfic you didn’t finish replacing the names of or…?

I’m actually more confused now that I did a search and can’t find another version, because trolling by writing this once and posting it to a bunch of fandoms would make a lot more sense. As another confused reviewer points out, really nothing here has to do with pokemon.

Two.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11715268/1/In-the-Eyes-of-the-Electric-Mouse-and-Gleaming-Eyes

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

“It’s” means “it is”. “Its” is the possessive form.

Zero.