Last time on the Host, a depiction of a relationship that isn’t horrible and rapey. Are we sure this is YA?

She admits to herself that she’s going to leave this body – Out of pain, out of sadness, out of aching for lost and hopeless loves. so in the end, yeah, I guess it is just that you’re weak. Melanie constantly in your head was a valid problem, Melanie possibly taking you over a valid fear. Being overwhelmed with secondhand feels for her husbando? Yeah, you’re pathetic.

If I could find a way, I would keep Melanie out of the Seeker’s hands. It would be very hard.
No, it would be impossible.
I would try.

And huh. I wonder if that would stay true upon leaving the body – is that Melanie’s feeling bleeding through or the fact enough of her’s been overwritten that she feels the same?

Actual Melanie doesn’t so much as twitch at this. She was still dreaming. Giving up, I thought, now that it was too late for giving up to help. You’re being disappointing, Melanie I. Look, you’ve almost won! Can’t you see that? Here I thought your memory business was to batter her down further, but apparently you’re just distracting yourself and any impact on your hated brainslug slaver is accidental? TALK TO HER. She’s just admitted real defeat – not quitting, not the idea she just can’t handle it like she’s been foolishly worried about, but actual defeat, giving herself over to what you want. Keep pushing. Make her let you go. That’d keep you from the seeker, wouldn’t it? She just said she’d do it, she’d try even if it’s impossible. So make her. You can do it, Melanie! I believe in you! Seeker lady believes in you! The brainslug government believes in you! 80% success rate, you heard them! Tear this parasite’s mind apart!

All the memories just make Melanie II more miserable, until finally she says the longing for Jamie and Jared is intolerable, confirming that she can’t stand to stay in the host. Oddly, the idea of seekers finding and brainslugging them never seems to have really been considered – the only time it’s mentioned, she’s already Melanie II and repulsed by the idea, so we never see her making this part of the transition.

She realizes she hasn’t eaten all day, even though a little while ago she was thinking about how she wanted to drag the trip out if she could. She decides to stop and get something to eat, and it happens to be Picacho Peak which happens to mean something to Melanie I that she hides. For some reason, despite spending the day trying to get out of Melanie I’s memories, she decides that she should definitely head there and hope she gets more clues. But the wall stays resolute, and in fact she finds it much tougher than usual, further evidence Melanie I getting stronger. We really don’t need further evidence on that front, though, the fact her personality’s mostly overwritten is way more relevant.

She keeps trying to figure out what’s up with the place, only for Melanie to think about romantic times with Jared. But that’s not really the point of the memory – it’s also the one explaining why she was captured.

“Jamie’s still a boy. Please, please keep him safe.”
“I’ll make you a deal,” Jared offers. “You keep yourself safe, and I’ll do my best. Otherwise, no deal.”

See, Melanie is going to leave the two of them to find her cousin, presumably on the basis of practicality – she knows who she’s looking for and her cousin will recognize her, while there’s no point in the two of them risking themselves too. And he isn’t even arguing with her about it.

Jared insists that it’ll be okay, that no matter what he’ll always be able to find her.

“Don’t be afraid. You’ll be fine. You’re strong, you’re fast, and you’re smart.” He’s trying to convince himself, too.

After how pathetic our supposed badass brainslug protagonist is, it’s nice to see Melanie picking up the slack and her love interest supporting that.

Anyway, she explains that when they go on a raid in an isolated area, they put the TV on while they steal food.

Just to get the weather forecast; there isn’t much entertainment in the dead-boring everything-is-perfect reports that pass for news among the parasites.

Ah, see this is what I want with the dissonance. They’re aping the news format but there’s no longer any point to it.

But it’s only a side mention of how the parasites suck rather than mining that vein of horror properly.

But, she happens to see her cousin, who has distinctive red hair.

I can still see the look on her face as she peeked at the camera from the corner of one eye. The look that said,I’m trying to be invisible; don’t see me. She walked not quite slowly enough, working too hard at keeping a casual pace. Trying desperately to blend in.
No body snatcher would feel that need.

And this is also a quality horror setup. I’m disappointed we didn’t get any of this now – imagine how disturbing this would be? I read a short story once where it was possible to blend in with zombies, who wandered around mindlessly repeating parts of their former lives. If you slipped up – moved too fast, looked too hard, anything – they tore you apart. And anyone else still human would just stand there, pretending to be another zombie while it happened, out of fear they’d be killed as well. And how long until you stop seeing anyone else at all?

Which is part of what’s motivating Melanie – they have to find others if they still exist.

Jamie is having more difficulty.

I’m scared you won’t come back. Like Dad.”
I flinch. When Dad didn’t come back–though his body did eventually, trying to lead the Seekers to us

And that’s pretty horrifying too. But it would’ve been a better flashback, both because generally horrifying and because it’s another thing to hit her brainslug with. We know the brainslug feels what she feels. So show her how that felt instead of just how it feels to love Jared every time.

She promises Jamie that she’ll come back.

You know I won’t break a promise, Jamie. Not to you.”

And yet, we know that’s what happened.

I’m kind of annoyed, though – after the very first memory at the beginning of the story, the brainslug is basically sitting these recollections out, not saying what this means to her. Does the knowledge of breaking a promise to beloved Jamie hurt, even though it’s exactly what she believes should be right?

We also get a quick followup on the note-leaving, which apparently was a note to Jared saying they were there and she was trapped and to run. Okay, that makes no sense. If she’s concerned they might catch her, why would her backup plan be to leave a note in the places they would catch her so that Jared could come to the place the brainslugs evidently were watching to look for them?

Not only do I break their hearts, I steal their refuge, too. I picture our little canyon home abandoned, as it must be forever now. Or if not abandoned, a tomb. I see my body leading the Seekers to it. My face smiling as we catch them there…
“Enough,” I said out loud, cringing away from the whiplash of pain. “Enough! You’ve made your point! I can’t live without them either now. Does that make you happy? Because it doesn’t leave me many choices, does it?
…
There is another choice, Melanie thought softly.

Oh. So you weren’t dozing off like she thought. You were pulling back to plan. Clever, clever, clever.

Melanie then shows her what the curious lines in her memory meant – the first one is this mountain peak. Apparently, she’s offering the brainslug the way to find Jared and Jamie. Okay, that’s less clever.

See, the comforter explained that the way to handle being hung up on a human is to find the human and brainslug them too. Her brainslug’s acceptance of defeat is based around thinking they’re unfindable. If she can find them, then catching them and sticking with Melanie’s body becomes viable. Yes, she did express upset over the idea earlier, but she’s also been going on about how giving up this body means defeat.

Even if you’re pretty sure which of the two impulses would win out, I’d think you’d want to be absolutely certain. We know the seekers have nothing better to do with their time, so it’s not like she’d lack brainslugpower if she decides to call them and say the two are hiding somewhere in this direction.

She then explains what’s up with the lines. Her father’s family are crazy conspiracy nuts – she’s assuming that’s how Sharon survived, her mom had a bolthole or two in Chicago – and back before everything went to hell, her uncle showed up to rant at her dad about the alien invasion. He scrawls weird lines onto the family album and when her dad says it’ll upset her mom:

‘Linda’s mom asked you all to come up for a visit, right? Kind of strange, out of the blue? Got a little upset when only Linda would come? Tell you the truth, Trev, I don’t think Linda will be minding anything much when she gets back. Oh, she might act like it, but you’ll be able to tell the difference.’ It didn’t make sense at the time, but what he said really upset my dad. He ordered Uncle Jeb out of the house.
Jeb wouldn’t leave at first. Kept warning us not to wait until it was too late. He grabbed my shoulder and pulled me into his side. ‘Don’t let ’em get you, honey,’ he whispered. ‘Follow the lines. Start at the beginning and follow the lines. Uncle Jeb’ll keep a safe place for you.’

Pretty good setup!

Also yeah, as is customary the mom is removed from the story as quickly and cleanly as possible.

This is a memory of her recounting another memory, explaining why the album she still carries has those lines to Jared. Jared thinks it sounds legit, saying people like that were in the best position to get out.

People who saw Big Brother when he wasn’t there. People who suspected the rest of humanity before the rest of humanity turned dangerous. which I like because it avoids actually saying the conspiracy nut militia types are right. I like to picture this all as a bell curve – you need people on the edges in the event of disaster.

Jared adds that this is how his own father worked. If he and my brothers had hidden rather than fought… Well, they’d still be here.” It’s not clear if this is a disagreement they had then, where Jared hid and they fought (presumably dying, since the hideout they all knew about is uncompromised) or if they all fought but only Jared survived.

Anyway, she never did figure out what it meant, but somehow just did, and shows another memory of an old picture of the family ranch showing the peak.

I know Jared will have put it together. He’s smarter than me

Dammit, book, you were doing so well.

Telling about this unlocks the whole journey they took. Turns out the building she was in was across from the house with her aunt’s bolthole, where she thought Sharon might be.

I shouldn’t have let you see that, Melanie thought.
…
You’ll tell them where to find her. You’ll kill her, too.

So then why is she telling the other stuff? She claims that mentioning the peak isn’t enough to find Jared and Jamie alone, but the brainslugs have far more resources than a single person, so it’s not really that different.

And indeed, our brainslug protag says that yeah, that sure is a thing she’ll do. Good thing cellphones apparently don’t exist or she’d be doing it now. And Melanie asks what she gets out of it, which, you guys kill her kind and they’re basically terrified of you and supposedly souls care about each other.

But this is no longer a soul, it’s Melanie II, so she can’t find any answer.

In fact, when she thinks about telling the seeker, she nearly throws up again.

This shouldn’t have felt like a betrayal, the idea of continuing on my right and proper course. My first language, the true language of the soul that was spoken only on our planet of origin, had no word for betrayal or traitor.

So you guys do have a language. And you just…don’t use it, even when you’re lamenting that you wish you could chat before insertion. Maybe such issues are just so super rare that it’s been lost because it’s no longer necessary. It does seem almost none come from the origin planet, so it could be that it’s outdated and it’s just she’s so old she remembers it. I mean, if yeerks didn’t have to pop out of their hosts periodically, I could easily believe they’d lose their natural language quickly enough.

And yet I felt a deep well of guilt at the very idea of the Seeker. It would be wrong to tell her what I knew.Wrong, how? I countered my own thought viciously. If I stopped here and listened to the seductive suggestions of my host, I would truly be a traitor. That was impossible. I was a soul.
And yet I knew what I wanted, more powerfully and vividly than anything I had ever wanted in all the eight lives I’d lived.

Yeah yeah we’ve been over this you’ve been Kevined this was only explained to you multiple times.

I could not separate myself from this body’s wants. It was me, more than I’d ever intended it to
be. Did I want or did it want? Did that distinction even matter now?

And that’s it, subsuming complete. Good job, Melanie!