“I don’t think I’m THAT bad at English, but Google Translate has to be on my side sometimes ;).”
Jun 26
pokecj42
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12016119/
You’ve not tried to hate but tried to help and I thank you. I’ll try to take your advice. I started the story at the day of becoming a trainer to honor the series. Also, there are ten year old trainers and adult trainers. Its only ten year olds for the kids that watch it. Anyway the first may not be the best but if you keep reading it will get better. After all, a story grows over time!
Thanks for the review!
Jun 17Satoshi Mcfly
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/11995257/
was the plot atleast good
What I’m getting at here is that I could not understand the plot. I could not understand anything. Put a bare minimum of effort into adhering to the basic rules of language that are necessary to make writing comprehensible and maybe I will be able to.what about Boukenger and Megaranger,were those two atleast goodYou say you need a beta reader? Look here: https://www.fanfiction.net/topic/11834/42724996/1/Beta-SignupJun 24i dont know what the problem is since I always correct the document but there is a mistake in each onealso for hurricanger i plan to make Kanchi,crimson thunder and Keita Navy thunder
well its gone so thereBlackKuro23Thanks for the feedback, this is one of my first stories I’m not really good at writing.
Jun 26BlackKuro23
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12016384/
Also, I think some mistakes were from autocorrect although some were actually real
Jun 26snakebit1995
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12017380/
Hello there, I’d thought I’d take a moment to respond to some of the comments in your review. To start thank you for the feedback, it’s much appreciated.
First the dialogue. I know there are proper and improper ways to write more formal dialogue but I’ve never actually gotten a complaint about it before so for now I’ll stick with how it is, people don’t usually mind that.
Second the names. First I think Pokemon can be classified as a proper noun so it really isn’t that big of a deal, also I name all my Pokemon the species, so fennekin is just Fennekin.
Third- Grammar, sometimes things slip though and miss my proofread, those are usually my bad.
Fourth- the length of chapter 1. It’s a little shorter than I’d usually do for my first chapter but I felt like i ended at a good place and didn’t want to over bloat the first chapter.
Lastly the Title. I know it’s lame and usually I’d think up something more creative but that was all I could think of and I was just aiming to get the story published for now, I can change the title later.
If you have any suggestions let me know, thank you.
Jun 26[people don’t usually mind that.]
Most people are terrified of expressing any criticism, and will remain silent even if something does bother them. Generally, a lot of people have to be bothered before any one person brings it up — plus, no one is going to be bothered if you do it correctly. You lose nothing by changing it, but you will gain a lot. The rules aren’t arbitrary; they actually make it a lot easier to understand, for the reasons I outlined in the review.
[First I think Pokemon can be classified as a proper noun]
It isn’t, though. Proper nouns are defined as unique names; generally, if you can place an article in front of it, it’s not a proper noun. Just as you say “an animal”, you also say “a pokemon”, so it’s a general noun.
[also I name all my Pokemon the species, so fennekin is just Fennekin.]
And this demonstrates why the distinction is important. If you’re always capitalizing pokemon species, it’s difficult to tell when you’re referring to a specific pokemon or just the species.
Jun 26Tyrent649
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12016760/
I’m sorry you’re finding everything “nigh-unreadable” as you said, but I never asked for your opinion. I know I’m not the best writer, but I don’t care. This is the first fanfiction I’ve done. Its not like I’m writing a book to be published in real life. I simply had an Idea and thought I might share it with those who might like it. If someone doesn’t that’s fine. I hope you understand that if you wish to keep reading, I’m probably still gonna write the same way. I’ve just never been that great at it. So if you don’t like it, you can leave, I’m not forcing you to read it. Just go read one of the “thousands of other fics” that have my same exact idea. Good day.
Jun 26[I never asked for your opinion.]
You did by implication, as you posted your story on a public site with a reviewing feature. If you don’t want criticism, don’t throw your story to the wolves of public opinion.
Whatever then. Review if you want. I really don’t care. The only one that will suffer is you, seeing how my writing bothers you so much.
CynicalBuizel76I’d like to thank you for the review regarding “Project SPARK”. I received 12 chapter of the fanfiction from Openminded15 and I didn’t look it over before posting the first two. That was a mistake on my part. Thank you for letting me know about these errors so I may revise the current chapters and the ones to be posted in the future.
Jun 26
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12019294/
I appreciate what you are doing, I haven’t written in a while so I’m trying to get back into it. haha.
Especially since I haven’t really written about pokemon. ^_^;
as for the prologue I left it that way on purpose, I like to USUALLY keep them short. Sometimes I do more detail, most of my chapters end up about four pages long.*shrug* I guess I’ll have to get my beta reader to start looking at my stuff again. :)Thank you for reviewing.
Jun 26TgmChris
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12017966/
Thank you for the review, I’ll be sure to look at the story and try to fix any errors.
LuckycreeperHi there , it’s true I’m from Belgium , ( As seen on my profile ) , so it’s true that I’m not a hundred percent English and manage to write stories perfectly. You mentioned that I don’t need to chapter titles there , but I’m that kind of person who wants them to actually be there , otherwise it annoys me a little bit. And yes , I am a nonnative speaker , ( And didn’t understand the last part of the text you wrote ) , so sorry if my story contains some vocabulairy – or grammar – errors. I like to put spaces between sentences and punction marks etc… , that’s also the reason why I put my comma’s like this : — , — and not like this : —, —. I don’t know why but when I copy my text from Word into the document , it doesn’t copy the spaces between the sentences , so I go ahead and put them there , but when I press ” save ” , the spaces are gone. And the punctation mark I use to describe someone saying something is ‘ and ” , also something I normally use , and you will probably see in my future writing. The same with the * Flash * , I like to do it that way , so sorry if you have your concerns with this.
I hope you get why some things are different in my stories.
Jun 26[I like to put spaces between sentences and punction marks etc… , that’s also the reason why I put my comma’s like this : — , — and not like this : —, —.]
Okay, but that is objectively the wrong way to write in English. I know in French, at least, it’s correct to put spaces before punctuation, but the rules are different for English. If you want to write in English, you have to write by the rules of English. If you don’t like English, I remind you that writing in your native language is also an option.
Ok, I’ll ( Try ) to use the way it’s wrote in English, since that’s the main language and writing in English will be more succesfull.Any further tips to improve my writing skills or stories ?
https://www.fanfiction.net/topic/11834/21887406/1/Writing-Guide-Part-One-Grammarhttps://www.fanfiction.net/topic/11834/142410565/1/Writing-Guide-Part-Two-Story
Thanks for the links !I don’t think I’m THAT bad at English, but Google Translate has to be on my side sometimes ;).Anyway, have a nice day !
Jun 27NeonTheEevee
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12016309/
Thanks for the review!
Wow, looks like I have to fix a lot of things huh? Well, English isn’t my native language nor mother tongue, so I’ll try my best!
Also, this DOES have some Pokemon element to it. It’s just not shown at the moment, and it’s not just a standard muder mystery too.
…Actually, now that you said it, I should’ve put a supernatural genre and not adventure xD
Your review really helps, thanks a lot!
Jun 26
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/11998024/
Hey, I’m sorry. I corrected it already. Believe it or not, english isn’t my first language. I forget some stuff sometimes. And you said this story doesn’t have anything to do with pokemon and could also be told with humans. Yeah, I guess it could. But… where’s the fun in that? All we see in this fanfic archive are overused love stories about humans in the pokemon world that doesn’t even involve pokemon in the first place. How does my story not have anything to do with pokemon if there is only pokemon? I think the term you’re looking for is universal theme. I plan to try something different. Something that’s rarely seen in pokemon, like the prime reason that Lainym has to stay in the village being that it would break the social system. What I’m telling you is, wait for it. XD Well if you don’t like the story you could always just look for another one. Aria, over and out.
Jun 26[All we see in this fanfic archive are overused love stories about humans in the pokemon world that doesn’t even involve pokemon in the first place.]
…No? I’ve seen lots of fanfic that doesn’t involve the anime characters. Where are you looking?
[How does my story not have anything to do with pokemon if there is only pokemon?]
Just because you say they’re pokemon doesn’t make them pokemon. There are a lot of very cynical authors who will write original fiction starring original fiction, then hastily emboss the serial numbers on by giving their original characters canon names and claim it’s fanfic. That doesn’t seem to be what you’re doing, but it is important to keep in mind the canon you’re working with. You appear to be telling a standard clan/race war narrative, even though it’s completely arbitrary and kind of nonsensical to place espeon and umbreon in those roles. It’s not even a “all pokemon live in a village together” thing like in PMD, since in the opening taillow and butterfree are referred to like they’re wild animals. If you removed all the trademarked names, you could publish this as original fiction; there’s nothing that intrinsically links it to the Pokemon canon. Maybe you plan to include something uniquely Pokemon-y later on in the plot, but in that case you really should have included it in your first chapter. Your readers are here for Pokemon fanfic, you shouldn’t make them wait for it.
Ok thanks for the paragraph telling me what to do, but I think a good story comes with a plot with a climax in the right moment. I have a plan for my story and I intend to keep it. I’m not really working with any canon, it’s really something that I came up with on my own. The story itself is not really a warrior cats thing but maybe you think that because I only showed that until now. I’m still working on this story. And when I said all we see is love stories about humans without it even involving pokemon, of course I didn’t mean all the stories. Did you take that literally? And really, don’t tell me what to do for my readers. They are here because they like my story. If you’re such a good experient writer yourself, maybe you should also finish some of your stories. I took a quick look at your profile and your only pokemon story is unfinished. True I don’t have many myself, but I plan to finish mine. So, thanks for the… reminder? Aria, over and out.
Pokemonmaster05Well, no the title is not misspelled, and this takes place after ashes adventures, and focases on his sons
Jun 27
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12020135/
I think I fixed most of the mistakes you mentioned and updated it. Thank you for pointing out these mistakes~!! I normally have a hard time writing and I hope I changed everything correctly. I knew that changing to present tense was a bad idea, but I wanted to challenge myself a little
Jun 27TheNightshadow2
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12019906/
Oh ok, thanks for the advice. Anything else I should work on?
https://www.fanfiction.net/topic/11834/21887406/1/Writing-Guide-Part-One-Grammarhttps://www.fanfiction.net/topic/11834/142410565/1/Writing-Guide-Part-Two-Story
These may be useful.
Jun 28
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12020485/
Thank you for your review and your tips :D though it hurts but ok i’ll do my best to improve :D
Jun 27
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12019889/
Characters go with the story….. Summary will be fixed when I can actually get the feel for what the story will be more of…… also I am seriously working on this…….. plus the title will be changed later as well.
Jun 27[Summary will be fixed when I can actually get the feel for what the story will be more of]
That is something you should already know before posting a story. I have seen what happens when people write without planning, and the result is nothing but a nightmare for both the author and the audience. This topic explains this in more detail: https://www.fanfiction.net/topic/11834/143363660/1/Actually-Writing-an-OT-Fic-Part-2
Okay so I really like that you are wanting to help me. Thing is I know what it is about I just can’t really write a summary all that well. If I put what I have in beta reader do you think you could maybe help me?I don’t do beta reading, but these people do: https://www.fanfiction.net/topic/11834/42724996/1/Beta-SignupOkay well I actually finally realized how I wanted to do my story so I am taking down what I have and it will be up again soon under a new name.I would recommend just editing the existing story so you don’t confuse anyone who already favorited or followed, but okay…No one has followed it
SilverThorne333Hello, I’d like to thank you for your feedback on my story! I’m being sincere, I haven’t gotten many reviews on really any of my stories and I’ve been desperately searching for them. While your feedback was definitely negative, grammar and tense seem to be the only issues, correct? I’ll do my best to fix all of that in edits and do better from here on, it’s a lot harder to write than I first gave it credit for. Once again, thank you for the feedback but in the future, could you also list positives so that I know where my strengths are? Feel free to respond or not but either way, have a great day!
Jun 28
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12021626/
I’ve never been a confident person when it comes to my abilities. And I use the apostrophe to separate thoughts and make it easier to read. Its how I was taught to right. I apologize for the confusion but its a habit I’m not likely to kick anytime soon.
Jun 28[Its how I was taught to right.]
By who? It’s not often taught in schools, in my experience.
I’m homeschooled. My English lessons are odd and I usually get a bad grade for not separating thoughts with apostrophes. I don’t know why seeing as I’m not the teacher.Hmm. Well, nobody can be right all the time. Keep in mind that rules aren’t arbitrary; if something doesn’t make sense, it might be a good idea to experiment with something that looks better.Jun 28
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12021739/
Over the years I have been writing I have been subjugated by many people, including tou, as to how to write dialouge properly within a story. I have been told at least five different ways (now, six) how to “correctly” do it, with each subsequent person critisizing the last that they told me incorrectly. Again, you are about the sixth to do so.
I’m afraid I can’t listen to your advice because I’ve concluded none of you know the “correct way” or else it simply doesn’t exist. I will write how I please.
As for the canon thing, this doesn’t take place in any canon universe. There are 63 prior chapters establishing this.
Jun 28There is objectively one correct way of writing dialogue, as established by style guides and grammar textbooks. Here is an authoritative source, assuming FFN doesn’t eat the link: (“How To Format Dialogue”, First Manuscript)
[As for the canon thing, this doesn’t take place in any canon universe.]
Then why are you insisting it’s Pokemon fanfic?
Agh, FFN. firstmanuscript(dot)com/format-dialogue/Jun 28
Jun 28[Perhaps I misunderstood the way he operated the dialouge]
I just checked the first chapter on Google Books and…
[“Hey,” someone said, “where’s Josh?”]
[“He just, you know, disappeared,” Bette said. “Just like Mr. Trentlake.”]
…I believe you did, because you don’t format dialogue like that in your story. I would like to point out that this formatting is in accordance with the paragraph I wrote. This is because it is the objective standard used by editors and publishers, who use it because it makes the most sense and provides the most clarity.
Learning from published books is a good idea in general, but for something as complicated as dialogue, which has tons of IFs and BUTs, it’s best to consult a style guide to get a full understanding.
[I am insisting it is a pokemon fic because it tends to involve pokemon.]
Just because you’re giving your OCs the names of canon characters doesn’t make them canon characters.
Jun 28
Legendaries are canon characters, since they’re singular entities. Even your non-legendary characters aren’t acting anything like pokemon — they’re acting like humans who happen to be named after pokemon.Jun 28
First, a disclaimer: This story was written on Deviantart originally, which has no “categories”. Thus, translating it to http://www.fanfiction.net which insists I have to place this in either “Games”, “Manga” or “Anime” categories makes it problemetic from the standpoint of my own story, as either of these categories is dishonest. Yet I had to pick one, so I chose games.
This entire saga simply revolves around the concept of “pokemon”. Forget any sort of canonicity with the games, anime or manga as these things do not apply to this alternate universe. In this universe, I have made up my own rules, thus this universe has rules that you are not familiar with if following the canonicity of all other media involving pokemon. Thus, this story is not directly or even indirectly connected to other pokemon media except in terms of concept.
Although, that being said, you may choose to think of my story as Pokemon Mystery Dungeon (in which they talk and act like humans) but with humans in the world and also it’s 1000 years later because that would be at least close.
Anyway, due to this universe being incredibly “free” there are established rules which do not abide by typical pokemon standards, such as legendaries. In this universe, legendaries are simply rare and usually only reproduce once per thousand years or so, as an example. There are other such rules that are in this universe which do not abide by the other media’s rules. As stated earlier, there are 63 other chapters and two movies prior to this fic which lets the audience know the laws that govern this universe.
I don’t know how to put my story in any clearer terms. Thank you for your previous advice, over and out.
I really hate PMD for legitimizing this crap.
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FedoraMike
https://www.fanfiction.net/u/6285586/
Reply link:https://www.fanfiction.net/pm2/post.php?rid=187648484#new
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Subject: re: Your review to Pokémon Mike: Kanto
A response to your review athttps://www.fanfiction.net/r/12022973/
Thank you for this review. Constructive criticism is something I was hoping for, and your advice will help me write further chapters. I’ll probably rewrite the beginning a little too. As for some of your points though, allow me to explain. As for separating author notes, that was something I simply forgot to do.
As for Mike’s family, I’ll rewrite that part so it will make more sense. And when Mike’s father left him, the reason he wasn’t worried about him was because he was fourteen when he died, the age said he should become a Pokémon trainer.
As for his parent’s deaths, that was entirely my fault, as I didn’t think about that.
With Mike’s age, I’ll tweak that a little, but the main message with that is that being older doesn’t instantly make you great at everything. Team Rocket would be just as big a threat to a 16 year old than it would be a 10 year old, considering they took over the Pokémon Tower and
And hasn’t had a lot of experience catching Pokémon, so that would also be a challenge for him.
Nonetheless, I appreciate your honesty and I hope I can make this story better with your advice.
C…
This message has been truncated due to length. To view in full, please visit site.
“I appreciate what you are doing, I haven’t written in a while so I’m trying to get back into it. haha.”
White text is white.
Fixed.
“subjugated”
We are the evil Empire of Grammar.