Responses are mostly appreciative.
Thanks for the review on my story. I changed it quite a bit from what it was originally. It was pretty horrible before. I’ll take what you said to note so I can make the story better. One question. What do you think of the plotline? Minus the mistakes, is it interesting?
Until then peace out from Abyss.
42m agoI currently have two other stories that I’m fixing. Maybe after I’ve fixed them I can get your input on them.
secs agoI meant it when I said that I couldn’t continue reading. It’s too hard to understand what’s going on when conversations are lumped into walls of text like that. From the opening, it seems… decent, I suppose? You’ve introduced a bit more personality and backstory than most original trainer fics do.
re: Your review to The Power of A Shining Diamond
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12885041/
St Elmo’s Fire, Thank you for telling me this. I just started making this story and just wrote down what came to mind. I am not that experienced in this type of thing so it really helps out for telling me my mistakes. The next chapter I will try to do better, but it possibly will have some errors.
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12884176/
Yes, I do get requests for lemons from certain people (Im not saying who for privacy reasons), so much that is pretty frikkin darn annoying. not to mention I just got back from a road trip stuck in a car with my annoying step brother who acts like a little shit because of how spoiled the little brat is, so yes im sorry if this note seems critical, but that is why. just so you know
secs agoI see. That must be very annoying, yes.
thank you for the info and whatnot, but just so you know im actually kind of bad (as in really bad) at either writing stories or just with writing in general. I will be honest, I suck at language arts.
secs agoAw, don’t be down on yourself! Everyone starts somewhere! You’ll improve if you keep at it.
re: Your review to Sam\’s Alolan Pokémon Journey
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12758652/
IDC ABOUT UUUUUU!!!
re: Your review to Hero in the Making
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12895198/
I actually appreciate such a detailed review. It’s a lot more constructive than someone just saying “great story” or something.
Most of the issues probably stem from the fact that I didn’t edit the full chapter after writing it. I knew there were some weak parts and areas that needed some reworking, but I just kinda jumped the gun I guess.
As for the Pokemon vs pokemon thing, I’ve seen it go back and forth but honestly I did it the way that feels right to me, and I’m just gonna stick with that. Either way, I don’t think it has a big impact on the overall story.
I’m not really sure which way I’m gonna take the crush on May. It might develop, it might not. There might be some new character that gets introduced for something like that, it’ll just unfold in time, and I’ll add the Romance listing when I get to that point.
And yeah, It might be a bit of a challenge to keep things new and fresh. I’m gonna aim to build on the in-game plot, as well as adding in some new plots and story elements of my own.
Again, thanks for that nice review! Really helps me get a feel of where I currently am in my writing.
re: Your review to A Burning Chill
11 AprTanaki Wolf
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12896054/
Thanks much! Your detailed feedback is appreciated, I didn’t expect such a review.
I could have done more to expand on the strange case of fire-types living in the mountains – I was trying to go for a sort of “it’s too hot for them on the beaches”, but that didn’t really play out in what I finally did with the story. I already felt the story was pretty heavy on scene setting and I didn’t want the first half to just be a history lesson.
I fall back to “the male” and “the female” since I have trouble coming up with ways to refer to each of the characters without being too repetitive. I need to expand my vocabulary in that regard – it is a little weird to use that with humans. Are there any terms that you like to use to make the distinction with characters?
secs agoYou actually don’t need to worry about epithets getting repetitive — simple references shouldn’t draw attention to themselves anyway, so varying them to look interesting is actually just distracting. It’s a similar thing with how I disagree with people that say not to use “said”. “The woman” and “the man” would be fine here. You could also give them slightly different job descriptions, like one being an assistant or specialist.
re: Your review to Artificially Intelligent
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12891473/
Alright, time to address some stuff. 1. None of the characters ever have a ‘thought’. None. If you are referring to SAMI, then you’re mistaken. SAMI is literally a VOICE inside Lucio’s head. Coming through a speaker. If you read until the end, you’ll notice that Daniel can hear SAMI’s voice. Also, think about it. How would a snake take notes? Perhaps by using its tail to hold a pen? Also, I apologize for my inability to tell the difference between its and it’s. Thank you for taking the time to criticize my work.
secs agoThe dialogue paragraph is a standard model covering every possible point of confusion in case it needs to be referenced in the future. I wasn’t referencing anything specific with the bit about thoughts.
[Also, think about it. How would a snake take notes? Perhaps by using its tail to hold a pen?]
A snake’s tail does not have the requisite fine motor control, and it would have to contort itself awkwardly to get the tail near its face. So, no, that’s not an obvious assumption to make. If you’re picturing something unusual, it’s a good idea to describe it fully.
6h agoAnd one more thing. I write on a whim, so I just write whatever comes into my head and seems like a good idea at the time. It’s no big deal, I’m probably never going to make a chapter 2 anyway, because I don’t really have any ideas.
P.S.: the reason I capitalized VOICE in the first post is because you can’t italicize words in PMs.
P.P.S.: [A snake’s tail does not have the requisite fine motor control] I know I never mention it, but this takes place about 3,000 years in the future, in a Fallout-esque world. Feel free to interpret that as you wish.
re: Your review to Pokémon:Dimensions
13 AprMystery Man R
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/11989407/
thanks for advice! I am a noob at writing I’m not gonna lie but it’s nice to know someone wants to give good advice besides just bad review.
re: Your review to Atlas Academy Adventures
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12902046/
Thanks for the feedback! It’s my first time writing a story so I appreciate it. I made some changes, hopefully it looks better and makes it easier to read.
secs agoThat is much better, thank you. There are still several things that make it confusing to read, though. In particular, you shouldn’t do *action effects* in prose — again, that’s the sort of thing only seen in scripts. Describe what’s happening instead.
This thread is also helpful for a lot of grammar stuff: https://www.fanfiction.net/topic/11834/21887406/1/Writing-Guide-Part-One-Grammar
re: Your review to Dark Types
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12892230/
Thank you for the constructive criticism. I will consider changing the title if I can come up with a better one.