The Other Pokeauthors, Part 114

“Thanks for the advice…but no.”

Edit: They actually did elaborate! See the response below.

Reply to review
16 JunManifold
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12968597/

Hi there, thank you for your detailed feedback. I apppreciate it a lot. Your comment about titling chapters makes sense but for now, I would like to maintain consistency among places where this fic is posted. I may revisit this at a later time for cosmetic changes.

Regarding Pokemon capitalization, I understand your perspective but will ultimately disagree. Language is flexible, and I will observe convention rather than a stricter application of grammar. I think with nomenclature it gets more complicated, too, depending on whether you think Pikachu is mouse or if it’s the scientific species name.

Your comment about simplistic narration makes sense, and I would like to hear more. If you could cite specific passages of prose where you think I could have done more, I think that might illustrate your point more thoroughly.The primary goal of this project is to update every two weeks and with a buffer, perhaps at the cost of time to revise as thoroughly as I’d like, so while I may not immediately incorporate your feedback, I will look to do so in the future. I will think on comments when I eventually go back to these early chapters and revise again.

Thank you for your time!

secs ago[I think with nomenclature it gets more complicated, too, depending on whether you think Pikachu is mouse or if it’s the scientific species name.]

I’m not sure what you mean. Species names aren’t capitalized.

You can capitalize pokemon if you want, but I will say that I find it more confusing to do so, especially if you plan to use species names as the names of individual pokemon, like Ash’s pikachu named Pikachu. Capital letters create a kind of “pop-out” effect that draws the reader’s eye and forces them to slow down, so it’s a bit jarring to use them for things that will be showing up so frequently.

[Your comment about simplistic narration makes sense, and I would like to hear more. If you could cite specific passages of prose where you think I could have done more, I think that might illustrate your point more thoroughly.]

The first thing that stuck out to me was the opening paragraph, actually. I get that describing the scene is a logical way to start the story, and you do show emotion and opinion in the description, which is good, but it still felt a bit flat to me, like it was an obligation we had to go through to get to the real story rather than something that contributed to it holistically? I don’t know, it’s a bit hard to describe. I may just be weird.

In general, what I notice is that the narration sentences tend to be very short, which makes Leah’s thoughts feel sharp and staccato, like a soldier rattling off a message. Yet at the same time there tend to be a lot of sentences per paragraph, creating this weird effect where the individual elements feel very rapid but there is actually a lot of time spent on individual details, making things feel drawn out at the same time. If these are the effects you were going for then you did a good job, but it did seem a little odd to me.

Just a Quick Note…
16 JunMidnightWidow87
Do you remember me? I hope you do. Now, I’m not gonna snap at you or anything, I just wanted to.. Let you KNOW something.
I wrote the story you commented on when I was like, 7. I am now 13 and I can reassure you that I HATE the book/fiction. I have also quit the pokémon fandom, I really don’t care anymore. I only have the FNaF fandom with me now, and http://www.Fanfiction.Net is no longer my writing place. I write stories on Wattpad now, which is better then this. Errmm, no offence, Fanfiction…
So go ahead! Report the story for all I care, I just came to say that although your comment reminded me about my brother and made me cry, it also gave me a lot of determination. Determination to write better. Determination to let people enjoy my stories like how I did. And guess what? I succeeded. I may not be the most popular author on Wattpad, but those who read my books are enjoying it, and that’s all I care about.
So, I just have one thing to say.
Thank you. You, St Elmo’s Fire, have given me hope for me to continue writing. The correct way =)
Much thanks,
~MidnightSpider87
re: Your review to Pokémon Orange
21 Junlordrocsen
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12950184/

Thanks for the advice…but no.

secs agoCould you elaborate?
9h agoYou are too perfectionist pal, you try too hard. Please try to lecture someone else.

secs agoNo, you try too little. Proper grammar is the absolute bare minimum standard to hold stories to. Be considerate to your readers and don’t make them have to puzzle out what you were trying to say.

If you don’t want my reviews, you need to block me. But if the very concept of people caring about grammar offends you, you can only protect yourself by leaving the site for one that doesn’t allow public comments, because I am not the only person who says these things.

You have received a message from:

lordrocsen
https://www.fanfiction.net/u/10445856/

Reply link: https://www.fanfiction.net/pm2/post.php?rid=238578230#new
——————–

Consider yourself blocked kid

——————–

I feel like I’m going to regret this somehow…
22 Jun[anonymized for protection]
Honestly, I feel like I’m going to regret sending this message, but I am the type of girl who acts first and stops to think later, so I might as well just go through with this.

I don’t believe I’ve received many reviews from you or your friends (in fact, the only one I can remember off the top of my head was from Farla, on my story [REDACTED]), but from what I can tell the reviews themselves aren’t particularly harsh. They’re critical, yes, but I wouldn’t classify any reviews you’ve made as “cyberbullying”, at least not on their own.

However, I’m also aware that you have a rather negative reputation on this site-you and the rest of your friends as well (forgive me, I don’t remember all their names). Whether that stems completely from the little flame war that seems to be going on between you and Dragon’s Blaze or people taking your reviews the wrong way, I’m not entirely sure myself (the war I’ll admit to taking part in slightly; I’m not one to claim innocence when I know I’m not). I’m just going off of what I know here.

I’ve also come across your website dragon-quill(dot)net, and after reading the other PMs you’ve posted there, I do have to ask a few questions.1. What’s your motive behind doing all this?

Constructive criticism is fine, and I would agree that it’s necessary on a site such as this. However, most, if not all, of your reviews just seem to be copy and pasted with little details changed here and there to fit the story you’re reviewing. On top of that, although your methods have clearly upset several authors, you refuse to even consider changing your ways, even just the slightest bit.

In your profile, you did say that your reviews aren’t intended as flames, and I can believe that since none of them are cruel or mean. But are they actually meant to be helpful, or is there some sort of ulterior motive behind everything? Looking at the big picture-your reputation on this site, the fact that you remain set in your own ways, and of course, the fact that you post private messages on your personal website-has me questioning your motives quite a lot. No offense, but from an outsider’s perspective, it does look as though you’re baiting authors into conversing with you (whether in a positive manner or otherwise) as a way of seeking fame.

….Well, I had more questions, but I forgot all of them so I’ll just cut this message off here.

I directed her to the FAQ thread.

10 Comments

  1. Definitely Not the Reeds of Enki says:
    On my phone again, so my off-computer persona and the inevitable typos that follow will have to do.

     

    That was one heck of a ride, MidnightWidow87’s PM. I thought it was blaming you for their leaving the fandom, but then it turned into appreciation.

     

    I like the word you used to describe short sentences rattled off (staccato). I might use that in the future. What you said about capitalization also caughr my interest; I’ve always just advised excess capitalization for clarity’s sake, using someone’s pidgey versus a horde of pidgey, for example, but you’re right. We do slow down for capitals for a brief second; possibly because we relate it to new beginnings or an item of great importance. I might use that as well.

  2. The response is whited out, hard to see unless you right click and select the text so it appears in blue, just letting you know. Don’t know if the site’s being weird or if something went wrong in one of the steps getting it here or not.

    As for the response itself, I don’t really get how offering someone advice on grammar is being a perfectionist. It really is the first thing people notice about a story. To me, writing is weird in this way that you have to take time to see if it’s really good, but if it has bad grammar, it’s an immediate sign of poor quality, possibly because the story hasn’t been edited or some other deficiency in the process.

    Like, with art, you can have all these different and varying styles, and they can look weird, but still be fun to look at, but if you mess with the basic building blocks of writing, it shows. Immediately. I won’t even read through stories that have cool premises but are just painful to go over because of the grammar violations. (Outside of reviewing, of course, lol). If anything, I’d say my reviews harp on people more.

    People can be weird, I guess. The review in question really wasn’t that intense at all. You just made said person aware of a few capitalization issues and clued them in on dialogue rules and gave advice on first chapter stuff. Then, above, you get this person named FandomReader12 saying “Sorry about St. Elmo’s Fire, he’s a jerk but some of us actually now how to talk about writing. I’d say your story is pretty good, keep writing my dude.” What did they say about writing other than some vague thing that can be applied to literally any story, ever? 

     

    1. And in improper grammar, too! What do we “now” about grammar, guys? Clearly not as much as this person, who can’t even manage to use the right spelling when telling people that you don’t need to be talking to people about grammar/spelling stuff! Captain Irony come to save the day, I guess. 

      1. Ghost says:

        If they are on a tablet, they are annoying to type with because the spell checker on some of them is so stupid it makes Neanderthals look like scholars. So that might be why.

         

         

        Just tried to warn someone about the whole shebang and my tablet made Fire’s warnings look readable compared to the message I sent them. Stupid spell and grammar checkers…

         

        EDIT: Looked at his response. Why do I get the feeling if Elmo had carried it on Rocsen would’ve descended into  “I fucked your mom” comments?

        1. Definitely Not the Reeds of Enki says:
          Oh, believe ma, I’m well aware of the typos that can be made when not at the computer haha. I make more than a few myself. It’s the timing of it, when people are complaining about how grammar isn’t a problem and wben they make errors (usually worse than just a missing “k,” admittedly), that bugs me. Blaze is the worst at it, but it’s still aggravating just overall.
  3. Godly Pika Y says:

    “Perfectionist” This kid has no idea what a perfectionist is.

    1. Definitely Not the Reeds of Enki says:
      In all seriousness, true perfectionism is a massively debilitating disorder. Someone can have the world’s best essay sitting in their desk, but won’t turn it in because it isn’t “perfect.” It’s pretty scary. Never happened to me, but I’ve met a few people who had it. It’s not a fun thing. Striving for an impossible goal, only to beat yourself up for the inevitable failures that follow in aiming for that unattainable objective, as well as all the other things that pile up, like a brilliant student having failing grades because nothing they ever make is worthy enough to turn in, in their eyes.

      Again, on my phone, so there may be a few spelling errors. Tried to be a bit more thorough this time, but I’ve become sadly reliant on the red squiggly line.

      1
      1. Ghost says:

        I’m usually either “this needs to be perfect” or “I don’t give a rat’s ass, let’s get it finished off”. It’s annoying because I’ll either get started on something and then never finish something because it’s not perfect or get bored of it and submit it in a rubbish state. 

        1. Definitely Not the Reeds of Enki says:
          I’ve heard that too, yeah. Well, I hope it’s manageable for you, Ghost. Can’t really offer any advice, but I hope you’ve got it under control for the most part.
          1. Ghost says:

            Cheers. I just roll with it. 

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