“Thanks for the advice…but no.”
Edit: They actually did elaborate! See the response below.
Reply to review
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12968597/
Hi there, thank you for your detailed feedback. I apppreciate it a lot. Your comment about titling chapters makes sense but for now, I would like to maintain consistency among places where this fic is posted. I may revisit this at a later time for cosmetic changes.
Regarding Pokemon capitalization, I understand your perspective but will ultimately disagree. Language is flexible, and I will observe convention rather than a stricter application of grammar. I think with nomenclature it gets more complicated, too, depending on whether you think Pikachu is mouse or if it’s the scientific species name.
Your comment about simplistic narration makes sense, and I would like to hear more. If you could cite specific passages of prose where you think I could have done more, I think that might illustrate your point more thoroughly.The primary goal of this project is to update every two weeks and with a buffer, perhaps at the cost of time to revise as thoroughly as I’d like, so while I may not immediately incorporate your feedback, I will look to do so in the future. I will think on comments when I eventually go back to these early chapters and revise again.
Thank you for your time!
secs ago[I think with nomenclature it gets more complicated, too, depending on whether you think Pikachu is mouse or if it’s the scientific species name.]
I’m not sure what you mean. Species names aren’t capitalized.
You can capitalize pokemon if you want, but I will say that I find it more confusing to do so, especially if you plan to use species names as the names of individual pokemon, like Ash’s pikachu named Pikachu. Capital letters create a kind of “pop-out” effect that draws the reader’s eye and forces them to slow down, so it’s a bit jarring to use them for things that will be showing up so frequently.
[Your comment about simplistic narration makes sense, and I would like to hear more. If you could cite specific passages of prose where you think I could have done more, I think that might illustrate your point more thoroughly.]
The first thing that stuck out to me was the opening paragraph, actually. I get that describing the scene is a logical way to start the story, and you do show emotion and opinion in the description, which is good, but it still felt a bit flat to me, like it was an obligation we had to go through to get to the real story rather than something that contributed to it holistically? I don’t know, it’s a bit hard to describe. I may just be weird.
In general, what I notice is that the narration sentences tend to be very short, which makes Leah’s thoughts feel sharp and staccato, like a soldier rattling off a message. Yet at the same time there tend to be a lot of sentences per paragraph, creating this weird effect where the individual elements feel very rapid but there is actually a lot of time spent on individual details, making things feel drawn out at the same time. If these are the effects you were going for then you did a good job, but it did seem a little odd to me.
Just a Quick Note…
Do you remember me? I hope you do. Now, I’m not gonna snap at you or anything, I just wanted to.. Let you KNOW something.
I wrote the story you commented on when I was like, 7. I am now 13 and I can reassure you that I HATE the book/fiction. I have also quit the pokémon fandom, I really don’t care anymore. I only have the FNaF fandom with me now, and http://www.Fanfiction.Net is no longer my writing place. I write stories on Wattpad now, which is better then this. Errmm, no offence, Fanfiction…
So go ahead! Report the story for all I care, I just came to say that although your comment reminded me about my brother and made me cry, it also gave me a lot of determination. Determination to write better. Determination to let people enjoy my stories like how I did. And guess what? I succeeded. I may not be the most popular author on Wattpad, but those who read my books are enjoying it, and that’s all I care about.
So, I just have one thing to say.
Thank you. You, St Elmo’s Fire, have given me hope for me to continue writing. The correct way =)
re: Your review to Pokémon Orange
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12950184/
Thanks for the advice…but no.
secs agoCould you elaborate?
9h agoYou are too perfectionist pal, you try too hard. Please try to lecture someone else.
secs agoNo, you try too little. Proper grammar is the absolute bare minimum standard to hold stories to. Be considerate to your readers and don’t make them have to puzzle out what you were trying to say.
If you don’t want my reviews, you need to block me. But if the very concept of people caring about grammar offends you, you can only protect yourself by leaving the site for one that doesn’t allow public comments, because I am not the only person who says these things.
You have received a message from:
Reply link: https://www.fanfiction.net/pm2/post.php?rid=238578230#new
Consider yourself blocked kid
I feel like I’m going to regret this somehow…
22 Jun[anonymized for protection]
Honestly, I feel like I’m going to regret sending this message, but I am the type of girl who acts first and stops to think later, so I might as well just go through with this.
I don’t believe I’ve received many reviews from you or your friends (in fact, the only one I can remember off the top of my head was from Farla, on my story [REDACTED]), but from what I can tell the reviews themselves aren’t particularly harsh. They’re critical, yes, but I wouldn’t classify any reviews you’ve made as “cyberbullying”, at least not on their own.
However, I’m also aware that you have a rather negative reputation on this site-you and the rest of your friends as well (forgive me, I don’t remember all their names). Whether that stems completely from the little flame war that seems to be going on between you and Dragon’s Blaze or people taking your reviews the wrong way, I’m not entirely sure myself (the war I’ll admit to taking part in slightly; I’m not one to claim innocence when I know I’m not). I’m just going off of what I know here.
I’ve also come across your website dragon-quill(dot)net, and after reading the other PMs you’ve posted there, I do have to ask a few questions.1. What’s your motive behind doing all this?
Constructive criticism is fine, and I would agree that it’s necessary on a site such as this. However, most, if not all, of your reviews just seem to be copy and pasted with little details changed here and there to fit the story you’re reviewing. On top of that, although your methods have clearly upset several authors, you refuse to even consider changing your ways, even just the slightest bit.
In your profile, you did say that your reviews aren’t intended as flames, and I can believe that since none of them are cruel or mean. But are they actually meant to be helpful, or is there some sort of ulterior motive behind everything? Looking at the big picture-your reputation on this site, the fact that you remain set in your own ways, and of course, the fact that you post private messages on your personal website-has me questioning your motives quite a lot. No offense, but from an outsider’s perspective, it does look as though you’re baiting authors into conversing with you (whether in a positive manner or otherwise) as a way of seeking fame.
….Well, I had more questions, but I forgot all of them so I’ll just cut this message off here.
I directed her to the FAQ thread.