“Fortunately I don’t think PTSD is real so that doesn’t bother me.”
re: Your review to More than I bargand for a jolteon x sylveon fanfic
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/13052412/
it’s just something i do in my own time but hey your right but that’s the idea it’s my first fic and it’s gonna be cheesy that the idea of this website is it not? and if you are just trying to be an asshole sorry your mom cheating on your dad srry man
secs agoNo. Your profile says you are American. You know how to write English and I am sure you have read at least one book in English. This isn’t your personal choice or your personal expression. You chose not to put any effort into making this comprehensible.
Let me make something very clear: “the idea of this website” is that you get to post what you want, but also that people get to say what they want in response. You need to learn how to handle that if you want to be on this website.
29m agoyeah, that means I can post “unreadable crap” and that link is making fun of you, your name is st. elmo fire! so stop dancing for the homeland. so stop talking about people when you amazing world of gumball fanfiction and sorry about last night I was 5 in deep in your mom tell her to make some extra cookies tonight;)
21m agoyou know I’m now realizing that I’m just being a jerk and part of thinks your actually trying to help so how about I stop being a jerk and we can be reasonable. Friends?
secs agoNo, we’re not friends. My only interaction with you has been you throwing juvenile insults at me. But yes, please take this as a lesson to be more mature when dealing with people.
Rumours and a Verdict
Greetings, St Elmo’s Fire.
So, if it isn’t obvious enough people have been telling me about you in a more than mildly negative light.
What do I currently think?
Well, I’m going to say that I’m quite neutral on this matter. Your review has helpful points, some points which are more or less already going to be covered, as well as some points which aren’t quite either.
Thanks for pointing out those typos – getting it fixed quick (probably going to put a small notice temporarily as well).
The case about the action? I’ll be keeping those, but they are going to be very rare occurences. The main reason for this? I could describe out the character prodding another character, but that’s – in my opinion – a little boring. These actions are also only really going to happen when in the ‘perspective’ of someone who isn’t consciously aware of it – in this case, in sleep. I’ll also probably do it if it’s happening in, say, a conversation, to get their attention.
Some of the points that you stated are, in my opinion, not an actual problem. The reason for me stating this is simply this – English is way too ambigious to bother with proper specification all the time. The one where you were saying that it was an even sentence but I used exclaimed? I wanted to use ‘exclaimed’ because the sentence wasn’t yelled, but it wasn’t expressed in the usual manner. Earlier I stated the following; “…only barely heard by the male, having been called out during the cacophony of applause and announcement.”
As for the first part of the sentence, I will be adding the word ‘aforementioned’, but regardless it still works as it is. It’s not common, you are right, but remember different people can have different styles of writing.
A small problem with the formatting issues – whilst to you they look incorrect, to me they are, well, as they are. My teachers never pointed it out in the time that I was in school – some of them even used it, too. The main problem with this issue is that it’s very ambigious at the moment. Whether or not it may seem like that to you I shall leave that point as it stands.
As for the reason I use capitals for Pokémon species? I know that in terms of English, it is considered incorrect – heck, even in some small Pokémon stories I’ve done some writing for (which I won’t post until I’ve finished my current one) I used lowercase. The weird thing about me though? I just plain don’t like it. I’ve seen it capitalised so much by now that seeing it lowercase disheartens me. Bad habit, sure, but it is what it is. Maybe I’ll get over this sometime, but it isn’t going to be with the current story I’m writing.
Your point about the change in perspective during the battle was more or less a test, in a sense. I am hoping for more people to see it and, in their review, talk about it. I wanted to try to capture what both characters thoughts would be like in battle. Needless to say, I may have taken a very convoluted way of doing it. I’m not going to change that though.
I think people dislike you because you are bringing a lot of formalities to a site which people feel you should be free to post what you want about a thing you like – specifically, stories set in the universe of a favourite game, show, so on, and let people enjoy what you thought about. I understand that said formalities probably should be placed so that readers do not have a problem with reading the content, but again, this isn’t exactly the kind of site where you would expect these to be advertised or spread about in the media (very few should, for that matter). Were I to write original content, I’d probably do a lot more checking and have a beta reader or two, but this is more of a leisure thing.
Off the top of my head, I can’t think of anything else about your review that is noteworthy, and though I feel there are some things I should bring up, I can’t think of any way to say any of that at the moment.
To summarise, your review was helpful and I am thankful for that, though there are some points which are left to an author’s discretion.
I apologise in advance if I happen to offend you in any way.
secs agoFor future reference, it’s easier if you quote what you’re responding to, especially if you’re addressing points out of order.
And have you seen my side of the story, the link in my profile? The one with actual evidence?
[I could describe out the character prodding another character, but that’s – in my opinion – a little boring.]
I don’t understand what you mean. Surely, giving the action a unique description such as “he felt an uncomfortable jabbing in his side he didn’t recognize” is less boring than simply writing out what it is?
The thing is, it wasn’t just the lack of an exclamation point. That dialogue just didn’t sound like something shouted out quickly and in surprise, i.e. an exclamation.
[A small problem with the formatting issues – whilst to you they look incorrect, to me they are, well, as they are. My teachers never pointed it out in the time that I was in school – some of them even used it, too. The main problem with this issue is that it’s very ambigious at the moment. Whether or not it may seem like that to you I shall leave that point as it stands.]
What are you talking about? The dialogue formatting? You teachers didn’t point it out because dialogue formatting never comes up unless you’re actually going into a writing profession. Please google it if you’re unsure; you will find every grammar resource agrees with me.
[To summarise, your review was helpful and I am thankful for that, though there are some points which are left to an author’s discretion.]
I’m just going to say that I wasn’t trying to insist I was objectively right (except in the grammatical aspects), and nor should you. You’re free to make choices as a writer, but people are going to react to and have opinions on those choices that you’ll have to take into account.
4h agoYou are right, yes, apologies.
[On topic of rumours.]
I didn’t endeavour to look it up previously because I, in all honesty, want to remain unbiased about this. My reason for this is… well, to try and avoid any sort of mess. I just want to write a story, nothing out of the ordinary for this site.
[On topic of action use.]
Whilst true, I’ll still remain with the use of them. If the action is done in a specific way though, I’m certainly going to be describing it, there isn’t a way around that. Otherwise, if the character is unaware, is being interacted with and the scene is being written in their perspective? Simple statements.
[On topic of word use – exclaimed.]
I needed a word with oddly specific needs, this was as close as I could get. Besides, it’s not only used in surprise, just commonly used in those situations.
On a relative note, I need to find words that mean the action of ‘not quite yelling, yet not talking at a comfortable volume’. Bit uncommon, if you ask me.
[On topic of format.]
You are probably right – I have yet to look it up, and when I do I feel this will just back you up so for now I shall assume you are – and I should make some changes.
One thing I will bring up again though – most people who post stories on here would post stories on here for either leisure, or because they want to express themselves or their thoughts. Because of this, I imagine people don’t want to be strict. Slightly counter-intuitive considering reviews exist, but this is my perspective on the matter at the moment.
I may fix it in the story, but that will have to come a bit later – it’s 2:46 AM on a Monday as of the moment this sentence is completed.
I (hopefully) wasn’t trying to insist I was objectively correct, either. Preferences are just as they are, really.
4 SepDusky Raptor
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/13053691/
Hello, there! First off, I want to say I greatly appreciate the effort you went to with writing this constructive critique and review! Secondly, I don’t see you as making demands, just merely helpful tweaks! I’ve already been visited by someone who made similar remarks regarding “breathe” and “breath”, and man, those kinds of minor slip-ups really get me. Thanks for letting me know! I think I went back to fix it, though.
As far as military knowledge goes, I was actually in the Marines for eight years, and while some of them are idiots for guns (I get somewhat dumb myself when I was on the rifle or pistol ranges, ha!) they are still pretty human and down to earth. Most of them are just kids that join right out of high school, so there’s that. I wanted to portray that by taking conversations away I’ve had with my guys over the last several years. We’ve had plenty of in-depth conversations about the strangest and nerdiest topics. From comic books to video games to movies and television shows, it gets pretty awesome. It’s all good fun though…so long as the top brass don’t hear us dicking around instead of working…unless they’re in the conversation too, then it’s still all good fun! But, I am super glad that you liked it! That was my aim, after all!
As for your point regarding the town, I did feel it somewhat necessary to flesh out the setting of the town, primarily for setting. I appreciate you believing it might not feel as important, but I do want to come back to it at a later date—mostly in the form of contemplation for our dear Sergeant. But, maybe you’re right and it was too much overstimulation as far as description goes! I’ll keep it in mind for the future and try not to overdo it.
The dialogue formatting I’ve seen can be either way as far as capitalization goes when it’s outside a name (she, he, they, etc.) but I just have a personal preference towards the capitalization for the speaker, regardless of whether name is being used or not. I’ve also seen punctuation vary on that matter, whether a comma or a period is used within a dialogue format. I’ve seen it in professionally published novels, and well, the fun thing about the rules of language, grammar, punctuation and all that entails, they tend to be written, broken, bent, and rewritten. The foundations are usually always the same, though. I think it may be a case of personal preference, when it boils down to it. Again, I appreciate your candidness in pointing it out, though!
As far as capitalizing “pokémon”, I feel it’s an important distinction between capitalizing the games proper, such as “Pokémon Alpha Sapphire” versus the actual usage of the word in casual conversation or description. Again, I feel as though this might be a personal preference that varies from person to person, as some might feel it’s important to capitalize the word. I personally don’t feel it is for the general description of pokémon, but the names of the pokémon, however, such as Taillow or Ralts or Pikachu, I do feel important enough to give them their due. But that’s roughly about it.
Whew, that was a lot to cover, and I hope that you enjoy future chapter installments. I’ll try to catch any further typos that definitely don’t belong such as the “breathe” versus “breath” one! I’ll keep in mind my punctuation for the future as well; it might just be that little tic that turns readers away. I do know I don’t like the way people do things like, “And then she said”. With the damn period outside the apostrophes! WHY?! Ugh, anyway, again, I thank you for taking the time to read through and then write out this lovely critique! While I do have my disagreements, I feel it’s necessary to be civil about it and not be a dick. If I can’t handle college-level class critique, then why bother, right? Anyway, I hope you have a great day, my dude!
secs ago[I think it may be a case of personal preference]
It objectively isn’t in this case, sorry. Check an online grammar resource or style guide and you will see they back me up. The reason the format might have looked inconsistent is because there are subtle changes depending on what type of verb is used and where — a non-speaking verb means the sentence is capitalized, a speaking verb means it isn’t.
This thread goes into more detail: https://www.fanfiction.net/topic/11834/21887406/1/Writing-Guide-Part-One-Grammar
Thanks for your response.
16m agoWell, thank you for the correction! I do think (and this is only a personal opinion) that such a small typo on my end shouldn’t completely discourage one from enjoying a story. However, I am glad to have had a civil conversation regarding this. I’ll try to be more on top of things, but things do slip me by! Nobody is perfect, or completely aware of all their mistakes right as they make them (or even right after, for that matter), but I shall endeavor to try better! Thanks again for the candidness in your constructive critique and, aside from the minor mistakes I’ve made, I hope the chapter was enjoyable!
secs ago[I do think (and this is only a personal opinion) that such a small typo on my end shouldn’t completely discourage one from enjoying a story.]
Oh, sure. But it’s still something that can be corrected, so I find worth in pointing it out.
20m agoWell, everyone sure does need improvement, even if they personally don’t think so. I’ll admit, my first kneejerk reaction was to go “piss off!” before I had to adult on the situation, calm my ass down, and swallow the (sometimes) bitter pill of self-reflection and take the advice that was given me. It takes time to admit that one should seek self-improvement. I’ll take the link you so graciously provided, and try to sit down and read through it all. It’s mostly common sense things that I know of (there, their, they’re!), from what I’ve skimmed, but I do see some nuances that I do mess up from time to time. Thank you again for your help!
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/13054653/
Seems to work fine for every other person who’s ever read my stuff. Thanks for the input, but it’s just the way I do things. Sorry if that makes it hard to read, but considering you’re the first person in ten years who’s even mentioned it I’d have to say what does it matter?
Also you lost every shred of credibility when you mentioned the site rules at the end. That’s just a straight up lol. I’m serious, that’s actually funny.
secs ago[Also you lost every shred of credibility when you mentioned the site rules at the end. That’s just a straight up lol. I’m serious, that’s actually funny.]
19m agoIt’s just a laughable rule for a site dedicated to fan work. Though I should say, someone seems triggered by what you’ve written. You have an admirer?
secs ago“Triggered” means “to trigger a panic attack”. It’s a real term used by medical professionals, and using it for other things devalues its use and delegitimizes the experience of PTSD sufferers, so please don’t.
[It’s just a laughable rule for a site dedicated to fan work.]
Why? It helps make stories more navigable. It’s very confusing when the chapters in the menu don’t match up with chapters in the story.
47m agoFortunately I don’t think PTSD is real so that doesn’t bother me. I hope you don’t think you’ll trigger me by attending to my responses in the way you are. Unless you find this fun. I guess that’s cool too.
Sure, but then you’re talking about general structure and writing knowledge, both of which an author is not required to have to be a member and post stuff. Again, the idea of it being a site rule is laughable.
You haven’t mentioned your stalker. Is it not something you want to talk about?
secs ago[I don’t think PTSD is real]
3m agoNo reason