Mostly appreciative, one really tepid revenge review.
re: Your review to Perfect Son
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/13075550/
Thank you for your review! I appreciate the efforts you make to give people positive and constructive feedback, and understand that some people don’t feel the same way – however, in my case I found all the points you made to be fair.
I absolutely should include line breaks, I’m just lazy. I’ll make sure to edit them in and add them in future, its simply the formatting of my original documents that causes the lack of spacing.
Your personal preference point I’d like to counter with my own – I find all the pre-gen 3 Legendary pokemon to be boring and kind of forgettable, and always default to Arceus, as a lot of fans think of it as the ‘god pokemon’. I tried to cover the Alolan culture with the Tapus to make up for this. It’s just my personal preference in turn.
Your other points are valid and slipped by my editing. Thank you for taking the time to comment!
secs ago[as a lot of fans think of it as the ‘god pokemon’]
I know, but I just feel that’s uninspired — the actual inspirations for Arceus are basically every creator god *except* the Judeo-Christian one, and in Shintoism and Hinduism the creator god isn’t given absolute prominence. I also feel like defaulting to an all-god gives fewer opportunities for characterization — if you have someone, say, praying to Dialga but not Palkia, or Mesprit but not either, that can tell us something about their personal values or upbringing, in that they chose this god over the others.
[its simply the formatting of my original documents that causes the lack of spacing.]
Yeah, that tends to happen. I generally find it works if you double-space in a Word document, paste it into AO3, and remove the nbsp characters it inserts for the extra lines; that’ll give you a raw HTML that should work anywhere.
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/13076890/
Can’t help but feel your reviews could be a little more balanced. An entire paragraph of exposition on what you’re doing, a wall of corrections and then four whole words of positive feedback on what you enjoyed about my story seems lacking, at least to me. It doesn’t bother me that much, but if this isn’t the first time you’ve made a review like this, I imagine you’re going to inadvertently annoy quite a few people. Even if criticism is dressed up as polite, if criticism is almost all of what there is, the writer’s still going to feel like you’re just in it for the editing, don’t really give a damn about their story, and will thus be less likely to take what you suggest to heart. Just an opinion from a third party. :)
Capitalization and he vs neutral makes sense. I don’t consciously use he vs it with Pokemon to make a statement about genders, it’s just how I sometimes refer to them when considering their traits and role in the Pokemon lore, so I may edit that, I may not.
Thanks for the feedback. :3
St Elmo’s Fire,
A new guest review has been posted to your story. Please login to moderate this review.
Story: The Boulevard of Broken Hearts
Chapter: 3. Chapter 3
From: Tyrone (Guest)
Tyrone:Lmao, I just came to join the hate train. No matter what you do, you can’t lose us trolls. Good luck m***!
Except I can, because they foolishly sent this as a deletable guest review. Don’t recognize the name.
The Into the Wild universe has a few reasons for people not eating pokemon. Unfortunately, I can’t share them at the moment. They’ll probably be important for Part 2.
Thanks for reading.
Hey, I just wanted to say thank you for the very detailed review. While I know that my story is going to fair bit different than the standard Pokémon canon, I do appreciate you pointing out some of the differences that could serve to trip up readers.
In regards to the footnotes, I was a bit worried they’d be too excessive. However to be completely honest, I really enjoyed Lamora’s Game of Champions (I believe it’s been taken down unfortunately), and it used footnotes, at least in my opinion, pretty well and helped to build up the story.
I’ve only really written longer prose, nothing quite as serial-like as this, so I did really appreciate your commment about being sure to hook the audience in to come back for the next chapter. I’ll try to be more conscious of that for the next one.
Again, I just wanted to say thank you for the review and for taking the time to read my story. It of course means a lot for anyone to take the time to read my work, much less go through and review it.