Someone’s frustrated by Hybrid bringing drama. Responses are otherwise appreciative.
re: Your review to Right Your Wrongs
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/13078357/
Well, thank you for being blunt about this! I’ve heard some negative things from one user about this, but I think they just made the situation weird. I don’t wanna hide the fact that someone wanted me to block you, since they tried to reply to your review with his own review anyways. But so far, I don’t really see an issue with this.
Going off the game dialogue I’ve seen over the years, I think it’s capital letters when you talk about a pokemon species, so going off that, I think it should be Goomy and not goomy. But hey, I could be very wrong. But even then, I think Goomy looks better, but that may just be me.
I think it can be either remembers or remembered, but I will say that I didn’t notice that mistake initially. It should be fixed now!
I actually touched into that in chapter 2 about why he remembers nothing. I wanted to do something similar to Scott Pilgrim and his memory, as he doesn’t remember all the wrong things he’s done, his brain trying to convince him he’s a pretty decent person. However, going into research, the cause for suppressed memories can be anything from brain trauma (which is believable, as he has taken hits for his team before to give them a chance to attack), to a thing called fugue state. It’s pretty interesting.
I’ve always learned it other ways, so I’ll try to write something like that, but also go off what I’ve learned in school. I will say that I am still learning to this day, meaning that I’m still taking English classes and such, so there’s still plenty learning left.
Well, we’re mostly seeing the story through his area of knowledge, and unfortunately, he doesn’t remember anything due to repressed memories. Going into how this all began in detail would reveal too much about what hasn’t happened yet, and would pretty much spoil you on future events. So for now, it’s meant to be a mystery that slowly unravels and reveals itself.
secs ago[I’ve always learned it other ways, so I’ll try to write something like that, but also go off what I’ve learned in school. I will say that I am still learning to this day, meaning that I’m still taking English classes and such, so there’s still plenty learning left.]
My paragraph is pretty dense since I can’t split it into multiple lines, but website like Grammar Girl might give you more help on this.
And yes, I don’t know what’s wrong with Hybrid of Fate. I’ve heard she repeatedly harasses users if they don’t fall in line, but hopefully you can ignore her and she’ll leave you alone.
55m agoGrammer Girl, huh? I’ll be sure to keep that in mind!
And yeah, she seems like she’s pushing me to block you and a bunch of other people, and practically called me out for not doing it both in PMs and in that review, which is pretty worrying. Imagine if I planned to and wasn’t able to or something.
I sent this already t I have no clue if the app actually got it to you
I was actually looking forward to your review after I decided to look for your profile on the site after Pyle had messaged me! Here’s what I thought on the review you gave me:
“You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon…”
I was honestly still on a middle ground for this, but the part where you mentioned that Pikachu’s name is the same as his species made me feel like I can utilize more species naming in the future, and I decided to edit the file to set those as lowercase.
“How does a Charmeleon hold a pencil?”
This one, I’ll admit, is entirely suspension of disbelief, there will be a fair amount of that to emphasize more narrative, and less realism.
Also I intended for it to be a pen, not a pencil, and that has been edited accordingly.
“Too insubstantial for a first chapter.”
Entirely! I wholly agree with this and was a bit concerned when I saw the size of it on the draft, I decided it served more as an extended introduction than a prologue, so the chapter name has been edited to say that instead. I intend for chapters to be short enough for me to have a regular upload schedule, though.
It would be a great help to me once I begin showing the full story of what happened for you to provide advice on how to improve in worldbuilding and character development, as those are my weaker points and serve as this story’s function to me, a chance to refine my art in both writing, and the visual media that I’ll be including with the chapters. (A smell sketch of a scene, though if visual art isn’t your thing to critique, that’s clearly fine, you aren’t getting paid for this after all.)
I appreciate the help, and I think this reply was longer than the damn story.
Also, I’m a fool for expecting FF to finally get rid of the one day restriction on PMs.
St Elmo’s Fire,
A new guest review has been posted to your story. Please login to moderate this review.
Story: The Boulevard of Broken Hearts
Chapter: 1. Chapter 1
:You had it coming dude.
I’m actually surprised people haven’t ganged up on you sooner.
Unsurprisingly, no one has actually ganged up on me, and this story in particular is full of glowing reviews. I’m not sure why Hybrid thinks she can make things true just by saying them.
re: Your review to Pokemon Origins: Ruby, Sapphire and Emerald
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/13078167/
I don’t care who started this, I don’t want this drama on my story.
However, I do thank you for your review.