“The only point (once again) that you need to focus on is that I am writing in a way that makes me happy. That is all that matters. Goodbye.”
re: Your review to A Different Beginning Kanto Reborn
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/13103293/
Thank you for your… thorough review.
How the story is tagged is not an essential part of the readers enjoyment, and plenty are finding their own way to it. But thanks anyway.
You say I do not need to capitalise “Pokémon”, yet when you look at the subtitles on the original anime “Pokémon” is capitalised in every sentence that it is used in. Similarly, it is capitalised in the game series… if it’s good enough for the creators themselves then it’s good enough for me.
Linked to this point is the capitalisation of “Trainer” and “Professor” – these are the titles of their job or profession. If you are a the President it is capitalised because that is your title, or job. You may teach in a school, so you are a Teacher. Similarly the Professor is the title of his job, and also something that could be used before his name on official documentation and letters, so is linked to his proper noun and requires capitalisation.
The whole point is that the whole world changes before Ash can collect his first Pokémon. Laws change. Team Rocket change. The League changes. Your argument is that the starter wouldn’t change his journey very much. I am not arguing this. Ash has had his entire mindset changed due to the mistreatment of “weaker” Pokémon: he trains much harder, becomes more serious, chooses a Pokémon he knows is considered weak in order to completely change his battle style and the way that his journey will continue – gone will be the easy-going Ash and in his place is a serious contender that will try his best. Many things can change because he has been allowed to grow and evolve before going on his journey.
No, if you do not like the way the paragraphs look then you do not have to read the story. But thank you once again for your opinion.
In regards to your comments on dialogue, you say I cannot write this sentence: [“Hi,” she said, “this is it.”] because it is grammatically incorrect. Well, here is a quote from AJ Miller “Not bad,” she said, “but very tired.”. The layout, grammatical features and style are all exactly the same. If a famous author can use it in their work, then I will too. But once again, I thank you for your opinion. I will take it on board in the future.
As for the numerical starting a sentence – the formal grammatical guideline is that you should not do it. In an academic essay I would never dream of using a numeral, but this isn’t formal writing. This is me being bored, and writing my own thing, in my own way. So the grammar rules for formal situations do not apply.
My grammar is not always perfect, my sentence structure is not always perfect. I honestly challenge you to find someone that writes perfect sentences every time without having to correct something, authors have their work checked several times before being published. I do not have the time nor manpower to do that, so there will be mistakes.
Perhaps try to just read the story from the view of an amateur just trying spread a little bit of their creativity into the world, rather than as someone has to conform to formal guidelines and produce author quality writing whilst sat in their bedrooms in the 30 minutes they have spare before work.
Once again, I thank you for your review and mean no disrespect in my reply. I only ask that you refrain yourself from picking so intently at something that doesn’t need it. We are amateurs. Lots of us write a few paragraphs on the bus on the way to work, or whilst half asleep at the end of the working day. We do not care about making everything perfect, we only care about sharing our idea with the world so they can imagine it for themselves. You do not need perfect grammar for an imagination to work, always remember that.
secs ago[How the story is tagged is not an essential part of the readers enjoyment]
Yes it is. People who want to filter for or against a certain world need you to tag the fic properly for that feature to work right. It will take you five seconds and will make a lot of peoples’ lives easier. Please just do it.
Capitalization arguments go here: https://www.fanfiction.net/topic/11834/55376155/1/Capitalization-Thread
[Linked to this point is the capitalisation of “Trainer” and “Professor” – these are the titles of their job or profession. If you are a the President it is capitalised because that is your title, or job. You may teach in a school, so you are a Teacher.]
It actually doesn’t work that way. You are confusing this with the rule that titles are treated as proper nouns when they are appended to names. That is true, but titles on their own are not capitalized. So “Professor Oak” is correct, but “a professor” on its own is not.
[No, if you do not like the way the paragraphs look then you do not have to read the story. But thank you once again for your opinion.]
That’s not an opinion, that’s literally how web documents are formatted. Paragraphs are not meant to be separated with just a single line break; that makes it too hard to tell where one ends and the next begins. HTML documents will add spacing between paragraphs automatically, but for FFN it’s necessary to add it manually.
[In regards to your comments on dialogue, you say I cannot write this sentence: [“Hi,” she said, “this is it.”] because it is grammatically incorrect. Well, here is a quote from AJ Miller “Not bad,” she said, “but very tired.”.]
As I said in the next sentence: And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s [“Hi. This,” she said, “is it.”] So yes, that’s correct.
In your fic, however, I see much more basic errors just in the first scene:
[“Hi Professor, I won’t take up too much time I just want to send you one of my Pokémon – it failed me for the last time and I have no use of it anymore”] – no punctuation
[“Wait… Daniel, you can’t just-” before he had even finished speaking the young man had inserted the Pokéball into a round, ball shaped capsule on the other end of the phone and sent it through to the Professor.] – narration does not describe speech, so should be capitalized
[The boy, around 9 years old with raven black hair, shook his head sadly “but that isn’t fair! Call him back Professor! Tell him to take Butterfree back!”] – the narration here should end with a period, and the dialogue should start with a capital, as they’re separate sentences
I understand my dialogue paragraph is dense; a more readable form can be found here: https://www.fanfiction.net/topic/11834/21887406/1/Writing-Guide-Part-One-Grammar
[As for the numerical starting a sentence – the formal grammatical guideline is that you should not do it. In an academic essay I would never dream of using a numeral, but this isn’t formal writing. This is me being bored, and writing my own thing, in my own way. So the grammar rules for formal situations do not apply. ]
Actually, stories have the most stringent grammar standards of all. As an author you need to immerse the reader in your world, and any technical error will jar them and ruin that. We do, in fact, need perfect grammar for imagination to work. I, too, like stories to be fun, but it’s not fun to be jarred out in that way.
To be clear, since you’re being really weird here, this is in no way a moral judgement. You’re under no obligation to defend yourself and I have no power to make you do anything you don’t want to do. Yes, people make grammar mistakes. But fixing them is easy and improves the story, so it is better if you can do so. If you’re still learning that is fine, but you need to understand this is important and something you will need to work out. The grammar guide I linked earlier is very helpful, as are other sites like Grammar Girl.
2m agoNo it isn’t.
No I won’t read the thread.
No, I’m not.
The dialogue is fine for an amateur, it won’t change. We discussed this before.
You are mistaking my story, and the story of my fellow fic writers with stories of authors. The story of an author needs perfect grammar because it is their job, their joy and their life. My story does not, because quite frankly I do not care what grammar rules I break as long as I am happy.
I am not being weird at all, I was polite and thanked you for your feedback. But now? Frankly I do not care. I am doing what makes me happy in my story and that’s all there is to it. If it bothers you, read something else.Thank you, I do not expect a response. Any response I receive will be deleted without being read. The only point (once again) that you need to focus on is that I am writing in a way that makes me happy. That is all that matters. Goodbye.
secs agoIf you didn’t want to talk to me, you shouldn’t have responded in the first place. Again, you’re under no obligation to do that.
It occurs to me that it’s actually been a while since I’ve run into this brand of self-centeredness. Possibly Hybrid has been pushing out all the people normally inclined to argue with me.
re: Your review to Eclipsed Paradise
29 OctWings Made of Procrastination
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/13099016/
Hi! I’ve seen you a lot around this site but I suppose that’s because I’m used to seeing the controversy between certain groups of reviewers. To be honest I think your advice is quite helpful and I’m grateful that you took the time out of your day to read my story and review!
In response to your feedback, I’ll probably go back and smooth out the small grammar errors. I thought I had edited my story well enough but you evidently combed through it pretty thoroughly!
The reason I specifically pointed out Lillie’s eyes for her first impression, although it’s a rather overused trope, is because her blonde hair and green eyes are the physical similarities I find most similar to Lusamine’s. When I eventually get around to writing the trip to Aether Paradise, I purposefully want it to be a bit obvious that Lusamine and Lillie are related so the story can move in a different direction rather than have the characters act shocked when the relationship is revealed, if that makes any sense.
To me, Piper represents a perfectionist, stressed student to the point where her and her pokemon’s health is at risk. I try to write from my own experiences and I feel as though most people can relate to the stress of school, although Piper views school in a more extreme light because she’s always worked to be the top student. So although she does obsess over perfection, like Lusamine, she’ll obsess over it in a until she realizes something needs to change– and that’s where her and Lusamine differ.
I do agree with the concept of leaving out some of the basic plot elements that nearly almost every fanfic of the SM games seems to have. I did my best to cut some content from the beginning, and I realize the first chapter moves a little slow, but I wanted to take enough time to set the scene. Although I probably could’ve cut a little more and had it work just fine, I won’t be removing any more content simply because I’d have to edit the rest of my chapters following Piper’s narrative to make that work.
Overall, thank you so much for your genuine critique! I enjoyed reading what you thought was good and what you thought needed to be improved. I hope these notes give you a better understanding of what I was trying to convey, and I hope you have a wonderful rest of your day!
re: Your review to Mew-child
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/13097420/
Hello! Thank you for your review; I really appreciate your thoughts.
First, you’re not the first person to suggest that I not capitalize the names of Pokemon. I definitely understand the logic behind it, but I personally prefer capitalizing them as a stylistic matter; it’s something I’ve given a lot of thought to in the past and it’s something I intend to be consistent with in this story. I hope that doesn’t bog things down too much, haha!
Second, I’m happy to hear that the relationship between Mel and Repeat is coming across well. I enjoy writing them, but I also know that sometimes my characters can seem a bit same-y, so that’s something I’m working on in particular for this story.
And as a last note, I didn’t know empaths as trainers were that common! I don’t spend that much time in the fanfic community, but I would have guessed that people would have gravitated to non-trainer characters to explore more of the world than what’s presented in the games. Learn something new every day!
(Also, please excuse any typos; I’m writing this note on mobile.)
Thanks again, and have a great day!
secs agoThey’re not, like, super-common, but I’ve seen them come up several times. Authors usually find it more expedient to let the pokemon communicate with the trainer, or sometimes it’s just a badge to show how smart!aura!magic!Ash is the specialest trainer ever.
re: Your review to Encountering shades
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/13104109/
Hi. Yeah, I already knew the Arceus-God critic., I’m not a complete fan of Pokémon, so I’ll probably change that.
I heard English punctation rules are changing, but I take note of your remark.
Ok for the capitalized names. Thank you for reviewing, thanks for reading :)
re: Your review to Stadium
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/13100772/
Thanks for the reviews, St Elmo’s :)
Yeah, Cactaur is Final Fantasy. LOL. I mess up a lot of details in my fanfiction. I meant Cacturne but Cactaur is cuter anyway.
I appreciate you letting me know that “interactive fics” aren’t really allowed here. Maybe I should get an Ao3 account.
I saw that you have a few game fics yourself. I definitely want to check out your Homestuck and Undertale ones when I can…