“Also, given that it is a time travel story, past and present tense get kind of messed up, so you could argue that it’s intentional.”
Jul 10
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12039924/
Hello there, just wanted to thank you for taking the time to review the chapter and have taken the first two points into consideration.
On your third point, I just wanted to know at what points is it difficult for you to understand, is it certain parts like descriptions, fight scenes or the general storytelling, or is it all of the above. I just want to know cause its a huge problem for me if someone can’t understand anything what is going on. I want make sure that I can improve on the chapter as much as I can before handing it over to a beta-reader.
I understand that I am open to criticism and want to use that to take steps to improve my writing if possible.
Jul 10
mikeyrobbie
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12041939/
Hi thanks for the feedback, I appreciate it. Realize since I am a new writer I am not perfect. I will take a look at the things you pointed out and change them. Thanks again for the feedback!
Flame Kitsune 15A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12039116/
Thanks this was my first story and i appreciate the constructive criticism writing this on my phone is a bit of a pain so it will take awhile to make the changes oh and i know that
Jul 10
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12039071/
thank you I will try to be more clear in the future.
Jul 10OshawottTrainer501
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12042115/
Thank you so much for submitting this review! I will be sure to edit my chapter with these notes, as well as keeping them in mind for my upcoming chapters and other literary pieces I compose in the future.
SnowLucarioI am sorry that I made so many mistakes in writing the first chapter. It’s been deleted from my Google Docs account, so I can’t fix them. I will make an effort in later chapters to get these things right. Also, given that it is a time travel story, past and present tense get kind of messed up, so you could argue that it’s intentional.
Jun 29[Also, given that it is a time travel story, past and present tense get kind of messed up, so you could argue that it’s intentional.]
I know, and that’s precisely why it’s so important to get tenses right. If the narrator is speaking in present tense, that means he’s talking about something that’s currently happening (i.e., something that’s still true at the point he is in time, which is after the events he’s telling us). If he’s speaking in past, that means he’s discussing the events in his story that already happened. It’s not always clear which is which from context, so it’s important not to mix those up.
Okay. I understand. It’ll be all past tense from here on out. Other than that, did you like it?Also, I’ll uncapitalize Pokemon names.And hell is not the singular place in this case.I said I did like it, which just led to them constantly pestering me to read the story even though I didn’t like it quite enough to do that.
Jul 11
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12041898/
Hey, huuuuge thanks for the advice. It’s been over a year since I’ve written and I’m really glad to get something like this. It helps a ton, it’s the tips I’ve needed ever since I first began writing (and did it regularly) many years back. I’ll especially be taking up on getting a beta reader before posting more chapters to the story. Hopefully as I write out the fic, improvements will show. But again, thanks loads for the notes and advice. I’ll be looking it over as I work and try to stop writing at 2AM so I can focus over sporadically typing out a bundle of nonsense.
Jul 11
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12039807/
Fine. I’ll stick to Yokai Watch. Also, please check out that story and hand me improvements. I thought that your review was mean at first, but it’s just subjects for improvement. Thank you. And I will rewrite and change the title.
Jul 13
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12045650/
Thanks for reviewing my first chapter! Although I did want to let you know I intended to write this story just for fun. If you don’t like it that’s fine. But don’t you have anything better to do than criticize me and my writing? If not then I ask you politely to never read my story again or review it. I want to have fun with my story. I don’t want somone to criticize everything I write because that definitely won’t motivate me to continue the story. I understand you’re the kind of person who gets off on being negative and looking down on other people, but please just leave. I’m doing this story for my instagram followers, and I’d prefer they don’t see harsh and criticizing reviews from people like you. So yeah…in others words…don’t ever review again because I don’t care if my writing is bad or not in the least.
You can block me, you do realize?They haven’t yet. Perhaps we will reenact this conversation in the future.
Jul 12
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12044162/
Hi! First, I wanted to say thanks for taking the time to read and review. I know it can take up a lot of time, so it really means a lot to get some helpful feedback in regards to speech verbs. And if you don’t mind, could you help answer a few questions I have?
– In the event that you feel like you’re overusing the same dialogue tag (I’ll use “said” as the example), would you recommend using a different verb, or scrapping the tag as a whole?
– I’ve always put quotations with a character’s thoughts as a way to differentiate bits like that from specific words that were italicized for emphasis. So should I not italicize individual words?
Thanks again for the help!
Jul 12[(I’ll use “said” as the example)]
…I think you missed my point. You can’t overuse said, it’s practically invisible. If you feel you’re overusing other speech tags, like “exploded”, “rebutted”, or “interrogated”, you should default to “said”. Of course, you should also avoid long strings that are nothing but “he said/she said…” or just pure dialogue. I’d recommend varying the sentence structure rather than the actual tags in that case — describe what’s going on, people’s expressions, break up the sentences at dramatic points, etc. Sometimes that doesn’t work, such as with a tense, quick, or dramatic exchange — in that case, you should scrap dialogue tags altogether to draw the reader’s focus to the dialogue.
[I’ve always put quotations with a character’s thoughts as a way to differentiate bits like that from specific words that were italicized for emphasis. So should I not italicize individual words?]
Drop the quotes, that’s all. Italics but no quotes, or even no demarcation at all (just making it part of the narration) is standard for thoughts.