2 DecTrashYatt

Hi, and thanks for your input. I’m indeed not an English speaker (nor writer for that matter, but i try.)
I just use these [«»] since i feel it’s…cleaner, i guess.

But thanks for the criticism. I know i need it. :)

4 DecFa6ex

First of all, thanks for the reviews! I too believe constructive criticism is the way to go, and I appreciate people who give it out.

As for the review itself:

Prologue:
– I would capitalize race or species name in most settings. It grants relevancy to the name and the individual(s) associanted with it. In this story, a Pokémon’s species serves as its identity, much more so than, for example, human beings (you’ll see how and why in future chapters).

– Even though it may be correct, writing dialogue like you said breaks its flow. I will stand by my convention.

– The prologue and the first chapter portray different characters, are completely disconnected spatially and only vaguely connected temporally. It wouldn’t make sense to merge them.

Chapter 1:
– You’re right. Fixing that one.

– Kalian isn’t the only instructor. I don’t mention that in the story but I thought it was obvious due to the ‘clues’ I left throughout the chapter. E.g.: Brent mentioning ‘our group’ and ‘From the thousands of people that applied’

– Kanto law is quite different from our law. Pokémon research is generally held in high regard.

– Again, different laws. In addition, he had already been paid 10000 pokédollars, not to mention Silph is a worldwide famous company. I don’t mention that in the story because it’s kind of implied in the games. If you still see something wrong with this, then you’re on the right track ;)

– Thoughts are italicized for a clear distinction from other forms of ‘speech’.

– This is Brent’s point of view. Pokémon battles are nothing special to us, but he really admires them. I want to put emphasis on that because it will be relevant in the future. Stick around to find out why.

– I did. ‘Confident in my choice, I signed the contract’ This is after Brent’s dream, 4 paragraphs before the one you mentioned.

– Bear in mind that he’s legally bound. He doesn’t want to mess with a world-famous company.

– I feel like you skipped a lot while reading. I understand my story may not be very good, but please do read everything before posting a review. Regardless, 4900 words should never be enough to cover the entire summary and completely flesh out a character in his emotional and physical aspects, along with his life experiences.

4h ago– So do I. I’m not going to change that.

– Kalian didn’t introduce himself ‘properly’. He was their drill sergeant up until the point where he ‘changed his demeanor’ and as such I saw no need for them to know his name. On the other hand, Julius was told about Brent and his group’s identities.

– Well, if I try to explain that I will give away some plot details. However, you’re right about his reaction. I will add in a few hints as to what’s really going on.

– ‘What the hell was that?!’ is italicized in the story. Thoughts begin with a ‘, while speech begins with a “, in addition to not being italicized.

– See answer #3.

– Bis.