Dragon Quill

8 Decdairu123

actually I’m very happy when people care enough to give constructive criticism. It helps me see problems and improve. I also like that you made sure to let me know you didn’t mean any harm by it. I have seen some that do take offense, but I’m not one of those people. Anyway, let’s get on into it, shall we?

[He also approached me saying that if I could get a pokemon on my own somehow before my sixteenth birthday, which was coming very soon, I could go on my way, and follow my dream.]

I agree, after you said it, I could tell it was a lot for a single sentence. I’ve always had a bit of a problem with jumbling up words and sentences in my head, and it’s usually a mess before I proofread and edit. I changed it, and it does feel like an improvement, but would care for your input. —- [I was a little surprised when he approached me, taking me to the side. Telling me that if I could catch a pokemon before my sixteenth birthday, I could follow my dream.]

Every time I write I always ponder if the names of the pokemon should have been capitalized. I don’t capitalize the word pokemon because to me it feels like just saying the word animal, or it’s a name for a specie. Then again, that makes sense to not capitalize the pokemon names because for that same reasoning. It is the name of their respective specie. I’ll be sure to go back and fix it.

As for formatting dialogue incorrectly, I can understand your explanation. I didn’t know that. Someone was helping me with grammar and spelling awhile back, but never covered it. I’ll take note and keep that in mind when writing, thank you.

Yeah, I’m not sure where I was headed with this story way back when. It’s just a rewrite of my very first story on fimfiction, or online even. The original was written back before 2009 and the grammar and spelling was atrocious. I’m only even rewriting it to show I’ve improved. Not sure if I’m wanting to continue because I can see that it didn’t lead anywhere, and I’ve thought about rewriting it if I do. I’m not happy with Bret’s character, and he had an unusual and erratic change in his personality later on. I totally agree with you. I can remember when I originally wrote it, I was so into the games that I was just trying to make it feel like the games or show, but I’ve learned a lot since then, and wish to take up writing again.

Now however, I’m thinking of making another story, one with a better plot. Anyway, thanks for your input. If you wanted to beta read for me in the future of review any of my works, feel free. I enjoy the back and forth.

8 Decpochamas

My apologies – I thought I’d listed it under “anime,” so thank you for letting me know! I rectified it, so it should come up there now.

As for your second point, I… follow that rule in this fic anyway! Pikachu is capitalised because it’s a name – as is Meowth, Persian and, eventually, Raticate, but only for the Raticate that’s become a character. Here’s an example:

( Several ekans and arbok napped on the cold, wet floor; above them, koffing and weezing drifted lazily. Further back, a raichu was trading blows with a beaten-up sandslash, and even in the semi-darkness, Pikachu could see that all of the latter’s powerful claws were prosthetic. )

Ekans, arbok, koffing, weezing, raichu and sandslash are all lowercase because they aren’t proper nouns, and Pikachu is capitalised because it is! I hope this clears that up, since I have been doing what you said even before this review.

Thank you, though!